Let Me Go

by DC Renee

  He didn’t know what that meant for him. He didn’t love her and if he had to prove it to Benny and Kat, and even his own traitorous body, he would. And he knew just what to do. He grabbed his things and went out.

  *****

  Kat continued her slave duties for Mason the following week, but she felt like she was doing it all on autopilot. She wasn’t going anywhere, she was stuck here, and worst of all she was stuck with a guy that avoided her like the plague. She could have sworn there was something between them; she could have sworn she had felt wanted, even needed, which was a great feeling after Seth had tossed her aside. Not only that, but she had come to terms with using her body for the greater good of her goal. Until that plan went to shit. For the first time in all the months she had been trapped here, she couldn’t put on a happy face. She couldn’t muster up the energy. Even when she first got there, and fear was an overwhelming emotion, she had hope which kept her feeling alive and even happy. Her ability to give back as good as she got with her comments and feistiness always put a smile on her lips even when she ran to her room right after to hide from Mason. Now he barely even acknowledged her, and there would be no point in riling him up even if she had it in her. Which, of course, she didn’t. She just felt humiliated, ashamed, and lost.

  She wanted to cry, she wanted to let the tears run down her face. She wanted to admit he had won, admit he had beaten her down, but that was the one thing he couldn’t take away from her. She held her chin up high even if it was a façade, did her chores even though she didn’t have any desire, and ignored Mason right back. He would never see her cry. If she had to stay here for years, so be it, but she would never let him win like that.

  She had finished all her chores for the day and was ready to retire to her room. She was coming out of the bathroom when she saw Mason speed by like he was on fire. She only caught a glimpse before he was out the door. At this hour, he was going out. He didn’t go out much, but he did occasionally go to a bar or something with his buddies. He usually let her know he’d be late. He didn’t technically have to check in with her, and she figured it was a nice gesture, but not this time. He left without saying a word, something she was getting used to from the past week. What she wasn’t used to was the sound of a giggling woman waking her up in the middle of the night.

  She wasn’t sleeping all that well lately, so it didn’t take much to wake her up, but the obnoxious snorting coming from the living room would have woken up just about anyone. Dazed and confused for a moment, she couldn’t comprehend what was going on. Maybe Mason finally came home and decided to turn the television on full blast. Curiosity and even a little bit of worry that he was too drunk to take care of himself had her stumbling out of bed and heading toward the living room.

  She opened her door and stopped short in her tracks. That was no television making those noises. There, in the living room she used as her own, the one she cleaned with her bare hands, the one she had come to know as hers, was Mason pressing a giggling blonde against the wall. She was running her leg up and down his thigh while her hands caressed his back. His head was nuzzled into the crook of her neck, which was clearly why she was giggling. Mason lifted his head, and their lips collided in an angry rush as Kat stood there frozen, watching in horror. Bile rose up in her stomach as the blonde moaned loudly into Mason’s mouth, and finally Kat gasped. Mason’s head snapped back, and his eyes bore into hers. It was too dark to see the emotion in them, but that didn’t stop her from feeling his intense gaze. There was some nagging instinct in the back of her mind that she could ask this woman for help, tell her that Mason was keeping her hostage, but the sight before her was overwhelming any urges to get the hell out of there. She was stuck watching a train wreck she didn’t want to see. She didn’t want to see Mason in an intimate embrace with another woman. She didn’t want to hear his or her moans of pleasure. And she sure as hell didn’t want to feel the horrid emotions she was feeling right now. She wanted to grab the woman by her hair and drag her out. She wanted to slap Mason. Hard. She wanted to hurl something across the room and watch it smash like her whole body was doing right now. But still, she didn’t move. She was crumbling inside, dying, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do.

  “Don’t mind her, she’s my sister, but she’s not all there, so don’t pay attention to anything she might say. Sometimes she likes to make up stories and ramble,” Mason lied coolly to the woman whose body was still pressed against his.

  Kat’s hand flew to her mouth. That bastard. That disgusting, conniving, arrogant bastard. Even if she could get her mind back together enough to ask some whore for help, he had just taken that away from her. Anger flooded her senses, pushing out any hurt or disappointment that was festering there. She spun on her heel, slammed the door behind her, and cradled Mason’s iPod to her body as she turned on the music full blast so she wouldn’t hear the noises that she knew would be coming out of his room at any moment. She didn’t want to feel so she allowed herself to get lost in her anger and the songs blasting in her head until a fitful sleep finally claimed her. Fuck Mason! Fuck his damn charm and good looks. Fuck his moodiness and kindness. Fuck his damn mind games. Fuck him!

  *****

  Mason had spent half the night getting drunk in a bar alone. He only spent a few minutes contemplating inviting Benny to join, but he knew that was a bad idea. Benny would take one look at him and tell him this was wrong. He would make him feel bad for pushing Kat. He would try to make him see what Mason was refusing to acknowledge. He needed to get Kat out of his system and fast.

