Once An Alien

by Robin Martin

  ‘Oh blah, blah, blah. You do go on, Orion. And you worry too much. If anybody really does think we’re aliens, I’ll just wipe their mind of that memory. Archimedes did it once with Zoe, remember? And I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just having fun. Something you could do with a little more. I’m only here for a little while. I’m not stupid. I don’t want to be human, but I do want to be an organic for a little while. You know something? I’ve heard music through my hosts, but I’d never really experienced it. I’d seen dancing, but I never felt what it was like to move to its rhythms, with the adrenaline coursing through my veins as the music pumps. I’d never tasted food, drunk wine, or kissed a boy until now. I’m alive, Orion, and so are you.’ She put her foot, which had been resting on the tree trunk, back down on the ground and took a step closer to me. ‘We have such an opportunity here. We have the best of both worlds. We can enjoy the pleasures of being an organic, but we also have the powers of our race. We can have the time of our lives here, knowing we won’t die and we can return to the cerebral existence for a little while more. After all, we came to this planet to learn about it. What better way than to experience it first-hand?’ She looked at me, eyes shining and mouth curved into a smile.

  ‘You sound like me when I was trying to persuade my supervisor to let me remain human, but there’s a difference. Having the senses is intoxicating, but there’s more to being human than that. It’s the wisdom that comes from knowing you are mortal, that there are consequences for what you do, that your actions affect people. It’s also caring about people. All you’ve done since you’ve been here is use people. Where is Ms Butterfield tonight? I’m sure she wouldn’t have wanted this.’ I spread my hand in the direction of the house where the music inside was still pumping.

  She shrugged. ‘She’s gone away for the weekend to visit her sister. I told her I’d be okay on my own.’

  ‘And I wonder where that idea came from?’

  ‘I might have suggested it, but so what? We have a mutually beneficial relationship. She gets awesome company and a few tips on how to manage her superannuation so that she’ll have more income to retire on, and I get room and board. I’d call that a win-win situation.’

  ‘I’d call it a misuse of your powers to manipulate people. If her mind wasn’t being controlled by you, this situation would never have happened. And what about this stupid power struggle with Jas? Jas doesn’t have a chance, and you know it. You’ve used her. You’ve even used Chad Everett, though I don’t have much sympathy there. In fact, you’ve used everyone in that house.’

  ‘How? They are here of their own free will. Everyone loves a party. I’m actually giving them the time of their lives.’

  I shook my head. ‘If something goes wrong, if the police are called because of the noise and they come and find underage drinking here or worse, it’s those kids who will pay the price, not you. You’re using them for a good time, and if something goes wrong, you’ll be out of here like a flash.’

  She put her hands on her hips and leaned in closely. ‘Nothing is going to go wrong. If someone was stupid enough to call the police, do you think I couldn’t persuade them there was nothing going on as easily as I persuaded Ms Butterfield to go away for the weekend? Piece of cake. As I said, you worry too much, old man.’

  ‘You need to go back to the mothercloud while you still can. If you stay much longer, you won’t be able to go back. That’s what happened to me. And then, you’ll realise being human is not as much fun as you thought it was.’

  ‘They gave you a choice, though, didn’t they? As a matter of fact, they bent over backwards to help you sort yourself out. Do you think they won’t do the same for me? You talk about humans so much, but you’ve forgotten about our people and the loyalty we owe each other. You gave all that up. I wouldn’t make that same mistake. You aren’t human, Orion, no matter how much you pretend.’

  I shook my head, feeling exasperated.

  She put her hand up. ‘Here, put your hand against mine.’

  Not sure what she was up to, but curious all the same, I slowly raised my hand to hers so that our palms and fingers were touching. I felt a jolt of energy surge through my body, and suddenly I could feel every cell in my body light up. Our hands formed a bridge that connected not just the energy of our bodies, but the energy of our beings. Light radiated from every part of us, and I felt my consciousness lift from my body and rise into the dark night sky. And Pandora was with me. We rose until we were above our bodies, above the house, the street, the city lights. Around us was the dark sky, punctuated by the stars above that seemed less distant than the world of humans below.

  Do you remember the mountains of Xana at home and how they glowed under the moons at night? Remember the roar of the waterfalls that tumbled over their cliffs.

  Her voice was a whisper in my mind. Suddenly the vision of their distant majesty came to me. They were an iconic symbol of our homeland. Yes, they were beautiful.

  And the Lucian sea? How it glimmered in the bright light of our life-giving star? The water was always so warm against our skin, and the sea creatures that swam with us were so unafraid. We were one with the animals there on our planet. We swam, ran, and played with them as children. Do you remember?

  It came back to me how free my childhood had been and how beautiful my planet was. I remember.

  And the ones that gave you life? How they sacrificed being with you so that you could be something greater, something more wonderful than just an organic on our world. They let you go into the space program; they let you die to them so that you could live a better life. Do you remember, Orion?

  Sadness infused my being, and I felt the tears on the cheek of my body below. Yes

  You can’t deny who you are. It’s in you. Feel the power between us. That’s the power of our race. You know it is a stronger tie than the one you have with these humans. And, Orion, you are only an alien on this planet. When you are with us on the mothercloud, it’s the humans who are aliens.

