A Man to Call My Own

by Johanna Lindsey

  Chad wasn’t inclined to tell him, since it was bound to start a fight between them. Not that he wouldn’t welcome a fight, but he hadn’t counted on one as he hadn’t expected to see Spencer during this trip to town. And fighting when he was half-drunk and Spencer wasn’t would be rather stupid. But Spencer was going to hear about the wedding in a couple days anyway, when Red had her talk with the preacher. So there really was no reason to keep silent about it.

  “I’ll tell you what,” he offered magnanimously. “Get yourself a bottle of liquor and drink it down to this point.” He held up his own bottle to show there was only a quarter bottle of whiskey left in it. “And then I’ll consider discussing my woes with you.”

  “Woes, huh?” Spencer chuckled, visibly relaxed. “I guess that was answer enough for me. I’ll leave you to continue drowning your sorrows alone.”

  Spencer was halfway to the door when he probably heard Chad mumble, “Just as well.”

  He stopped, frowned, appeared to spend a few moments debating with himself. Then with an angry gesture, he marched back to the bar, growled at Archie, “Give me a bottle of the same swill, and if you ever tell anyone I drank some of O’Mally s inferior rotgut, I’ll run your ass out of town so fast, you won’t be able to keep up with it.”

  Chad just watched with partial interest as Spencer proceeded to guzzle down the bottle Archie tossed at him. He stopped to check it once, sighed that it was only half-empty, guzzled down some more, then set it down next to Chad’s bottle to measure it, growled that he still had an inch to go, and quickly finished off the inch.

  “Now, you son of a bitch, let’s hear it,” he snarled when he was done.

  “I’m impressed,” Chad remarked. “And you still have a voice?”

  “Do I have to beat it out of you?”

  “Seeing as how we both know that wouldn’t work, I guess it’s your lucky day that I’ll hold up my end of the bargain—or not so lucky. You’re not going to like what’s happened, any more than I do, but the whole town doesn’t need to hear about it, so let’s take it outside.”

  Archie sighed, clearly disappointed that he was going to be excluded, but went back to reading his novel as they left O’Mallys. Chad moved out into the middle of the street. He didn’t want any eavesdropping in case he ended up saying more than he should due to the liquor.

  Spencer grabbed his arm impatiently. “That’s far enough. Now tell me.”

  Chad nodded. “I don’t know if you know about the inheritance Amanda can’t get her hands on until she marries.”

  “I believe it was mentioned.”

  “Well, she wasn’t willing to wait for it, at least not long enough to enjoy a normal courtship.”

  “If you tell me she asked you to marry her, I think I’ll kill you.”

  “No, she didn’t ask.”

  “Damn lucky for you she didn’t.”

  “She tricked me into making love to her, and that pretty much settled the matter in Red’s mind.”

  It was the liquor that delayed Spencer’s reaction. For all of five seconds he just stared, which gave Chad enough time to get out of the way of the first swing. But Spencer was too enraged to take a chance that he might miss again and tackled Chad to the ground. In a prone position, the liquor caught up with Chad real quick, and his head began to spin.

  “Watch it, before I puke all over you,” he managed to get out.

  Spencer leapt off him, and snarled, “I’m calling you out. High noon.”

  “I’ll be sleeping at noon, and don’t be an ass,” Chad said as he carefully got back to his feet. “Would I have been ‘drowning my sorrows’ as you put it, if I wanted her? I don’t. I told you she tricked me.”

  “Liar! How could you not want her?”

  “Maybe because I’ve been around her a lot more’n you have and have seen her at her worst. She’s beautiful, yes, but that doesn’t make up for the rest. Cut out her tongue, and she might be bearable.”

  “That isn’t funny.”

  “Wasn’t meant to be,” Chad replied. “She’s a spoiled brat, Spencer, seriously spoiled. And you’re more’n welcome to her, if you can manage to get her to marry you before I get dragged to the altar.”

  Spencer stopped snarling for a moment, and demanded, “You mean it?”

