31 Days of Winter

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘That’s really kind John, but if you recruit someone there won’t be a job for me to come back to.’

  ‘Not as a Senior Editor, no. I’d make you a Junior Partner with a substantial pay rise, that’s how much I don’t want to lose you.’

  ‘I don’t know what to say,’ I exclaimed. Junior Partner? Junior Partner was a serious offer for me at only twenty-six and he’d completely thrown me by acting like a human being for once.

  ‘Say nothing, take the letter with you, your desk will remain yours and come back and see me in a month’s time with your decision. I’ll get HR to email over a contract stating the new terms and pay. In the meantime, email me a meeting date and we’ll discuss it then and see how you feel.’

  ‘Thank you, I really appreciate your consideration,’ I smiled and let him see the sincerity behind it.

  ‘Well I’m busy, I have people to shout at all day and scare the shit out of, so if you’d make me a coffee before you go then you’re free to leave. Natasha makes crap coffee,’ he sighed and looked back down and starting writing again. I headed to the staff room in a daze. Had that really just happened? No shouting and a new job offer? I had some serious thinking to do while I was away.

  ‘Here’s your coffee, John.’

  ‘I think you mean Captain Cranky,’ he smiled with an arched brow as he looked up at me. My mouth dropped as I felt my cheeks flame. ‘I’ve been called worse, I hope you sort out your personal stuff and Happy Christmas, Ellie,’ he waved my letter at me and I took it and noticed another envelope. ‘You’d miss the Christmas bonus cheques while you’re away, now go, I have work to do.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Yeah whatever, don’t have a girly moment on me.’ His head was back down and I walked out, tucking the envelopes into my bag, still marvelling at how my day was turning out.

  I should have known I wasn’t that lucky. When I headed out to the lobby downstairs my heart sank, Zac was leaning against one of the pillars just outside the security turnstiles and he’d spotted me. I should have known that he’d be here waiting for me to come to work, after all it wasn’t like he had anywhere else to be. He was dressed down in jeans, a white shirt and black blazer, and I sighed to think only this time last year I’d looked at him and wanted to run my hands over his body. Now … nothing. I decided that I couldn’t hide behind the safety of the security checkpoint forever, I needed to get to the bank, get some cash and let them know I was going to be away. I also needed to go and buy a new iPhone, then get back to the hotel to collect my bags and meet Brooke who was taking me to the airport. I walked through the turnstile and put out my palm again as he tried to step too close to me.

  ‘What are you doing here, Zac? I thought I’d made it clear that I didn’t want to speak to you.’

  ‘How else am I supposed to, El? You clear out your stuff from our place, have Brooke get in the way of me coming after you, then she ditches me and your mobile’s in pieces all over our bedroom floor.’

  ‘Your bedroom floor, I don’t live there anymore.’

  ‘El, honey, we really need to talk. I’ve fucked up big time, I know that, but I don’t want you to go.’

  ‘Zac, I’ve already gone.’

  ‘If you had, you’d have taken off your engagement ring,’ he advised with a flick of his head to it. I shoved my hand in my jeans pocket.

  ‘I’ve had rather a lot on my mind Zac, my fiancé has been lying to me, cheating on me, doing drugs, clearing out our bank accounts and faking his job. Sorry if my still wearing a ring that meant something to me when we were happy has made you think that I can forgive all of that. I need to go, I have things to do.’

  ‘You’re not working?’ he asked as he looked down at my jeans.

  ‘No, like you I’m now jobless too. I just quit, so I can get away and clear my head.’

  ‘You quit?!’ he exclaimed. ‘Captain Crank let you out alive?’ I nearly laughed, nearly, but no way was I falling for that charm act again.

  ‘Yes, and he’s offered the position of Junior Partner to me if I change my mind and return.’

  ‘El, that’s amazing, I’m so proud of you.’ He stepped forward with his arms out, as if to hug me and I shoved him back.

  ‘You don’t get to be proud, Zac,’ I bit. ‘You lost that right a long time ago it seems.’

  ‘What can I do to make you forgive me, El? I’ll do anything,’ he pleaded.

  ‘I want you to leave me alone, I need to go.’

  ‘But I need to talk.’

