Gangsters In Time [Part III] Veni, Vidi, Vici

by Stanimir Mirov

  Chapter IV

  It’s been several months, and everybody indulged in different activities. For Arnold and Macony, it is needless to mention. Leo’s interest in history grew exponentially, especially for the periods in which he was active. He even made a paid internet site and hired people to seek out information and artifacts for which the payment was significant. His collection grew around the clock. For him, these items had sentimental value.

  * * *

  Leo was already asleep when the phone suddenly rang. He looked at the clock, which showed 3:22 in the morning, wondering who it was that would awaken him at that time.

  “Alooo,” The Sock nervously picked up the phone.

  “Brother, jump in the car and come to the safe house!”

  “Are you crazy? Do you know what time it is?”

  “Friend, when did I ever call you so early in the morning? It’s important!”

  “Pff, stay there. I’ll come shortly!”

  Cassis got up on autopilot, put some shorts, started the car and drove off. When he arrived at the summer villa, he saw Capone nervously circling at the yard. The gangster parked in the garage and before he thought of something to say, Galfonino spoke, “I’ve found by who and when the machine was invented!””

  “And?” Asked asleep Leo.

  “Hmm, how should I put it more delicately? The same person has genetically "created" the human race thousands of years ago.”

  The Sock stretched his lips, scratched his head and lit a cigarette.

  “Are you going to announce yourself as the new Darwin? You’ll have to explain a little more...”

  “Before around fifty thousand years, alien top scientists in a distant galaxy managed to create a time machine. The catch is that this device could create black holes and destroy entire planets. So some of these scientists decided that no one should have such power and that they must destroy the machine. But what happens! Because the device was made of special metals and dark energy in a way connected with the universe, it requires a special way to be destroyed. Accordingly, evil extraterrestrials called Elohim, understood their plan and tried to stop them. But before they could do anything, one scientist repositioned the timer on the machine with coordinates that only he knew and teleported the device alone by coincidence. At his side, joined a local military warlord with several thousand soldiers. They all embarked on a spaceship and got away before the others managed to detect them. After some time, they arrived on Earth. But what happens? It turns out that the coordinates that the scientist had put were for the planet itself and not the right spot. And the planet is Earth, if you haven’t understood!”

  Leo shook his head in assent and Capone continued, “Several years passed in an unsuccessful search. Then one of the scientists involved in genetics and cloning managed to create a hybrid of alien genes and genes from Neanderthals. Thus were born modern humans. Those hybrids were used for digging and common work in order to find the machine faster. But time was passing, and the device was never found. About 3-4 thousand years BC, the Elohim suddenly left Earth, but not before establishing a secret society whose purpose was to continue the search. This organization still exists today, but their motives have probably changed. Anyway, with them is the Great book that describes how to handle the machine and how it can be destroyed.”

  “The story is quite fascinating, really! But I don’t understand where the problem is?” Inquired The Sock. “And why that couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

  “About that. While playing with the computer, without wanting to, I triggered a signal. I managed to stop it, but who knows how long we have before it’s detected by aliens, Illuminati... I’m sure you know what would happen if they find it...”

  Leo sat silently and just gasped, “I knew this thing would end badly! Do you have any idea how to fix it, Hacker?”

  “I have, but you will not like it!”

  “Hardly will be worse than the Holocaust which is about to come! Not to mention that we’re finished...”

  “The only option is to teleport back in time and find the Great book! Then we destroy the machine. What do you think?

  “You are right. I don’t like it. But we don’t have a choice, we must act!”

  “What about the others?”

  “Mac will agree quickly. Arnie will have to be fooled with some alcohol story. Mariela will come, but your wife does not know about the machine, and you’ll have to explain it to her. Good luck with that! The question is, where do we start?”

  “First thing that comes to mind is France, October 13, 1307, when the king makes a purge of the Templars. Maybe if we teleport a little earlier and save someone, we can get some info!?”

