Hartstrings: A Jaded Regret Novel (Jaded Regret Series Book 3)

by L. L. Collins

  We spent the morning with Kenzie and her little family. It was almost like all the years melted away once we were together. We talked about anything and everything, even in front of her husband and Tanner. Her daughter was adorable and just learned to walk. She took right to me and cried when I left.

  “Taylor loved you,” Tanner said, reading my mind.

  “She was so cute.”

  Tanner tilted my chin up. “What if we had one of those?”

  I blinked, my mind racing. What did he say? “What?”

  He brushed his lips over mine. “I want you to have my baby. Our baby.”

  Tanner Hart never ceased to amaze me. A few months ago when I met him, he spent each night with a different woman. He wanted nothing to do with what his bandmates had.

  What a different person he was.

  Then again, I was different, too. A few months ago if someone would’ve told me not only would I get away from Andrew but I’d be in love with Tanner, I would’ve laughed at them.

  “Say something, baby.”

  “Y-you want to have a baby?”

  “I want us to have a baby.” Tanner put his hand on my flat stomach. “I love you, Mac. This is forever for me.”

  I laced my fingers with his. Shouldn’t we get married first? Live together for a while? Get used to what life is like as a couple for longer? “This is forever for me, too, Tan.”

  He kissed me and his fingers curled under my chin. His tongue slowly moved with mine, intertwining our hearts deeper than they already were. He wanted us to be together. He wanted a family.

  Our family.

  I wanted to be a mom for so long now; it felt foreign for Tanner to ask me to have a family with him.

  I slowed our kiss, and he leaned his forehead against mine. “Being here in Tennessee, it made me understand some things. Not only to finally understand my mom and move on from all that but I also realized I want my own family. I want to be the father I never had. I want my child to have the best mother in the universe. I want to marry you and give you my name and my child. I want this, Mac. All of it.”

  “A-are you asking me to marry you?” My heart felt like it would leap right out of my chest.

  “I don’t have a ring, and I’m sure as shit not doing it officially on an airplane. But yes, Mac. I want you to know how I feel. I don’t want there ever to be a question between us.”

  “I want to marry you, too,” I admitted. It scared the shit out of me, but nothing ever felt so right. I looked down at my stomach, which at one time held a baby that was part me. This time, when it happened, we both would be ecstatic. “I want a family with you.”

  Tanner pulled me into his lap and kissed me so hard I lost my breath.

  * * *

  “Seriously you two. Could you come up for air?” AJ put the SUV in park. “We’re home. I’m unloading the luggage now. Put your clothes back on.”

  Ever since Tanner told me what he wanted on the airplane, we spent the rest of the time making out like teenagers.

  “It’s too damn bad your dad is coming over,” Tanner said. “Because I want to practice that baby making right fucking now.”

  “Later,” I said.

  AJ carried the suitcases to the door and turned to Tanner. “Are you okay for a bit? I have to run with Heath over to Bex and Johnny’s. I’ll be gone about an hour.”

  “Yeah. Her dad is coming to visit, so we’ll be hanging out here.”

  “Okay. Call me if you need anything.” AJ shut the door behind us, and we were all of a sudden alone with a whole lot of pent up sexual energy.

  “Tell me you’ll throw your pills away.” Tanner lifted the dress I wore and slid my panties to the side. “Also tell me I have five minutes to fuck you hard because I have the worst case of blue balls ever. I think it would be a health hazard to see your father like that.”

  My insides clenched at his words. Heavy petting would be a good word for what we’d done for the last few hours, but I was more than ready, too. “I’ll throw my pills away. You can do it yourself later if you want.”

  I reached for him and pushed his shorts down to the floor. “Take me against the door. Hard and fast.”

  Tanner’s eyes darkened. “Your wish is my command.” He lifted me and slid in, both of us losing ourselves in the ecstasy of our lovemaking.

  * * *

  “I’m pulling up. Can you open the gate?” My dad sounded stressed, and I hoped the reason he came wasn’t to tell me bad news about Andrew. I hit the code for the gate and stood at the window, watching as he came up the long driveway.

