The Wedding Dress Yes (Crossroads Collection)

by Amanda Tru

  Well, it doesn’t seem fair to me that Mom’s gotten one spiritual gift and lost it and replaced it with another and I still don’t have my first one yet. But Mom said I probably have it and just don’t know what it is, but maybe if I pray, God’ll tell me. So I’m going to try to remember to do that tonight, and I’ll be sure to let you know if I find out what it is.

  I guess that’s all for now, so good night!

  Woong

  Well, it’s Friday, which means soon I’ll get to take the weekend off of writing. Tomorrow should be a really fun day. Becky’s mom doesn’t have to work, and she has gas money now, so she’s driving Becky and me to go bowling and then after that ice skating so Becky can keep on teaching me how to go backwards. I’ve been thinking about what Mom said yesterday about how maybe God used me to help Becky become a Christian (or at least start going to church again), and I wonder if he wants me to do the same thing for Mrs. Linklater too.

  I’d ask Mom about it, but she’s in a bad mood today on account of her and Dad getting into a fight. It started when she was on the phone with her sister, and when she was done she called Dad and started crying and saying things like, “I don’t know why she’s being so stubborn,” and “It’s just a silly dress,” and “This happened more than half a lifetime ago.” I don’t know entirely what she meant, but I suspect it has something to do with so many of Mom’s family getting mad at her for marrying a black man back in the old days when folks didn’t tend to do that too regularly. But I figured that people from Mom’s family would be just fine with it by now, especially when they find out what a good guy Dad is.

  Anyway, Dad came home. I think he wanted to cheer her up, but they ended up getting into a fight. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, by the way, but they can get kind of loud. Dad kept saying things like, “If it’s just a silly dress, then you should let it drop,” and “If I knew the ceremony was going to get you like this, I would have suggested waiting another ten or fifteen years.”

  Well, finally they both apologized and made up, and then Dad had to go to a meeting at work even though he said he’d rather stay home and be with us. Mom’s not crying or yelling anymore, but I can tell she’s still upset. Except I’m not sure if she’s mad at Dad or Aunt Rhonda.

  Becky was really surprised when she found out my parents fight. She asked if they were going to get a divorce, and I said, “Nah, that’s just what they do.”

  With Becky’s parents, it was different, see. Becky’s parents never fought, at least that’s what she told me. They never fought at all, and then one day, her dad said he’d fallen in love with someone else, and he packed up his suitcase and left. Now he’s married to that someone else, and Becky has to spend certain holidays and weekends over there even though she says his new wife is a stuck-up pig.

  It’s strange, isn’t it, that Becky’s parents were the ones who never fought and ended up divorced, and my parents fight all the time, but they’re getting ready to reenact their wedding. Hey, maybe that’s a good example of irony. I can use it in one of my English papers next year.

  Well, I know better than to try to get in Mom’s way just now, so I’m doing my homeschool assignments, and then I’ll get to do some Wii. That’s about all that’s going on now. I think Auntie may be coming over for dinner tonight. Or maybe that was lunch tomorrow. I forget exactly when… I know she’s coming soon because she has another meeting with the doctor coming up. I really hope he says everything is okay.

  Woong

  So I decided to do something a little out of the ordinary tonight. I decided to write my aunt an email. Not Aunt Hannah either. I’m talking about Aunt Rhonda, my mom’s sister. The one who made her cry and get into a fight with Dad.

  My parents were talking about it more at dinner tonight, so I have a little more information now. Here’s what I know.

  Mom’s mom had a special wedding dress she wore when she married my grandpa. That was the same dress Mom wore when she married Dad, even though lots of folks in the family (my grandparents included) were against the wedding in the first place.

  So apparently that’s why Aunt Rhonda’s all upset. Can you believe it? Because Aunt Rhonda got married a few years later, and she had to make her own dress, but what she really wanted was the one Mom had hanging up in her closet. Well, Mom said she should have just asked her and that since Aunt Rhonda was a dressmaker, everyone assumed she’d be sewing her own wedding dress. And then Mom said she’s probably jealous because Mom is happily married and Aunt Rhonda’s husband is a mean old man who never lets her do anything she wants to do.