  The next day, around noon, Leo’s black Maybach parked outside the house of Arnie and Mac. They stopped at the door, and Galfonino pushed the bell twice.

  It was dead silence for nearly a minute, and Galfonino rang again. At that moment, he heard Arnold's angry cry, “Mac, if it’s Jehovah’s Witnesses again, this time shoot someone!”

  Macony nervously opened the door wearing only boxer shorts, a gun in his left hand and hair type "excited Cactus". Looked towards the gangsters and smiled, “Arnie, put some clothes on, Leo and Galfo are here!”

  There was a sudden noise of breaking glass bottle, followed by another sound resembling a fall from bed.

  “Auch, that hurts!” Arnie groaned. “Girls, get dressed and get your beautiful butts out of here in the fastest way.”

  A minute later, 6-7 young girls began to descend the stairs one after another.

  Galfo smiled, “The number grows and the years reduce, huh?”

  “I do not know what you are talking about! Ask Arnie!” Laughed Mac.

  “I’m sure.”

  After a while, Arnold showed and they all headed for the kitchen.

  “It’s been three weeks since our last meeting! I guess it’s something very important for you to be here so early in the morning!”

  Leo and the Italian looked at the clock…

  “Arnie, brother, it’s half past twelve.”

  “Exactly what I said,” then he drank a cup of Irish coffee in a single gulp. “Well, this is something else. I’m ready.”

  “I hope so, because what you are about to hear is very serious.”

  “More dangerous than the last time?”Asked dumb Mac.

  “Thousands of times.”

  “Wait then,” Arnold made himself another cup of coffee and drank it again. “Go on. I doubt you can surprise me with anything now.”

  “Hold on to that thought.”

  Leo just smiled, and Galfonino briefed them about the upcoming events.

  Macony relaxed lifelessly, hands along his body as he watched the ceiling for a moment. Arnold just looked at the empty glass, “Wow, this coffee has lost its effect!” he got up and poured himself another, this time a full glass of whiskey, and drank it. “Hmm, I guess the coffee was too much.”

  Mac finally somewhat recovered, “Really fucked up story. And right now, in the prime of my strength to give up all that. Alcohol, women, cars, houses, titles, money, technology...”

  After the last word, Arnold looked at him, “Technology? The only time you sat on a laptop was to download porn!”

  “Well, then you understand what I mean and what we are giving up! And what guarantee do we have that we will survive this situation at all? Do you even realize what you are talking about?”

  “The thing is, if we don’t act, we’ll die for sure. At least we have a chance to fix it. And who said you have to give up these things. I’m sure that they also had alcohol, women, and castles back in time. And why do you need a car? There are horses, right? Who knows? The aliens might give us a flying saucer after it’s all over!”

  “Woohoo, I like the idea. We are in,” grinned the already drunk Arnold.

  “Well then, prepare everything you think will be of use to you there. We leave tomorrow. I want you at exactly 9:00 am in the safe house.”

  Th
e two gangsters got into the car and drove off. Somewhere on the road…

  “By the way, I spoke with Mariela. She took it hard but finally agreed. What about you, when do you want us to talk to Maggie?”

  With this thought, Galfonino leaned his head back for a moment.

  “Don’t get me wrong, but if I weren’t sure what women looked like hundreds of years ago, I wouldn’t even bother.”

  “Well, you chose a 20-year-old blond woman, former Miss Australia, with, don’t misunderstand me, but with maybe the best ass on the whole island.”

  Galfonino instantly looked at him with his most severe gaze and immediately laughed, “And if she weren’t as dumb as an ass, she would be the perfect woman. But it’s worth it. When you think about it, why do I need a smart woman? I’m a child prodigy.”

  “You’relaureate. Continue to instill it in your brain, you may just believe it. Who knows, maybe we will be able to stay in our time after the end of the machine...”