  ‘Why ask me, Zac? You ask what you can do to help and you ignore me when I tell you what I need. You want to talk to make yourself feel better and that’s not my problem. You can’t dump all this on me and expect me to deal in a couple of days.’

  ‘So if I give you time you’ll sit down and talk to me?’

  ‘Yes,’ I sighed. ‘But it’s on the condition that you use your free time to go and get cleaned up. If you keep doing drugs or paying for prostitutes, I won’t want to even talk.’

  ‘How much time?’

  ‘I’m going away for a month.’

  ‘A month?’ he gasped and stepped back, putting his hands over his mouth.

  ‘I’ll contact you when I get back,’ I advised him as I averted my gaze.

  ‘Promise me you’ll think about if we can work this out, El? I love you.’

  ‘I promise,’ I sighed and quickly walked away, making sure I didn’t look back to encourage him. I was sure that he’d ruined any chance of me ever forgiving him. I mean if Brooke told me Steve had done what Zac had done to me, I’d scream at her to run like the bloody wind. I wished I’d had more sexual or relationship experience to have toughened me up a bit more, or an errant father that I could blame my need to be in a relationship on, to have someone to love and to love me in return, but I’d had the perfect childhood, the perfect supportive loving parents, until they both died in a car accident five years ago.

  Neither of my parents had made themselves careers. We’d lived hand to mouth every day on a council estate with high levels of crime and drug problems, but it was a happy home and they’d maxed themselves out on debt to support me through Uni. When they died, the creditors reclaimed pretty much everything. I reached up and caressed the small silver heart shaped locket around my neck, one of the few things I’d been able to keep between the creditors and my evil aunts stripping everything before I got home. Dad had given the locket to Mum the day I was born and inside was a picture of the two of them. Dad was standing behind Mum with a protective hand on her obviously pregnant stomach, and they’d put a tiny curl of my hair in it. I cherished it, because they did.

  I headed to the bank and stood in line and breathed in the welcome air conditioned air, not that it was warm outside, it wasn’t, but on the inside I was overheating with too many emotions. It would just sum up my last few days if the bank was held up at gunpoint and I was taken hostage. I grabbed my wallet out of my bag and saw my bonus envelope. I’d helped with two bestsellers this year, so was hoping for around £1,000, but was probably being optimistic. I wasn’t prepared for the extra zero on the end of the cheque. I looked at it as the cashier called me forward.

  ‘You’re making a deposit?’ she smiled.

  ‘No,’ I shook my head and shoved the cheque in my bag. I couldn’t just bank that without knowing if I was going back, or talking to John about why it was so high. I didn’t feel I deserved that. ‘I’ll just take some cash and I’d like to advise you that I’ll be away for a month.’ I headed out and purchased a new pay as you go iPhone and got a taxi back to the hotel and made it there before eleven. I stuck the phone on charge immediately and sorted my handbag ready for my flight. I’d used my largest case for my trip and hadn’t really bothered with many fancy clothes, I figured I’d be lounging about writing indoors most of the time. I suddenly felt excited, for a whole month Zac and his issues were behind me, and I had no work deadlines or worries. Brooke had already told me the spare room at hers was mine when I
got back, for however long I needed it. So for the first time in a long time, I could just focus on me. I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes finally had a bit of sparkle in them and my heart skipped a beat when I remembered, “It’s all part of the service, Miss Baxter.” I was way too invested in a voice.

  By the time I landed in the Scottish Highlands it was six-thirty and I stepped out of the plane to freezing conditions. I’d really not thought my outfit through properly. I’d wanted to look attractive, I hadn’t counted on it being so damn cold up here. I walked across the tarmac, the wind battering my previously perfectly styled long blonde locks, and into the relative warmth of the tiny airport. I didn’t have to wait long for my case and wheeled it out to the small lobby and looked at the faces of the people waiting, wondering what he would look like. I saw a tall good looking blond, in his late twenties I’d guess, smiling in my direction. I smiled back, he wasn’t bad at all. There Brooke Hanson, stick that in your pipe and smoke it! This was no lardy bald sweaty dude. I walked over and stretched out my hand, but he side stepped me and I heard a squeal and looked around to see he had his arms around a girl and she looked ecstatic to see him. I sighed, so much for that theory.

  ‘Miss Baxter, I presume?’

