5d6 (Caverns and Creatures)

by Robert Bevan

  Kristanya pulled off her gloves, one at a time, setting them on the table next to the bed. Her fingernails were at least an inch and a half long, obsidian black, and pointed. Cooper imagined them tearing down his back, shredding his kidneys while he blew his load.

  Next she removed her hat, revealing a set of what looked like black ram's horns which the hat had been specifically designed to conceal. Something to hold on to.

  She spread her arms and smiled at Payne. “What do you think?”

  Payne was trembling with anticipation. “Take off your coat.” His voice was shaky, like he was testing the waters to see if following orders was something she was into.

  “I'm not wearing a coat,” she said. “I'm not wearing anything at all.” Her red eyes glowed brighter as her teeth seemed to grow sharper. The black leather which covered her body spread apart at the middle, becoming immediately recognizable as a giant pair of bat wings. They opened slowly, revealing her body from the top down. First, those perfect breasts, like a pair of honeydews with nipples. Then her navel, like a tiny cup waiting to be filled with splooge. Finally, the biggest blackest cock Cooper had ever seen. It was covered in scales, barbed at the end, and squirmed around like a blind snake.

  “The fuck?” Cooper snapped out of what seemed like a lucid dream. Everything was just as it was, but his interpretation was different. Even though what he'd mistaken as a big black snake dick actually turned out to be a tail, and even though she still had a great set of tits, he was suddenly not quite as convinced that he wanted his dick near her. The skulls all over the walls now seemed off putting, as did his memory of fantasizing about her shredding his kidneys only a moment ago.

  “Cooper,” whispered Julian, who had just inched his way next to him.

  Cooper rubbed his temples as the sanity filtered back into his brain.

  “Are you... all there?”

  “I think so.”

  “Good. Just keep acting normal until we figure out our next move.”

  Cooper nodded. “I think that woman had me under some kind of spell.”

  “I don't think she's a woman.”

  Cooper laughed. “I made the same mistake. Look again. That was her tail.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Huh? Nothing. Go on with what you were saying.”

  “I think she's a succubus,” said Julian. “I've read about them before. If they're anything in the game like they are in the books I've read, we're in some deep shit. We need to get Tim and Dave and find a way out of –”

  “Shut up for a second.” Cooper appreciated the gravity of their situation, but he also appreciated that there would only be a limited number of opportunities in his life to be able to watch a demon chick go down on a dude.

  Kristanya didn't seem the submissive type, but she was down on her knees in front of Payne, taking his cock into her mouth. Payne lasted about twenty seconds before Cooper recognized the shudder and sigh of premature release.

  Cooper shook his head. “Dude didn't even grab her by the horns.”

  But Kristanya didn't stop. Either Cooper had been mistaken in his interpretation, or Kristanya thought Payne might have one more in the chamber. She went at him harder now, wings flapping and tail whipping around as she dug her claws into his ass cheeks and pushed him further into her mouth.

  Payne's moans changed in a way that made it difficult for Cooper to enjoy the spectacle, but at least he finally put his hands on her horns.

  “Atta boy, Payne.”

  “I don't think you're fully understanding what's happening right now,” said Julian.

  “Huh?” Cooper tried to take in the scene more objectively, and saw that Payne was trying to push Kristanya's head away. “Oh shit. Should we –”

  Payne filled the chamber with a horrible scream, the echoes of which continued to reverberate as the scream itself faded. His hair turned white, and his skin grew dry and brittle until it started to flake off.

  Cooper frowned. “Probably too late to step in at this point.”

  “We need to think of something fast,” said Julian.

  When Payne's withered husk of a body collapsed into a pile of dry skin and bones, Kristanya got to her feet and wiped the corners of her mouth with the back of her hand.

  “Who's next?”

  Tim and Dave's hands shot up immediately. Then Julian raised his hand.

  “Dude,” said Cooper. “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to buy us more time. Raise your hand.”

  Trusting that Julian was aware that Cooper didn't want his life forced sucked out through the cock, he followed Julian's lead.

  “However should I choose?” said Kristanya, pacing nakedly among them. The tip of her tail ran through Tim's hair. “Should I start with the smallest and work my way up?”

