For His Eyes Only

by Lexi Blake

  She had to catch her breath because she knew what came next. Sure enough, she felt the hard tip of a plug circle her rim.

  “I want you to feel me everywhere tonight. I want you to know that I can take care of every single inch of your body. I’m going to take what’s mine, and you won’t ever be able to forget who you belong to.” He rimmed her with the plug, the sensation sharp and ragged and oh-so sensual.

  She could never forget. No matter how hard she tried, she knew he would still be there in her head and her heart the day she died. Belonging to Nick would only work if he belonged to her, too, and she worried that a part of him would always be somewhere else.

  She forced that thought aside. All that mattered was tonight, and tonight she was his.

  “Please, Nick. Please take what’s yours. I’m yours. Every part of me.”

  He pressed the plug in, the hard tip breaching her and making her moan. He fucked her with the plug, taking her inch by delicious inch. Over and over, he worked his way in.

  Hayley forced herself to relax, to let the plug take its place deep inside.

  “Have I told you how beautiful you are?” Nick asked, his hands on her cheeks.

  He was staring at her, looking at this intimate piece of her and finding her lovely. No one else would see this part of her. Not even herself. And yet she’d been stripped bare, her soul and body laid out for him to judge, and he found her beautiful.

  She felt beautiful. For once in her life, she felt free. “You make me feel that way.”

  She felt him move, felt the soft press of lips on the small of her back. “I’ll never let you down again. Give me a moment and then I’ll worship you properly.”

  Something thudded behind her, but she held her place. Nick was moving. She heard the sounds of him washing up and kept her body perfectly still. It was an exercise in discipline that forced her to focus on the now. Patience was rewarded with attention and gratification. This was what he’d trained her to do. To wait for her pleasure, to delay it so it bloomed so much more vibrantly.

  “Let me help you up.” He was back and his hand came down, giving her balance so she could stand. “Don’t lose the plug. I wouldn’t want to have to start all over again.”

  With the spanking. He would start by spanking her and then bring in the crop and a larger plug. Sadist. This was how he kept her on the edge, focused on him and not random thoughts running through her head. She was here with him, and that was all that mattered.

  He pulled her close and she could feel the heat of his skin. He’d taken off his jacket, gotten rid of his dress shirt and tie. All she could see was the smooth, glorious muscles of his chest. She brought her hands up, unable to stand so close and not touch him. She was sure some D/s couples worked on the idea of only touching with permission, but Nick’s eyes closed in obvious pleasure as she ran her hands down his chest.

  “I love it when your hands are on me. Don’t ever stop touching me,” he growled. “I always want your touch, your skin against mine. It’s the only way I feel whole.”

  His mouth came down on hers again, taking her lips with a dominant strength that left her breathless.

  His hands were everywhere, soothing over her back and down, cupping her ass and pulling her against him. She loved the feel of him. Chest to chest. Core to core. His tongue dancing with hers.

  There was no space between them and soon he would be inside, connecting them fully, making them one.

  He eased her down on the bed, supporting her and making it so simple to lie back and allow him to have control. When she felt the soft silk of the comforter at her back, he stood over her and stared down.

  “You are so beautiful. I know I keep saying it, but I can’t help myself.”

  She didn’t want him to. She needed him. “You’re beautiful to me, too. So lovely, Nicky.”

  His hands went to the button of his slacks. “I have no idea what you see in me, but I’m done arguing. I’m done martyring myself. I do it with you and I do it with my team, but never again. You’re my family now. You and my people back in London. We can make this work.”

  The family he’d built. Stronger than blood. More resilient because it was chosen.

  If only she could trust it. No family had been stable for her. No unmoving ground beneath her feet.

  What would it feel like to completely trust someone? To know that no matter what came, she had someone who had her back, who thought of her before every other consideration.

  A husband.