  They continued with the discussions until reached downtown Sydney. Leo parked right outside the hairdresser, in which Galfonino’s wife should have been. They slowly went down from the Maybach looking like sculpted into the darkness. Dressed in black custom-made suits, sunglasses and platinum chains weighing 500 grams. People looked as if Obama appeared. Only the paparazzi was missing. Our guys smiled slightly and went inside the studio. The owner immediately came, “Hello, Mr. Capone. How can I help you?”

  “I’m looking for Mags.”

  “Fifteen minutes ago she left with Ms. Cassis for the mall. There is an exhibition of bags.”

  “I understand,” smiled Galfo. “Okay, thanks Ernesto.”

  The two buddies got into the car and headed for the local mall. The tuned Maybach slowly stopped in front of the huge building, the door opened and "Rick Ross - I'm not a Star" was distinctly heard. As if accustomed to wreaking confusion and attracting attention everywhere they go, the gangsters came out of the car, leaving the music on. Leo tossed the keys to the valet, “Keep her lit!” Smith handed him a few banknotes. “Have you seen my wife?”

  “Yes, Mr. Leo. Five minutes ago she was in line at McDonald’s!”

  “What?” The Sock growled. “And at home, she’s been making me eat some grass for more than two weeks now... They were supposedly good for our health.”

  “Ha ha ha,” laughed Capone, “then who was under a slipper?”

  Leo looked at him with his most serious face.

  “Aaa brother, I’m not the one who asks you not to eat meat!” The Italian continued to grin while entering the building.

  The two gangsters headed directly to the floor with food. On exiting the elevator, Leo noticed two suspicious types in suits but decided that paranoia was chasing him and did not pay much attention. But it was even more strange when he saw two more standing in the line at McDonald’s, just behind their wives.

  Cassis nudged Capone slightly

  “I notice, yes. There are two more on the Subway line and three others in front of KFC. Are they after us?”

  “Have you said anything on the phone recently?”

  “Me?” Capone looked innocent. “You know that I no longer speak of cocaine, trafficking, explosives, weapons, illegal gambling, contract killings, prostitution, and rockets...”

  Leo stared at him with a slightly narrowed eye, “And about time machines and aliens?”

  “Ahh, that was not on the list!”

  The Sock looked very dull, tension lips forward and sideways, and with his left hand began to massage his ear to calm down, "Usaaaa…"

  “Does it work? Or just in the movies?”

  Cassis bit his finger, “Only in the movies! The bad thing is that we are always on the wrong side of the law. Apparently, they are listening in on our phones!”

  The two continued talking until they reached the line and stood just behind the suits.

  “Think of it this way, how long has it been since you last shot at people and been involved in some action?”

  “Too much, but not enough to forget how to beat the shit out of someone who follows my wife!”

  One suit inadvertently turned, removed his sunglasses and looked Leo directly into his eyes. The Sock, in turn, removed his and looked up into the suit eyes even more viciously, although the man was two meters tall with 60 centimeters biceps.

  “Do they choose you with a contest? Remove the small and leave only the ugly?”

  “Are you talking to me?” Asked the heap evilly.

  “Do you see any uglier around?” asked with interest The Sock.

  Before the two-meter cliff could answer, Capone interrupted, “Bro if your IQ test had more points than the number of your shoes you’d understand how rare your ugliness is!”

  Leo, in turn, continued, and people around began to grin, “So, watching his buddy, by your theory, he should be a genius! Is that size 12?”

  “Did you swallow your tongues? Or am I speaking fast? If you want, I can spell it for you...” Leo started talking super slow like a moron. “A-r-e y-o-u t-h-e stupidest f-u-c-k in the mall or your buddy with the big foot and hazelnut for brain is even duller?

  The two gorillas just blinked stupidly and occasionally looked at one another. One held up a finger to his ear and pressed the earphone to hear the command distinctly.

  “Ah, I see!” Leo laughed. “You are the famous duo "The ugly and the deaf bastard"!”

  At this point, one of the large men cracked his neck from left to right.

