An Unexpected Christmas

by Lori Jennings

  Nate took the lead and I followed him up the stairs and down the hallway to his bedroom. I was curious to know what it looked like as it was one of the few rooms I hadn't been in. He pushed the door open and walked in as I stood in the doorway.

  His room was smaller than the one I was staying in but it was much neater than I had thought it could be. In my experience boys' bedrooms were messy but there didn't seem to be anything out of place and I wondered if he had tidied or if he was always so neat. The walls were a pale green and the furniture was all white which seemed to fit in with the rest of the house seaside theme. There was a large photograph hanging on the wall above the bed and I moved into the room to get a better look at it. It was a swirl of greens and purples and pinks - it was stunning.

  Nate had placed the bowl of popcorn on the bedside table and sat himself leaning against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him.

  I placed our glasses on the bedside table closest to me then pointed at the photo. 'Is that the aurora borealis?'

  He twisted around to look at it and smiled. 'Yeah, I took that a couple of years ago when I did some filming in Canada.'

  'You took that?' He just smiled at me. 'It's beautiful. There really isn't much you're not good at is there?' I looked at him and saw that his smile had faded slightly and I wondered why he thought that was a bad thing. I wanted to bring his smile back. 'Well except board games, you're pretty crap at those.'

  He laughed and I felt my relief flood into me. Nate then opened his arms to me and I simply stared at him. He sent me a slightly lopsided smile that was filled with amusement. 'What? You think anyone would disturb us during Doctor Who? They wouldn't dare.'

  I bit nervously on my lower lip, I had been worried that either Ella or Maggie might walk in and see us snuggled up together on the bed and then they would all hate me and I don't think I could live with myself if they thought so bad of me. I knew I wouldn't be able to work with Ella if she hated me and that would mean moving back to my mum and dad's and finding a new job, and I loved my life so much, was I really gambling with it now for just one more day with this man?

  I smiled at him and climbed onto the bed and settled myself into his side. Yes, apparently I was gambling with my future and I took a moment to remember what this felt like.

  'Don't worry so much.' He placed a kiss to my head and snuggled me in closer, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. He lifted the remote for the TV which stood on top of a set of chest of drawers at the end of the bed and flicked to the right channel. We sat in silence and watched the last minute of the current program. It felt so easy, so right to be lying here with him in his room and I thought for a moment that maybe this could work, maybe I was freaking out about nothing. However, in the real world I was not going to fit into his life as a movie star, I would look ridiculous next to him on the red carpet and eventually he would see that too. No, I was just going to enjoy the time I had with him and then walk away, it was for his own good.

  The voice over on the TV announced the start of our programme and I felt Nate's arm tighten around me, I looked up and he smiled down at me an excited look on his face then we both turned and focused our attention on the screen.

  The tears fell silently down my cheeks. My heart hurt and I really needed a drink. I let out a sigh and looked at the man at my side. He was wiping a tear from his own eye while switching off the TV and I sent him a small smile.

  'Well that was a rollercoaster of emotion.' He reached up and wiped away my tears. 'I don't like seeing you cry.'

  I placed my hand on the side of his face and he closed his eyes. I slowly stroked my thumb back and forth implanting this image into my mind. When he opened them again they were darker and looked at me with such intensity. He took my hand from his cheek and held it then leaned over and kissed me, slowly at first and then more urgently, pushing me further down the bed. He moved so he was covering me and I savoured the weight of him. His hand found its way under my jumper and his lips moved to my ear. 'I want you, so much.' I could feel how much through his trousers and I wanted to let him have me, to take me there in his bed, surrounded by his things but then I remembered.

  'How long do you think Ella would wait once the show had finished?' Nate swore then planted a quick kiss to my lips before rolling off me.

  We could then hear her footsteps coming down the hallway and we had just enough time to straighten ourselves up before she had flung the door open and strode into the room. 'God, you both look like someone died.'

  'Someone just might,' Nate muttered, but luckily Ella didn't hear him.

