My Life as Athena: The Private Memoirs of a Greek Goddess

by Daphne Ignatius

“You’re lucky that you’ve arrived in our summer, then. Our winters are most harsh, and summer does not last very long,” he said as he escorted me down to the end of the gallery before opening a heavy, bronze-inlaid door.

  I slipped through the doorway ahead of him. It was a comfortable bedchamber, a fire burning merrily in the small fireplace at the end of it. I was a little disconcerted that Loki had brought me to a private chamber, but I had no idea of the customs in this land, so I didn’t make a fuss.

  Loki bustled to a shelf containing a stack of scrolls and fished through them. I took the moment to look around the room. The stone walls were insulated with rich tapestries, and a thin rug took the chill off the floor. The furniture was heavy and ornately carved with outlandish creatures. A thick bedspread covered the sturdy bedstead in a corner of the room.

  Loki found the scroll he was looking for, unrolling it as he moved towards the table in front of the fire. I joined him, unclasping his cloak from my throat and laying it over the back of one of the chairs.

  “Here, this is Norseland,” he said, pointing to the map. The edges of Norseland were very irregular, and the lines of the drawing faded away into nothingness towards the bottom of the scroll. Norse symbols decorated the map, which Loki interpreted for me.

  “Here are the mountains that separate our land from Galicia. These mountains are extremely difficult to cross, which is why I don’t think overland travel will work for trade purposes. This is where I think your country is.” Loki pointed to a large empty space on the map.

  “Do you have something that I can draw on?” I asked. Loki nodded and went back to his shelf, returning with a small piece of parchment and a quill.

  Quickly, I sketched a map of Greece, and the lands that I knew about. The pillars of Heracles, Crete, Lavinium, Troy, and my best guess as to where Egypt was. I laid my small parchment in the area where Loki had indicated he thought Greece was.

  “The pillars of Heracles are the entrance to the Mediterranean. My guess is that the pillars are south of the land that you call Galicia. If we extend the lines of your map and mine, they meet somewhere here.” I was hesitant to draw on his map, not knowing if he had other copies available to him.

  “In this room, both our worlds just got bigger,” he said in a low voice, regarding the map.

  “How true.”

  Loki turned his head to regard me, then leaned forward to kiss my lips. Startled, I didn’t respond. He pulled back.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve never met a foreign goddess before. I was merely curious.”

  Standing there, I realized that I had never met a foreign god before. And had definitely never kissed one.

  “I’m curious, as well,” I admitted softly. “But in my land, I am a goddess who’s not supposed to…” I didn’t know the correct word, so I flashed an explicit picture into his head, flushing in embarrassment as I did so. For a moment, Loki looked surprised and enlightened, but then a sly smile curved his lips.

  “How would anyone know?” he asked. I caught my breath. It has been a millennium since my dalliance with Hades, and I had to admit that Loki’s offer was tempting. But just not tempting enough to jeopardize our budding alliance. Feigning regret, I declined, a decision that Loki accepted with surprising grace. We turned our attention back to the map as he began to sketch in the most probable route to Greece.

  Odin was as good as his word. Two days later, a contingent of tall, burly, and mostly fair-haired men appeared on the beach, with barrels of salted meat and fresh water on their backs. I had given Odysseus warning, so they were prepared. Although the two sets of men could not understand each other, sign language served well enough. With the Norsemen’s help, Odysseus launched back out into the unknown to find his way home. It took him many years and many adventures before he finally made his way back to Ithaca and won back his kingship and his beloved Penelope. As for me, as soon as Odysseus and his men set sail, I lost the ability to visit Norseland.

  Expansion

  With the fall of Troy, the Age of Heroes came to an end, and the Iron Age began. Greece underwent a spectacular expansion at this time, not just commercially and militarily, but in ideas, as well. There was a sudden wellspring of what we call civilization today: in philosophy, in self-organization, and in government.