  So I guess this whole argument boils down to Aunt Rhonda not wanting to fix Mom’s wedding dress to make it fit her again because she’s sore that she didn’t get to wear it to her own wedding. Sounds pretty silly to me.

  So Mom asked Dad what he thought she should do, and Dad said, “Do whatever you want,” which got Mom angry at him again. So I’ve decided to fix things myself. I wrote Aunt Rhonda an email. It was pretty easy finding the address because Mom keeps her email open all the time. (I’m not even sure she’d know how to close it if she wanted to.)

  So I wrote her and told her who I was (in case Mom hadn’t ever told her about me yet, or maybe she did tell her and Aunt Rhonda just forgot), and I said that Mom was sorry she hadn’t thought to ask Aunt Rhonda if she’d like that dress for her own wedding, but now it was getting close to that reenactment, and Mom really wants the dress to fit her again. I’m hoping that after Aunt Rhonda sees that, she’ll get it all taken care of. Sometimes you just have to explain things to people before they understand what it is you’re really asking of them.

  So that was my one good deed for the day, and another was telling Becky she should ask her mom to come to church with us next weekend. Because if Mom’s right and God really did use me to help Becky become a Christian, and then if Becky helps do the same thing for her mom, maybe God’ll count it like I was the one to tell Mrs. Linklater in the first place, know what I mean?

  I’ll have to write more tomorrow when I come back. Talk to you then!

  Woong

  Well, yesterday didn’t go as planned. Not at all.

  Mom and I started the day by doing a little bit of grocery shopping, and I’ve already explained how long that takes. Well, after that, Auntie Hannah called and was crying, and Mom said we’d be right over. So we didn’t even go home. We just left the groceries in the car and drove to Auntie Hannah’s house on the other side of Medford. Emily was napping, and I didn’t have a book or anything else to do but sit and listen. And in a way, I’m glad I did because now I think I understand a whole lot better what’s going on with Baby Grace.

  Have you heard of chromosomes, the things that make up our genes? Something happened with one of Auntie’s baby’s chromosomes, so there’s like an extra chunk of one or something like that. And you might think that an extra chromosome would still be better than a missing chromosome, but I guess that’s not the case on account of Baby Grace being even sicker than the doctors were afraid of at the beginning.

  It’s hard to write this next part on account of it being so sad, but the doctors told Auntie Hannah that unless there was some kind of a miracle, Baby Grace isn’t going to be able to live after she’s born on account of all the things wrong with her. It’s not just the hole in her heart either. There’s a whole lot of other problems too. I think Auntie said something about her not having kidneys or maybe that her kidneys weren’t working, but the words the doctor used (I forget exactly what they are just now) meant that all those problems put together made it sound like Baby Grace was going to be even sicker than Spencer had been.

  Auntie cried (of course), and Mom cried, and they prayed, and we prayed, and I prayed on my own some after that. And it doesn’t seem right because I’ve even felt Baby Grace kicking inside Auntie’s tummy, so I know she’s okay right now. And if she’s okay right now, that makes me think the doctors might not know as much as they let on. And Auntie said several times that she stil
l thinks God might be working a miracle, but Mom took her hand and said, “Oh, sweetie.” The way she said it is like when she’s talking about my little baby brother Spencer, and I know that as much as Mom believes in God and the power of prayer, she probably doesn’t think Auntie’s going to get her miracle this time at all.

  Good news! At first, Becky thought she was going to have to spend VBS week with her dad and stepmom, but she found out she’d just been looking at the calendar wrong, so next month she and I are going to watch over the toddlers in the nursery for all of VBS. There’ll be some adult helpers there too of course, but I think it’ll be fun working with Becky and way better than if I had to volunteer in the nursery on my own.