  'It was a pretty traumatic episode and you know what I'm like.' She nodded and then smiled at me. Her right hand was playing with the charm bracelet on her left wrist and I had noticed she had been doing it most of day. I smiled and wondered if she had spoken to Roddy today. I stood up and grabbed her hand. 'I need to talk to you.'

  'You do?' Both Ella and Nate said at the same time and I sent him a wide eyed glare. I pulled on Ella's hand and lead her down the hallway to my room. Once there I closed the door behind us and gestured for her to sit on the bed. I sat next to her and took a deep breath.

  'Have you talked to Roddy today?' She looked down at her bracelet sheepishly then shook her head. 'Ella, Why not?' She shrugged her shoulders. 'You like him?' I asked and her head shot up, she stared at me like a deer that had been caught in a headlight. I corrected myself, 'you do like him. So what is holding you back?'

  'I don't know.' She looked at me, silently asking me to give her the answer to fix it all. I had always been quite good at giving advice to people I was just never good or brave enough to listen to myself. This was no exception.

  'He likes you, clearly he likes you.' I gestured to her bracelet, 'so call him, even if it is to just pop round for a drink. He made quite a big gesture with his gift, so the ball’s in your court as far as I can tell.' I wondered why she hadn't called him yet, she was single and as far as I knew so was he and he seemed like such a nice guy I didn't see what was stopping her. Ella was nodding now and then she stood.

  'You're right, I'm going to call him.' She turned to me and leaned down to kiss my cheek. 'Thanks April.'

  I smiled as she left my room and my hand reached up to my necklace. It was also a big gesture, one that I didn't know how to truly react to. I had never been in this situation before. I had never been in a situation even like this; where I wanted something so much but knew it would never work. Nate and I hadn't declared anything to each other but I also knew it was the closest I had ever been. I knew I loved him, I would be a fool not to but it was all too much too soon. I was undeserving of him, of his generosity and kindness, and it was killing me. I had the sudden urge to run away. To just pack my things and slip away into the night with no word, but that would be too cruel and I wasn't that much of a coward to not end it all properly. Taking a deep breath I stood and moved over to the door and opened it only to be pushed back into the room.

  'Did you tell her?' Nate was smiling down at me; he had closed the door behind himself and looked down at me eagerly waiting for my answer.

  I looked up into his eyes. 'I didn't tell her. I wanted to talk to her about Roddy.'

  'Oh.' He seemed disappointed and a little sad. 'Is she okay?'

  'She will be.' I nodded, and sent him a reassuring smile. I moved to reach for the door handle. 'We should probably head downstairs.'

  'One thing before we do.' He stopped me with a gentle hand on my arm and pulled me to him with a wolfish smile, kissing me deeply and soundly on the lips. 'I need something to get me through the rest of the evening.'

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  April

  Ella had been antsy since she called Roddy and informed me that he was coming round. I had tried to calm her by pouring her a stiff drink and chatting to her. 'So what did you say to Roddy when you called?'

  Ella shuffled in her seat; we were lounging out on the sofa picking at the last few chocolates in one of the tins. 'Well it
was really noisy, he has quite a big family so he apologised then after a few seconds it went quiet and he said he was hiding in the bathroom.' She giggled. 'I thanked him for my bracelet.' She twisted one of the charms between her fingers and smiled.

  'And what did he say?' I couldn't help grinning at her, she looked so happy and excited but her nervousness was still showing.

  'He said that he was glad that I liked it and he had been worried that I wouldn't.' She looked up from her wrist. 'He said that he wanted to get me something meaningful, something that he could add to each year. That's when I invited him round. I needed to see him and I thought because it wasn't as crazy over here as it was there that it would be easier to speak to him alone.'

  Her smile wavered and I could see that she was second guessing her choice in inviting him over. 'That's good. You guys should talk in private,' I sent her a cheeky grin, 'and, you know, kiss in private too.'

  Her eyes widened as did her smile and she playfully pushed me in the arm. 'You are so bad.'

