Can't Get You Out of My Head

by Sue Shepherd

  ‘If you let me out for the day, voluntarily, I mean, agree to let me have the whole day out with Charlie on the boat. Then …’

  ‘What? What will I get?’ Beth had an idea what Lisa was going to say, but she daren’t hope she was right.

  ‘I’ll tell you why James left without saying goodbye!’

  ‘Ready to go, Campbell?’ Charlie appeared before her, he was wearing his new shades, the price tag dangled comedically over his nose.

  ‘Huh? Um … yes. And I thought I asked you not to call me that,’ Beth snapped her reply.

  ‘All right. Just messing with you.’ He ripped off the price tag. Putting his arm around her shoulder, he guided her out of the shop.

  Beth was distracted. She had a huge decision to make.

  ‘Fancy a quick drink, before we hit the hay?’

  Their evening meal had been more sausage and chips, Charlie had decided it would be OK, now that he had a pair of shorts with a bit of wriggle room. His hand was on the door of the pub.

  ‘Well … it looks like you’ve already made your decision.’

  He dropped his hand. ‘We don’t have to go inside. I just thought …’

  ‘OK. But not too many. Not if we’re going to do the dive tomorrow.’

  ‘What do you mean if?’

  ‘I just meant … oh, for God’s sake, Charlie, just push the door.’

  ‘OK. Great.’

  They entered the pub, and Charlie boldly strolled over to the bar, closely followed by Beth.

  ‘Don’t worry about tomorrow. It’s not late yet, is it?’ He grabbed her wrist to check the time. ‘Fuck me, Campbell, what a useless watch!’

  They got chatting to a group of people who were also planning to go diving first thing in the morning. There was great excitement hanging in the air. Beth wished she could share in it. Without much thought for the consequences, the rest of the group drank way too many beers. Beth was the only one who didn’t get drunk. She merely indulged in a few shandies. Repeatedly declining anything stronger, she watched with eagle eyes as every one of her drinks was poured. I don’t trust that bloody sister of mine.

  With each beer Charlie downed, his teasing asides became cheekier and Beth found she rather liked it that way.

  As the evening progressed, she noticed a shift, she’d be laughing at one of his jokes and she’d suddenly catch him looking at her in a way that sent shivers up and down her spine. When he spoke, she watched his mouth. It was the strangest thing, but the more she looked at him, the less she saw little Charlie Morris and the more she saw an entirely new, charismatic man. One time he approached to ask if she’d like another drink, and touched her gently on the arm. It was just to get her attention, nothing more. But, inexplicably, that touch gave her goosebumps.

  Beth twirled her hair around her finger.

  ‘You’re flirting with him?’

  ‘I am not.’

  ‘Yes, you are.’

  ‘I just think he’s funny. I do quite like him, but …’

  ‘Have you decided about tomorrow?’

  ‘I don’t know, Lisa. I wish I could trust you.’

  ‘You can. I just want to try scuba diving.’

  ‘And you’ll swap back?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And you’ll tell me …’

  ‘I said I would, didn’t I?’

  ‘I need to think about it some more.’

  ‘OK. But I would just like to point out you don’t have long to decide. If you don’t believe me, take a look at that Mickey Mouse watch of yours.’

  They made their way back to their room, still giggling at the jokes from the bar.

  ‘So, I told her to flash her thingamabobs at him …’ Charlie was finishing a story from earlier. ‘Then, I said, “I meant your headlights, stupid!” ’ He threw his head back and laughed. Beth joined him.

  Despite their obvious humour, there was something of an expectant air between them, and, with every step towards their room, it became more palpable.

  Standing outside their door, Charlie asked, ‘Do you think they’ve put anyone else in our room?’

  Beth swallowed. ‘Let’s find out, shall we?’

  Twenty-eight

  The other two beds were still stripped bare.

  With a sigh of relief, Charlie drew Beth towards him. ‘You, young lady, have been flirting with me.’

  ‘Me? Don’t be daft.’ She tried to give a sexy smile.

  ‘I’m never daft.’ His grip tightened.

  ‘That’s a bloody lie. He’s always daft.’

  ‘Shush. Go away, now. Please?’