  Tanner stood behind me, his hands on my shoulders. “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you, too.” He reached down and put his hands on my stomach. “I can’t wait to feel my baby grow inside you.” He lifted my left hand and kissed my ring finger. “I can’t wait to put a huge rock on this finger and tell the world you’re mine forever.”

  I leaned back against him, the love I felt for him so powerful it made me weak in the knees. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

  “You deserve every happiness and then some,” Tanner said into my ear. My father walked up to the porch, dressed as usual in a suit. We went together to open the front door.

  “Dad!” I hugged him tightly. “It’s so great to see you.” I could feel the tension in his body, and it worried me. An ominous feeling came over me, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

  He stepped back and shook Tanner’s hand. “Nice to see you again, Tanner.”

  “Grant, welcome to my—our—home.”

  My dad lifted his eyebrow at me but said nothing. “It’s beautiful. You look well, Mackenzie.” I noted that he didn’t call me Kenz.

  “I am, Dad. Thanks to Tanner. You seem upset about something? Is everything okay?”

  He nodded, but I didn’t believe him. The way he wrung his hands and kept shifting his weight from one side to the other told me differently.

  “Dad? Are you sure you’re okay?”

  I could see sweat beaded on his forehead. “I’m sorry, Mackenzie. I’m so sorry.”

  I stood. “What’s the matter? Are you sick? Do you need me to call 9-1-1?”

  The front door slammed. “There won’t be anyone calling 9-1-1.”

  Ice slid through every one of my veins, and my body shook. No. I was hallucinating. He wasn’t here. In my house. In Tanner’s house.

  Andrew appeared in the kitchen; a gun pointed directly at me. Tanner moved, and Andrew swung it to him. “If I were you, pretty boy, I’d stay right the fuck there, or I’ll shoot you right now.”

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Tanner didn’t move any farther, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let him stand there and intimidate us.

  Andrew stepped closer to me, and I whimpered. He put the cold revolver against my temple. “Hello, Kenz. God, I’ve missed you.” He reached his hand under my dress. “You been fucking him?” He laughed. “Who am I kidding. Of course, you have. You were fucking him before you left me.”

  “Andrew, leave her alone. It’s me you have the beef with. Put the gun down and let’s handle this like men.” God, I loved him. It was too bad Andrew didn’t see it that way.

  Andrew’s issue was with me, not him.

  “Do you remember when I told you that you wouldn’t get away from me? This whole time you thought you got away, didn’t you? You thought I gave up and walked away with my tail between my legs. Oh no, baby. I needed a plan. I let you have your fun. You got to fuck the bad boy of rock. Now it’s time to come home and pay for your sins. It was a perfect plan. All I had to do was plant some money and drugs we seized in the walls of your dad’s office. It’s enough to put him away for the rest of his life. So instead, he chose to save himself and lead me right to you. Isn’t that sweet? He wants us back together.”

  “You will not get away with this, you motherfucker.” Tanner glared at my father. “You brought him here? How could you do that?”

  My dad lifted tear-stained
eyes to me. “I didn’t want to. He said he would kill you anyway.”

  “But you led him right here,” I whispered. “Was he in your car?”

  Andrew laughed. “Of course, I was. Your father always loved me. Don’t you remember all the times he would tell you to be a good little girlfriend? He liked when I put you in your place. And this time, you’re going to learn your lesson for the last time.” He turned the gun, so it pointed at Tanner. “First, I’m going to shoot him. Then I’m going to put the gun to your head until he takes his last breath. Then we’re going to fuck right here so you can get him out of your system. Then we’ll go back home, and you’ll drop all charges against me. We’ll get married, and I’ll give you the child you so desperately wanted.”

  “Fuck. You.” I spat. “There’s no way any of that is happening.” He couldn’t kill Tanner. I wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t care if I had to jump in front of him and let him take me down instead. “You don’t control me anymore, Andrew. You’re going to be locked up for good for this.”

