Revealed

by A B Turner

  “So what do you think of this place?” Skylar asked cautiously,

  “I love it,” I replied honestly, loving the feeling of the warm sun on my face, but more about being with him. He smiled again and we carried on walking, side by side, but I felt him move a little closer to me with each step.

  “I’m really glad I came,” I said quietly, “I almost chickened out, you know?”

  Skylar stopped walking and turned to me,

  “Really? Why?”

  I shrugged,

  “I don’t know, I wasn’t sure you’d like me once we met, that maybe we only had a connection over the phone..stuff like that..”

  His large eyes seemed to be looking directly into my soul, I had never known anyone, who made me feel they could see everything I was feeling..there was no hiding place from him.

  “How could I not like you? What the fuck? If anyone was going to be the disaster, it was me.”

  Despite myself, I couldn’t help but laugh,

  “We’re hopeless, aren’t we?”

  His concerned expression instantly changed into a broad smile,

  “Yeah we are, but hey, as long as we don’t mind, who gives a fuck?”

  We both laughed and started walking again, we had barely taken a few steps, when I felt his hand slip into my jacket pocket and grasp my hand. I wasn’t really sure why, but we both seemed to relax and, at last, the conversation flowed as easily as it had always done over the phone and online. We talked about anything and everything, it was as if we had known each other for years and was everything I had wanted. I loved his directness, the way he allowed every feeling to run free within him, his honesty and how, even though he admitted to insecurities about just about everything, he clearly loved life and had no hesitation in enjoying it all.

  When I said as much, he laughed,

  “That’s not always such a good idea, you know? It gets you into trouble.”

  “Believe me, I know,” I replied laughing, I felt his hand tighten around mine, as we walked down a narrower path. When we reached the end, there was the lake he had mentioned, with the sun glinting on the rippling surface, being surrounded by the tall trees on every side, it felt like a hidden place that we had discovered. There was a small wooden bench at the water’s edge and we sat down,

  “It’s such a lovely place,” I said quietly, Skylar had slipped his hand out of my pocket and it now rested on my leg,

  “I’m glad you like it, I thought you might want to go more exciting, I don’t know, like a bar or something.”

  I turned to look at him, his long fringe was masking one eye, but I could see, there was still some uncertainty in his expression.

  “You couldn’t have picked a better place.”

  He smiled and we looked back out across the lake, I had wanted to kiss him, but, I was still feeling a bit unsure myself and I didn’t want to do anything to make either of us feel more uncomfortable. After walking the full way around the lake, we returned to the hotel but not before I had made Skylar promise, we could go back there again. As soon as we were back in the room, the mix of the fresh air, exercise and the residual jet lag seemed to hit me all at once and, without really thinking, I slipped out of my clothes and got under the covers.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I said sleepily, “I just don’t have any energy.”

  He smiled gently,

  “It’s okay, you get some sleep, sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere.”

  When I awoke, the room was dark, for a moment, I couldn’t exactly remember where I was, I still felt slightly disorientated when I felt Skylar move next to me. I could see he was sleeping, there was a slight smile on his face and I couldn’t help but hope, he was dreaming of me. His arm was draped over me, I could just make out the lines of a tattoo on his shoulder. I shifted slightly to get a better look, but when he felt me move, his eyes opened slowly,

  “Hello gorgeous,” he said, “How’s my girl?”

  “I’m good, thank you, I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

  He grinned,

  “That’s okay, you looked so peaceful when you were sleeping, you must have been exhausted.”

  “I was, but I feel so much better now.”

  “Oh right, that’s good, how much better?” he said quizzically.

  “Oh a whole lot better,” I answered softly.

  I looked intently at him, I could feel the unmistakable crackle of sexual tension between us, and from his expression, it was clear he was feeling the same. He pulled me closer and we kissed, at first our lips barely seemed to touch, but as our bodies began to move with each other, it became more intense. His mouth eagerly explored mine, my hands slipped over his warm skin, there was a kind of softness under the strength which made it impossible not to touch more. His hands caressed my back, every touch felt like a tiny electric shock flew through my skin. He moved on to me, gently opening my thighs so I could feel his body against mine. We kissed again, but with more urgency, I wrapped my legs around his body as he started to move with me. There seemed to be no part of me, that wasn’t touching him, every finger, every inch of skin was melting into his and waves of pleasure began to course through me. I arched up, I wanted to feel everything, I wanted all of him and I wanted to give all of me. We rolled over again until I was on top of him, I looked down at him, he looked so incredible, I could barely breathe. I felt his hands slide down to my hips and pull me even closer, we were both so close to losing the last hint of control. I didn’t want to stop, I pushed harder and harder, my hands were all over his body and I could feel him exploring every part of me. Suddenly, without warning, I could feel I was going to explode all over him, I couldn’t stop, I didn’t want too…I held him even felt closer, my heart racing, my lungs struggling to breathe, it was frightening and beautiful, all at the same time. As I came, I felt him deep inside me, he moaned softly,

  “Oh fuck, it’s too much.”