  “Yes!” Tim yipped like a puppy.

  Kristanya turned her attention to Dave and ran the tip of her tail through his beard. “Or the hairiest?”

  “Please!” Dave fluffed out his beard to make it look even bigger and bushier. “I'll bury you in my beard.”

  Kristanya walked to Cooper, sneaking her tail up under his loincloth. While he was terrified of having any part of her near his junk, he'd have been lying if he said he didn't find it at least a little arousing. She smiled at him with decidedly terrifying pointed teeth. “Or the dirtiest?”

  “Oh yeah,” said Cooper, trying to sound convincing. “I'll, um... take a shit on your tits.”

  Kristanya's tail pulled out from under Cooper's loincloth. Her smile faltered and her glowing eyes dimmed. Tim and Dave glared at Cooper like he was cramping their style.

  “I know!” said Julian. “We could fight for the honor!”

  That put the terrifying smile back on Kristanya's face and the shine back in her demon eyes.

  “Excellent idea!” She beat her bat wings hard, lifting herself off the floor, and flew to a throne made of femurs, and decorated on the back with a fan of ribs.

  Cooper was thankful that Julian had bailed him out, and relieved that he seemed to be initiating some sort of plan. When he judged Kristanya to be far enough away, he whispered, “Okay, cool. So what are we doing?”

  Julian shrugged. “I was just stalling for more time.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Rule one,” said Tim. He and Dave had joined Julian and Cooper's huddle. “Everyone's going to get their turn, so no kicking in the nuts. Agreed?”

  Dave nodded. “Good idea. Mine are about to explode.”

  “Maybe we should do this tournament style,” Julian suggested. “Tim faces off against Dave, and I'll fight Cooper. Then the winners fight each other.”

  Tim looked Cooper up and down, then looked back at Julian. “That sounds fair.”

  “Let the fight begin!” announced Kristanya.

  Tim, utilizing his high Dexterity score and his apparent training in Taekwondo, immediately launched his foot into Dave's nuts. Dave fell forward, howling in pain and grasping his genitals, but incapacitating Tim with sheer weight.

  Julian lunged at Cooper, but it felt more like a hug than a wrestling move. Pulling Cooper's head toward his own, he whispered, “We need to get the key. Wrestle me toward the nightstand next to the bed.”

  Cooper gave Julian a slight nod to show he understood what the goal was, then picked him up and gently body-slammed him onto the floor a few feet in the direction of the nightstand.

  Julian cried out in obviously fake pain, then sprang to his feet. He grabbed Cooper's wrist, twisted it behind his back, and jumped up for a from-behind stranglehold.

  “You need to sell it better,” Julian whispered into Cooper's ear. “Make her think you really hate me. Throw me at the table, then come in and attack me.”

  “Roar!” Cooper said as he gently tossed Julian toward the nightstand. Then he ran at him and stomped on the floor as he pretended to punch Julian in the chest. “Can you smell what the orc is cooking?” If it was good enough to fool white trash America, it
should be good enough to fool a demon bitch from hell.

  Julian glanced in Kristanya's direction, then looked up into Cooper's eyes and shook his head.

  “She's not buying it,” Julian whispered. “Put a little more feeling into it.” He got to his feet, grabbed Cooper by the arm, and pulled him in the direction of the nightstand.

  Cooper took the hint and followed through on being an unlikely victim of Judo. “MY HEAVENS!” he shouted as he jumped toward the nightstand and pretended to lay temporarily incapacitated on the floor. He chanced a glance at Kristanya. She was standing up in front of her throne and eyeing him suspiciously.

  When Julian got up in his face again, he whispered, “I don't think she's buying this.”

  “I know,” said Julian. “Your Bluff check is based on your Charisma score. I'm sorry.”

  If Cooper understood him correctly, that would be more his fault than Julian's. “For what?”

  “Fuck you! She's mine!” cried Julian, just before driving his knee into Cooper's goods.

  “Cooper cradled his nuts with both hands. “What the fuck, dude? I thought –”

  Julian slapped him hard in the face. “You don't think, you maggot-brained imbecile!” SLAP “Your head is more vacuous than an empty Bag of Holding!” SLAP “If brain cells were platinum pieces, you wouldn't be able to afford a handjob from a leprous hobo!”