  He roared with laughter. “Someone taught you to be sassy.” Andrew ogled Tanner. “You like your bitches to talk back?”

  I noticed Tanner inching backward, little by little. I knew he had a plan, but I was terrified to find out what it was. I tried to shake my head at him, but Andrew turned his attention back to me.

  “You won’t get away with this,” Tanner spoke coolly like there wasn’t a crazy man in our kitchen with a gun pressed to my head. “I have cameras all over this house. The second my security team sees a man with a gun; you’ll be surrounded with nowhere to go.”

  I knew he didn’t have cameras inside. They were all outside. But he sounded convincing to me.

  Andrew cackled. “You think I’m stupid, huh. If the police show up here, you’re all dead. I’ll start with you—” Andrew smacked my dad in the temple with his gun, making him slump over the counter. “I’ll let him bleed out first. Then I’ll shoot lover boy. Last, I’ll take my love and then myself. It’ll be poetic. Like Romeo and Juliet.”

  My heart ricocheted in my chest. I felt lightheaded, and I couldn’t catch my breath. Panic crawled in from every pore, and black spots appeared in my vision. No. I couldn’t panic now. Tanner needed me. My dad needed me. It was up to me now.

  “Andrew.” I forced my voice to sound assured and stable. “Let’s go home, together. I’m sorry. I know it’s been so stressful without me. I embarrassed you and made you be on leave from the job you love.”

  I thought Tanner’s eyes would bug out of their sockets, but I tried to tell him without words that it was part of my plan. His hand inched open a drawer a little bit at a time, and I wondered what was in there. If he had a gun in there, I just might cry from relief.

  The cold barrel of the gun pressed against my temple again. “If you mean that, drop to your knees and suck my dick right now in front of your boyfriend.”

  My stomach churned. There was no way in hell I could do that. To myself or to Tanner. Andrew wrenched me up and pushed me to my knees. “Come on. Show Tanner how good you are at blowing me, baby. Or does he know that already? I bet he reaped the benefits of how good I taught you to be at sucking. Does he know how good you are at swallowing, too?”

  He used one hand to unbutton his pants and the other to point the gun at Tanner. “Suck my cock now or I put a bullet in Tanner first and then your dad. Straight through the temple.” My dad still slumped over the counter, the force of the hit with the gun still keeping him passed out.

  I gagged, bile rising so fast in my throat I barely hung onto it. Tears coursed down my cheeks. What the fuck had I done? There was no getting out of this now.

  I refused to look at his aroused flesh or wonder how in the hell he could be aroused. Andrew was sick.

  “You leave her the fuck alone!” Tanner roared. I heard him charging toward us, and I began to pray. I knew Andrew had no qualms about killing him.

  Before I knew it, Andrew snatched me back up and turned me around, putting the gun to my temple and unlocking the safety. Tanner stopped in his tracks; a gun pointed at Andrew. I almost cried in relief. Tanner had a gun. There was no way he’d let Andrew do what he said he would do.

  “Step back or I shoot her in the back of the head, and her brains can be all over your kitchen.”

  Tanner paused. What I saw in the way he looked at me made me weak in the knees. Tanner’s ice blue eyes were feral and protective with love.

  “You’re stupid, rocker boy. Is she worth getting shot over?”

  “She’s worth everything and then some.” Tanner pointed the gun directly at his head. “You let her go right now.”

  “Or what? You’re going to shoot me?” Andrew laughed. “Your boyfriend thinks he’s got what it takes to kill someone,” he said into my ear. I took the opportunity and lifted my foot, shoving it backward into his balls.

  He cursed and stepped back, crumpling to the floor. I ran toward Tanner when I heard the gunshot. I winced, waiting for the pain.

  “NO!” I screamed and looked immediately at Tanner. When he didn’t crumple to the floor or start bleeding from anywhere, I shifted my gaze to my dad. He blinked and sat up, unharmed.

  Oh God. Tanner shot Andrew. Tanner grabbed me, and I turned back to Andrew. Blood pooled under his head, his body still.

