My Life as Athena: The Private Memoirs of a Greek Goddess

by Daphne Ignatius

  I wandered up to the forest’s edge and took a deep breath. Placing a hand on the hilt of the sword that I had belted around my waist that morning, I dove into the woods. They were fairly open, so I had good visibility as I climbed the hillside. The sound of birds was familiar, as was the wind in the leaves, and the occasional rustle of a large animal moving through the underbrush. Although the soil was dark, it appeared to be thin and rocky in places. The trees were stout, though, roughly triangular in shape, with needles instead of leaves. Their trunks were rough and textured under my hand, and they shot upwards to dizzying heights around me. The sound of Greek voices faded swiftly as I left them behind.

  The hill got steeper the higher I went, so I was breathing hard when I reached the top. There, the forest thinned out to a small clearing, which allowed me a panoramic view. Behind me, I saw the sea and the jagged coastline extend for miles. In front, a series of hills and valleys rolled onwards, green and forbidding. What really caught my eye were the gray boulders dotting the clearing, set roughly in a circle.

  The boulders had obviously been placed there by human hands, as the spacing and the design were too regular. I approached the nearest stone. It was about waist high, covered on all sides with carved symbols. The symbols had to be some form of writing, as some of the designs repeated. The carving was finely done and not too recent, because lichen had started to conquer some of the surface. I walked into the circle to see if anything would happen. Nothing. The breeze continued to blow, the green grass under my feet rippling slightly in an undulating wave. I turned my attention to the vista.

  The hills in front of me were steep. From one of the valleys, I saw a wisp of smoke curl up into the blue sky. Perhaps it was the people who had carved the stones and placed them here. I had no worshippers here besides Odysseus’s men, so I would have to walk to reach the settlement. Cursing, I thought of my chariot at home. That would have made it so much easier. I wasn’t about to traverse a series of mountains today, so I turned my attention back to the stone circle.

  This had to be a place of great meaning, if people had put the effort into hauling the boulders up the hillside. A place of meditation, perhaps? Markers of some sort? I crouched before one to take a closer look at the carvings, and placed a hand on the surface. Cold and hard, but nothing unusual. I got back to my feet and turned around to look at the vista once more.

  There was a dark-haired man sitting on a rock in front of me. I fell back in shock. He hadn’t been there a moment ago when I’d seen the smoke! He stood, looked me straight in the eye, and raised his hands palms up, as if to signal peaceful intent. Gaia, he could see me! Unless my power had failed completely, there was no way a mortal would be able to see me unless I willed it. My mind locked on that fact, and stilled. He had to be an immortal.

  He said something to me in a liquid ripple of words. Stunned, I just stood there, still dealing with the fact that I had accidentally called up a deity of some sort. The immortal fell silent, realizing that I had not understood a word of what he said. His gaze swept up and down me as he took in my garb and the sword at my waist. I eyed him just as intently.

  He was very lean and tall—much taller than myself or the gods at home. Thick, dark hair fell past his shoulders. His face was lean and handsome, but nothing outstanding. It was his emerald-green eyes that really stood out. They blazed with intelligence. A fine, fur-trimmed cloak fell from his shoulders, revealing little of what he wore beneath except for the heavy gold belt around his waist. He parted the edges of his cloak with his hands to reveal intricately carved gold bands at his wrists, and the hilt of a sword at his waist. He had made no further move in my direction, as if to reassure me that he meant me no harm.

  Remembering Isis, I attempted contact. I projected a thought of myself attired as a shining goddess, with a helmet in the crook of my arm. I placed a hand to my breast and simply said, “Athena.”

  He nodded. Gaia, it worked! Elated, I pointed to him with a questioning look in my eyes. A confident smile crossed his face as he put a hand to his chest, making a graceful half-bow in my direction.

  “Loki.”

  I returned to Olympus that night, having met my second foreign god and reveling in the experience. Loki was one of many gods in a realm called Norseland. From the little that I gathered, they were led by a king named Odin. The picture I got from Loki’s mind was that of a stout, older man wearing an eye-patch over one eye. They all lived in a place called Valhalla, which seemed to be a realm of much feasting and celebration.