  “You will never learn!” The Sock clenched hand and hit him in the chin with all his strength.

  The man just leaned his head in the direction of the impact and stood up again. Leo blinkedsurprised.

  “Wow, from all the stupidity, you could not even fall. Can I try again?”

  “Try, but I’m next!”

  Leo just shook his head and turned his back to him. Put on his steel box on the right hand and turned again, but this time with a smile, “Are you ready?”

  “Go!”

  The gangster stretched his hand like for a touchdown, and the heap tilted his head forward. Capone was looking aside and could not believe his eyes. The Sock hit him with such force that part of his jaw flew half a meter away. TV stations reported several months later that he woke up on New Year’s!

  The two women watched as Capone was overthrowing the other by kicking his head and just clucked with mouth. All the suits ran towards the battle. Mariela had just taken a bite of her cheeseburger when Leo pulled her by the arm and the four fled. While fleeing, his wife angrily shouted, “What did you do this time?”

  “First, swallow the meat before you cry!” The Sock angrily responded.

  The group entered the elevator.

  “I can explain the hamburgers!”

  “I’m sure, but now is not the time! If you haven’t noticed by chance, we are being chased by several institutions?”

  “Institutions?”

  “I’ll explain later, but it may be related to our conversation from yesterday!” Then he looked at Capone.

  “Okay, I’m guilty.”

  Everybody quickly jumped in the car and drove off. Several vehicles came after them.

  “We’ve got company!”

  “You think?” asked Leo.

  “Okay, now how long will this continue? I apologized three times! You made mistakes before! Do I speak about them? NO!

  “Say one?””

  “Well now I can’t think of one, but I’m sure there are some.”

  “I thought so. Call Arnie and Mac and tell them to look for a tail and to come to the safe house immediately!”

  “A secret house?” Wondered Leo’s wife. “If I smell whores, I just don’t know what will happen! Even ten institutions will not save you!”

  Capone’s eyes opened wide and he made a silly gesture with his mouth, trying to hide his laughter. The Sock looked at him, “Don’t you dare!”

  “Aloo, Mac,” spoke the Italian as far away as possible from Leo an
d burst into laughter, “grab Arnold, and be at the beach house within five minutes. And watch out for agents. They are probably tapping my phone. The law is stalking us again.”

  “Roger that!”

  “We must get rid of the tail.”

  “No problem,” turned Capone. “Honey, will you move your sweet ass sideways for a moment?”

  The ex-Miss with the intelligence of a bimonthly chicken just smiled. Galfonino pressed a button, and the back seat turned. Leo looked and saw a bazooka with a few shells below her.

  “Wow, did this come with the car? And is this my car or is it James Bond’s?”

  “Well, it was a great boredom the last couple of months!”

  “And you decided to make my car a Batmobile?”

  “Offff, is there something you don’t argue about?” Mariela visibly got angry.

  “Listen to the woman,” Capone grunted in laughter.

  “Grab the bazooka!” Cassis replied through gritted teeth.

  “Yes,” saluted Galfonino. “Honey, can you pass me, if you please, the big pipe behind you and one of those little bombs?”

  “Of course, dear,” the former Miss Australia grabbed the RPG with both hands. “If your tube was as big as this one, we would have no sex problems.”

  “Buhahhahahaha,” The Sock burst into laughter and Capone blankly stared at her.

  “First, my pipe is big enough, and second, the problem was only once. And now, will you be handing it to me or not?”

  She slowly passed it with the tip of her fingertips as a dirty kitty, and Leo asked, “Does she treat your pipe the same way?”

  “Ha-ha-ha, hilarious. Just drive…”

  Capone loaded the bazooka and shoved it from the car window, moving with 150 km / h through town. He aimed and pulled the trigger. The mini rocket went past the car and exploded into a fire hydrant three meters away. Leo looked in the rearview mirror, “Did your diopter increase? Should I give you the reading glasses?”