  Chad nodded, then wished he hadn’t. The spinning wasn’t quite over.

  “Red’s going to talk to the preacher this weekend, either at my pa’s barbecue on Saturday, or before she returns to the ranch the next day,” he warned. “So that doesn’t give you much time. Yes, I mean it. You’d actually have my eternal gratitude if you can pull it off.”

  Chapter 34

  MARIAN AWOKE GROGGY-EYED AND Still fully dressed, right down to her shoes. She supposed she’d gotten some sleep, but probably not much. She hadn’t glanced at the clock before she’d shoved her latest painting under the bed, then curled up in a ball on top of the covers.

  She’d never painted by lamplight before, but then she’d never painted with tears in her eyes before either. She wasn’t happy with the result, Chad, lying on a pile of hay, unbuttoning his shirt, his expression so sensual, there was no doubt what was on his mind—or what he was about to do.

  It was an image she would never forget, even if she hadn’t put it on canvas. The details were exact, right down to the brown stain on one of his sleeves and the small half-moon scar above his navel. It looked so much like him, she couldn’t look at it for long without getting butterflies in her belly. But it wasn’t a painting she could ever share with anyone, so it would stay under the bed.

  She should destroy it, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that. She would have to roll it up after it dried completely and hide it away where Rita and Ella Mae wouldn’t find it when they cleaned.

  She was still sitting on the bed thinking about it when her door opened without warning. Amanda was the only one who ever barged in on her without knocking, and sure enough, her sister stood there, leaning against the doorframe. She was only half-dressed again, though today with a skirt and just her lacy white camisole. She still carried a fan, though she wasn’t using it at the moment.

  As expected, she was smiling smugly. Actually, because it contained not only triumph and laughter, but hidden knowledge as well, her smile was much more smug than usual.

  “What do you want, Mandy?”

  “Oh, nothing in particular,” Amanda replied, twirling the fan about by its wrist tie.

  “Then close the door on your way out, thank you.”

  “What? No congratulations? You are going to come to the wedding, aren’t you?”

  Amanda was all but laughing. Marian wondered how her sister managed to restrain herself. Probably because she wanted to lead up to something she’d find even more humorous.

  Since Marian was dressed and the bed was made up, with just a wrinkle or two on the cover, Amanda wouldn’t guess she’d only just awakened, which would have been proof she’d spent a miserable night. Suspecting that Amanda was out for more blood brought her wide-awake though. She decided to put a dent in her sisters gloating before it went into full steam.

  “I wouldn’t miss your wedding, Mandy. I’ve only been waiting several years for you to get around to having one, so I can get about the business of leading a normal life myself—with you out of it.”

  “You promise not to cry too loudly when I walk down the aisle to meet—him?”

  “Well, considering he’s all but got a shotgun trained to the back of his head, tears would probably be inappropriate. Not that you can really consider someone to be forced into doing something if he would have gotten around to doing it on his own anyway. Merely a difference in timing. So yes, I think I can restrain myself.”

  It was the casual tone Marian had managed to muster that brought the twist of annoyance to Amanda’s lips. “Don’t try to pretend you don’t care.”

  “Now there’s another interesting difference in timing. Yesterday morning, I probably would have cared. This morning,
no, I’m afraid not.”

  “Liar! You know you want him. You would never have become a stable trollop otherwise.”

  Amanda’s crudeness managed to draw a blush. “Look who’s talking, you of the half dozen or more sordid conquests. But at least you won’t have to put any fake blood on the sheets now, since your husband has actually been fooled into thinking he was the first to touch you. Bravo, sister, that was rather brilliant, even for you.”

  The blush changed sides. “That’s not why I did it. As if I’d care what my husband thinks,” Amanda scoffed indignantly. “The man I marry will be grateful I marry him, virgin or not.”

  “A moot point, since the him has already been decided,” Marian said.

  “Yes, it has, hasn’t it.”