  Crete, on the other hand, was fading. The Mycenaean civilization on Crete made the city-states of Greece look positively archaic. They had true oceangoing ships that had ventured beyond the warm waters of the Mediterranean, and returned with loads of copper from distant lands. This allowed them to become the primary supplier of bronze in the area, and brought them tremendous wealth. I had visited Knossos at the height of its glory, and it set the standard for what Athens could be. Crete’s snake goddess, Asa-sara, was a regal immortal who reminded me much of Hera. She welcomed me with dignity and graciously agreed to an alliance. Then, Thera happened.

  Knossos was destroyed by the tidal wave generated when Thera exploded, and was rebuilt. Barely a hundred years later, it burned down to the ground and was rebuilt again, but on a much smaller scale. The Mycenaean people grew nervous and began losing faith in Asa-sara. They held on for a few hundred years, but the damage to their confidence had been done and their civilization rapidly lost ground. The death knell sounded when their artisans and shipwrights began immigrating to healthier cities, taking their knowledge of engineering and shipbuilding with them.

  Greece was more than happy to welcome them, and the infusion of knowledge sparked an expansion that lasted a thousand years. But as we rose, Crete declined. The last time I saw Asa-sara, she was barely more powerful than an elemental, her majesty drained. It was a chilling reminder of our dependence on humans.

  As Greece rose, so did a little settlement on the banks of the Tiber. Aphrodite’s son Aeneas had wandered around the Mediterranean for many years before marrying a Latin chieftain’s daughter. The couple founded a small seaport called Lavinium, which quickly flourished. Their descendants moved up the Tiber and founded a town in a hilly region; that town eventually became Rome, the eternal city.

  My son Erichthonius presided over Athens’ expansion with wisdom and grace. However, as Isis had theorized, he did age faster than me and soon looked older than I did. After a century in power, he abdicated in favor of his son. Erichthonius then retired to his father’s realm and became a judge in the Underworld, where his power of lie detection was put to good use. Since he was still technically alive, he was not bound to the Underworld and so travelled happily between the various realms as he pleased.

  A thousand years passed in a blink for me. Athens rose to the height of its power. A building spree occurred that allowed the city to expand well past its original city walls. Greek sailors travelled further and further afield, having lost their fear of deep water, thanks to the skills of the Mycenaean shipwrights. The original Greek alliance at Troy inspired new ones as the various city-states organized. Art thrived as the common people acquired enough wealth to become patrons in their own right.

  As Greece expanded, so did I. Olympus had become rather crowded as the original Olympians reproduced. It was challenging to keep all these young immortals busy (I would not have been surprised if someone had been named the God of Sneezes), and the constant jockeying for position turned my stomach. So, I travelled. I was able to visit Lavinium, Syracuse, Tyre, Carthage, and finally Egypt, where Isis welcomed me happily. Egypt was everything Isis had said and more. I spent months travelling the black and red lands with her, absorbing the variety of cultures and gods that I encountered.

  It was inevitable that Greece’s success would draw covetous eyes our way. The Persian Empire came knocking on our door and Ares, Enyo, and I went to work. That seemed to inspire others to attack on other fronts, but each time, the city-states allied and fought together to repel them. And then, Alexander of Macedon was born.

  Alexander

  My first experience with young Alexander was when Aristotle left Athens. When a star philosopher vanishes, I g
et involved. I tracked Aristotle to Macedonia, and sure enough, King Phillip had imported him to educate his son Alexander. The boy himself was a pimply fellow. Skinny, all knees, but with a head of rather nice, golden hair. I departed Macedonia, unimpressed.

  Two years later, Hermes told Zeus that there was a teenage prince in Macedonia claiming to be his son. Zeus denied it vehemently, and I believed him, as my father had always claimed his offspring. It’s dangerous to lie about being the son of a god, much less the King of Heaven, so my father dispatched me to determine whether Alexander should be destroyed with a well-placed thunderbolt.