  “Dude,” said Cooper. “First of all, stop slapping me. Secondly, why would I want –”

  As Julian's hand drew back to slap Cooper again, Cooper felt a searing pain in his left thigh.

  “FUCK!” Cooper cried. Instinctively reacting to the only threat he could see, he backhanded Julian in the side of his head, sending him flying back toward the magic door. The pain failed to subside.

  Looking down, Cooper found Tim coughing and gagging, and found a crescent of tooth-marks on his thigh which looked disturbingly childlike.

  Tim went for an uppercut to Cooper's nuts, but Cooper caught his wrist and threw him across the room. Tim hit the wall and landed sprawled out on Kristanya's bed.

  Cooper took a little time to catch his breath and come to terms that all of his friends had gone batshit crazy on him, when he heard a slow clap.

  “You have done well, Cooper,” said Kristanya. “Congratulations.”

  Cooper turned to her. Her red eyes glowed brighter than any of the skull candles, her needle-toothed grin more sinister than ever. Still, nice tits.

  Dave was still awake, cradling his nuts on the floor. Julian lay still near the door. Cooper wondered if he'd hit him just a little too hard. Tim was stirring, but not looking too hot.

  Kristanya rose from her femur throne. “It would appear we have a winner.” Her right eye stopped glowing temporarily as she winked at him. “If I'm honest, I was hoping it would be you.”

  “Oh?” Cooper was in a position to take flattery wherever he could get it. “Why's that?”

  “To get you out of the way, of course.” Kristanya stood up, opened her wings, then flapped toward him. “I want to save the elf for last.”

  That sounded fair to Cooper. If he had to choose between fucking Julian and fucking a clone of himself, it wouldn't be a choice at all. But after a moment of further reflection, coming to terms with what it meant to be the last man standing in this particular scenario, the backhanded compliment felt somehow even emptier.

  Kristanya's wings flapped gently, then folded as she landed in front of him. “Reveal yourself to me.”

  Cooper backed away from her. “Maybe we should take things slowly.”

  “My body yearns to have yours inside it.” Kristanya pushed her breasts together, drawing the full scope of Cooper's gaze toward them. He'd lived a good life, and there were worse ways to go.

  “No!” cried Cooper, slapping himself in the face to free his mind from Kristanya's tit sorcery. “I've lived a shitty life. I don't want this.”

  “The bulge under your loincloth says differently.”

  She made a solid point. Cooper's mind was unable to communicate the dangers of this situation to his dick, which pointed at her bosom like it was presenting its own side of the argument.

  Cooper tried to take another step back, but something snaked around his ankle. As soon as he looked down and identified it as Kristanya's tail, it pulled back hard, landing Cooper on his back.

  It was a hard fall, and the back of Cooper's head hurt. When his suddenly doubled vision sorted itself out, he was staring down at his flabby chest and belly, then at his dick trying hard to break through his loincloth. It looked like a wigwam in a wasteland.

  A second later, his entire field of vision was filled with Kristanya's horrifying face. Her eyes were practically fireballs now. Her forked tongue flicked between her needle-like teeth. She'd pounced on top of him, pinning his shoulders to the floor.

  “You will give me your seed!” The playful flirtiness was gone from her voice. She'd gone full-on rapist.

  Cooper struggled to move his arms, finding Kristanya surprisingly strong for her build. But as she slid her body down his bringing her head down toward his junk, she sacrificed her arms' leverage on him. He bent his elbows, bringing his hands up under her arms, and grabbed her horns.

  “No means no, lady,” said Cooper. “And if I'm being honest, you're giving off kind of a desperate vibe.”

  Kristanya's claws dug deep into Cooper's forearms as she tried to wrest his hands from her horns. He felt her tail release its grip on his ankle. Taking whatever advantage he could get, he pushed ineffectively with his feet as well, but then felt the tail wrap tightly around his neck and start to constrict. If it weren't for the certainty of death at the end, this all might have been even more arousing.