  Loki had been very interested in how I had travelled to that place. I answered that I didn’t know, taking refuge behind the difficulty in communication in order to hide Odysseus’s presence a little longer. Loki frowned at that, clearly disbelieving me, but polite enough not to challenge me further. I made a move to leave, indicating that I needed to return to Athens. His eyes sparkled when he received the picture I sent him of a bustling city, seeming just as interested in learning about my home as I was in learning about his people. I agreed to return to the stone circle the next day to talk further, and gracefully dematerialized.

  I didn’t return to Athens as I had indicated. Instead, I travelled down to Odysseus’s camp and revealed myself to the astonished men. Odysseus had shared the story of how I had saved them from perishing on the ocean, and they fell to their knees in gratitude at sight of me. Waving aside their thanks, I signaled to Odysseus that I needed to speak to him privately. Quickly, I told him about what I had seen at the top of the hill.

  “How close is the nearest settlement?” he asked. “Perhaps we could stock up on food.”

  “Perhaps, but be very careful,” I counselled. “We do not know if their people view strangers favorably. They definitely do not speak Greek, so that will be a challenge as well. If I were you, I would not move far from the ship, in case you need to retreat quickly. They know the terrain here and you don’t.”

  Odysseus nodded, seeing the wisdom of my advice. “If there are people inland, surely there will be seaside settlements as well. We’ll trade with them instead.”

  “That is wise. This beach is fairly secluded, so I think you can rest and hunt for a few days. But don’t linger. It’s only a matter of time before the local gods figure out that there are strangers in their land.”

  “Great Lady,” said Odysseus solemnly. “I know that you said it would be up to us from this point onwards. But will you grant us your protection as we journey home?”

  I shook my head, unwilling to agree to such an extended obligation. “Odysseus, you are here because of the violations your men committed in Troy. Don’t forget that this is your punishment! I will remain watchful, but will not actively interfere in your fate.” Of course, I did wind up interfering quite a bit to get him safely home, but that is another story.

  Odysseus’s face tightened in anger at my frank response, but he was too intelligent to offend a goddess. “Then I offer you thanks for the help you have already given, Lady.” he responded stiffly. “We will take your advice and move on quickly.”

  I nodded. “I wish you good fortune,” I said before heading back to Olympus. Zeus would need to be notified about what I had discovered.

  Valhalla

  I met Loki at the stone circle several times over the next week. My father had been fascinated by the existence of an entirely different pantheon in this far-flung region of the world. He had instructed me to learn more about the Norse people, and determine whether they would make good allies or trade partners. With such a weighty responsibility laid on my shoulders, I set myself to learning Norse. To my relief, the gift of understanding that I had inherited from my mother did not just apply to animal speech. Loki was an adroit teacher and I swiftly learned the basics of the Norse language, starting with the words for the items I saw around me. My grammar was probably atrocious, but within a few days I was able to get my point across reasonably well in Norse.

  Once we were past the initial communication issues, Loki began to press me
for information on my homeland. Not knowing the intent behind his probing, I prevaricated, claiming that I didn’t know where it lay in relation to his land. It may have been simple curiosity on his part, but I had gotten the impression that Loki’s family valued battle skills, courage, and conquest above all. My job was to determine whether the Norsemen would make valuable allies, not to expose Greece to an unexpected invasion. An added benefit was that I kept Loki diverted while Odysseus repaired his ship and restocked his supplies. Then came the day Loki invited me to meet his family, as an official envoy from Greece. I accepted readily, pleased that I would be able to meet the entire Norse pantheon, thus making a judgment on alliance easier for me.

  I returned to the stone circle the next day, dressed appropriately for a trip to Valhalla. My peplos was snow white, with my aegis draped over my breasts. Silver bands secured my bound hair, while jewelry sparkled at my ears and throat. On the other hand, I also wore silver vambraces buckled on my lower arms, and a shining sword at my waist. I was aware that the effect was an odd mix of feminine grace and masculine might, but I had no intention of going into an unfamiliar situation defenseless.

