An Unexpected Christmas

by Lori Jennings

  I smiled back at her then took a deep breath and wandered back into the living room. I just had to get thought the rest of the evening and tomorrow morning and then it will all be over.

  Nate had moved and was looking out of the window and I took a moment to take in the sight of him. He stood, one hand in the pocket of his trousers the other still clutching his glass. His back was to me and I noticed how his shirt clung to the muscles of his back and then tapered at his waist. He was tall, really tall but not in an awkward way, he didn't stoop like most tall men I knew, he stood up straight and proud and I admired that. He stood at an angle and so I could see the profile of his face, that long nose and high cheekbones, broad forehead which all pooled together to make the most perfect face. I loved him and it was killing me. I went and stood by the fire and watched the flames flicker in the grate trying to figure out what I was actually going to say to him when the time came.

  Chapter Twenty Nine

  Nate

  I knew the instant she came back into the room. I didn't have to turn around to know it. I was looking out of the window and staring at my car which now seemed like such a frivolous purchase. Yes I worked hard to earn it and it was an amazing car but what did that matter. It was just something else to own but it didn't really make me happy, not like April did.

  When I thought about her, or was near her, or if something reminded me of her, I was filled with all these feelings of hope, excitement and love. It was unnerving and astounding in equal measure and I wanted to tell everyone that I had found her. That I finally understood what it was to be head over heels in love. I thought I knew before, hell I have had to act it before, but I don't think I ever really knew until now. The only problem was that I could feel her slipping away. I wanted to push but I could tell that if I did I would lose her and I would rather take my time and have her feel comfortable than not be with her.

  I wanted to know what she was thinking and to talk through any worries she might be having but it was finding the opportunity to be alone with her. I thought about asking her to go for a walk but then would Ella get suspicious? The sneaking around might be exciting but it was also frustrating and I was looking forward to just being normal with her. Just spending some time in Miami with her, strolling along the boardwalk, maybe visiting the botanical gardens and there was a stunning monastery that I wanted to take her to. I just wanted to be with her.

  'Is there something going on?' I turned at Ella's voice and saw that April had turned too. She was standing next to the fire and she looked stunning in the firelight, her brown hair glowed and looked almost red.

  I moved my gaze to my sister who seemed to have a firm hold of Roddy's hand. 'What do you mean?'

  'Well, you are both just standing there.' She looked from me and then to April who then looked back at me with a look I couldn't read.

  I sent her a small smile then drew my attention back to Ella. 'Nothing's going on, well not in here anyway but apparently something was going on in the kitchen.' My head was flooded with images of my own kitchen activates with April just the other night which then led to me thinking about last night and all the things we did in her bed. I had to force myself to not look over at her and keep my attention on Ella and Roddy who were both looking shifty.

  Ella tugged on his hand and led him over to the sofa. 'It is none of your business what went on in the kitchen.' She stuck her tongue out at me and then snuggled into Roddy's side as he wrapped a protective arm around her. I was happy for them I really was but that didn't stop the jealousy building up and pushing itself up my throat like bile. I wanted it to be that easy and I had no idea why it wasn't.

  I pointed my finger at Roddy. 'I meant what I said last night.'

  'What did you say last night?' Ella had sat up a little straighter and looked worriedly from me to Roddy then back to me.

  I picked up my glass and downed the contents. It had been a really long day and as I hadn't gotten much sleep last night I really needed some sleep now. I placed my glass back on the table and caught Roddy whisper something in Ella's ear which seemed to calm her.

  'I'm going to bed.' I looked over at April, who had sat back in the armchair next to the fire and whose attention was captivated by the bubbles in her glass. I dragged my eyes from her and tuned back to Ella and Roddy. Ella was studying me with a furrowed brow and a questioning look that I chose to ignore. Roddy lifted a hand and I nodded at him as I turned away. 'Good night.'

  I made my way over to the door but before I walked through it I chanced a look back. April was watching me and I got the feeling she was making sure she remembered this moment. She seemed a little sad and I wanted to stride back across the room and take her in my arms and tell her that everything was going to be alright. But the look she was giving me also told me that if I did I would regret it. I sent her a small smile then headed along the hallway and up the stairs.

  I was still within earshot when I heard Ella ask, 'Is it me or has he been acting weird?' I hoped that April had an answer that would satisfy her as I couldn't think of one without telling her exactly what had been going on.

  I pushed open my bedroom door and closed it silently behind me. I took a deep breath then slowly let it out. I was tired, that hadn't been a lie, but I didn't think I could sleep. I picked up my phone off my bedside table where I had left it switched off since checking it yesterday before going to April's room. I switched it on and waited for it to boot up, as I did so I sat down on the edge of my bed and kicked off my shoes.

  I had three messages. Two of them were just people wishing me a merry Christmas but the third was from Olivia. I looked down at her text and wondered why she had sent it.

  Olivia Reed and I had worked together on my last movie and had dated officially for three weeks. She was beautiful, and talented, but she was also shallow and vain. She dragged me from restaurant to bar in the hopes that we would be seen together and our pictures would be splashed over the papers. She would drape herself over me in public but when I tried to get to know her, the real her, she would back off. She also had no interest in getting to know me at all. It took me the three weeks to see it and then end it.

