Let Me Go

by DC Renee

  “I didn’t fucking think that far, all right.”

  “Fine, whatever, we’ll deal with it when the time comes. Back to my original question – are you seriously okay with breaking her down? Don’t answer me. Hell, you don’t ever have to answer me. I just want you to think about it. I want you to come to the realization that shit didn’t work out the way you planned and you fell for the girl you thought you hated.”

  “You’re wrong, Benny. Fine, whatever, I don’t hate her. I wanted to, but I don’t. You’re right, she isn’t who she was and I actually kind of like the person she is. But that’s it. I don’t love her. I can’t and won’t love her. End of story.”

  “I said my piece. I felt I had to. But we both know it won’t do you much good until you figure it out on your own. For your sake, I hope you do it soon. I’m out. Good luck. God knows you need it.”

  Benny left him sitting there, pondering his feelings. A moment later he heard Kat get out of the shower, so he let his thoughts drift away. He needed to finish taking care of her. That took priority over his messed up conversation with Benny.

  Chapter 26

  Kat was back to normal a few days later. Mason had waited on her the entire time she was sick. It actually seemed like he was a doting husband for a little while, and it felt good. So good. She seemed to have forgotten herself, her situation, and even her scheming for a little while. She just enjoyed his company and the care he showed her. And he was so darn caring. It was easy to think of him as more than just her captor when he was so great with her. If she was going to use her body against him, then she would hang on to these memories to remind her that maybe it wasn’t just manipulation only. It was more, even if she didn’t want to admit it.

  She turned on her seduction techniques, which she just watched crash and burn. It had been almost two weeks since she was back to her routine, and she had tried everything she could think of to get Mason’s attention physically. She flirted with him openly; she allowed herself to brush against him whenever she got close. She found excuses to sit right next to him so their bodies would touch. She had even found a way to have him see her in a towel, all dripping wet from the shower, on numerous occasions, but none of it seemed to work. Either she really sucked at seduction, Mason had an iron will, or she had completely misread all his signs. God, she seriously hoped she hadn’t been wrong about him caring about her. She would seriously feel stupid and naïve. And then her shot to leave would be ruined.

  She had, however, gotten to him the other day. She was sure of that. She was in his office re-organizing his books when he walked in. “I’ve noticed you like reading.” Those were the first real words he had spoken to her. She looked up at him and nodded.

  “It’s pretty impressive. I think I’ve read most of them already though.” Finally, they were having a real conversation. She breathed a sigh of relief. But when he didn’t respond and just sat down at his desk, her hopes plummeted. Oh no! She wasn’t letting this go. “What’s your favorite book?” she asked.

  “You wouldn’t know it,” he snorted.

  She was an avid reader even before this whole kidnapping thing. He must not have remembered hearing her talk about it. She tried not to sound offended, but rather playful when she responded, “How about I guess?”

  He looked up to meet her eyes. “And if I guess right, I get a favor.”

  He tried not to show his intrigue, but his eyes betrayed him.

  “And what kind of favor would that be? If you think I’m letting you go, you’re not getting that,” he smirked.

  “I want a day off.” He scrunched his nose in confusion, so she continued, “I want a day off from scrubbing toilets, cleaning, cooking, and everything else. I just want to lounge around and read all day.”

  “All right, fine. You’re on,” he said after a moment of hesitation. “Tell me, what is my favorite book?”

  “Count of Monte Cristo,” Kat answered almost instantly. She watched Mason’s eyebrows shoot toward the sky. She got it. It wasn’t really hard to tell that was his favorite book. He didn’t speak, and the obvious shock on his face was almost comical. She felt she had to put him out of his misery and tell him how she knew that was probably the book that had gotten him through his nights in prison. “I know it’s your favorite because it’s the most worn out one in your massive collection, like you've read it over and over again. The pages are folded, noting your favorite passages. But that’s not why it’s your favorite. You love it because it's a story of revenge. It's a story about a man who was wrongfully imprisoned and seeks revenge upon those who put him there. Am I right?”