  Loki looked suitably impressed, although I did detect a smirk at the corner of his mouth when he took in my sword. Nevertheless, he was all manners as he took my arm and whisked me to the fabled halls of Valhalla.

  As the mist of travel cleared, I found myself standing in a large, fire-lit hall with Loki at my side. At a high dais in front of me, the king of the Norse gods was seated on a heavy wooden throne. A tall, graceful goddess stood beside him with golden hair tumbling down her back. On both sides of me were rows of stocky warriors clad in furs, leather, and weapons of all sizes. Startled, I realized that most of the warriors were mortal, not gods. Interesting. So Valhalla was not the exclusive province of immortals, as Olympus was.

  Beside me, Loki looked at his king and gestured to me as he rattled off an introduction in Norse so quickly that I had trouble following. I made a small bow at the end. Odin sat totally still on his throne, studying me with his lone eye, no smile of welcome on his face. The goddess standing beside him made up for it, however, bestowing me with a glowing smile.

  Loki gestured towards her. “Frigg, our queen,” he said. Frigg nodded at me encouragingly.

  Odin gestured for me to come forward. I walked up the steps of the dais. His eye fell to the sword at my side and then flicked back up to my face. It was time to deal with him myself, but my limited Norse put me at a disadvantage.

  Placing a hand to my breast, I projected the picture of myself arrayed in my armor, with my father Zeus standing at my side, holding one of his thunderbolts. Odin nodded at me to keep going. I then started filling in the rest of the gods in the picture. First, Hera, lovely and regal, wearing the diadem of queen-hood. Then Ares, Aphrodite, and the others. I let the picture of my family fade and replaced it with a picture of Athens, then the other parts of Greece. Finally, I took a deep breath and took a chance, projecting a picture of Odysseus’s ship beached on their shores, while its crew stumbled around, looking as if they were dying of thirst. At the end, I spread my hands and said in Norse, “That is why I’m here.”

  Odin and Frigg glanced at each other. Behind me, I heard the low murmur of voices by those who could pick up on my projections. Odin stood up (another huge man!) and rattled off a string of Norse to the audience behind me. Fixing his lone eye back on me, he projected an image of barrels being delivered to the shipwrecked crew. I relaxed, thankful that this forbidding king did not see us as a threat. I bowed to him and Frigg, who stepped forward and took my hand. She drew me to one side, towards a trestle table groaning with food and flagons of wine. I threw a glance over my shoulder at Loki, who nodded back at me.

  Frigg proved to be a warm soul, plying me with food and drink with her own hands. Around me, the noise level in the hall rose as everyone returned to informality. Seated at the high table with Frigg, I studied the hall and its inhabitants.

  The main hall was immense, the end of it disappearing into a point in the distance, almost as though it had no end at all. Long trestle tables were set down its length, used as serving tables or cleared to become gaming tables. Thousands of warriors, both male and female, sat at the tables, feasting or dicing while others met up in the empty center aisle to wrestle or spar good naturedly. Muscles and golden mugs flashed in the firelight. The overall effect was of celebration, but in an unrestrained, masculine way. The only feminine touches were the rich tapestries on the walls, and the female servers flitting around in loose hair and embroidered gowns, topping up mugs of beer and flirting boldly with the men.

  My eyes fell on Loki, who had seated himself a few feet away from me with a musclebound, blonde hulk. Frigg’s eyes followed mine. “My son, Thor.” Thor must have felt my gaze on him, because his clear blue eyes swung my way. I caught my breath as his gaze tangled with mine. Thor was a golden beauty, and he knew it, too, because a teasing smile curved his lips as he appraised me openly. Next to him, Loki turned to look my way as well. Dark contrasted against the gold, but wasn’t nearly as good looking. I smiled at them both, determined to stay on even footing.

  Frigg placed a gentle hand on mine. “We do not have a warrior goddess here, although mortal women do fight as shield maidens.”