  I looked down at her words.

  Babe, missing you. Will be in Miami, hope to see you. xxx

  I really didn't understand what it was she wanted. I had made it perfectly clear the last time I saw her that I wasn't the sort of person who played up to the cameras, that my personal life was not fodder for the public. I hit delete and placed my phone back on the bedside table.

  April was almost the complete opposite of Olivia. She didn't seem the sort of woman who would play up to the cameras in fact she seemed like she would shy away from them and I would do everything to protect her from anything that made her feel uncomfortable.

  I had been pretty lucky when it came to the press. They tended to leave me alone but I had noticed the heightened interest since the 'Danger' movies were released and had become more popular than anyone could have imagined. I had seen my face more and more in magazines and I had avoided the internet as much as possible only using it for email and the occasional 'tweet' but I had been told by Ian about some of the things on there and decided that I was better off not knowing. I knew that the public would eventually find out about April and I would do everything I could to protect her from any bad press.

  I changed into my pyjama bottoms then lay back down on the bed and stretched my arms up and linked my hands behind my head. God, I wished she was here. She was so close but she felt like a million miles away and I wondered how I was going to cope only speaking to her for the next few weeks. Not being able to touch her or kiss her was going to be a test of my strength like I had never endured.

  There was something that was bugging me. A feeling that had crept in at some point when I wasn't looking and I couldn't work out what the hell it was. Something about April and the way she had been acting all day. She had been running hot and cold and I wasn't quite sure how she was going to act next. I needed to
see her, needed to hold her to convince myself that she was here and I wasn't going to lose her.

  I sat up and flung my legs over the side of the bed and moved to my door. I pulled it open a fraction and listened. I could hear the TV on downstairs and I thought that I could pop down and grab a glass of water and somehow get her to come into the kitchen with me. I opened the door fully and moved down the hallway.

  When I got to the stairs I automatically glanced at her bedroom door and saw that there was a glow coming from the gap at the bottom. I felt myself smile as the images of her naked and lay out in her bed filled my mind. I moved over to it and knocked softly then waited for a reply. I heard her call out and I turned the handle and popped my head around the door. 'Can I come in?'

  April was already in bed and I watched as she pulled the duvet up to cover herself more. It left an uneasy feeling in my stomach and I didn't wait for her to say yes or no I just walked in and closed the door behind me.

  I looked over at her and lost my train of thought. I felt nervous, which was not like me, and I didn't know what to do with my hands. I lifted them then let them fall back to my sides then brushed my thumbs over my finger tips which itched to reach out and touch her. I finally settled on pushing them into the pockets of my pyjama bottoms.

  April shifted and sat up straighter still clutching to the covers in front of her. After a long moments silence she sent me a questioning look. 'Nate?'

  I didn't know what to say. I knew what I wanted to say, what I wanted to do but the way she was clutching at the duvet and the way she was looking at me made me think again. I licked my lips as my mouth had gone a little dry and I wondered how it was she did this to me, made me feel like I was fifteen again and had a crush on the most popular girl in school.

  I decided to just keep it simple. 'I don't want to sleep alone.' She raised her eyebrows at me and I got the impression she thought I was asking for a repeat performance of last night's activities. Would that be so wrong of me? For me last night changed everything so why was I now nervous as hell and why had she been acting weird? 'I'm not asking...' I pulled my hands out and pushed them through my hair wracking my brains on how to phrase it. '... I'm not asking for anything... untoward.' Brilliant. 'I just... don't want to sleep alone.'

  She just looked at me and I could see her brain trying to process my words and working out what it was she wanted to do. Finally after what seemed like minutes she grasped the corner of the duvet and pulled it to one side.

  I let out the breath I had been holding and moved to the side of the bed and climbed in next to her. She had moved from lying in the middle to one side to make room for me and we lay side by side, not quite touching. It felt awkward and I just wanted to curl around her and savour the feel of her. Her soft hair was fanned out on the pillow and I remembered sinking my fingers into it and pulling her towards me for a deep and passion filled kiss.

  She rolled into her side, her back facing me. I couldn't read her. I had no idea how we got here. She had been so open with me and now I just had no idea. I stared up at the ceiling and tried to come up with something to say, to get her back to the smiling, happy person I knew she was.

  She let out a frustrated sigh and rolled back. She looked at me for a moment then let out a little laugh. 'I'm not going to sleep if you're just lying there like a corpse.'

  I let out a relived sigh. There she was. I smiled back at her then shifted closer to her. She rolled back on to her side and I snuggled up to her, wrapping my arm around her middle and tangling my legs up with hers. Once we were settled I pressed a light kiss to her shoulder. 'You're not wearing pyjamas.' It was a fact, she wasn't wearing pyjamas it seemed that she was only wearing her underwear.

  'I couldn't be bothered putting them on.' She wiggled in my arms then settled again. 'Go to sleep.'

  Like I would be able to sleep when I knew what she looked like under the covers. I wondered what underwear she was wearing because I hadn't actually seen her in any yet and I was curious to know what she looked like in just a bra and knickers.