  With all the breath his lungs were able to squeeze out through his collapsing windpipe, Cooper spoke what he hoped weren't his last words. “I'm... really... angry.”

  The pain seared through his arms as his muscles expanded into her still-digging claws. His head felt like it might burst as his neck tried to force itself out against her tail's grip.

  Cooper released Kristanya's horns and pulled his arms free of her grip. Kristanya hovered above him as far up as her tail tether on his neck would allow, taking in his body, transformed as it was by his Barbarian Rage.

  “Yes!” she cried in ecstasy. She smeared Cooper's arm blood across her breasts. “So much anger! So much passion! So much – YAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOW!”

  Cooper had grabbed her tail with both hands and torn out a large chunk of it with his teeth. Her tail immediately loosened, and she flew out of his reach.

  Able to breathe again, Cooper spat out flesh, blood, and scales, then sucked in as much air as he could. He looked for something to throw. At first glance, all he could come up with was Tim. Even with his mind clouded by Rage, he knew that wasn't an ideal option. Then he considered the bed itself. If he could tear off one of those big-ass ribs, he might have the reach to swat that demon bitch out of the air.

  He ran to the bed and grabbed a post.

  “Cooper,” Tim whispered, apparently only faking unconsciousness.

  Cooper punched him in the face, knocking him out for real. It was for his own good. As long as he was still trying to get blown to death, he was a liability.

  His limited attention back on the massive bone bedpost, Cooper grunted as he wrenched it free from the rest of the frame.

  It was by no means an elegant weapon, but it had the reach he needed.

  Still cradling her wounded tail, Kristanya dodged Cooper's wild bone swings at her.

  A wave of exhaustion, clearness of mind, and flatulence washed over Cooper, and the bone suddenly felt much heavier in his hands. He collapsed as he farted out the last of his Barbarian Rage.

  “Ungrateful beast!” cried Kristanya. “You aren't worthy to enter my body!”

  Now they were getting somewhere. Cooper nodded while he caught his breath. “It's not you. It's me.”

  “There are far worse ways to die than at the mercy of a Succu
bus.”

  Cooper wheezed out a laugh. “Like getting hit by a Fuck You Bus?”

  “We'll see how you laugh when I feed you to a horde of quasits! When they begin to devour you, you'll – YOU!”

  That was an odd turn of phrase. Was she stuttering? Cooper looked up to find Kristanya and Julian racing toward the minotaur skull table. Julian just beat her to it, but Kristanya landed right behind him and wrapped her tail around his neck.

  “Give me the gloves,” Kristanya demanded pleasantly, putting out her hand.

  Julian's face was turning red. Not left with a lot of options, he put the gloves in her hand.

  Kristanya smiled. “Very good, Julian. I knew you were my favorite.” She released his neck and he dropped to his knees, gasping for air.

  Cooper finally managed to push the big bone off his chest and sit up.

  “Seems I was careless,” said Kristanya, picking up her hat and placing her gloves inside it. “One must always take care to keep one's valuables in a safe place.”

  Between the tone of her voice, the events of the past hour, and a lack of obvious alternatives which Cooper could readily identify, he half expected her to roll up the whole bundle and shove it up her cooch. He was mildly intrigued by the idea of being able to watch.

  Instead, she snapped her fingers and disappeared. Hat, gloves, demon whore. All of them just gone.

  Julian rushed over to Cooper, looking at the claw wounds on his arms. “Are you okay?”

  Cooper shrugged. “I'll live. I guess, at least until she feeds me to Quasimodo or whatever the fuck she said.”

  The sound of metal scraping against rock came from over where Tim had knocked out Dave.

  “Dave?” Julian called over to him. “Are you okay?”

  Dave stood up. He was wearing his breast and back plates, but was bare-ass naked below the waist. His dwarf dong was fully erect, poking out like a second nose from a bush that was as thick and unkempt as his beard.

  “Where's Kristanya?”

  “Dammit.” Julian shook his head and pointed at the floor in front of Dave. “Horse!”

  The white stallion which appeared seemed somehow surprised to find itself in hell with a half-naked horny dwarf behind it. It kicked Dave right in the nipples of his breastplate, knocking him against the wall and unconscious once again.