  He seemed to snap out of his thoughts. “You know nothing about revenge.” His voice was like cold steel. “You can't possible understand where I’m coming from.”

  “Oh, but you’re wrong,” she cut him off. “The Count of Monte Cristo is not only about seeking revenge, it's also about a man who goes half-mad seeking that revenge. Dante only realizes too late that in order for him to truly get revenge, he must forgive his enemies and himself. So yes, Mason, I do know a thing or two about revenge, but you should know that without forgiveness, you won't be able to free yourself.” She didn’t give him a chance to rebut before she turned to walk out the door, only looking back for a moment, a smile playing on her lips. “I’ll be taking my day off tomorrow."

  She left him sitting stunned but not for long. She heard him storm out of the room and out the door only moments later. That was proof that she had gotten under his skin, and she did take the next day off, but he avoided her like the plague after that. Her cat chasing mouse game continued with him brushing her off. But she wasn’t giving up.

  She had one more trick up her sleeve. She wasn’t immune to cheesy, teen movies, and she remembered a scene from one where the loner girl got drunk and ended up dancing sexy on a table at a party. Everyone thought she was a riot, and she did get the guy in the end. All the guys were coming over later that day, and since Mason had started letting her hang with them when they watched the game, it was possible she might have a beer or two and get a little drunk with them as well. She’d fake being drunk and do the same thing the girl in the movie did. Her plan was going to work. It had to.

  A few hours later, everything was set up and the guys were there laughing, drinking, and watching the game. She had secretly been nursing the same beer for over an hour, but no one had to know that. As far as they were concerned, Kat was getting tipsy. Or at least she hoped she was pulling off acting tipsy.

  “Whoa, Kat, maybe you better slow down.” Chain laughed as she pretended to bump into him while getting him a beer.

  “Nah, I’m perfectly fine. Besides, life is short, why not enjoy the moments when you can have fun,” she said, but tried to sound like she was slightly slurring. She hoped she didn’t sound like an ass, but maybe that would be okay.

  At intermission, her game was on. She turned Mason’s iPod to some pop song she liked and started sauntering over to the guys. Sure, she could dance dorky when she was at home, alone, and that was tons of fun. But she also knew how to shake it. Heck, it wasn’t that hard, shake your hips, bounce your boobs, and slink down your body while rubbing yourself.

  Mason was smirking when she started dancing toward them. He hadn’t seen her dance sexy, only dorky, and she was sure that was what he was expecting. Boy was he in for a surprise. If this didn’t get his blood pumping, she wasn’t sure what would.

  So when she went to the coffee table in front of them and practically tossed all the chips and stuff off of it, she wasn’t surprised to hear the guys gasp.

  “Kat, what are you doing?” asked Benny, but he had a smirk on his face as well.

  “I’m having fun and it’s time to dance!” she yelled loudly.

  She started dancing, and by the way the guys were staring at her with drool hanging from their open mouths, she knew she was doing it right. She glanced at Mason only occasionally. She didn’t want to lose her nerve, and she knew if she saw his expression,
she would falter. The few times she caught his eye, she couldn’t read him. It was a mix of awe, lust, and anger in his eyes. She couldn’t comprehend why he would be angry. Because she was acting out? It didn’t matter. If she couldn’t pull this off, then it was all over anyway. And he could be as angry as he wanted to be.

  As the song was coming to an end, it was time for her finale. She turned so her back was facing Mason and pretended to slip on the table. She was either going to fall backwards and hit her head, or Mason was going to catch her. She prayed for the latter and something in her gut told her not to worry, so she twisted her foot and down she went. Just like she had hoped, Mason was there, holding her in his arms. She was staring at him, and there was no longer anger in his eyes. There wasn’t even awe. There was a hint of concern, but the lust was overpowering it. The way he stared at her like he could devour her right then and there was causing a tingling to creep over her entire body. She could feel the warmth spread, and she liked it. She didn’t want to…but she liked it. She liked being in Mason’s arms. She liked feeling safe and comforted. And more importantly, she liked the way he held her close but gently. She lifted her face as his inched slightly toward her. They were going to kiss. She knew it. And the butterflies in her stomach were on full flutter. She wondered what his lips would feel like and how he would taste. She wondered if he was a soft kisser or a hungry kisser. Would he kiss her languidly? Or would he take her lips like his life depended on it? She felt the pull between them. She felt the desire pulsing from both of their bodies. She felt his heat mix with hers. God help her, but she wanted this kiss. She needed it.

