'I honestly have no idea. It could go either way... Either a huge backlash of people thinking this will only end in heartbreak, or a lot of family rushing to buy wedding hats.' He smiles, breaking the seriousness of the look on his face as he regards my expression closely.
'What do we do if they think we shouldn't be together.' The sudden thought of Leila and my mom hit me hard, picturing them hating this and trying to get me to break things off with him. My heart constricting badly as the sick feeling runs through my stomach; telling me I want this more than I am letting myself admit. The soft way he looks at me hints that he is summarising the same thing from my question, a hint of a smile that he knows he has a little bit of me already and maybe I have given too much away.
'Prove them all wrong... Even if they don’t agree with this to start with. Once they see this is real Soph's, that this isn't some impulsive thing and I’m not going to leave you high and dry, then it will blow over. You're young and it crossed my mind a dozen times that this might just be too soon for you, too early in life to have this kind of relationship; So I have no doubt that will be the first reaction from them.' He is back to watching my face, but I look away across the street at the landscaped gardens and deserted peacefulness. Pulling my thoughts in together to try and file them a little less messily.
'I'm not a kid anymore.' I sound sulky, tired of people always referring to me that way, when inside I have lived a thousand tears that no kid should have known. I am not as incapable and juvenile as they always think I am. I know I can act like a brat and sometimes I am selfish, but I can be self-reliant when I need to be, and I am not a bad person inside.
'No, you’re definitely not.’ Arrick leans in, turning me back to him with a little chin coaxing from his fingers, pauses a moment so his mouth is mere millimetres from me and waits. He looks so inviting and gorgeous in this moment, when I lean the last distance and kiss him, he breaks into a huge smile, so we pretty much collide teeth before he catches my face with both hands and kisses me a little more firmly. Closed lips but full on squashing faces together with intention. He doesn’t let it get out of hand, just a kiss that’s a little more than chaste and something only a lover or boyfriend would do.
Chapter 9
Christian shows up first, followed by a timid looking Jenny who seems to appear rather closely to Nate. Gathering together in the street outside Arricks house. I notice Nate is being rather attentive to my girl and tries to take her hand as he catches up with her; she looks away, pulling away from him and slides an arm through mine in a coy move without catching his eye. I frown slightly her way suspiciously and file it away to interrogate her as soon as I get her alone with Christian.
I am now standing away from Arrick, as soon as I saw them appearing I made him let go of me and moved to two feet apart, just needing a little space to see my friends and let them know what has happened. My texts outlined the briefest explanation only and I am so not ready to be identified as Arry’s new love interest just yet. I feel like they may judge me on my readiness to jump into a relationship when last night, I swore to never let him near me again.
‘Well hey, hey.’ Christian grins swooning between us all and looking far too wide awake and glamorous while the rest of us look rough as hell. He winks at Arrick and gives him a coy shoulder nudge.
‘See you finally manned up.’ He smiles at Arricks frown and waves jazz hands in the air between them. So unmanly it’s almost painful, but it makes me Jenny and I giggle as Nathan too bursts into a grin. Seems he isn’t surprised to see us together and I catch the way he throws me a satisfied ‘know it all’ smirk.
‘I am still in two minds about whether I should beat you or hug you.’ Arrick tries for dead pan cool but Christian only gushes at Arrick’s sense of humour.
‘Both. I am so into that.’ He giggles and winks his way, with a little twirl back to me and a butt wiggle. Arrick just shakes his head and sighs before breaking into a huge smile.
‘I can’t believe I ever thought this guy was straight.’ He laughs, and Nate throws him the ‘you’re obviously a moron’ look over everyone’s heads. I catch it and just giggle a little harder. Arrick must have been completely blind to not pick up on it before, I mean Christian is currently sashaying around in a sparkly tee-shirt with a huge heart on the front and wearing matching sneakers over skinny jeans. It’s not exactly inconspicuous.