  I screamed, my knees giving way. No. Tanner couldn’t get in trouble for this. It was all my fault.

  “You guys okay?” AJ stepped into the kitchen, gun in hand. He knelt down and felt Andrew’s neck. “He’s dead. I called the police when I got here and heard the commotion.”

  My dad stood up and enveloped me in a hug. “Mackenzie, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” I couldn’t argue with him there. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  I nodded, my gaze still trained on Andrew’s lifeless body.

  He was gone.

  He would never bother us again.

  “D-did you shoot him?” My whole body trembled uncontrollably.

  “I shot him,” AJ said. “The second you ran from him toward Tanner he aimed the gun directly at your head and was about to shoot. Had I not hit him, he would’ve killed you.”

  I fell to my knees, and the world went black.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Tanner

  Eight weeks ago, my entire life flashed before me when Andrew Byron burst into my house wielding a gun. When faced with a life without the woman who made life worth living, I wasn’t afraid to admit I’d been unable to cope with that thought.

  Mackenzie Shepard was the strongest woman I’d ever known. After that night, I thought she would need time to be ready to move on from the trauma of what we endured.

  But I underestimated her.

  After the police swarmed my house, took the reports and removed the body, we had packed a bag and went to stay with Natalie. My girl had curled herself into me, looked at me dry-eyed and said, “It’s over, Tanner. We’re free now. From our pasts. From the pain. We can move on.”

  That wasn’t to say we were unscathed from the experience. Mac hadn’t spoken to her father since then, and I knew she wasn’t ready to forgive him for what happened. Not that he probably knew to what extent Andrew would go, but he still brought him into our house. He came to visit us under false pretense.

  He shattered our safe place.

  After I had the house cleaned, I put it up for sale. We hired movers to remove everything from inside. There was no way either of us could stand in that kitchen again and not remember every single detail. I shuddered every single time I thought about what would’ve happened had AJ not shown up when he did.

  I owed that man everything. Not that he wanted to hear it. He blamed himself for leaving us at all and wouldn’t leave Mac or me alone since. I didn’t blame him, but he said it was his job to keep me safe, and he hadn’t. I argued that he, in turn, saved both of our lives and killed the bastard who almost took my girl.

  He was cleared of any charges once the investigation was final. Not that w
e expected anything different.

  Of course, since a cop was killed on my premises, the news had a field day with it. It shoved Mac and me into the limelight, but that was okay because it gave us a platform for something that was crucial to the two of us. Everyone knew now that she was mine, and I loved it.

  People magazine interviewed us and put us on the cover of this month’s issue. It mostly featured Mac discussing abuse and how to see the signs and how to get out from an abusive relationship. They also highlighted the moment I asked the woman I love more than life itself to marry me. I remembered the moment in the movie she thought was so romantic and I took her for a picnic at the beach. I asked her as we enjoyed dessert, just as the sun set. I would never forget her face when she realized what I was doing. She now wore the huge rock on her finger I promised I would give her. And the entire world knew that playboy Tanner was off the market permanently.

  Mac found her purpose in life. And so did I.

  She hadn’t returned to work since Andrew died, and she didn’t plan to.

  When she wasn’t touring with us, she would help women and children who were victims of abuse. Soon, she would raise the baby that currently grew inside her. I was so fucking proud of the fact that I knocked her up. She was only a few weeks along, but it was the best accomplishment of my life so far.

  I was so proud of that amazing woman.

  Tonight, I would show Mac the new house I bought for us. We would start our life—and our family—there. I knew she loved it because we looked at houses together over the last few weeks and it was her favorite. I wouldn’t do anything without her input. I never wanted her to feel that her opinion was somehow less important than mine. If I could give Andrew credit for anything, it would always be making me cognizant of how she feels. Her comfort was number one to me.

  “Penny for your thoughts.” Mac blinked her gorgeous eyes up at me.

  “My thoughts always include you, baby.” I placed my hand on her lower belly. “How are you feeling this morning?”