  He kicked his slacks aside and walked to the end of the bed. He towered over her, his perfect body so lovely to her eyes. She could feel the hard press of the plug inside her. She could feel his gaze like a stroke to her skin.

  “Take me. Take all of me,” Hayley said, beseeching him to finish what he’d started.

  She wanted him inside her every moment they had. No matter how many I love yous they said, she knew how they ended. How they always ended, and she wasn’t going to lose a single minute with him. Not this time.

  He tossed aside the last of his clothes and she could see how much he wanted. His cock stood proud against his belly. He stroked himself. “I will, but only if you take all of me. I was born to love you, Hayley. Nothing has worked until I realized what I was meant to do. Spread yourself. Open for me.”

  She moved her feet, giving him free access to her body.

  He put a knee on the bed, joining her. He loomed over her, placing himself at her core before drawing out the condom. He stroked himself before settling it over his cock.

  She reached out for him. “Please, Nicky.”

  He nodded and covered her body with his. “I’ll never leave you again. I know I’ve made mistakes, but if you’ll have me, I’ll be yours forever. I want it all with you, Hayley. I want a life and family.”

  Tears blurred her eyes, but she couldn’t find the will to say the words. She couldn’t quite believe them. This was all they had. This moment.

  He stopped, cupping her face and wiping away her tears. “Don’t cry. I’ll prove it to you. I’ll show you. You be patient with me and I’ll be patient with you. You don’t have to believe today. Believe five years from now when I’m still by your side, when we’re building something together. Until then, I don’t need the words. I only need you to tell me I can stay.”

  She nodded, words too much for her.

  He leaned over, bringing his mouth to hers as his hips flexed and she felt him start to thrust inside.

  He kissed her as he locked their bodies together, connecting them in the sweetest way possible. Hayley wrapped her arms around him and there was nothing to do, no other worlds to worry about, no space to allow doubt to come between them. There was only Nikolai and this moment when their bodies mingled, when it felt like every inch of her was caressed and loved by him. He worshipped her with his mouth and tongue, with his hands and his cock.

  The plug made her tight, so tight. It forced her to feel every inch and movement of his cock inside her. He found a rhythm, thrusting in and rotating so he ground on her clitoris while he plunged deep. Pulling out and dragging on the plug, stimulating every inch of her.

  She held out as long as she could, desperately wanting for the moment to last. Wanting to stay here in this place and time, connected to him forever.

  Nick thrust in hard and sent her over the edge. She clutched at him while calling out his name, lost in the feeling of being one with this man.

  Nick seemed to lose control, fucking into her again and again, his body tightening, and then he fell forward, holding not an ounce of his weight off her, surrounding her with him.

  I love you. The words were right there. They were stuck in her throat and she couldn’t manage to say them. When she said them, that was when he would leave. That was when he always left.

  Nick shifted, hauling her with him. “It’s okay, Hayley. It’s all right. Tell me I can stay. That’s all I need, dushka.”

  She clung to him, emotion threatening to overwhelm her. “Stay
with me.”

  It was all she could give him for now.

  * * * *

  Nick wrapped the robe around Hayley after carefully drying her off. He kissed the top of her head and wished he had words that could fix what he’d done to her.

  It was going to take time to convince her he wouldn’t disappear, wouldn’t choose some mission over her ever again. Making love to her had been life affirming for him, but he was worried it had done nothing but confuse her.

  Still, she cuddled close to him, her arms wrapping around his waist. “I’m going to leave the hotel with a crazy water bill. That was my third shower of the day. I was out on the beach earlier and got sand everywhere.”

  He breathed her in, loving the fact that he could catch a hint of sex still clinging to her despite the thorough cleaning he’d given her. Of course, he’d needed to use his tongue on certain delicate parts of her body. And then he’d kind of shoved her lovingly against the side of the shower and made her scream again. “I know this. I watched you as you walked down the beach with Fain. I did not like the way he held your hand. It bothered me greatly, but I trust you.”