I turn away and give Jenny a little nudge, noticing the way her eyes follow Nate as he moves in to give Arrick the familiar ‘Bro’ handshake and shoulder bump, the two of them lagging behind as we start walking towards the exit of the street. Christian comes to my free side and loops my other arm, gaining distance on the two men behind us so he can cut in with a whisper. Like three witches from Hocus Pocus doing the crazy walk and huddled to gossip about men.
‘Did you two do the bed boogie last night? Notice you disappeared, along with our shameless hussy over there and the rather sexy Nathan.’ He raises an alarming eyebrow at Jenny whose face turns crimson. She literally recoils in mortification.
‘Shhhhh’ Jenny scalds him, glancing back between us to check they aren’t listening, but the two of them are lost in conversation with equally serious expressions behind us and paying no attention to us in this moment. I glance back and catch Arrick smiling at something he is saying to Nate and feel that heart swelling warmth hit me like it used too when I looked at him, pushing it away and turning back to my friends. Back to the very serious subject in hand.
‘Jenny?.. Please tell me you didn’t hook up with Nate?’ I giggle at her in both shock and a little bit of disbelief, not sure if I am happy for her or not. Nate is such a womaniser and Jenny literally only just got dumped by her boyfriend of almost two years. I don’t even know if I am impressed or seriously wowed.
‘I got so drunk, I feel like such a slut. We somehow ended up making out in Arricks moms greenhouse, I don’t even remember how we got there.’ Jenny is turning beetroot and unable to look us in the eye, trying to keep her voice on the low. Christian is grinning like a Cheshire cat, clearly proud of his ‘hussy’ girls and trying to coax the sordid details it out of her.
‘That’s my girl! Only way to get over a man is to have a new one fuck your brains out…So, did he?’ Christian winks dirtily and Jenny goes even redder, her face a picture of utter mortification and she glares at him with an open mouth.
‘Be quiet…..There definitely has to be something said for men who have been around a lot of women.’ She smiles shyly. Looking back again quickly to see if they can hear us, and then at us. Blushing crazily and hitting the giggles; she looks so cute and girly in this moment and I realise it’s the first time I have ever seen her look this way.
‘Jenny. I am completely gobsmacked.’ I smile, squeezing her arm and figuring that maybe she needed to do something this out of the norm to feel better; she doesn’t seem overly cut up about her ex anyway and there is no hint of guilt. I wonder if she really had been ready to just end things with him after all.
‘He was sooo good. I thought I had experienced orgasms before, but oh my god. I literally couldn’t walk after. He just took complete control of everything and literally did things I never imagined I would ever want. He makes me feel so crazily sexy.’ She whispers then giggles at her own revelation. I smile but then feel my heart plummet as reality catches up with me and the fact Jenny isn’t the type of girl to sleep around, especially not someone who gets into kinky aerobics in a greenhouse with a born womaniser. I don’t want to crush the ‘Christmas morning’ expression she has on her face, but I know I can’t let her go down this path to heartache.
‘You know that’s what he is though right? A guy who sleeps around a lot. That nothing will come from this except heartbreak if you want more.’ I point out honestly, watching her face as she bites on her bottom lip, curbing the smile and taking on a serious expression as she regards me with a nod.
‘I know. I figured that out in the first five minutes of meeting him that he was a maj
or whore. I knew what I was getting, and I think that’s why I went for it. He just made me forget all about everything and just feel really good for one night. Made me realise how much better than Matt I can do. Matt is a selfish prick who only ever thinks about himself and never even gave me one orgasm in two years.’ Jenny blurts out with a whoosh of relief, as though glad to finally get it off her chest. Christians head almost snaps off in the way he turns to her with horrified speed.
‘Oh my god… I would die! I am pretty sure that borders on domestic abuse.’ Christian exclaims loudly and laughs when we both Shhhhhh him with little slaps on his chest. Trying to muffle him down and both glancing back quickly and very obviously at the men walking behind. We are both physically abusing Christian, there is no doubt in my mind that they probably know we are talking about them in this moment.