  ‘Not until I have your answer.’

  ‘Lisa!’

  ‘I can wait all night, but I’m not sure about him.’

  Beth looked at Charlie’s kind face. She wanted to be alone with him, really alone. Was that even possible? ‘Right, you can have tomorrow with him …’ She quickly added, ‘Just to go scuba diving! But only if you promise to leave us alone now. Deal?’

  ‘Okey dokey. Have fun.’

  Beth waited. There was silence inside her head. After a couple of seconds, she gave Charlie her full attention. ‘You think I was flirting?’

  ‘I know it. But, luckily, I loved it.’

  She liked the feel of his arms around her. She wasn’t used to such a big, strong man, but this felt good. ‘What are you going to do about it?’

  He gave her a hard and urgent kiss. What he lacked in finesse, he made up for in enthusiasm.

  She enjoyed his kisses, although they were a little rushed. It quickly became clear his intention was to take this all the way, if she was willing. She was definitely willing, no question of that. But she couldn’t help wondering, Charlie was only the third person she’d ever been with, where was he going to sit on the scale? Would he be down at the Mario end, or up there at the top with James? It wasn’t going to be easy for him, he had to live up to James’s technique. James had taught her how to understand her own body. She had a moment of worry when she thought surely Charlie wasn’t going to be able to make her feel the way he had. But whether she was worried or not, Charlie was absolutely going for it, and it seemed impossibly judgemental to stop him, just because she assumed he wasn’t going to make the grade.

  She knew if she and James had parted on better terms, if they’d had their romantic last night and sad farewell at the airport, she wouldn’t have been able to give herself so readily now. But as it was, she had no idea if she would ever see James again, meaning there were no feelings of disloyalty. The best thing to do was to go with the flow and embrace all that life had to offer.

  There was barely time to process these thoughts before they were lying naked on the bottom bunk. Charlie was a big chap, there wasn’t really room for them both side by side on the narrow bed. Her only option seemed to be to jump right on and lay on top of him, and, Charlie took this as her way of saying, ‘Hey, don’t worry about the foreplay, let’s just get right to the main event!’

  Without further ado, he leant over and grabbed his rucksack. Taking clothes out at random, he searched the bag. Then, appearing to remember something, he reached into a side pocket, and produced a condom. ‘There’s the bugger!’

  What was Beth to do? Should she correct him? Should she explain she’d quite like them to engage in a bit more … how do you say … um … touching, before they dived right in? She was trying hard not to think of James, but it was inevitable she’d compare the two, surely?

  As he fumbled around in the darkness trying to get the condom on, Beth checked Lisa was gone.

  ‘Are you there?’

  No reply.

  ‘Seriously, are you watching?’

  When Lisa failed to reply a second time, Beth was relieved. At least that was one less thing to worry about.

  Inopportunely, thinking of Lisa led her to another thought. I wonder if it was me or Lisa who first noticed Charlie in the pool? Then, if we hadn’t noticed he was drowning, I’d be alone in this bed right now. It was a r
idiculous thought. But she couldn’t stop it. The realisation invaded her mind and, before she knew it, her head was full of cloudy images of Charlie as a boy. She was reminded of all the stupid things they’d done as kids. All the crazy adventures she, Charlie and Michelle had been on. I’m with Charlie Morris, and we’re naked! She tried, she really did; she was determined not to giggle. But once she started, she just couldn’t stop.

  Charlie’s stony silence told Beth he wasn’t impressed. He asked, ‘What are you laughing at?’

  ‘I just … I just can’t stop …’

  ‘Evidently!’

  ‘It’s you … and it’s me … and we’re …’ She continued to giggle.

  ‘Yes, exactly. We’re what? What are we doing?’

  It was clear he was embarrassed. She hated being the one to cause it. ‘I’m sorry, I just …’

  Gently moving her out of the way, he began throwing his clothes back on. All the time, mumbling, ‘For fuck’s sake!’

  Unexpectedly, the images in her head were replaced by just one. An extremely clear picture of Charlie, lying face down like a starfish in her birthday paddling pool. As quickly as it had started, the giggling stopped, and the crying began.