  He brought her hand up to his lips, kissing it before settling it over his heart. He trusted her implicitly. Fain, on the other hand, was a woman-stealing bastard who had gotten far less than he deserved.

  “You were watching us? Don’t try to distract me with those gorgeous puppy eyes.” Even as she said the words, her free hand was holding him close.

  He had no idea he had puppy eyes. He was fairly certain he’d been born with full-grown mutt eyes, but he would take what he could. “I have been frantic to find you. Kayla and I have been here since the day after you ran…very reasonably chose to relocate to South America.”

  He could be careful.

  Her lips curved up in the most gorgeous smile. “More revisionist history?”

  Seeing that light in her eyes made his heart soft. “If it makes you smile like that I’ll revise all of it, Professor.”

  She groaned and leaned into him. “Please tell me how you found me. And where Ezra went. We’ve only got another three hours until we need to be downtown. We’re playing in one of the smaller poker games.”

  He managed to not growl at the thought of anyone expecting her and Ezra as a couple. “I came to Brazil because of what Desiree left me in her letter.”

  Her head came up. “You read it?”

  “Finally, and it was a good thing, too, because she told me what I needed to know in that letter, though no one else caught on to it.” It was so much easier to think of Des now, to give her a place in his own personal history that didn’t cut at him the way it used to. “Desiree had been planning on leaving after we returned from the Caribbean. She knew Damon was on to her plans and she had recently uncovered intelligence she believed would bring her enough money to live on quite grandly.”

  Her face fell and she took a step back. “She said she was leaving in her letter to me, too. Are you okay? Reading that had to hurt.”

  “It’s all right. She was right to go. We weren’t good for each other. We brought out all the bad parts. But she knew exactly who I would run to. She knew who brought out the best parts of me, who made me a better man. She told me I should be with you. She told me that I needed to teach you that a house doesn’t make a home. Only love can. I know that makes me a sentimental fool, but I am. I forgot that for a long time. I forgot that the world can be so beautiful if we open our eyes and allow it in.”

  She sniffled and turned away, her shoulders moving as though she was taking a deep breath. “I don’t know that I can talk about this right now. I’m willing to stay with you but I can’t talk about the future now.”

  He moved in behind her. Patience. “All right. I will stop talking about the future, but you should understand that I love you very much in the now.” He kissed the top of her head before moving on. He wasn’t going to prompt her to say the words a second before she was willing to give them back to him. It would come. He had faith.

  Having faith felt good. Having faith filled the hole inside him, the hole he’d ached with for years.

  She reached for the comb on the vanity. “Why don’t you tell me what Desiree said in her letter about this information we’re supposed to find?”

  “Sit.” He pulled the chair out for her. Part of the decadent bathroom was a lovely silver mirrored vanity. He eased the comb from her hand. “Allow me. I love to brush my lover’s hair. I have not for years because I thought I should be more manly. I don’t have to be this way with you. I can be myself, and myself truly wants to take care of you.”

  She glanced at him in the mirror. “If you were any more manly, you might explode with testosterone. I take it Des didn’t like it.”

  He eased the comb through her hair. She’d used enough conditioner on it that the gorgeous silky stuff was already smooth. “Do you like it? That’s all that matters now. And Desiree’s letter basically allowed me to be certain of my instincts. I believe she kept a copy of whatever intelligence she had in her possession that allowed her to blackmail her victims. She would have kept it in a storage facility and she would have paid it up for many years. I believe one copy was in the belongings that were sent to you from Tokyo, though your father chose to blow those up.”

  “Or he stole it and then tried to cover his tracks,” she replied. “I can’t figure him out. One minute I’m sure he was trying to save me. The next minute I wonder why he wouldn’t have found a way to contact me. I don’t know how I feel about him.”

  Yes, he had to deal with her father as well. “He’s here.”