  Becky’s really good with kids, and Emily will be one of the ones we get to watch. If Auntie helps at VBS at all. She signed up to be the snack lady this year, except the doctor thinks she shouldn’t do any extra work and should just lie around and sleep all day to keep Baby Grace from thinking it’s time to be born. I don’t know what lying around’s got to do with staying pregnant and not having your baby too soon, but I do know it’s hard to watch a three-year-old from the couch all day. In fact, I probably know that better than anyone because now that Auntie’s got doctor’s orders to rest, Mom and I babysit Emily every day until Uncle Simon gets off work. I don’t mind it, and Dad says he’ll even pay me a little bit of money at the end of the summer for helping out, but I love Auntie so much I’d do it for her even if I weren’t getting paid. Becky said she’ll come over sometimes too if she can get a ride. So we’ll have more people at the house this summer, which I’m hoping will mean I won’t have to do as many school assignments. (That’s why I’ve gotten out of the habit of writing here every single day on account of us all being so busy.)

  Oh, I heard back from Aunt Rhonda by the way. It wasn’t the nicest email in the world, but I guess there’s more to it than just her not wanting to work on the dress because she’s mad at my mom. She says there’s a special kind of fabric, and because the dress is so old it won’t hold up well to altercations or whatever that word is where you fix things so other folks can fit in something if they outgrow the original size. It makes me kind of sad on account of knowing how much Mom wanted to be able to wear the dress for the reenactment, but maybe now that she’s got Auntie Hannah to look after every day and little Emily too she won’t worry about it so much.

  That’s something about Mom. She’s always worrying about somebody or something. As long as she has someone else she has to take care of, she doesn’t worry as much for herself. So now most of her extra time’s spent helping Auntie Hannah. And there’s not much help Auntie needs physically, because all she’s supposed to do is lie on the couch all day and eat and go to the bathroom when she needs, and Mom and I do all the other hard stuff like make sure Emily doesn’t get too rowdy around her belly or stuff and nonsense like that. But Auntie’s really tired now, and she cries a lot. I don’t like seeing Auntie sad. It’s almost as bad as the time Chuckie Mansfield called Becky a bad name and made her cry, and it was so bad I even told the principal and Chuckie got in really big trouble.

  When Emily goes down for her afternoon nap, I’ve been hanging out with Auntie. She said she doesn’t want to talk too much about Baby Grace (although she does like it when we pray for her), so I’ll tell her about things from last school year or stuff and nonsense like that. A long time ago, I even wrote down the whole story of how I got adopted, and sometimes Auntie likes it when I read parts of it to her. Other times, though, Auntie’s too sad to want much company, and other times she’s asleep. So if it’s one of the days when Becky is over hanging out with us, we’ll play some board games or Wii. And if not, I’ll work in my room on some Legos I’ve been building. All in all, it’s not a bad way to spend the time. It certainly beats having to do hours of workbooks every single day. Except I wish it didn’t mean that Baby Grace was so sick. Auntie has another doctor appointment tomorrow. Mom’s going to drive her, and I’ll be in charge of keeping an eye on Emily in the waiting room. I hope it doesn’t go too long because sometimes she gets a little fussy without her mom.

  And I hope the doctor has some good news for Auntie about Baby Grace. We could all use some more of that!

  I’m pretty tired tonight, which is kind of how the whole summer’s been this far, especially now that Auntie and Emily come over every day. Auntie’s still tired, but the doctors say Grace looks real good and healthy right now. And by healthy, I don’t mean she isn’t sick. She’s still got that hole in her heart and problems with her kidneys and a few other inside parts, and there’s really nothing anyone can do to make that extra chromosome go away, but for a baby with all those things wrong with her, she’s doing really well.

  It kind of sounds bad to say it, but I think we’re all getting more and more worried. Because Grace is supposed to be born in about two more months. Mom says they might have to make her come out a little earlier than that because you know that liquid moms have inside their tummies? (I forget the word for it just now.) Auntie’s body’s decided it doesn’t have to make any of that, and so it’s pretty hard for Grace to move around. On the one hand, it should be good news that she’s getting closer to when she can get born, but on the other hand, that’s the worst news in the whole world on account of the doctors saying she’ll probably die once she’s out.