  He didn’t actually care who he picked up, but every woman that looked at him just gave him bad vibes. That was until he was fortified with enough liquid courage that all the women looked the same. And then he realized he wanted blonde because Kat was a brunette. He wanted tall because Kat was short. He wanted a slut because Kat wasn’t. He grabbed the first busty blonde that caught his eye and put on very little charm. He hadn’t flirted in a while and was rusty at it, but the blonde, Tracy – or was it Lacy – whatever, she didn’t seem to mind. And after about half an hour, they were headed back to his place.

  When he finally got there, he wasn’t sure if he wanted Kat to see this or not. Part of him wanted to end whatever was going on between them and knew this was a surefire way to make that happen. Another part dreaded seeing her hurt by his actions. And part of him feared she wouldn’t care. That was the part that was winning over the others. He had to know if she cared, had to see it for his own eyes, even though he told himself he didn’t want it. If she hated him after this, at least he would know she cared about him. And then what? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!

  He didn’t even know why he was doing this. He thought he needed to prove to himself that he didn’t care even though every part of him was screaming that he did.

  He forced those thoughts away as he made his way into the living room. The minute he spotted Kat’s closed door, his heart squeezed in his chest. He couldn’t do this, but he had to. He pinned the blonde against the wall, willing his body to crave her, to want her. He tried looking into her eyes, but when blue eyes became hazel eyes, he knew he was doomed. He turned away from her face, burying his head in her neck. He just rested it there while she giggled uncontrollably and stroked his leg with hers. This should be turning him on, damn it! She was hot and wanted him, he should want her too. And by damn, he would make himself want her. He forced his lips to hers, but when he closed his eyes, he only saw Kat. God, what the hell was wrong with him? And then he heard the faint gasp. Oh fuck!

  He turned and there she stood, silhouetted by the faint light coming from her window, the moon creating the effect that she was otherworldly. He couldn’t mistake the pain etched across her face, twisting at his heart strings. He wanted to march across the room, grab her, and pin her against the wall instead of the woman pressing into him now. He wanted to tell Kat that this girl didn’t mean anything. But he couldn’t move. He was staring at her, reading her feelings in her
eyes and it made him sick. And that was what this was all about, proving that he didn’t care. If only he could get Kat out of his mind, then he wouldn’t care that she was hurt now. Because that would mean he didn’t love her, he didn’t care about her feelings. So he fought against everything in him that was screaming to comfort Kat and told Tracy/Lacy not to pay any attention to Kat, that she was his crazy sister. He knew it was a low blow, but that was what he thought it would take. If she contemplated asking the drunk next to him for help, he had effectively squashed that possibility. Not that she would understand anything right now. The disappointment and anger that flashed across her face in that moment almost shattered him and his resolve. Before he had a chance to backpedal, she spun around and slammed the door behind her. Now he had to go through with his plans or this would truly all be for nothing.

  He grabbed the blonde and dragged her to his room. He pushed her on the bed and began to undress her, but it all felt wrong, so wrong. He wasn’t aroused; he was only disgusted with himself. He felt only anguish, and all his thoughts were on the brunette in the next room and how she looked at him. She had never looked at him like a monster before. Not until now, and it crushed him.

  He stood up abruptly. “Get dressed, I’m calling you a cab.”

  “What? Don’t you want to have a good time?” she cooed.

  “No, now get up and get out of this room.”

  “If you’re worried your sister will hear us, I can be real quiet.”

  “I’m not in the mood. This was a mistake. I’m sorry for wasting your time, but it’s time for you to go.”

  She pouted, but obeyed, and fifteen minutes later she was safely in a cab headed home and Mason was in his bed in agony.

  Chapter 29

  When Kat woke the next day, she had to know if the woman had slept over; she didn’t know why, but she had to. She peeked into Mason’s room and saw he was still asleep. There was no sign of his new whore, but it didn’t prevent the ache still burning in her chest. Mason looked glorious; he was clearly sleeping shirtless and the blanket had fallen low on his hips so that she could see the vast hard lines of his chest and abs. But seeing him like this, and knowing what he was doing last night made her want to retch. She couldn’t appreciate his beauty anymore and she needed to get out, but even as she thought the words, she knew they were useless. Hopeless. How was she going to get out now?

  She went about her daily activities, although she wasn’t sure why she was doing anything. She knew that Mason wouldn’t physically harm her if she just stopped. And it’s not like she was going to try to be buddy-buddy with him, or even more…at least not anymore. She didn’t see the point in following his rules. She didn’t care if he took away her privacy.

  She kept working anyways, probably because she needed something to do so she wouldn’t go crazy. She knew Mason had woken up because she heard him moving around, but he didn’t come out. He avoided her and when he did come out of his room, he didn’t look at her. She didn’t know if that hurt more than if he would have just pretended like things were normal.

  “You remember the guys are coming over soon, right?” was the first thing he said to her.

  She had forgotten, but she nodded as if she hadn’t. Great! Just what she wanted right now, to see a bunch of guys having a grand old time. An hour later, she was trying to hide her scowl as she watched Mason and Benny laughing like they didn’t have a care in the world. She was sure they didn’t. They weren’t prisoners. They had their freedom. They could go around confusing girls into thinking they cared and then go off and have sex with just anyone. Then they could get together and talk about their conquests. Of course they didn’t have a care in the world.