  Her eyes caught his in the mirror. “I know. Ezra and I are trying to get invited to an underground casino. There’s a high-stakes poker room there. I think that’s where I’ll find him, but we were told no tonight. Unfortunately, the game moves once a week and now we have to wait and try again.”

  Damn but he had bad news for her. “Your father was at the beach this afternoon. Hayley, he saw you. I don’t think you have to go. I think he’ll stay away now.”

  She paled. “Seriously? He was there and he…of course he didn’t.”

  “I’ll find him for you when this is through,” Nick replied. “I’ll make sure he gives you all the answers you need. This I promise you.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t need anything from him, but Ezra does. Dad apparently faked his own death before he could hand off intelligence about whoever sold out Ezra’s brother’s unit. I also figured Dad would know where Des had hidden whatever she hid.”

  “I have Kayla working on it. She’s looking for a storage place somewhat near where Desiree used to keep an apartment. How did Fain figure out he should go not only to Rio, but here in Ipanema?”

  “He had intelligence that this was where my father had gone. Since this isn’t a hotbed of gambling action, he couldn’t have come here for cash. He came here for whatever Des was trying to leave him through me. I figured he would try to find a game since it seems like he’s cash starved. I started asking questions and found out that there’s an illegal casino that moves around the city every Sunday night. High rollers only. My father will be at that game. Or he would have if he hadn’t seen me talking to the only man who can get a tourist in. Some spy I turned out to be.”

  He stroked her hair back. “That was Fain’s job, though I don’t blame him. He was far too busy killing the man who was about to assassinate you.”

  Her eyes went wide. “What?”

  Had that fucker not bothered to mention that she’d nearly been murdered? “You had two stalkers. I took care of one of them. Fain killed the one in the light blue jacket. He did a good job. Left him looking like he was sleeping. I don’t like to admit it, but he has some skill. I tossed mine in the rubbish bin outside the hotel.”

  She turned, her jaw hanging open. “He told me he’d helped that man.”

  “He did since I would have slit him open and played with his intestines, so yes, he does this man a great favor.”
<
br />   Hayley stood up suddenly. “Where is Ezra? I need to talk to him. He told me we were safe here, that no one had followed us.”

  Well, Nick had no intentions of making the same mistake. “Not at all. I’ve seen at least two, and contractors are like cockroaches. Where are two there are likely many more. We’ll have to be careful. As of last night, the Dallas team was tracking ten known players, and six of them were either here in Rio or on their way.”

  “But I haven’t seen anything. It’s been so quiet around us. I’ve felt perfectly safe even though I’ve been told there’s a crime wave going on. Tourists have been murdered.”

  He gave her a moment. She was a smart girl. All she had to do was connect a few dots…

  “He’s been taking them out behind my back, hasn’t he? I knew that was blood on his shirt the other night. He tried to tell me it was ketchup, but we didn’t have any on the table.”

  The idea that Fain had been spending such quiet, intimate time with Hayley made him wish he’d been rougher with the ass, but he was perfectly satisfied that she had no designs on the operative. He trusted her. “Oh, undoubtedly. If this upset you terribly, I could kill him for you. This would be my greatest honor and a true pleasure.”

  She stared at him like she’d never seen him before. It was good to know that he could surprise her. “You can’t kill Ezra.”

  “I assure you it would be an easy job right now. He’s tied up and helpless. One quick drag across his throat and the job is done.” He glanced over at the shower. It was definitely big enough. “Though we should bring him in here. Much less mess. After he bleeds out we can stuff him in a suitcase. Kayla brought one that is large enough to handle him. How many pairs of shoes does one tiny woman need? I ask her this. She threatens to murder me with her Louboutins.”

  “What?”

  He was surprised she didn’t know this. He would have to buy her a pair. She would look lovely in them. “It’s a type of shoe. Apparently because the soles are red, it is very expensive, but I swear I have seen the same shoes on Moscow strippers, though without the red. No one sees the bottoms of your shoes. Why is this important to women?”