  Amanda was back to smirking. This was such a major triumph for her, not acquiring a husband quickly, without having to waste time on courtship, but acquiring the husband that Marian had wanted for herself. This was “getting even” in the grandest way, for every little slight, resentment, and jealousy she held against Marian.

  She’d probably even go through with it, since it would get her what she wanted. And if Chad couldn’t be cajoled or nagged into taking her home, she’d find a way to get there on her own. He might come after her. Actually, he probably would, since he did want her after all. But after a half dozen or so times of being put to the bother of chasing her down, he’d give up and she’d have exactly what she was ultimately after—her inheritance and no one to answer to.

  Marian left the bed, moved over to the door to grasp the handle, an indication that she was going to close it whether Amanda stood in the way or not. Unfortunately, Amanda quickly got out of the way, by stepping inside the room rather than out in the hallway.

  “Take your gloating elsewhere, Mandy, I’m really not interested.”

  Amanda began fanning herself, despite a nice breeze coming in through the open windows, and strolled lazily about the room. “I’m curious,” she said, completely ignoring the offer to leave. “Why didn’t you speak up last night with the truth? Too noble to force him to the altar yourself?”

  “No, because I have a little more respect for myself than you do, to want—”

  “I have the utmost respect for myself,” Amanda cut in. “It’s you who doesn’t—or you wouldn’t make yourself look like an ugly old maid.”

  The blush was back, but it was an angry one this time. “You know what, Mandy, you’re absolutely right,” Marian agreed with her.

  She yanked off her spectacles, held them up in front of her with both hands, and snapped them in two, then tossed them aside. She removed the hairpins while she was at it and shook her hair loose.

  Amanda hadn’t expected her goading to draw such results. She stood there a little in shock for a moment, staring at her own reflection. “You know you won’t reveal yourself completely,” she said hesitantly, a bit hopefully. “You’ve worn that disguise too long.”

  “Too long is right. And thanks for reminding me that I don’t need it anymore. You’ve got your husband lined up. I think it’s pretty safe for me to start looking for one now, wouldn’t you say?”

  “No, I wouldn’t,” Amanda huffed. “And don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to. You’re going to try to win him back, but it won’t work, not unless you tell him the truth—and why the hell didn’t you?”

  “Because he wouldn’t have believed me. You heard him there in the stable. He thought it was you all along. He wanted it to be you. And when he’s done being annoyed over the ‘supposed’ deception, he’ll be thrilled that he’s getting the woman he’s wanted from the start.”

  “Yes, he will, won’t he,” Amanda purred, letting her conceit surface again. “He won’t even mind that I lied. He’ll probably be glad that I did—if he ever finds out. It’s too bad you wanted him, too.”

  “Yes, it is, but at least I realized my mistake before it’s too late. I can actually thank you for getting me out of that mess. Believe me, I never thought I’d say that.”

  Amanda blinked, frowned, then demanded, “What are you talking about now? What mess?”

  “The one created by my mistake. I was foolish enough to think he might like me. I didn’t know he was sure it was you he was making love to. If you hadn’t lied about it, I would have been stuck with him.”

  “Dammit, Mari, when did you get the idea that I was stupid? I know what you’re doing, but it won’t work. You liked him enough to let him have you there in the stable. Don’t try to pretend you don’t now.”

  “I liked him, yes, but I wouldn’t have let him ‘have’ me, as you put it, if I hadn’t gotten carried away by my first taste of passion. I would have wanted to be sure of his feelings first, and now that I am sure of them, I wouldn’t marry him even if for some reason you don’t.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I could care less.”

  Amanda’s lips thinned, a sign that she was no longer sure of her evaluation. Marian tossed in the clincher.

  “You know, Mandy, I hate to say it, but in this we’re very much alike.”

  Amanda snorted. “Like hell we are.”

  “I know, I find it hard to believe, too.” Marian grinned. “But what you’re overlooking is that I’m not willing to be any man’s second choice any more than you are. Now will you get out? I have my entire wardrobe to go through, to see if anything is salvageable for the ‘new’ me. Or maybe you wouldn’t mind lending me a few of your dresses until I can find a seamstress in town? You haven’t exactly been wearing your clothes lately, so I’m sure you won’t miss them!”