I glance back and catch Arry looking at me, while Nate has his head tilted in, saying something to him with a serious expression and only half keeping his attention. Arrick catches my eye and smiles at me immediately, that half smile, soft dimpled one he gives when he is feeling relaxed and happy. Despite myself, I can’t help but smile back, feeling tingly and warm, before turning back to my friends.
‘So, you two?’ Jenny nudges me; my turn for the interrogation as she obviously caught that little moment between us and is now bringing the much quieter Christians attention to my face now too.
‘He wants to try…. A relationship. I mean like a dating relationship. We had sex, sort of, I was too drunk, and we ended up just sleeping together and kind of talked.’ I evade the details of what really happened, I have never told them about my past and I never will, explaining would be futile and I still do not want anyone else to know. I watch the ground as we watch incase my expression gives anything away.
‘He looks like a guy who is pretty smitten to be fair. Even when we got on the plane it wasn’t hard to see.’ Jenny breaks in, looking thoughtful, slyly glancing back at the two men between our heads and locking eyes back on me.
‘I got that vibe from the restaurant too… See! Told you working the jealous angle would work.’ Christian looks smug and I only shake my head at him, not wanting to point out that if it weren’t for Christian, Arry would have swept me off my feet two months earlier and saved a world of pain and anger for an extended period.
* * *
We walk on towards town and the familiar sight of the little café turned bistro with its outside tables already occupied. Morning walkers sitting with pancakes and sundaes, despite the colder tinge in the air. Arrick catches me from behind and separates me from my entourage when we part ways to single file into the door. Taking my hand and pulling me against him from behind so he can put his other hand on my waist, walking past the chrome tables and quaint umbrellas and inside to the shade of the shop. I notice Nate skirts by us and ends up directly behind Jenny, a hand on her lower back as he guides her towards tables behind Christian and she doesn’t move it.
‘What’s the deal with him?’ I nod towards his back with a questioning look, knowing fine well he is a ‘love them and leave them’ type and rarely gentlemanly with a girl after he has already banged her. By now he is normally blanking them, forgetting their name and eyeing up a new conquest. He is acting completely out of character and it’s just plain weird.
‘Apparently she blew his mind last night. Best sex he has ever had, and he is not ready to let that go.’ Arrick frowns, shaking his head at his mates back with an air of disapproval. I guess, like me, he is finding the sudden change a bit weird.
‘She’s just come out of a relationship, last thing she needs is this.’ I scowl towards them as they find a table and start sitting down. The three of them look completely at ease already, as though Nate has known them as long as I have.
‘Maybe it’s exactly what she needs, no strings attached sex with someone who will take her mind off it for a while. Sex can work miracles when both sides know thats all it is.’ Arrick shrugs my way and then pulls me over with the speed of light and deposits a kiss on my mouth followed by a cheeky smile. I see he’s getting bolder with throwing kisses my way and don’t mind this time, I am sort of starting to like the fact he wants to kiss me anytime he sees fit.
‘And here you told me that sex was not that big a deal!’ I say it softly, mostly to myself as my brain fades into last night, stupidly verbal. Feeling that tiny hint of insecurity and a whole lot of self-doubt.
‘It’s not! Not when it comes to us anyway…. I told you. What we have is worth a thousand times more than sex.’ Arrick squeezes me around the shoulders and kisses my temple gently, still guiding me towards the booths.
I look back at him for a moment, curbing the urge to say anything else and let him push us to sit in the seats with our friends. Christian on one side of Jenny and Nate on the other as we slide in to face them, Arricks arm immediately slides along the back of the seat behind me so he is caging me in and leaning my way. Picking up the menu he hands it to me first.