  I took on the form that I had used many times in the streets of Athens: that of a middle-aged man, average in every way. I trailed Alexander for two days, watching him from afar as he conversed with Aristotle, arguing his points with passion. Alexander had grown into his body nicely, and it was plain to see that he got plenty of exercise as he now possessed the Greek ideal of a golden, toned body. Again, I didn’t see anything special, so I discounted him as a harmless boy and prepared to depart. Imagine my surprise when he picked me out.

  “You there!” Alexander was alone in the courtyard, waiting for Aristotle to arrive for their daily session. “Come here!” This was in a peremptory tone, by someone who was used to being deferred to. Mindful of my role, I walked towards Alexander, holding back the urge to smite him.

  “You do not walk like a servant,” he observed, his clear blue eyes firmly fixed on me.

  “That’s because I’m a free man, not a slave, my prince,” I responded. “A full citizen of Macedon.”

  Alexander considered me for a moment and then jerked his chin in dismissal. I bowed deeply and turned to walk away.

  “Halt!” I groaned internally and turned once more.

  “I don’t believe you. You’ve been watching me. Are you a spy?”

  My eyebrows shot up. He had just impressed me, most unwillingly. This was more than just the average teenage boy.

  “Yes, I am.” I smiled at him and let my glamour drop. I then added a gentle breeze to ruffle my clothes and hair for some added style. The effect I had was most rewarding, as I watched his mouth drop.

  “Lady! Goddess Athena!” The boy pulled himself together and bowed deeply. “I’m honored!”

  “Don’t be,” I replied. “I am here on Zeus’s behalf. He has heard of your false claims of being his son.” Alexander blanched. I walked towards him. “Didn’t you think we would hold you to account for lying so blatantly?”

  “Lady, I’m sorry! I simply needed to set myself apart!”

  Deciding that he had learned his lesson, I chose to give him leave this once. “There will be no consequences this time, but remember the legends.” I raised one finger in front of his face. “Hubris is the reason most of the great heroes fell. Mind that you do not fall into that trap.” I turned and walked away without waiting for an answer.

  “Please wait, Lady!’ I paused mid-step and turned back to face him.

  “I have heard that you often championed the heroes of old: Heracles, Perseus, Odysseus,” he said, with a charming gravity. “What must I do to earn your patronage?” I chuckled. The young whelp was audacious, if nothing else.

  “Certainly not by lying about your parentage. I favor intelligence, a strong sense of honor, and an adventurous spirit.” Audacity doesn’t hurt either, I added silently. “Show me that you have brains in addition to brawn, and we shall see.”

  He bowed again, this time with real grace. “I will, Lady. I will earn your regard. And don’t worry, I won’t claim to be divine again.”

  “That story is out already,” I said with a shrug. “All you need do is look mysterious, and people will believe it.”

  “I have many ambitions, Lady. What other counsel would you give, to help me become successful?”

  I regret to say that I put little thought into my answer. “Keep moving. If they can’t catch you, they can’t defeat you,” I tossed out flippantly, and vanished without further ado.

  The next I heard of Alexander was a few years later when his father, King Phillip, was mysteriously assassinated. Alexander took the throne and started moving on the rest of Greece.

  Many of us on Olympus were fascinated by the young king. Strong, lean, and beautiful of face, he was the epitome of the legendary heroes. He had certainly learned his lessons from Aristotle well, because he moved to consolidate his power quickly. City after city fell to him, and to make a long story short, I did indeed become his patron. I never did anything directly to change the outcome of a battle or make his endeavors any easier. He needed to earn his victories, after all. But an occasional hand on the neck of his horse to calm it, so that he could make his shot; a steadying hand on his javelin as he aimed; a soft touch on his shoulder to let him know I was there… That was all that was needed. The rest was all Alexander.

  As the young king moved beyond Greece and turned his eyes towards Persia, I was delighted. I liked the symmetry of it: payback for their attempted invasion centuries before. However, my power waned the further Alexander moved from Greece, and I was less able to help him. My involvement was reduced to counsel and strategy. That suited me fine, as I had always held that mortals should accomplish things on their own rather than relying on divine intervention.