  'I'm not, you know you want to.' I stuck my tongue out at her.

  She let out a dreamy sigh, 'yeah.'

  She looked at me and we both burst into laughter. I hadn't had a really close girl friend before and I realised now that I had found in Ella what I had been missing. We were still laughing when the doorbell rang but the chimes cut though our laughter and Ella stopped to stare at me, all of her nervousness coming back in an instant.

  'Will you get it?' She asked, grabbing my hand and I could feel her twitching her foot nervously next to me.

  Maggie had popped out to visit one of her elderly neighbours and Nate was sitting slumped in my chair, scotch glass dangling from the tips of his fingers, eyes closed and nodding away to whatever it was that was playing on his iPod.

  I smiled at her. 'You want me to answer the door to a house where I am a guest?' I was teasing her and I knew it was mean but I couldn't resist. I had answered the door just yesterday to Roddy and it hadn't felt weird. In fact I felt so at home here it was odd and scary and I knew would just add to the fall out once I had left. I wouldn't be coming back to this amazing place and that feeling sat heavy in the pit of my stomach but I had to suck it up and be happy for Ella.

  'Please,' she whined.

  I laughed and walked out of the room to the front door. Turning the lock I pulled it open and standing in the snow was Roddy looking about as nervous as Ella. I sent him a reassuring smile and stood to one side to let him in.

  'Merry Christmas,’ he said as he moved into the hallway and stamped his feet on the mat.

  'Merry Christmas.' I closed the door behind him, 'are you having a nice day?'

  'It's been good, hoping it's about to get a little better.' He smiled shyly at me and pulled his coat off throwing it over the banister. He was dressed smartly in tailored dark blue trousers and a matching blue shirt and I had to admit he looked good if a little rumpled; it was Christmas Day after all and Ella did mention he had a large family so I couldn't hold it against him.

  'I'm sure it will. Ella is just in here.' He followed me into the living room where Ella was now standing waiting for us. When Ella and Roddy's eyes met I knew that Nate and I disappeared and there was only the two of them.

  'Hi.' Ella moved around the sofa and came to stand in front of him, a small smile on her face. I looked from one to the other and smiled then walked around the sofa and dropped myself back into my seat.

  I turned my head and saw Roddy take a step towards her. 'Hello.' His smile was filled with so much love that I knew they would be alright.

  'How are you?' Ella asked playing with her bracelet but not taking her eyes off his.

  'I'm good; I spent two hours playing dolls with my nieces so your call came just at the right time.' His smile was broad and it lit up is eyes.

  They stood there just looking at each other and the silence built. 'Ella maybe Roddy would like a drink...' I prompted. '...or something to eat? From the kitchen…'

  Ella looked over at me, a blank expression on her face until what I had said sank in. She turned back to Roddy and smiled. 'Yes, you need a drink.' She took his hand and led him away.

  I turned back and settled myself in my seat picking my glass up and taking a sip, smiling and laughing to myself.

  'What's funny?' Nate had removed his headphones and was watching me. He was still slumped in the chair, legs apart and his shirt looked about as rumpled as Roddy's did. I had the overwhelming urge to settle myself in his lap, tuck my head under his chin and close my eyes.

  'Your sister and her new boyfriend.' I took another sip of my champagne. I'm sure Ella and Roddy were getting to know each other on a more intimate level in the kitchen right now and images of my own intimate actions there flooded my mind.

  'New boyfriend? When did that happen?' Nate looked at me quizzically. He was so adorable when he didn't know what was going on and I did.

  'Oh I'm guessing in about thirty seconds.' I smiled at him and he sent me a small smile back. He took a leisurely sip of his scotch then let the glass dangle from his fingers again, swirling the amber liquid around the glass, the glass that I had bought for him and that sight widened my smile. His expression changed and he looked quite serious, I felt my smile waver and a bad feeling began to develop in my stomach.

