Heart of the Music (Saints & Sinners #1)

by Kaithlin Shepherd

“First, thank Christ you’re okay. Second, you are so stubborn that you can’t see that Jarrod loves you, and he would never cheat on you in a million years. He met up with her because she said she had a business offer for him, but she lied. It’s not who he is, Trish. He has a lot of faults, but that is not one of them. Third, let’s get you inside so you can sit down and we can figure out how to fix this mess. Joey just called me. Jarrod threatened the reporter. Now the reporter is threatening to sue.”

  She waited until they were inside and she was sitting down with her feet in the air before she tackled Sam’s comments about Jarrod threatening the reporter. “Give me my phone, Sam. I’m going to fix this thing with the reporter.”

  “I’m not sure you can fix this, Trish. He physically threatened the reporter in front of witnesses.”

  “Just hand me the damn phone, Sam.” Sam handed her the phone and she took a deep breath before dialing the reporter’s number.

  An hour later, she had managed to fix the issue with the reporter, called their lawyer to have an injunction drafted to stop the publication of the article, and talked Joey out of quitting his job.

  “I don’t agree with you running away from him. You need to let him explain what really happened. You know how pictures can be misleading.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck, and she could hear the hesitation in his words.

  He was probably right, but the last thing she was ready for at the moment was a conversation with Jarrod. “I’ll talk to him when I’m ready.”

  Jarrod

  One photo, one stupid photo taken out of context, and everything he ever wanted in life walked out his front door, and he doubted if she’d ever come back. He should have told her about having dinner with Elise, but with everything that had happened after that, it had slipped his mind. When Elise had called him out of the blue while he was in L.A. telling him about a potential contract for the band, he thought meeting her would be the perfect opportunity to tell her she needed to back off.

  The last thing he had expected was for her to throw herself at him and kiss him right in front of the paparazzi. He had pushed her off him so fast, she fell on her ass, but the pictures the reported reporter had shown Patricia had left that part out, which just pissed him off. The look on her face when Trish saw that picture, God, she looked so devastated, and now he was alone in his house instead of being with the woman he loved.

  “Drowning in a bottle of Jack isn’t going to win her back.” He turned around when he heard Sam’s voice.

  “But it’s sure as hell’s going to help me forget what happened.” Not that any amount of alcohol would fix this fucking mess. That was all up to him.

  “Maybe so, but forgetting it won’t fix it.” Sam poured himself a drink before sitting down beside Jarrod.

  “You didn’t see her face, Sam. I don’t think I can fix this.”

  “You did not wait five years to let it all end like this. You have not been in love with her for five years just to let her walk out of your life over a photo that doesn’t mean shit.” The rational part of his brain knew Sam was right, but the emotional part of his brain was slowly dying without her around.

  “How do you know it's shit?” he asked his best friend.

  “Because I know you, and I know you would never cheat on anyone, especially not Trish, and once she calms down, she’ll see that too.”

  Maybe Sam was right, maybe all she needed was time to cool down and see that he would never betray her like that. He would cut off his right arm before hurting her. “What do I do until then?”

  “You wait.” Jarrod nodded in agreement, but the only question now was, how long did he wait?

  Chapter Thirteen

  11 months ago

  Patricia

  Major network interviews always made Patricia nervous. She could never predict the direction of the questions, and as much as she prepped the guys before each interview, there was always a sense of uncertainty about how it would go down. They were all sitting in the green room, waiting for the guys to do Good Morning America to promote the new album, which had broken a lot of sales records in the last two weeks.

  “Okay, so remember to keep the focus on the music, not on your personal lives. I know y’all think your personal life is boring, which it kinda is, but for these people, your private information is fair game, and they will try to make it what it’s not. So always bring the questions back to the record,” she told them, hoping this interview would stay on track.

  “You worry too much, you know that?” Sam was her rock in times like this, but Jarrod was the one who could always calm her down. His hands settled on her shoulders and immediately the stress of a week of no sleep and pressure slipped away.

  “That’s it, let it all go,” he said as he pressed his chest against her back, his hands rubbing her shoulders. Her head fell back, and for a few seconds, she felt light as a feather, until a knock at the door startled her out of the trance Jarrod had put her in.

  “We’re ready for you,” the producer announced.

  Five minutes into the interview, and so far, everything was going great, but there were still five minutes left before the guys performed, and a lot could happen in five minutes.

  “So, guys, you know we can’t have you all here and not ask about your personal lives. Any special ladies in your lives who inspired this record? Because these songs are steamy and hot!” And here we go, the reporter had gone there.

  She felt herself stiffen, and when she caught Jarrod looking at her, she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

  Jarrod flashed his trademark smile to the reporter before answering, “You know, I think we all have women in our lives who inspire us to be better men. We’re surrounded by strong, independent women and that’s attractive.”

  “So, are you saying there’s a specific woman in the life of Jarrod Banks?” Damn, this reporter was getting on her last nerve.

  “No, there isn’t.” Trish was struck by the sound of women screaming at Jarrod’s answer. He turned to face them, giving them a smirk, making them fall a little more in love with him.