  Her words hit me with force, and I felt their truth. For a moment or an eon, I wasn’t sure which, I felt the completeness of my identity and the connection with one of my own. Rainbows of light and energy surrounded me, and I heard the echoes of space from an infinity of time. I felt the multitude of beings from our mothercloud and the stream of pure thought and intelligence flow within and without my consciousness. It was joyful. It was noble. And it would always be part of me.

  Then, like the softest whisper, I felt something else. But it was calling me back. I could let it go or I could listen to it. For an infinitesimal moment, I was uncertain. And then, I knew it was a call I couldn’t ignore. I was alien, but something more too. I could no longer be one or the other; I was both. I moved my hand away from Pandora’s, and my universe shrank.

  I was standing on a Brisbane street on a cool autumn night, and in front of me was a teenage girl, looking like any other. Our connection was severed, and she too had shrunk back into her human form.

  For a moment we just stood there looking at each other, earth bound again.

  Words seemed heavy, unnecessary things, but I had to say them. ‘Thank you, Pandora. I needed reminding of who I am. I am still an alien here. I realise that now. But I am also human. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I don’t regret it.’

  She shook her head sadly. ‘I don’t understand you. How can you give all that up?’

  I shrugged. How could I explain it to her, when I could hardly explain it to myself? So, I said, ‘You choose to remain an alien. That’s your right. But it isn’t your right to come here and mess with these humans. They aren’t your pets, and this is not your playground. You need to return to the mothercloud and return to your mission. That is your destiny, and this is mine.’

  ‘No, it isn’t. So, you have a thing for this human chick. What if she meets someone else? I can’t tell you how many girlfriends and wives my bikie host had. What if she decides she doesn’t want to be with a 4000-year-old alien? You can’t
say it hasn’t crossed your mind. Are you going to give up everything you’ve worked for and believed in for some girl you might only spend a few human years with? And think about this. What if you could go back? You could still offer so much to our space program. Maybe being human isn’t your destiny, and maybe choosing it is selfish. You’re the one putting yourself before our cause, not me.’

  Despite all her wildness, Pandora’s questions unsettled me. I didn’t want to go back. I wanted to be with Zoe. But I realised at the same time, I missed my alien life and being with my own kind. And not only that, the question that always had haunted me remained. Was I being fair to Zoe? Added to that was the most disturbing question of all. Had I betrayed our people and our cause by choosing to be human?

  Pandora looked at me and said, ‘Don’t lie to yourself, Rion. And, especially, don’t lie to me.’ She was angry with me.

  She moved away. ‘And, since you’re so concerned about these humans, take Kerri home. She’s had more than enough tonight, and she might need someone to look after her.’

  With a characteristic toss of her head, she turned to walk back towards the small house that was pulsating with music and the sounds of laughter.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I went back to where Kerri was sitting on the front step, shoulders slumped and her head in her lap. She looked up when she saw me. ‘I need to go home.’

  I nodded and sat down beside her. ‘I don’t have a car, Kerri, but I can walk you home if it isn’t far, or I can call a taxi. Or your parents.’

  She shook her head vigorously and then groaned, putting a hand on her forehead. ‘Not my mother. She wouldn’t be very happy seeing me like this. I don’t know what I was thinking. Pandora gave me some punch to drink, and I didn’t want to look stupid in front of her, so I took it. I think I had more than one. I was fine until a little while ago, and then I felt so sick.’ She groaned again, and her head fell on my shoulder.

  Sighing, I put my arm around her and said, ‘I’ll call a taxi, then. Where do you live?’

  ‘Not far. We could walk, and then I could slip in the back. Mum might be asleep anyway, but she’d hear a taxi and wake up. She doesn’t know I went to a party, and I don’t want to see her till the morning. She knows I went to Pandora’s house, but she thinks I went there to get some help with an English assignment. Pandora helped me once before.’

  It seemed so out of character for Kerri to lie about going to a party and to end up sick because she was drinking. I could only blame Pandora. She seemed to influence people so easily, and not for the best either.

  ‘Are you sure you can manage to walk?’

  ‘Maybe it will do me good.’

  ‘Okay, we’re going to stand now.’ I helped her up and gave her a minute to steady herself. ‘How are you feeling?’ I looked at her.

  She took a couple of deep breaths. ‘Yeah, better.’ She moved away from me and took a few steps down the path. ‘I’m good. I can probably manage on my own, Rion. You don’t need to come with me.’

  ‘That’s okay, Kerri. I don’t mind. It’s late and better for you to walk with someone.’

  ‘Thanks. Appreciate it.’

  We sent off down the street, the noise of the party getting more and more distant. For a while, Kerri didn’t say much, probably because it was an effort for her. But the more we walked, the better she seemed, and finally she said, ‘I don’t usually go to parties. But Pandora’s been so good to me, helping me with English and everything, and I didn’t want to disappoint her by not going.’ Kerri sighed.

  ‘I don’t think she would have minded if you didn’t go. There were a lot of people at that party.’