  She sobbed. ‘You could’ve died. You were such a lovely little boy … and you could’ve drowned.’

  ‘Jeez, all this and you’ve only had a couple of shandies!’

  Luckily, he wasn’t the kind of bloke to get mad. He chucked her shorts, T-shirt and undies onto the bed, and turned his back to give her some privacy.

  She dressed as quickly, and with as much dignity, as possible.

  As soon as she was decent, Charlie stood up and began shoving all his possessions back into his rucksack. He huffed and puffed, making quite a performance of it.

  ‘Nobody likes a show-off.’ Beth chewed her lip.

  Thankfully, it diffused the tension, he gave a small laugh. Throwing himself back into bed, he signalled for Beth to join him.

  She tried, as best she could, to lay next to him. His wonderful strong arms came around her in a bear hug. She was half hanging over the side of the bed, but she felt safe.

  ‘The point is, you dozy cow, I didn’t die. Look at me. I’m alive.’

  ‘I know. I know.’ Her sobbing had become a more sedate whimper.

  ‘And another thing … I wasn’t a lovely little boy. I was a fucking wally!’

  ‘I’m sorry, for spoiling … you know?’

  ‘It’s all right. Another time, another place, maybe.’

  ‘Perhaps we shouldn’t have rushed it?’ she suggested.

  ‘Ha. Is that what you think we did?’

  She fell asleep in his arms. It wasn’t the most comfortable night’s sleep she’d ever had, but it got ten out of ten for safety.

  The next morning, they got up early, and Beth was pleased when nothing further was mentioned about the fiasco of the night before.

  Charlie nipped out for rolls and Beth made the tea. There was a silence in her head. In fact, Lisa was so quiet, she began to wonder if she’d somehow left.

  Just as the kettle boiled and Beth began pouring the steaming hot water onto the tea bags, Lisa asked, ‘So? When do we swap?’

  ‘Bloody hell. You made me jump. I nearly burned my hand.’

  ‘Surely you weren’t hoping I’d forgotten?’

  ‘No, I …’

  ‘I mean, you wouldn’t go back on your word, would you?’

  ‘No. But …’

  ‘Besides, what’s the alternative? Huh? You can’t go scuba diving and you sure as hell don’t want to let him down now.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Was she watching last night?

  ‘It means – it’s too late to back out.’

  ‘Oh, right. Yeah, I guess …’

  ‘So, shall we swap?’

  The excitement in Lisa’s voice made Beth feel nauseous. At the same time as fear caused her blood to run cold, the usual guilt kicked her in the guts. ‘You’ll just do the trip, right? Then, you’ll swap back.’

  ‘I thought I’d at least get the whole day.’

  ‘It’s complicated. I need the evening. We ‒’

  ‘Here he is. Time to decide. Who’s going to plunge themselves into that deep, cold water and breath artificial air for half an hour, you or me?’

  Charlie appeared at the door, a bag of soft, warm rolls in his hand. ‘OK? Let’s eat these, then skedaddle.’

  ‘Well?’ There was impatience in Lisa’s voice.

  ‘I don’t know. I can’t be sure you’ll …’

  Charlie took a bite of one of the rolls. ‘Imagine standing on the bottom of the ocean, watching the fishes swim right past your face. Just bobbing about under water. It’s going to be brilliant, isn’t it?’

  ‘All right, you win. But I mean it, if you don’t give me my body back …’

  As Charlie busied himself washing up the mugs they’d used for their tea, he had no idea that, right next to him, the twins were swapping places. Beth’s eyes were closed for a few seconds, and in that time, she took herself towards Lisa’s place. The sound of Charlie’s dodgy whistling became faint, and the smell of the last two warm rolls, which still resided in the paper bag, was lost to her. She hated to leave him, if only for a day. Every instinct told her to warn him. Don’t trust me. Don’t believe a word I say from now on. And, most importantly, please, don’t make love to me, not yet, not until I’m ‘me’ again. But she knew she couldn’t say it. Not least because he’d never believe her. Beth left, and within moments she was alone in Lisa’s dark corner.