  I told Auntie all about my little brother Spencer and the photo album my brothers and sister made for him, and she liked the idea so much she asked me to help Emily take pictures of her tummy. So we do that a lot now. Emily’s getting really good. She can even open the camera app on her mom’s phone and take pictures all by herself.

  Since Auntie’s not really supposed to go anywhere (and it hurts her to move on account of her body not making enough of that fluid for Baby Grace to swim around in), we can’t do the bucket list like they did for baby Spencer. So we all came up with another idea. Actually, it was Emily who came up with the idea.

  I was in my room playing Legos, and I thought Mom was watching Emily. But Mom was in the den printing some invitations for her wedding reenactment and thought I was watching Emily. And so what really happened was neither of us was watching Emily, and she took some lipstick out of Mom’s purse and started drawing on Auntie’s belly while Auntie was taking a nap! So Auntie woke up and had red lines all over her tummy, and at first, she was really cross. But then I tried to explain it was my fault because I hadn’t been watching Emily well enough, and then Mom started to laugh and said Emily was just trying to give her baby sister a makeover.

  So that gave us the idea to decorate Auntie’s tummy. It sounds kind of weird when you put it like that, but the way we talk about it, we’re dressing Baby Grace up. Like one day, I found some of my Avenger action figures and lined them up on the couch, and we took some colored markers and made Auntie’s belly look like Captain America’s shield. And then Emily took a picture, and it made Auntie laugh so hard she texted it to Uncle Simon, and when we saw him that evening, he said it was so funny he laughed right out loud at his office.

  So the next day, Mom came home from her shopping (she doesn’t take me with her now on account of Auntie needing me to stay here and help her with Emily). Well, Mom had gone to the craft store, and she brought home paint she said was totally safe for pregnant bellies. She even called the phone number on the back of the bottle and talked to a real person to make sure, and then she told Auntie to call her doctor and ask just in case. And it might have been the weirdest question he’d been asked all day, but he said it was safe. And so we’ve been decorating Auntie’s tummy and then taking pictures of Baby Grace all made up ever since.

  I think my favorite was when we turned Auntie’s tummy into what looked like a bowling ball, and then I helped Emily cut out some pieces of paper that looked like pins, and we took a picture of Baby Grace at the bowling alley.

  So then we started to think of other places it would be fun to take a kid and decorated her tummy like that. So now we have pic
tures of Baby Grace with Micky Mouse ears like she’s just been to Disneyland, and once Emily and I painted what looked kind of like a race car like we were taking Baby Grace go-carting. And we spent a whole day making Auntie’s tummy look like all kinds of different animals, so now Grace really does have a bucket list because she’s been to all kinds of fun places like the zoo.

  On days when Becky’s here, Becky takes a special makeup pencil because she’s a really good artist. Once she covered Grace in spiderwebs, then put the Spider-man symbol right by Auntie’s belly button. That one was one of my favorites.

  Last night before bed, after Auntie and Emily and Becky had all gone home, Mom said what I’m doing is really good because it’s keeping Auntie happy and it’s giving Emily something she’ll always remember. Because even if she forgets about Baby Grace, she’ll have all the pictures of her little sister in her mommy’s tummy, and that’ll help her keep all those memories. Mom said she was real proud of me.

  I wanted to ask her if she really thinks Baby Grace is going to die. Because we’re only a few weeks away now from when she’s scheduled to be born, and it doesn’t seem right for me to be excited about something like that on account of how sick Grace is going to be. I guess as long as she’s inside her mommy, she doesn’t need her heart and kidneys to work as well because Auntie’s heart and Auntie’s kidneys are working double for her. But once she comes out, she won’t be able to do much on her own, and it makes me so sad to think about that my heart hurts.