  I felt his whole body tense and then every part of him seemed to release at once, with one last movement, he came and we collapsed on each other. I could feel beads of sweat trickling down my spine, I gulped in air as if I had been drowning, I wanted to say something, but there were no words. So we just lay together, half-wrapped in the tangled sheets, both unwilling to move. I felt his hand stroke my bare shoulder,

  “You’re getting cold,” he murmured and lifted the sheets over me until we were both covered again. After several minutes, my heart had seemed to slow down and I sat up slightly, resting my head on my hand so I could look at him.

  “You really are something,” I began, “What you make me feel..I can’t even begin to describe..even when we would talk on the phone, it was powerful but this ? This is…so much more.”

  He looked up at me,

  “Do you mean that? Really?”

  For all his strength, he looked vulnerable, he wanted, no he needed the truth,

  “Because I have heard so much bullshit in my life..”

  I touched his lips with my finger,

  “No bullshit, Sky.. you can feel what I feel for you, that’s all I want..for you to know everything and never doubt it.”

  He smiled and then moved on to me,

  “Show me, Carrie, show me everything.”

  Our bodies just seemed to fit with each other, every movement was instinctive, there were no premediated actions, nothing we knew would ‘work’, it was pure emotion being expressed with every touch. Despite everything I had ever known before sexually, this was completely different and it felt as if Skylar was feeling the same way. As I laid in his arms, still feeling the beautiful afterglow of being with him, it was like we were the only two people in the world. In the silence, I tried to compare this experience with my time with Vanessa, or Tom..or anyone else who had meant anything to me. Of course, they had made me feel too, certainly Vanessa had brought an intensity I had never thought possible. But with Skylar? I couldn’t find the words but, perhaps, it was simply, we were right together. I looked up at him, he too
seemed lost in thought,

  “Are you alright?” I asked softly, he nodded and held me tighter to his body.

  “It’s funny, isn’t it? I thought I had seen and done everything, I had no idea it could be like this.”

  It sounded as if he was talking to himself, so I said nothing, hoping he would say more.

  “I wasn’t looking for a relationship at all,” he continued, “I was so done with all of it, I had my barriers up and that’s where they were staying..and then this English girl comes along and just waltzes past all my defences, how did you do that?”

  I smiled,

  “I don’t like being told what to do.”

  He grinned,

  “Neither do I,” he answered, I felt him shift position, as he did so, the smile faded and his face seemed far more serious,

  “I’ve done things, Carrie, in the past, that I am not proud of..I guess because of that, I didn’t think being like this..like we are now…was ever going to happen for me, this was for other people..” his voice trailed away and there was so much sadness behind his words. I moved on to him, touched his cheek, making him face me,

  “We’ve all done things, Skylar, but that was then, I don’t believe anyone should be punished their whole lives for a few mistakes. All I am sure about, is there is nowhere else I would rather be, than here with you, it’s that simple and that beautiful.”

  He didn’t answer, I felt his hand slip around my head and he pulled me closer, we slowly kissed and every nerve in my body seemed to come alive at that moment. It felt as if I couldn’t touch him enough, feel his body too often or give him every part of me. I could hold nothing back from him. Despite everything, despite all the common sense warnings I had tried to give myself about not falling for him, for holding something back, for remembering the value of self-preservation – they faded into nothing. If it was going to come down to a heart versus head decision, the heart had already won and the only choice left for the head, was to go with it.

  Over the next few days, Skylar showed me some of his favourite places in Melbourne, he was now obviously far more at ease, his enthusiasm for even every day activities was infectious and our evenings were spent, wrapped in each other. Late one night at the hotel, we ordered pizza and greedily stuffed the delicious slices down accompanied by generous measures of Jack Daniels. When there was one slice left, Sky indicated to me,

  “That’s yours.”

  I rubbed my now-distended stomach,

  “I don’t think I could eat another mouthful.”

  He laughed,

  “Come on Carrie, you know what I always say, go hard or go home.”

  I picked up the offending slice, nibbled the very end, but I knew it was a bite too far and tossed it back into the box, admitting defeat.

  “Seriously?” Sky queried, “You’re really that done?”

  I nodded and collapsed back on the bed,

  “I cannot face putting anything else in my mouth,” I groaned.

  He laughed,

  “Perhaps you’ll change your mind later..”

  I looked up at him, his face glowed with a combination of mischief and glorious innuendo,

  “I shouldn’t be at all surprised,” I replied.