  “There have been reports that you and your publicist, who we all love, have been getting pretty close. Is there any truth to that?” Patricia spit out the sip of coffee she had just taken. She glared at the producer, and if looks could kill, he would be dead.

  “You know I won’t comment on that. Patricia has been with us since the beginning, and we all feel very protective of her. Plus, have you seen our publicist? What man wouldn’t want to get close to her?” He managed to make people laugh with his answer and turned it into a joke, which she was extremely thankful for.

  The minute the interview ended, Patricia stalked over to the producer like a woman on a mission. “Let’s get something clear here, Allan, you went behind my back with this. We made it clear that personal lives were off limits.”

  “Just doing my job, Trish. Rumors have been going around.” That was exactly why she could never let anything happen with Jarrod, no matter how bad she wanted to.

  “Then you clear those rumors up with me, not on national TV. Tread carefully, because you don’t want me as an enemy,” she warned him before walking away. On days like today, she hated her job. She hated how the media twisted things around and manufactured pictures or events to suit their purpose.

  Present Day – Three weeks later

  Patricia

  Locking herself in her house for three weeks had seemed like a good idea at the time, but she was about to go crazy. For someone who was always on the road and always had something to do, staying put for three weeks was pure torture. After the picture of Jarrod and Elise kissing came out, her phone blew up with interview requests, which she avoided like the plague. Melissa had called her every day, twice a day, making sure she was okay and that she was eating and taking care of herself. Sam had been more than a little overbearing, coming to see her daily, dropping off food and other supplies. As much as she wanted to know how Jarrod was, she wou
ldn’t allow herself to ask Sam.

  Jarrod had called her non-stop for the past three weeks, but she wouldn’t talk to him. Not telling her about his run-in with Elise was a blow she wasn’t sure she could recover from. For the six months Jarrod had dated Elise, she had continuously been put down by the woman in public and in private, and Elise always took great pride in telling her how Jarrod would never settle down, especially not with a woman like her.

  Her phone beeped, and when she looked at the screen, she saw she had a text from Sam. He had been so good to her for the past three weeks, always there for her. She knew he disagreed with her decision to avoid Jarrod, but he respected her choice and that was all she could ask of him.

  Sam: How are you feeling?

  Patricia: I’m okay. She’s kicking a lot.

  Sam: What about you?

  Patricia: I’m getting by.

  Sam: He wants to see you. You can’t keep running from him.

  Patricia: Yes, I can.

  Sam: This isn’t right, Trish.

  Patricia: Elise, Sam…Elise

  Sam: I’m telling you this because I love you. He loves you, Trish, more than anything in this world. Elise kissed him. He didn’t kiss her. Hell, he pushed her off and told her he was in love with you. Talk to him.

  She knew she would have to face him sooner rather than later. She might be pissed off at him, but she was carrying their child, and she couldn’t walk away from that connection to him. She just needed a little more time, just a little more time to get herself together before she saw him again. She was eating ice cream when her doorbell rang, which was strange because Sam had already been by today with his supply drop. As she opened the door, she realized she was going to have to face him sooner than she thought. “Jarrod.”

  Jarrod

  To say the past three weeks had been hell would be an understatement. Three weeks of not seeing Trish, three weeks of not hearing from her on how she was doing was about all he could handle. He was missing so much of her pregnancy and it was killing him slowly. He was thankful for Sam giving him updates. Even Melissa had called him to let him know how Patricia was doing, but he needed to know for himself. He needed to see her.

  He knew calling her wouldn’t get him anywhere, so showing up on her front steps was the best he could think of. The chances of her slamming the door in his face before he got a foot in was highly probable, but at that point, he was willing to take his chances. The minute the door opened, he let out a breath at the sight of her. She looked so beautiful, it hurt. Her hair was shinier than usual, her eyes and skin were glowing, and he wanted to touch her belly more than anything, but he held back.

  “Three weeks is all the time you get.” He pushed his way inside her house, because he wasn’t leaving until they got some things straight.

  When he was in the living room, he turned around and saw her a few feet from him, looking defeated at the sight of him. At least he could still get to her. “Jarrod, I’m not ready to talk to you.”

  He figured that was what she would say, and he was ready for her. “That’s okay. You just have to listen to what I have to say.”

  “Let’s just get this over with.” She sat down in the lounge chair.

  “How are you doing?” he asked, needing to know for himself that she was really okay.

  She huffed out a breath. “I’m fine.”

  He knew her well enough to know she wasn’t lying, and he felt some of the pressure ease in his chest. “What about the baby?” he asked, taking a few steps closer. He had to touch her. He knew he was taking a risk, but she was carrying his child, and he’d spent enough time away from them.

  She covered the hand he had on her belly with hers, and he felt the jolt of electricity down to his toes. “She’s fine, Jarrod. I know Sam has been talking to you, so you know all of this. Get to the point.”