  Chapter 35

  AMANDA SLAMMED THE DOOR as she departed. Marian was surprised to find that she felt like smiling. If she’d learned anything from her sister over the years, it was how to put on a good performance, and she’d just given one worthy of a professional. But the question was, had it worked? Not that it would really change anything, other than to save her from more of Amanda’s gloating.

  Amanda still wanted a husband, the sooner the better in her mind. Marian had only removed one of the reasons for her to accept Chad in that role. The other reasons still applied, that he was willing, that Kathleen approved of him, that the wedding would take place soon. If no one else caught her eye or interest before the date Kathleen set for the wedding, then Amanda would marry him.

  Marian picked up her broken spectacles from the floor. She stared at them for a long moment. She could replace them. She did have another pair. But what was the point? It wasn’t as if they were back home in Haverhill, where men would be calling on Amanda every day, and some of them might prefer her instead.

  She really did need a new wardrobe though. She’d chosen the drab colors not because she favored them, but because they furthered her “invisibility.” But she was done with that charade. And if Amanda felt threatened by having competition again—too bad.

  She removed the dress she’d slept in, found a white blouse that was at least neutral in color. As for a skirt—she noticed the riding skirt she’d borrowed from her aunt, the one she’d been wearing yesterday morning...

  She wasn’t going to cry again. She was going to have to stop mourning her loss eventually, and she might as well start now.

  She still had to learn how to ride, but she wasn’t about to let him finish the lesson for her. Besides, she at least knew the basics now of getting a horse ready to ride, which had probably been the hardest part. How difficult could getting on a horse and staying on it be, when just about everyone in this part of the country rode one? She was determined to teach herself the rest.

  She donned the riding skirt and headed out of her room. Ella Mae picked that moment to show up, and with only a brief knock first, the maid stuck her head around the door.

  “Hell yes!” she said, quickly grasping that the change in Marian’s appearance was deliberate. “ ‘Bout damn time.”

  Marian managed not to blush. “All my reasons to hide are gone.”

  “I heard
,” Ella Mae said, her voice tinged with disgust. “She couldn’t stop crowing about it last night when I collected her clothes for washing.” And then hesitantly, “Want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  “Didn’t think so. When you feel like it though, you know where to find me. Want me to fix up your hair, or are you just going to wear it wild like that?”

  “I feel like wearing it wild, but I suppose that would be going a bit too far in the opposite direction.”

  “It will take a little cutting on the bangs,” Ella Mae warned. “Not much. You’ll still be able to pin them back like she does when needed.”

  Marian nodded. “Just don’t give me exactly the style that she prefers. All those ringlets are much too frilly for my tastes.”

  It didn’t take Ella Mae long. She was very good at creating hairstyles that were not necessarily in high fashion, but very becoming to the individual. And she compromised by not pinning Marian’s long locks up again but tying them back with a bright blue ribbon.

  As for the bangs, she only needed to snip a few, since they were already trained to lean toward the sides. The result was a little fluff, a few curls near her temples, and a whole new look.

  “I’d go pay her a visit now to show off,” Ella Mae suggested. “But that’s just me. You’re too nice to play her game.”

  Marian grinned. The two of them never needed to clarify who she was.

  “She’s not going anywhere, and besides, she already knows I’m done with hiding. Right now, I have an appointment with a horse.”

  She expected the stable to be empty again. The cowboy who tended to the horses might be back to work, but if he was still sick, he should be spending most of the day resting. But she still hadn’t glanced at a clock before heading there, so she wasn’t sure what time of the day it was. Somewhere around noon, to go by the position of the sun.

  She saw that Kathleen had ridden in for lunch, or for the day. She had put her horse in a stall, an indication she wouldn’t be using him again. She was just closing it when she heard Marian approaching and glanced her way.