  It was different. More like that very first time they changed places. On the occasions when she’d been drunk, and Lisa had stolen her body, Beth had been unable to see what was going on. But now that she’d willingly swapped, she found herself once again able to watch the world through a cloudy haze. Was this better or worse? She couldn’t say. She observed as Lisa took a hold of her body. She faltered, grabbing the counter top for support. Charlie turned back from the sink, and, seeing what he assumed to be Beth staggering slightly, took her arm.

  Beth experienced a rush of pure sadness, it was such a gentle touch that she couldn’t feel it. Her heart broke a little. Then she heard her voice say, ‘Thanks, I just lost my footing for a second.’

  He smiled. ‘You bloody lightweight. You only had a few shandies, yesterday.’

  Lisa laughed, as she replied, ‘Yeah, I know. I was a bit of a let-down, last night. It won’t happen again. I promise.’

  Twenty-nine

  Beth toyed with the idea of not watching. For all of a second, she wondered if she could switch off. But then, of course, she realised that was an even worse option. At least, this way, she’d know what Lisa was up to. Whatever problems Lisa stirred up, Beth hopefully would be able to correct, when she got her body back. If she got her body back. As much as she was worried Lisa was going to attempt to seduce Charlie later, for now, she had more pressing things to concern herself with, namely, the fact that they were about to get on a boat and head out to the reef.

  Lisa and Charlie greeted the tour guide at the water’s edge, and were directed to their boat. It seemed frighteningly small to Beth. They were introduced to the other people on the tour, six in total. After Charlie had introduced himself, she found it upsetting to hear him turn to Lisa and add, ‘And this is my friend, Beth.’

  She wanted to scream, ‘No it isn’t. It’s not me at all. Don’t be nice to this woman.’

  Charlie repeatedly smiled at her, especially when, with a lurch, the boat set off into the blue yonder. She could feel her face grinning back.

  ‘This is going to be great. I’m glad we’re doing this together.’ He put his arm around her.

  Beth wanted to shrug him off, the last thing Lisa needed was any encouragement. But she already knew removing his arm would be impossible for her. For now, it was all up to Lisa.

  The instructor began explaining about the equipment and how it worked.

  Lisa seemed n
ot to be listening. ‘The bloke opposite is quite tasty, isn’t he?’

  ‘Are you paying attention?’

  ‘Uh huh. I’m just saying, he’s not bad. Do you think that’s his wife?’

  ‘I don’t care.’

  ‘Shit. They’re both wearing rings.’

  ‘What did the guy just say?’

  ‘What guy?’

  ‘The guy who’s teaching you how to stay alive under the water.’

  ‘Oh, him. Um …he’s explaining about the floaty thing. We press the button if we want to come up … or go down … or something.’

  ‘Jesus, Lisa, you need to know this stuff.’

  ‘Shush, it’s incredibly hard to learn anything with you yakking in my friggin’ ear.’

  ‘Tell me about it. Try going through eleven years of school!’

  Beth’s unease increased as they ventured further and further out to sea, and away from the safety of the shore. After a few minutes, they were given wetsuits and breathing apparatus.

  Once dressed, Charlie said to Lisa, ‘You look kind of cute in that gear, Campbell.’ He then corrected himself. ‘Sorry, I mean, Beth.’

  Beth fumed as she heard Lisa reply, ‘Campbell’s fine. I don’t mind.’

  Bloody hell. How much longer is this going to go on for?

  The rest of the group were nice enough, although she would’ve preferred to have met them as herself. As well as the married couple, there was another pair who seemed to be together. The last pair were two girls who were, very clearly, not an item. This was made obvious by the way they were flirting with all the men on the boat, including the instructor, who was a good twenty years their senior.

  One of the girls, an annoyingly slim blonde, produced a disposable camera from her bag, and, forcing it into Beth’s hand, asked, ‘Can you take a picture of us with your hunky friend?’

  ‘No!’ Beth cried out.

  ‘Don’t worry. I’ll just fuck it up,’ Lisa said.

  The girls grabbed an arm each and leant into Charlie.

  ‘Be careful,’ the blonde instructed. ‘I didn’t want to drop my decent camera in the sea, so I got that thing. It’s one of the ones you have to get developed. I don’t want to waste any shots.’