  “Damn, Kat, who knew you were a sex kitten,” John said, completely shattering whatever would have happened between her and Mason. Mason shook his head, and she could see him trying to get his bearings back. He set her down gently, but didn’t look away until the other guys chimed in.

  “Hot Girl!”

  “Hot damn!”

  “Ouch!” They screamed and clapped. Finally, Mason turned away from her, and she turned to her audience, smiled, and gave a short little fake bow.

  “Kat, go to your room,” Mason ordered a second later.

  “What? But, the game.”

  “What you did here was unacceptable. And you’ve clearly had too much to drink. Don’t disobey me. Go to your room,” he growled and the anger in his eyes was back. She looked at Benny for help, but he just shrugged and seemed confused as well.

  She ran to her room upset, humiliated, and disappointed. Something had passed between them. She knew it had. Mason almost kissed her. She had felt it. Then the moment was ruined, and now he was angry. Why he was angry, she didn’t know. But she knew all her plans were done. This was her last chance, and she couldn’t make it happen. He wasn’t ever letting her go, and that broke her heart. But, sadly, what hurt more was the fact that it seemed like he didn’t want her. He threw her out of the room even though she could have sworn he wanted her. Clearly, he didn’t. But then what was that almost kiss? She was confused and hurt. She wanted to cry. The tears threatened to fall, but she held them back as she sat quietly on her bed, rocking back and forth. Quiet, shy Kat just put on the performance of her life, and it backfired. Mason had pushed her away.

  Chapter 27

  He almost kissed her. He. Almost. Fucking. Kissed. Her. He was now pacing in his room, going crazy just thinking about it. The past two weeks had been utterly miserable for Mason. Either Kat was torturing him on purpose or he had just never noticed her before. Whatever it was, he noticed her now; he noticed her too much. He saw every sly glance, he heard every word she spoke, and he felt every touch. Damn…did he feel every touch. Ever since the acts of violation against him in prison, he had a hard time getting aroused. Call it trauma, emotional stress, or just bad memories, but he never really got in the mood. In fact, he hadn’t really been with a woman since. Not for lack of trying, he just couldn’t find release. He only felt free when it was just him and his hand. Secretly, he knew it was because he just didn’t feel comfortable, safe, and even clean with other people. But lately, he couldn’t stop his dick from coming to attention whenever he was around Kat. It’s like she had awoken something in him. Although his body liked it, he didn’t. He did everything he could to stay away from her. To control his urge to pull her down, rip off her clothes, and bury himself deep within her. He tried brushing her off, being cold to her, even feigning ignorance to her flirting, but it was getting harder and harder. Literally. He found himself finding release pretty damn often in the shower and it was to images of a brown-haired, hazel-eyed beauty. And there was that day in the office where she surprised him with the Count of Monte Cristo guess. Not only had she guessed the correct book, which he didn’t think would happen, but she had also read it and understood it. And she was right. It was more than just revenge. Her words had struck him deeply. Her words confused him, she confused him. Heck, his feelings for her confused him. As soon as she had walked out of the room, he knew he was fucked. He stormed out, took some time to think, and managed to get his emotions under control. He was back to cool and calm.

  Finally, it seemed like she had stopped her advances or whatever it was. They were sort of back to normal, and his friends were over watching the game and having fun. Even Kat was enjoying herself. He hadn’t noticed her drinking too much, but by her behavior, she was getting pretty drunk. He was torn between wanting to see what she was like with her walls completely down thanks to alcohol and scolding her like a child for doing this to herself because he knew she would be feeling the effects the next day.