  I closed my eyes for a second and luxuriated in his smooth dulcet tones and took a deep breath as I prepared to face my mystery man. I was well aware that my fantasy was possibly about to be shattered, like the fragments of my previous iPhone. I turned and was faced with a wall of chest and the hollow of his throat. This guy was tall. He was wearing a cream Aran jumper and I saw one of his hands reach forward for mine. I gulped and took it, and the slight squeeze he gave it rocked me to my core, I could feel the sexual tension in him radiating out through that palm. I was scared of looking up, what if he had a face like a slapped arse? Everyone liked to say it wasn’t all about looks, but seriously, who wanted to open their eyes to ugly on the pillow next to them each morning?

  I lifted my head and took in a quick sharp inhalation. I wasn’t disappointed, this guy was all man. He was ruggedly handsome, with a nice firm square masculine jaw, which was unshaven and had possibly a couple of days’ growth. His lips were full enough to make mine swell, both sets, and his cheekbones could cut diamonds. As I looked up at his eyes, I nearly drowned in deep pools of sea green, and his messed up hair was black with a smattering of grey streaks, yet I’d probably only put him in his late thirties. His eyes seemed to watch me with amusement and I realised I was still holding his hand. I quickly looked down and let it go and stifled a groan as I saw his muscular thighs and the outline of his impressive erection.

  ‘Are you ready, Miss Baxter?’ he asked. O God, the possibilities of what he could mean with that simple question. He reached down to pick up my case.

  ‘It has rolly wheels,’ I pointed out. He just looked at me and smiled.

  ‘I’m fine carrying, thank you. You’d be amazed at what I can lift,’ he winked and started walking. “It has rolly wheels!?” The first thing I say to this devilishly handsome guy is “It has rolly wheels?” I quivered and trotted behind, trying to keep up with his lengthy strides. He had to be at least six foot four. My eyes were drawn to a firm rounded bottom that was begging for me to dig my nails into. I felt like I’d hit early menopause, I was so flushed and hot all of a sudden, but vaginal dryness definitely wasn’t an issue.

  ‘So, do you usually pick up guests?’ I asked.

  ‘It’s part of the service,’ he replied. He answered without looking around at me as we headed out into the cold again and towards the open air car park.

  ‘Will you bring me back?’

  ‘Yes, if you behave.’

  ‘Do you offer any other services?’ I asked, then cringed when I realised how that sounded. Blithering idiot Ellie, I scolded myself. This time I heard a deep sexy laugh.

  ‘Yes, it’s my job to make sure that you’re happy and have anything that you require.’

  ‘Anything?’ I teased.

  ‘Yes,’ he replied as he looked at me over his shoulder with a wink and a smile. Shit. I really liked this guy. He was super-hot, buff, sexy and had a sense of humour. My key weak point.

  ‘Well, if I need something how do I let you know?’

  ‘I live on the island too, and you’ll be given my landline number.’

  ‘You don’t have a mobile?’

  ‘Yes, but there’s not really a signal out there.’

  ‘So, what if I needed something in the middle of the night?’

  ‘Like what, Miss Baxter?’ he stopped and turned to look at me and I knew I’d gone red.

  ‘I don’t know, say if the water wasn’t working.’

  ‘Then yes, if you were parched and desperate, you’d ring me and I’d come and ensure the dry spell ended,’ he smiled. I gulped. Was I imagining the double entendres he was throwing my way?

  ‘So you’re kind of a handy man?’ I stammered.

  ‘I like to use my hands, yes,’ he smiled, again. I wondered if we were actually talking about maintenance, he seemed to have a way of making everything sound sexy. ‘You’re cold,’ he commented with a flick of his head towards me.

  ‘Yes, how could you tell?’

  ‘Trust me, I can tell,’ he chuckled, then strode over to a green Land Rover Defender. I looked down at myself and winced, my nipples were so stiff they were obvious under the thin green material of my blouse. I caught up with him as he closed the rear door, my case safely stowed inside. He walked around and opened the passenger door for me. ‘I’m sorry, but it’s not the easiest of cars to get in for a lady, would you like a hand?’