* * *
'Since when did you start eating banana and blueberry waffles with pecan sauce?' I laugh, looking at the identical plates placed in front of us after we all finally ordered food. We have all been chatting idly, about the party, school, work and nothing in particular. It’s odd, for a group of people who were separate the day before we seem to all have gelled easily, even Christian is looking decidedly at home with two very macho men. Sprawled in the seats and eyeing up everyone’s food.
I guess he gets the vibe from both that being gay is clearly fine. I knew it would be, Arrick has loads of friends who are gay, Nate’s little brother is gay and both are pretty accepting of most types of people, overall. I can’t help glancing at Arrick and realising how quickly and easily I am falling back into being used to his company again; the initial confusion is draining away and I feel more relaxed now that we are all sitting around with no pressure to be anything right now. He’s just being him, laying off the romantics and the touchy feely and just being who he has always been. Relaxed and chill in my company and yet still cutely attentive.
'You always seemed to love it, so I figured I would see what the fuss is about, besides, I am so hungover right now and this sounded better than a fry up.' He digs in, taking a mouthful and chewing it slowly as if to savour the taste before giving me an approving look and digging in for more. I shake my head and follow suit, trying not to moan with pleasure at the first bite of something I have craved since moving to New York. Literally a taste sensation exploding in my mouth.
'You have to admit, this is sooo good.' I gush between bites, slapping Christian’s hand as his fork makes a dive at my food with a cheeky smile across the table.
‘You are playing with fire there, mate, she doesn’t share, only steals.' Arrick warns him with a smirk, winking my way and carrying on with his own food while I scowl at Christian’s hovering fork. I lean over my plate with a cat like motion and give him my best ‘I will maim you’ growl. Arrick sighs and pushes his plate towards Chris.
‘Here, try mine… It will be less violent if you do.’ He sits patiently while Christian takes a forkful and throws me a triumphant eyebrow raised ‘smarty pants’ look. Smug that he got what he wanted after all and without physical harm.
‘I will stab you with my fork.’ I warn him, meeting only smiles and winks before he blows me a kiss. I notice Jenny and Nate have gone off into quiet conversation again, heads ducked in as he says something that has her giggling. I frown across at him, wondering what his game is and mentally hoping to god she really does just take this as a casual passing sex thing. She looks pretty this morning, carefree and less stressed and it’s first time I have noticed that she seems more relaxed than the last few months, I wonder how much of that has been Matt.
‘How do you put up with such a little brat like her?' Christian eyerolls, catching my frowny face, at Arry and meets my foot, colliding with his shin under the table, giving off a womanly squeal as I scowl at him.
‘Learning how to avoi
d her violent triggers helps.' Arrick grins, lifting my hand from the table in his, bringing my fingers to his mouth softly, kissing them before letting me go. I have to admit the little stomach surge it gives me doesn’t go unnoticed. Christian immediately goes pie eyed and practically starts salivating at this show of cuteness. I however ignore it, push down the butterflies and carry on eating.
You don’t get to see me go mushy yet.
‘About that. Why is she such a demon at times? I mean, I have bruises in odd places from this stroppy little mare when she throws one on me.' Christian sulks, I falter but shove more food in my mouth and try not to let my uneasiness on the topic show. I know I have always been aggressive; I can’t help it; my body reacts and lashes out before my mind does. The therapist helped me get better, less volatile but I am aware that I have issues in that department and it’s not something I am proud of. It also doesn’t help that I grew up beside a Leila, and half my violent outbursts are thanks to her.
‘She’s fiery, passionate and a little hellcat at times; best things about her.' Arrick says huskily. Looking at me intensely as he brings his gaze to mine, complete adoration evident all around and no hint of knowing anything about why I am the way I am, even though he knows. I blush under his intense stare and go back to eating, loving him for always keeping my secrets for me, even when surrounded by friends who might know. The one thing he has never done, even with Natasha, was tell anyone the things I trusted him with.
The Carrero Heart_The Journey_Arrick and Sophie Page 13