  “Hey Kitty Kat,” Benny called to her while she was brooding in the kitchen, “Can you get me and Mason another beer since you’re already by the fridge.” One thing that was good about Benny, he never expected her to fetch his things for her, only if she was already standing up or something. She knew he didn’t mean any harm in asking her, but something just snapped.

  “He can get his own damn beer and get you yours while he’s at it,” Kat half-yelled, half-sneered.

  Four pairs of eyes swung to her, shock registering on all their faces.

  “Kat? Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” Benny asked, clearly concerned.

  Her eyes swung toward Mason, and she saw what looked like guilt in his eyes for a brief moment before he narrowed them.

  “I need to get out of here,” she mumbled.

  “What?” Benny asked.

  “I need to get the fuck out of here!” Kat yelled.

  Mason stayed quiet, but watched her with intent. Benny seemed to be the only one capable of speech.

  “What’s going on?” he asked, confused.

  “What’s going on?” she mocked. “What’s going on? Are you serious? I’ve been kept a prisoner here for months…months. I have a degree, I went to college so that I could be out in the world helping people, doing something important with my life, not wasting away here providing free slave labor as a sort of punishment for something I didn’t fucking do!” She turned to Mason. “I didn’t fucking accuse you of rape. Hell, I know you aren’t that kind of guy. I know that whoever did that to you really messed up your life, and I’m sure you didn’t deserve it. And now you are broken. I mean, I know what you had to go through while you were in jail. I can’t imagine that happening to anyone, so I’m sorry for that. But you, of all people, should know what it’s like to be living a nightmare for something you didn’t do. I’m not the one who should be closed off here. I worked hard all of my life to make something of myself. I was abandoned when I was a few days old in a gas station bathroom. A GAS STATION BATHROOM!” She registered the shock of the guys as she yelled those words.

  “How fucking cliché, right? My family didn't want me; I was bounced around from one foster home to another, where no one gave a crap about me, but I didn't let that get to me. I worked my ass off to make a new life for myself. I graduated at the top of my class and had a job I loved. Social work, in case you were wondering, asshole, and I have a minor in psych, so I could help kids just like me! And all that time, I just wanted someone to show me some love, some affection. I had a few friends here and there, but because I was shy, nothing really stuck. But overall, my life was finally getting on track. And then, I finally find a guy who I thought loved me and cherished me. I just wanted to be loved so badly, and he knew that; he played me. I fell for him so hard and so fast, because he was finally the first person to show me the kind of affection I had craved all these years. I gave him everything. He was even my first. I moved here for him, which meant I lost my perfect job and whatever friends I managed to have. But guess what? Turns out the asshole wanted me because he thought I would be the perfect person to control, to mold. So he charmed me, won me, and then started sleeping around on me and taking his aggressions out on me, thinking that I’d just bow down and take it. I finally got away from him.

  “And then, as if my life can’t fucking get any worse, here I am. I went from being manipulated by one man to being kidnapped by another. No it's not fucking fun not having freedom and it's humiliating actually TRYING to become friends with your kidnapper while he brings some slut home to fuck! I’m being punished for something I didn't do! You think I actually did this to you, a guy I hadn’t met before you abducted me, because I wanted revenge on you? Oh yes, I’ve pieced some things together. Revenge for what?! Don’t you think if I wanted to get revenge on someone that it would be my lying, cheating, worthless piece of shit ex-boyfriend? Why on earth would I do something to you?” She paused, tired of screaming. No one said anything and when she spoke again, she sounded defeated. “Please just let me go. You made it perfectly clear that I'm just in your way, that you want nothing to do with me. As much as I want to help you get revenge for what has happened to you, it is not me you should be seeking revenge from. Please let me go so we both can heal on our own, and you'll never have to hear from me
again.”

  She stared at all the guys and then settled her gaze on Mason, her eyes pleading with him. She hated that she was so vulnerable right now, especially with him. Images of him pressed against a woman assaulted her mind, but she shook her head so she could continue looking him in the eyes. She was momentarily proud of herself for being able to stick up for herself, for being able to pour her soul out to the guy who had hurt her far worse than Seth ever had.

  *****

  Mason hadn’t been able to face Kat all day. He wasn’t sure how to look at her, or how to speak to her. Things had clearly changed last night, and he knew he had fucked up. He may not want to have a relationship with her, but he sure as hell didn’t expect to feel like a Grade-A asshole after trying to sleep with a woman. Why the hell was he feeling like a cheating scumbag? There was no one to cheat on. He didn’t care about Kat that way. He didn’t love her. They weren’t in a relationship. They weren’t playing house for the fun of it. And yet, he avoided her, couldn’t look her in the eyes, and didn’t know what to do. To top that off, his friends were coming over, and he felt like he shouldn’t need to fake being happy. But once his friends were there, he was glad for the distraction. Still, when it came to Kat, he couldn’t function properly. When his thoughts ran back to her, he was sullen and distant. He vaguely registered Benny asking Kat for a beer when she screamed back at him. That got his attention. Hell that got everyone’s attention.