  Sky poured us both another drink and moved next to me, his head resting on his arm,

  “I wish you could stay longer, time has gone too fast.”

  “It has, I hate that I have to go back, but..I have too,” I added sadly. We both drank again, as hard as it had been to come, I think we both realized, it was going to be even harder to leave. It was too sad a thought for me, so after carefully placing my now-empty glass on the bedside table, I kissed him,

  “I want you so much, Sky,” I whispered, I kissed him again and then slowly moved down his body, I wanted to feel every inch of him and no thought was going to get in my way.I could hear him breathing harder. Now my whole mouth was exploring him, I felt him push against me, he wanted more. Suddenly his hand was in my hair, he pulled me across slightly,

  “There,” he whispered, her voice little more than a rasp, as soon as my tongue touched him, he shook,

  “Oh fuck baby,” he moaned. I could feel his whole body moving, arching, so he could feel more of me. My body felt tense, I knew, at any moment, I was going to cum, with one deft move, he had lifted me until his mouth was buried in me too. We ate each other as if we had been starved, writhing over each other, losing complete control, both knowing we wanted to share every part of ourselves with the other. As we climaxed, I heard myself scream out, as that felt like the only way to release all that I was feeling at that moment. I couldn’t breathe, my heart was racing and every skin cell felt as if a thousand volts of electricity was shooting through me. We lay together in this breathes silence, neither being able or even willing to move. After almost an hour, we finally slipped under the covers and slept, still wrapped in each other. The following morning signaled my last day in Australia, we went out for lunch then returned to the hotel to collect my suitcase. By the time we got back to the room, the bed had been made and there was no obvious trace left of what we had shared over the past few nights. But it didn’t matter, my body remembered everything and I had absolutely no desire to try and forget. We drove to the airport, with only the sound of the radio, the atmosphere in the car was nothing but sadness and even the brightest song could do little to lift the mood. As we were early, Skylar pulled into a carpark, sighed heavily and switched off the engine. I looked at the clock, there was so little time left and it felt there was so much I wanted to say to him. There was a side of me, that was worried about sounding stupid or foolish, but, what did it mater now? I might not have the chance to be with him again and I knew, more than that, I was absolutely sure, I would regret not saying anything. So I rested my hands on my lap, took a deep breath and began,

  “Skylar, this time with you has been so much more than I had even guessed it could be, I knew I liked you before I got here, but actually being with you? That’s been amazing.”

  I paused and looked at him, his eyes seemed fixed, looking straight ahead, but despite this, I carried on,

  “I came here wanting to know if everything I had said to you online was true, I know it was now, I am so in love with you, you have no idea how much.”

  I could feel the first sting of tears in my eyes, I cleared my throat in an attempt to delay the inevitable,

  “I don’t know if this can work out between us, all I know, is how I am feeling right now and I cannot get on that plane, without you being sure of me and believing me.”

  I paused again, Skylar still looked ahead, but now I could see he was maybe trying to fight back deep emotions, as his mouth was tightly clamped,

  “It doesn’t matter if you can’t say anything now,” I continued, “I just needed you to know.”

  Skylar nodded, as if to himself, then turned to face me, his eyes filled with so much,

  “You’re better with words than I am but this time with you, I don’t know how the fuck to say it, but don’t go, thinking it’s meant nothing, because that’s bullshit..it’s meant everything.”

  We looked at each other, I wanted to hold him, kiss him, do something, anything, but I couldn’t move because I knew, I would never be able to get on the plane if I did.

  Skylar sniffed and wiped his eye,

  “We’d better go,” he said quietly.

  By the time we reached the terminal entrance, we had both agreed he wouldn’t come in with me, it would make a difficult moment almost impossible. So we just got out of the car, Skylar passed me my suitcase and we just stood there, face to face, both unsure of what to do. Finally we hugged quickly, I promised to call him when I got back to the UK and I started to walk away. Before I reached the doors, I heard a noise behind me, I quickly turned and there he was,

  “What are you doing?” I asked, still trying to keep some kind of grip on my emotions and failing, he pulled me close,

  “I couldn’t let you go like that,” he whispe
red, his arms encircling me so tightly I could barely breathe. When we parted, his eyes seemed even bigger and full of tears,

  “Just fucking come back, Carrie.”

  Before I could reply, he turned and walked quickly away, it was all I could do, to stop myself running after him, so I stood rooted to the spot. Tears pouring down my face, I knew people were looking at me, but I didn’t care, it was asking too much, to expect me just to leave. An elderly lady touched my arm,

  “Are you okay luv?” she asked kindly, her pale blue eyes looking up into mine, I couldn’t speak so I just shook my head. She sighed heavily,

  “It’s hard saying goodbye, but it doesn’t have to be forever, don’t forget that.”