  ‘Please.’ I gave him my best smile as I looked up at him. He held out his left hand so I grabbed it and took a deep breath as our skin sizzled again. I stepped onto the side bar with one foot and as I went to stand up on it I gasped as he palmed my bottom with his right hand helping me get in. I sat down and he handed me the seat belt buckle and closed the door. I could still feel the impression of his hand where my skin burned through my jeans. The thought of him doing that with nothing in between our bare flesh had my breathing going a little quicker.

  ‘Are you ready?’ he asked as he fixed his seat belt and looked at me. ‘It’s a rough ride and I like to take my time.’

  ‘I’m ready,’ I nodded, this was definitely sounding like sex talk, or was I just reading into things? Was I seeing and hearing what I wanted to, just like I had with Zac? He started the engine and pulled out of the airport car park, he wasn’t wrong about a rough ride, this thing was a death trap. I may as well have been on a pogo stick for all the bouncing around I was doing.

  ‘You’re engaged,’ he observed, breaking the silence. Shit, I’d meant to take my ring off and I’d forgotten.

  ‘Sort of.’

  ‘Sort of?’

  ‘I left him on Friday and I’m taking time out to re-evaluate.’

  ‘Why did you leave?’

  ‘I came home early and found him in a three-way on our bed and apparently it wasn’t the first time.’

  ‘For a three-way?’

  ‘Cheating. Funnily enough I didn’t stick around long enough to ask for the finer details.’ Was I really talking about this to a guy I’d only just met?

  ‘Was he good to you otherwise?’

  ‘Yes, but I found out he got himself into a mess, doing drugs, seeing prostitutes and eating his way through our savings when he’d lost his job without telling me.’

  ‘And you’re still evaluating if you want to be with this arsehole?’ he asked with a slight laugh.

  ‘Excuse me, but you don’t know him, you know nothing about our situation so I think that comment is over stepping,’ I glared at him, frustrated for this to be his first impression of me and my life. He quickly looked over at me before returning his eyes to the road.

  ‘I apologise, it’s just when I see a beautiful girl like you wasting her time and emotions on an arsehole it makes my blood boil. You deserve better.’

  ‘Yes,
I do,’ I agreed with a firm voice as I turned my head and looked out of the window at the blackness surrounding us. Neither of us spoke for nearly an hour as we made our way off the main roads and down onto a track with more craters than the moon. I winced as I suddenly shot up in the air, then slammed back down on the seat.

  ‘You don’t like it rough?’ he asked with a chuckle.

  ‘Not in a Land Rover,’ I laughed as I gripped my seat trying to go with the flow of the vehicle. ‘Are we nearly there?’

  ‘Not far and you’ll soon be settled in the warm. I left a fire going for you in both the lounge and bedroom.’

  ‘The bedroom?’ I asked, surprised. I didn’t remember a fire in the mezzanine bed space.

  ‘It’s always good to be hot in the bedroom,’ he smiled with another glance at me. ‘You still look cold.’ This time I didn’t imagine his eyes flicking down to my chest. I looked down and sure enough, my nipples were still stiff. As I looked at them it was like I suddenly tuned into my body, ignoring the bumpy ride, and I felt the longing in me, the burning in them and the slickness oozing from me coating my knickers. Damn, I was so horny and the thought of getting hot with him in the bedroom was so inviting. I looked over at his side profile as he drove and reassessed my verdict of his age. The chin stubble and grey flecks in his hair made him look older than he was, I reckoned he was in his mid-thirties. I blushed as he looked over and caught me looking at him again. I stared back at the road and saw that the track was cutting its way through some tall pine trees which were starting to thin out. He slowed down and pulled into a small clearing and I could just make out water, lined with rocks and a jetty.

  ‘We’re here?’

  ‘Nearly. We need to take the boat to the island, it’ll only take a few minutes.’

  ‘What happens if the lake freezes?’

  ‘If you know the ice you can navigate your way across by foot, but I wouldn’t recommend it for a novice, it takes years of experience to really know what you’re doing.’ He unbuckled and got out of the car, leaving me wondering why everything he said oozed sex. I slid out and walked around to the back as he unloaded my case. ‘Come with me,’ he ordered. O shit, that was one RSVP I didn’t need to think twice about. The thought of my legs wrapped around those slim hips, my fingers grasping at his pert buttocks as he pounded me relentlessly in front of the fire, I was confident I could come with him very easily. I let out an involuntary groan. ‘Are you ok?’