  As Alexander conquered new lands, he left instructions to build temples for us before moving on. This was canny, as he did it to ensure our continued support. He never forced his new subjects to convert, though some did, so there was an uptick in the power flowing to us. Zeus sat up and took notice, as our range and influence expanded. He eventually threw his full might behind Alexander, and the victories mounted at a steady clip.

  Things became complicated when Egypt’s time came. We’d had a longstanding alliance with Isis, and this was the first time we were pitted against a deity we actually knew and liked. Ambition warred with honor. As I had the strongest relationship with Isis within the family, my father sent me to parlay with her.

  I fidgeted as I sat in the courtyard of Isis’s temple at Philae, waiting for her to arrive. I had stayed here centuries before, and it was utterly uncomfortable being in this position now. When Isis made her appearance, gliding towards me with her customary grace, it was with a strained smile.

  “Sister, welcome.” Her voice was a tad stiff as we embraced in greeting.

  “Thank you for seeing me, Isis,” I said as we sat. Her priestesses bustled about us, setting down small dishes of delicacies and pouring wine. “I know this is a difficult time for you.”

  She nodded, not contradicting me. “I will get to the point. I am holding you to our alliance,” she said. “King Alexander will be on our doorstep soon. I want you to change his mind and turn him away from us.”

  If a goddess could sweat, I would have broken into one at that point. “King Alexander is a very ambitious mortal. I don’t know if we can promise that.”

  Isis’s eyes narrowed. “Get into his mind, if you have to. But that is what I require.”

  “This is what I’m prepared to offer right now,” I replied. “We, the Greek gods, will withdraw our support from King Alexander if he invades Egypt. We will stand aside. He will have to fight without our support, counsel, or any other aid. We will, of course, not object to you supporting your armies as you normally do.”

  Isis unbent slightly. “Interesting proposition. But I would rather avoid the conflict altogether. It is harvest time, and my people are busy in the fields. If a war occurs, the harvest will wither in the fields and my people will starve in the dry season. No, Alexander must not come here.”

  “We have had a long and prosperous alliance, Isis,” I replied. “And we do not want to lose your friendship. I will speak to my father about your requirements. I have come to know Alexander, and it will take Zeus himself to change his will. I will return in two days with his answer.”

  Isis nodded and stood, signaling that our visit was at an end. “I look forward to hearing the outcome.”

 
“Alexander wants Egypt’s wealth badly,” said Zeus as he popped an olive into his mouth. We sat at a trestle table in his garden, with snacks and a pitcher of wine set out between us. “Can you blame him? It is a real prize.”

  “Their gods are also very powerful,” I reminded him. “They are not merely elementals. Even if Alexander does take Egypt, he’ll have to spend the rest of his life trying to hold it. Father, there are plenty of other lands that he can target. He can keep moving east towards India, rather than turning south.”

  Zeus shook his head. “It’s Egypt’s wealth and prestige that Alexander’s after. He won’t stop until he has taken it.”

  “Even if you tell him that you won’t support him?”

  Zeus smiled a crooked grin. “That boy has the hubris of a god! I do believe he thinks that he conquered Persia all on his own.”

  “The Egyptian gods are too firmly entrenched in that land. And there are so many other gods and cultures already in place. We won’t be able to pick up many worshippers there, so the advantage to us is low. On the other hand, the Egyptian gods have been good allies, and our peoples have both profited from the relationship. Why risk that now?”

  Zeus spread his hands. “I agree with you, Athena. There is no use trying to convince me, because I’m already convinced. The boy is the problem, not me!”

  “And you don’t have the power to convince him? Force him, if you have to?”

  Zeus popped another olive into his mouth. “I will try. But I won’t tamper with his mind. We need him intact for the long run.”

  When I saw my father the next day, he was irritated.

  “He wouldn’t agree. He actually had the hubris to say that he would win Egypt, with or without my help.” My father’s eyes narrowed. “Perhaps he needs a lesson in humility.”

  “What do you want me to tell Isis?” I asked.