  Then she turned on the music and started sauntering over with a gleam in her eyes. She was moving her hips and looked ready to lose herself in the music. He smiled to himself, ready for her to do one of the incredibly adorable nerdy dances she did when she thought he wasn’t watching her clean. And then she surprised the hell out of him. She was a vixen. The way her body moved was mesmerizing, enticing. He was speechless, he was drawn. If he thought staying away from her before was hard, it was nothing compared to watching her move the way she did. He wanted to pull her down onto his lap and do wicked things to her…that is, until he saw the way his friends were eyeing her. A sudden urge to either cover her up and hide her or beat the shit out of his friends overtook him. He mentally shook his head. This wasn’t right. He couldn’t be jealous. He wasn’t jealous. Damn it! He wanted to clog his friends, and he actually told himself he wasn’t jealous. If that wasn’t bad enough, at least if Kat was doing this for him, he could sit back and smile smugly while his friends watched in awe. He could think to himself, that’s right guys, she’s all mine. But she wasn’t his and on top of that, she barely spared him a glance the entire time. He scowled. He was mad at himself for caring about Kat; he was mad at her for teasing him; he was mad at his friends for watching her. But mostly, he was mad because the entire situation was fucked up. He watched her as the song was coming to an end, still angry with the world, when she slipped and started falling backwards. In an instant, he was up and had her in his arms. All his anger faded when she was there and he stared into her eyes. All he saw was Kat, beautiful, wonderful Kat. He felt the air shift, and a beat of electricity seemed to pass between them. His gaze shifted to her lips. They were plump and naturally red. He wanted to taste those lips. He wanted to have what he had been denying his body for so long. He wanted Kat, and by God, he was going to have her. He felt himself drawing closer to her, as if an invisible string pulled their lips together. He stared at her mouth inching closer to his, oblivious to his surroundings until he heard John’s catcalls and whistling, effectively snapping him out of it. He couldn’t blame the guy, but he sure as hell wanted to hit him.

  But that did bring him back to reality. What the hell was wrong with him? Did he really almost kiss Kat? Did he really want to? Damn it, he did! This was so wrong. When his friends brought his attention back to her, he cursed himself before sending her away. He needed her to leave him right now. Right fucking now. He needed
to get distance, and damned if he was going to be the one to leave. Besides this was all her fault, with her flirting and kindness and stupid good heart. He forced her out of the room.

  “Mason, man, you okay?” Benny asked, ever the observant good friend.

  He should have lied; he should have told him to fuck off; he should have brushed it off, but he answered honestly, “No.” Benny simply nodded, said something to his friends and they all stood to leave.

  “I should say I told you so, but I’m just going to tell you to figure your shit out instead, all right? You need me, you know where I’m at, but I have a feeling you’d like to be alone right now, so you got it. We’re out.” Mason nodded and mumbled his appreciation before the guys left and he stalked to his room. Could he possibly care about Kat in that way? He couldn’t love her, he knew that. And even if he could, she couldn’t possibly love him. No way, no how. He needed to fix this, he just didn’t know how.

  Chapter 28

  Mason spent the better part of a week avoiding Kat. He was waging an internal war about his feelings for her. Benny’s words kept replaying in his head, telling him he loved her. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. And yet she plagued his thoughts and his dreams. Heck, she even plagued his waking moments. Ever since he almost kissed her, he couldn’t get her off his mind.

  He barely registered that she had become quiet and withdrawn. And when he finally realized it, he had an aching feeling that he was to blame for that. He knew he had been cold to her; he knew he had brushed her off. What he didn’t know was why she would care. He still didn’t believe what Benny said about her caring for him in more than a friendly way. But he had to wonder if she had wanted to be with him the way he was craving her. These thoughts made him become his moody self. And now she seemed defeated. He thought he would enjoy her like this, but it was doing a number on his conscience.