  ‘I know. She hardly spoke to me all night, except to give me that drink. And then other people kept filling it up. But I don’t blame her. She’s so popular, and she had to talk to her other guests.’

  We turned down a street where Kerri said she lived. ‘And she asked you to bring me home. So she does care about me, as a friend.’

  ‘Yes, but…’ I tried to choose my words with care, ‘Kerri, I wouldn’t be too influenced by her. Sometimes, she can act impulsively and not always wisely. She does what she wants and doesn’t always think of the consequences for others.’

  Kerri turned to me, her eyes wide. ‘You’re wrong, Rion. Pandora is very considerate. She thinks I’m really smart and… she even said I was pretty. No one has ever said that to me before, except my mother once or twice. Pandora is wonderful.’

  I could see I was fighting a losing battle here, yet I had to try one last time. ‘But this isn’t you, Kerri. You don’t lie, or drink, and you aren’t deceitful to your family. You need to make sure, if you do something, it’s what you really want to do and not what someone else tells you to do. Even if that person is a friend.’

  ‘No offence, Rion, but it’s not really any of your business.’

  We walked in silence for a little way.

  ‘I live here,’ she said, stopping in front of a modest brick low set with a manicured lawn and low-maintenance bushes along the front. There was a light in the front room, and I saw the curtain twitch. It didn’t look as if Kerri’s mum had gone to bed after all.

  She made a face. ‘I’d better go in. Thanks for walking me home, but you should go now too. The last thing I need is for Mum to think I’m with a boy.’

  That, I thought, was the least of Kerri’s worries. ‘All right. Goodnight. I hope you feel better in the morning.’

  I turned and headed back up the street, leaving Kerri to face her mum.

  It had been an eventful night. I hadn’t managed to convince Pandora of anything. She seemed determined to do what she wanted, no matter who she hurt. And I worried that the longer she stayed, the longer that list would be.

  But her words stayed with me. When I’d touched her hand, I became connected not just with Pandora, but with everything we were and where we had come from. Remembering my home planet and my parents had affected me more than I’d wanted to admit. I’d also felt the energy and power that was still in me, that belonged to my race. My supervisor had said I would become completely human, but it wasn’t true. I had become human, but I hadn’t lost everything in me that was alien. I hadn’t realised that until tonight. And it shook me.

  I looked at my phone again. I didn’t have a good feeling. Rion hadn’t got back to me since about nine thirty, after I put Emerson to bed. I called him, but it went to his voice mail. I was home now from babysitting and getting ready for bed. For Rion not to have contacted me in a while probably meant he’d had to deal with something. I had no doubt that meant Pandora. I called him one more time.

  ‘Zoe, sorry I haven’t called before.’

  I was just glad to hear his voice at last. ‘What happened?’

  ‘Pandora,’ he said.

  ‘Yeah, figured. What’d she do?’

  ‘You mean besides the deafening music, the overcrowding of too many bodies in a space not meant to accommodate them, and underage drinking? Well, she told everyone I was an alien.’ Rion’s voice sounded heavy, tired.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Yes, but luckily everyone thought it was just a joke.’

  Jeez, Pandora was a loose cannon. ‘So, did you talk to her, tell her how stupid that was?’

  ‘I tried to, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get through to her. And I had to walk Kerri home because she got sick at the party.’

  ‘Kerri? Our Kerri?’ I couldn’t believe my ears. ‘How did that happen?’

  ‘She had some punch, which she said was off.’

  ‘Yeah, right. I can just imagine what went into it. And what about the others? Harry and Lou and Mike?’

  ‘Harry went home early. I didn’t see Lou and Mike. Maybe they didn’t go. Or I missed them. There were a lot of people there.’

  ‘How about you? How are you feeling?’ I had rarely heard him sound so dejected and flat.

  ‘I’m okay. I’m just not sure what to do about Pandora.’

  ‘
I think you’re just going to have to leave it alone, Rion. There’s nothing more you can do at the moment. You’ve tried.’

  ‘She told everyone I was an alien. What if she decides to do it again? People might take her more seriously then. And she doesn’t even have a guardian to keep her in line. I never thought I’d miss Archimedes, but I almost wish he were here now. He, at least, would have the power to do something.’

  Archimedes had been a pain in the butt. However, Rion had a point. If anyone could bring Pandora into line, it was him. ‘Maybe you should try to contact him. Perhaps, because he was your guardian and close to you, he might hear you.’

  Rion gave a snort. ‘There was nothing close between Archimedes and me. He was only too glad to be rid of me.’

  I knew that was probably the truth. There was silence between us for a few moments. Then, he said, ‘It’s late. I should let you go. Maybe I’ll think of something in the next few days.’

  ‘Yes, I’m sure we will. I missed you tonight.’

  ‘You should get some sleep. We’ll talk later,’ was his only reply.

  As I lay in bed, I couldn’t help feeling that Rion wasn’t telling me everything. He seemed tired, almost defeated. And that wasn’t like him. What else had gone on at that party?

  Chapter Sixteen

  So how was last night?’

  We were sitting in our favourite meeting place, the retro milkshake bar at the shopping centre.