  “For us, it is the opposite. We have a warrior goddess, but mortal women do not generally fight. I have a brother who is also our god of war.”

  “A god and goddess of war? Doesn’t that get confusing?”

  “In the beginning, absolutely,” I answered with a rueful smile. “We eventually settled on a distinction that works for both of us. Ares is the god of physical battle, while I focus on military strategy. That makes sense, as I’m also the goddess of wisdom and I would rather win a battle through tactics than bloodshed. Still, I can swing a sword with the best of them,” I added hurriedly. It would not hurt to be seen as a competent fighter by such a strong warrior culture.

  “That sounds a bit like my boys. Loki is not my natural son. I took him in when his parents died, so they grew up as brothers,” replied Frigg, her soft eyes resting on her sons. “Thor is the warrior, Loki the scholar. It is no secret that everybody prefers Thor because his talents are obvious. Still, only a fool would discount Loki’s intelligence. In combination, they would be unbeatable, but they argue more often than not.” Frigg shot me a sideways smile. “I suppose this is normal for siblings.”

  I smiled back at her, filing away her observations. When I looked back at the hall, Loki and Thor had risen to their feet and were moving in our direction.

  “Mother. Lady, it is a pleasure to have you here in Valhalla,” said Thor, stopping in front of me with a bow.

  “It is an honor to meet all of you. Your hospitality is most appreciated, as is your offer to help my people,” I said, meeting and holding the gaze of each of the three gods. “I hope that our two peoples can find ways to engage in friendship, and perhaps even in trade.”

  “It is my hope also,” Thor responded, gracing me with an intimate smile. My smile never faltered, though I was not impressed with his brazenness.

  “What do your people trade in?” asked Loki. I rattled off a list of goods that my city specialized in, as Loki and his mother listened.

  “The quality of your furs is outstanding,” I said, nodding towards the silver fur edging Thor’s cloak. “And the embroidery on your gown is exquisite, your Majesty,” I added turning back to Frigg. “We would be interested in trading both. But I’m ignorant of the difficulties of travelling between Norseland and Greece. We’re a seagoing people, but perhaps in this case it might be easier to travel overland?”

  Loki swung himself down to sit beside me. “We are seagoing, as well. I suspect your land is well beyond our range today, but we are an adventuresome people and we can easily set up an exploratory expedition. We can also consider meeting at a midway point, perhaps in Galicia.” I felt a flush of excitement. I had no clue where Galicia was, either, but I would f
ind out.

  Thor exploded in laughter. “That’s my brother. A dreamer to the core. I leave you in safe hands, my Lady,” he bowed formally to me, seasoning it with a wink as he straightened. Loki gazed after him with a hint of irritation.

  “Would you like to see a map of Norseland, Lady Athena?” he turned to me smoothly. “It may stir some ideas.”

  “I would like that very much.”

  “I will let you two get on with it, then,” said Frigg. “Make sure that you stay with Athena, Loki. Some of our guests can get very unruly,” she added in an aside to me.

  “Of course, Mother,” responded Loki. “I will show her around and then escort her back to her people’s camp.”

  Frigg kissed me on both cheeks rather unexpectedly and whispered, “Please do come back to visit us. It has been very educational for me to talk to an immortal from another land.”

  “And for me, as well,” I said. “I thank you for your hospitality.” Frigg graced me with a warm smile and turned to glide back to her husband’s side.

  “Shall we?” came Loki’s voice from behind me.

  “We shall,” I said. I followed him to the end of the hall and then out the nearest door, dodging a few overexcited drunks along the way. I found myself in a dimly lit gallery, wooden walls rising on my right side. On my left was a banister, on the other side a star-filled darkness. A cold breeze ruffled the wisps of hair that curled about my face. I shivered in the sudden chill, pulling my shawl closer. Loki noticed my discomfort and unsnapped the heavy, gold clasp of his cloak before draping it over my shoulders.

  “Thank you.” I pulled the edges of the cloak closed. “Greece is generally warm, so I don’t have much tolerance for the cold.”