  This was why he had come here, to clear the air. “That picture is not what it looked like, and I think deep down you know that. Elise called me when I was in L.A. She told me she wanted to see me, and I thought it would be a great opportunity for me to tell her she had to stop her act because I’m in love with you. She kissed me in front of the paparazzi, but I pushed her away the second she made her move. I pushed her hard enough for her to land on her ass. The picture you saw didn’t prove that, but these do,” he told her, handing her the pictures he’d bought from a paparazzo.

  She was silent for a few moments, and he didn’t know what she was going to say. “I believe you, I do. I don’t need pictures as evidence for that. But you still lied to me about seeing her.”

  He knew that was what she was really hung up on, not that he could blame her, but he needed her to understand that he didn’t do it out of malice. “Baby, you were in the hospital, and I was so worried that Elise wasn’t even in my head. That’s the only reason why I hadn’t told you.”

  She got up, and just when he thought she was ready to move forward, she said, “I can’t do this. You need to go.”

  “I’ll go, but know this, I love you and I will never stop loving you. I would never intentionally hurt you like that. It kills me that you thought I would cheat on you, but I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t care how much time it takes, I'm not going anywhere. I waited five years for you, and I’ll wait fifty more if that’s what it takes.” He kissed her forehead before heading for the door. He meant every word. He would wait for her, no matter how long, no matter how many songs, it took to get her back.

  Patricia

  A week after Jarrod had come by, she knew she had made a mistake. Deep down in her soul, she knew he would never intentionally hurt her. She had let her emotions get the best of her, and she missed him more than she even thought possible. As she pulled up to his house, the house she had walked out of four weeks earlier, she was more nervous than she had ever been in her whole life.

  She knocked at the front door, not wanting to just barge in like he still wanted her there. She was surprised when Jarrod’s mom opened the door. “Hi, Christine.”

  Christine pulled her in for a hug and looked her over from head to toe. “Oh, dear, I am so happy to see you.”

  “I just needed some time.” She figured the truth was the best way to go. The last thing anyone needed was another misunderstanding.

  Christine let her inside. She looked around the house where they had planned on building a family together, and she covered her belly with her hands, as if trying to protect the dream they had together. “You’re entitled to that, darling. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to figure things out.”

  “How is he?” she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

  They walked to the kitchen, where Christine poured herself a cup of tea. “He’s had better days. He loves you so much, darling.”

  The tears rolled down her face, which seemed to be the one constant over the past month, but she was done with that. She was here to make things right, and she would be damned if she wasted another second. “I know he does, Christine, and I love him too.”

  “I guess you figured things out.” Christine wasn’t asking her a question; she was stating a fact, a fact there was no arguing about.

  “Yes, I have,” she said simply, because what else was there to say?

  “He’s in the studio.”

  “Thank you.” She kissed Christine on the cheek and headed downstairs, the memories of the countless nights they’d spent down there overwhelming her. He was sitting at in his chair, staring down at his soundboard, looking deep in thought, oblivious to her entering the room.

  She walked closer to him. “Hi.”

  He spun around when he heard her voice and stared at her in silence for a few moments, as if he needed to make sure she was really here. “Hey.” His voice was so uncertain, she was pretty sure she had never heard anything like it before.

  “How are you?” She mentally kicked herself for not having anything better to say.

  He smiled at her like he knew exactly what s
he was thinking, which he probably did. “I’m okay. You?”

  She sat down on the sofa in front of him, her hands on their unborn child. “We’re fine.”

  “Good. You look beautiful, baby.” His words sent shivers down her spine. God, she missed his voice, his scent, the way he looked at her, the way he made her feel. She missed everything about him, and now that she was in front of him, all she wanted him to do was hold her, but they had to talk first.

  “I hate that you missed a month of our pregnancy.” Her emotions punctuated every syllable.

  “I hate it too. You’ve gotten so much bigger, so much more beautiful.” He joined her on the sofa, but didn’t touch her. He kept his distance, and she hated it.

  “I’m starting to look like a whale.” She laughed it off, because she really was looking like a whale, but she was learning to love the changes since it meant she was creating a life.

  Taking her by the waist, he sat her on his lap. “You’re gorgeous, baby.”

  She looked him in the eye and caressed his cheek with her palm, loving the feel of his stubble on her skin. “I know you didn’t do anything with Elise.”

  She knew he had more to get off his chest, and they needed this in the open. “Why did you believe it in the first place, Trish? You know that’s not me.”

  Getting the words out was a bit harder than she thought, which was crazy because the man holding her knew everything about her. “Honestly, I don’t know, and don’t think I really did in the first place. I hated her when you two were dating. She always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. Then we saw her at that event and she reminded me of that. Seeing the picture of the two of you just gave me a reason to run.”

  “Do I make you wanna run?” he asked. She felt his whole body tighten up underneath her, and she hated it.

  She took his face in both her hands and rested her forehead on his, eyes to eyes and nose to nose, as close as she could get. “No, God, no, you don’t. I love you, Jarrod. I don’t want you to ever think I don’t. Sometimes, it just feels like it’s too good to be true.”