  My left hand was spread out over her stomach and I began to slowly stroke it up and down then shifting so only my finger tips touched her soft skin. I changed my up and down strokes to tiny circles and I wondered how her skin was so soft. It felt like silk under my fingertips and I wanted to exchange them for my lips, to place light kisses to her skin and explore every curve of her. It was crazy just how turned on I was by just thinking about her and what I wanted to do to her.

  I could hear her breathing begin to speed up as she wiggled more into my chest and her bottom brushed up against the front of my pyjama pants. I tried to focus on her, what she might need. I moved my hand higher and brushed it gently over her breasts. She let out a little mewling noise and tilted her head back. I felt a little relief fill me, I thought she might have changed her mind about me, that she didn't want me as much as I wanted her but the noises she was making at just my touch was enough of a confirmation that she was as turned on now as I was. I kissed along her neck and over her shoulder as my hand moved lower again and lower until I brushed the top of her knickers.

  She let out a long breath then rolled in my arms and captured my lips with hers. Her kiss was urgent and demanding. Her arms wound themselves around my neck and her fingers played with the hair at the back of my neck, it sent thrilling shivers down my spine. My hands found the clasp at the back of her bra and I flicked it free and pulled it off her. I lifted it from under the covers and breaking our kiss I smiled at the thin deep blue lace. I looked back at her and I felt my smile waver. Was I pushing again? I couldn't quite read the look in her eyes and I didn't want her doing anything she really didn't want to do. 'You can tell me to stop.' She tilted her head to one side. 'I mean I don't want to stop but if this isn't what you want, I can stop.'

  She moved her hands from the back of my neck and resting one on my shoulder the other slowly and gently brushed along my jaw and then she dragged her thumb gently over my bottom lip. 'I don't want you to stop.' She smiled up at me, a small smile that I couldn't quite read but it was forgotten when she pulled me down for another kiss.

  I was still holding onto her bra so I threw it to one side and wondered if she was the sort of girl who liked to match and less than a minute later I knew she was as her knickers found themselves in a similar state as her bra, on the floor by the bed. While I was relieving her from the confines of her underwear April had somehow gotten me out of my bottoms and discarded them to the floor. I kissed her again and then simply looked into her eyes. How did she have this effect on me? What was I going to do without her for months? I had only just found her.

  April bit down on her lower lip and looked up at me, a worried look on her face. I couldn't blame her I had simply stopped to gaze down at her. I smiled at her and I felt her relax again. 'We are going to take this slow.' I didn't want to rush this, I wanted to take my time and remember every moment. April nodded and waited for me to take the lead.

  We made love slowly and intimately and with only the sound of our breathing between us. It was the most intense experience I had ever had filled with all sorts of emotions. I knew it would be the last time I would be with her for a while and I wanted to savour every single second and imprint it into my memory.

  Once both our breathing had slowed to a more natural state I wrapped her up in my arms, our legs still tangled together and placed a soft kiss to her forehead before tucking it under my chin.

  I could feel her smile against my neck. 'I thought you said nothing untoward.'

  My own smile widened at her words. 'I lied.' I wrapped my arms a little more tightly around her and closed my eyes. 'Now, go to sleep.'

  Chapter Thirty

  April

  I hadn't expected to sleep when I crawled into bed alone last night but I did sleep eventually. It might have had something to do with mine and Nate's late night activities or the sheer emotional exhaustion I knew I was about to endure. I hadn't expected Nate to knock on my door ei
ther but a part of me was glad he did. When I woke it was a moment before everything flooded into my brain, but in that moment I felt so at peace and calm and happy. Then I remembered what I had to do and what I had to say and what I had to feel.

  I stretched out a little and realised that Nate had already slipped out in the early hours of the morning still keeping our relationship, if you could call it that, from his mother and sister. He was right to do it; I didn't want to have to explain to them both everything I would have to tell Nate. I knew I would eventually have to talk to Ella about what had happened, I really didn't want to have that conversation with her and I was hoping it wouldn't happen until I had a chance to let it all settle inside me and I didn't feel so awful.

  I pulled the duvet over my head in the hope that it was all just a dream that I could wake up from and only remember the good parts, the kissing and the looks and the necklace. I reached up and my fingers found the metal bar that lay around my throat. I hadn't taken it off since Nate gave it to me only the day before and I would continue to wear it, unless he asked for it back. I really hoped he didn't ask for it back.

  I let out a heavy sigh then pulled the covers off my head and grabbed my phone off the bed side table to check the time, the numbers that greeted me made me give another groan; I knew Ella wanted to leave shortly after breakfast and I hadn't even packed yet. My phone told me it was almost nine which meant I needed to get up and sort myself out and pack and, find the right time to talk to Nate. Our conversation would be one that had to be done face to face; any other way would just be cruel.

  I dropped my phone to the bed and let out one more heavy breath before climbing out from under the covers. I had forgotten that I was completely naked but it only meant that I could climb in under the hot water of the shower more efficiently. The water was refreshing as always and did it's best to wake me fully but I knew I would need some coffee to really get my brain working.