  'I think we should talk about what happens after today.' The bad feeling that had started was pretty prominent now. 'You go home tomorrow and I'm heading to Miami the day after.' Was he ending it? It would make it simpler even if it did break my heart but it wouldn't be self inflicted and I would have been right, that I wasn't good enough for him. He looked down into his glass as if he was trying to find the right words and they were somewhere at the bottom of his drink. 'I know we haven't known each other very long but I don't want whatever we have to end. I care about you and I know it will be hard being away from each other so early in our relationship but I want to give us a chance.'

  He looked back up at me and waited for my response. I swallowed but my mouth was too dry. I picked up my glass and downed the entire contents then placed it back on the table. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to say those things. I didn't know what to do, or what to say.

  'April?' He leaned forward and placed his glass on the table then stood and moved to my side, sitting on the sofa next to me and taking my hand in his.

  I looked up into his face and I could see the worry there, but there was also hope. What was I doing? How was I going to walk away from him? Maybe we could work? Maybe... I was being silly again, I knew I had to do the right thing and having made my decision I had to stick to it and be strong, for the both of us.

  'Can I think about it?' The words came out of my mouth before I even had a chance to really think about them.

  He brushed his free hand across my cheek and behind my ear and smiled. 'Of course you can.' He glanced at the kitchen door then leaned in and pressed his lips quickly to mine. My eyes closed at his touch and my heart beat faster as it always did when he kissed me. I had to hold back the sadness that came flooding into me with the kiss and when he pulled back and smiled at me the sadness stayed.

  I sent him a small smile then picked my glass back up and showing it to him I slipped my hand from his and stood. 'I need a refill.' I didn't wait for his reaction just made my way out of the living room and into the kitchen.

  When I walked in Ella and Roddy were in each other's arms, kissing. I cleared my throat as loudly as I could and they quickly pulled apart both looking flushed and a little guilty. I couldn't help smiling at them; they did make an adorable couple.

  'Just came in for another drink. Pretend I'm not here.' I moved to the fridge and pulled it open. I pretended to look for something while they whispered and then I pulled out the practically empty bottle of champagne I had been drinking slowly for the past couple of hours. I turned around to pour myself a glass and only Ella was left in the room.

  'Oh, where did Roddy go? I didn't frighten him off did I?'

&nbs
p; Ella grinned at me. 'No, he's just nipped to the bathroom.' She let out a happy sigh and leaned against the counter. I finished pouring my drink then took a big gulp and placed my glass back on the side then noticed that her smile had waivered and she was watching me. 'What's up with you?'

  I sent her an innocent look. 'Nothing.' I smiled then turned to put the bottle back in the fridge. 'So are you going to tell me what happened?'

  She grinned at me and I knew I was safe for a little while. 'April, he said he loves me.'

  I grinned back at her then pulled her into a hug. 'I'm so happy for you. He seems like a genuinely lovely guy.' I ended the hug and moved to pick my glass back up.

  'He really is. He said that he fancied me from the moment he met me and for all these years didn't think I would ever feel the same. Then apparently he spoke to Nate last night and then Daniel told him that he wouldn't know unless he asked, and I am so glad that he did.' She laughed and couldn't stop smiling. 'I love him. I am in love with him and he loves me and it feels wonderful.' She was grinning like a fool and she looked beautiful because of it.

  'I'm really happy for you, both of you.' I couldn't help but be happy for her, she deserved it so much and she was such a good person who deserved all the love she could get. I lifted my glass and took a slightly more lady like sip.

  Ella tilted her head to one side. 'If only I could see you this happy.'

  I looked at her over the top of my glass then slowly lowered it and my gaze. 'I don't think I deserve to be as happy as you are.' I looked back up at her and saw the sadness in her face. I hated myself for breaking through her happiness and poisoning it with my own self doubt. 'Ignore me, I have been reading far too many romance novels.' I smiled at her. 'And I think I have drank too much champagne and not enough coffee. Are you and Roddy going to come back into the living room or are you going to spend the rest of the evening snogging in the kitchen?'

  Ella giggled. 'We will come and join you in a minute.'