The Winter of Regrets

by Needa Warrant

  “Yes, he did, and so did your mother who gave me an earful about being nice to Jo at my wedding. I don’t know her as well as I know you. Jack say she has moods and to not pay any attention to her. He said you bombed her with horse shit and that it was really funny.”

  Kima giggled. “It was. Bitch deserved it. I’m avoiding her and my mom, to be honest. It’ll be a wonderful wedding, Dee. Don’t worry about it. You look so beautiful in your wedding dress! I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”

  After hanging up, Dee plopped down on the couch and started to pray that it would be a wonderful wedding, but her gut instinct told her it was going to be a total disaster.

  Elena handed Rhiannon over to Jersey and Joy for a few hours. She stopped home to put on a sexy sweater, boots, and her tight black jeans. She looked herself over very critically in the mirror. She didn’t see the old Elena who had danced and drawn men to her with little effort. She saw a woman that looked stressed and needed to get her life back on track. She grabbed the makeup bag she barely touched anymore and began to make her face up. Finally, she was satisfied with how she looked and smiled at herself. It was time to go see Thrash and talk some things out with him.

  She pulled a black leather jacket on and headed to her truck. On the ride to Ocean View, she sang along with the radio and realized she wasn’t missing Hunter as much. The truth was that his dying had been such a shock that it blindsided her. She and Hunter had drifted apart long before his death. She didn’t have to mourn him anymore. It was finally time to live again. She felt peace and forgiveness in her heart toward Hunter. That was such a weight off of her that she couldn’t wait to tell Thrash.

  She pulled into the parking lot of his new tattoo shop and looked for his truck. She would have gone up to Ocean Cove if he wasn’t here. Right in front of the shop, there was an open parking spot and she pulled into it. Shutting off the engine, she looked at the new shop. There was lettering on the huge window and she could see inside. Thrash was sitting on a couch and a pretty brown-haired girl dropped next to him and began playing with his loose blond hair. Thrash seemed to be enjoying it and pulled her into his lap.

  A sharp pain hit Elena in the stomach. Feeling sick, she started the engine up and backed out of the parking spot. Men, she thought. Thrash was just like all the rest of them. She drove aimlessly around and realized she was headed towards Dirty Deeds. She had time to waste and a few drinks wouldn’t hurt. Seeing Darko and Dusty would lift her spirits, too.

  The parking lot of the club was full, but she found a parking space and headed into the bar. Looking around, she saw an awful lot of bikers and most she didn’t know.

  Dusty spotted her and came over to greet her. “Elena! I can’t believe you’re out! It’s so good to see you. Darko’s busy, but he’s going to be so glad to see you.” Dusty leaned forward and kissed Elena on the cheek. “Careful, some of Satan’s Attitude are here. Dee’s dad, Whiskey, came up two days early with some of the boys.” She pulled back and smiled, her eyes shining as she looked at her old friend.

  “I don’t care who’s in the house, Dusty. I need a drink. I was going to see Thrash, but found some tat groupie all over him. I thought he was different but I guess I was wrong.” Elena looked around the bar, checking the dancers out. “Who makes the strongest slammers?”

  Dusty laughed. “I do, of course. Come over to my area and I’ll make us a batch. Darko isn’t letting me dance while these bikers are here.” She led Elena over to a quieter area and got behind the bar. In no time at all, the slammers were ready and both women were sipping them.

  The door to Darko’s office opened and a bunch of bikers spilled into the hallway leading to the bar. Elena happened to look up as the light hit the hair of a tall biker dressed all in black as he came through the doorway. His long mahogany hair was held off his face with a leather cord. The light made his hair gleam beautifully and she stared at him. He looked at her and Elena drew in her breath. Whoever this man was, he was stunning. He turned away to speak to Darko.

  Elena turned to Dusty, who frowned slightly and said, “Elena, do you even know who that biker you’re staring at is?”

  “No, but he is one fine looking man,” she replied despite the warning in Dusty’s voice. “I haven’t looked at a man like that since I set my eyes on Hunter.”

  Dusty bit her bottom lip, wondering if she ought to warn her about Whiskey. Elena had not said anything like that about Thrash to her ever. Her friend deserved some happiness after all she’d been through, so she decided to let fate take its course.

  “He’s Deidra’s father, Whiskey,” Dusty answered. “The vice president of Satan’s Attitude. I think he’s coming over here.”

  Elena didn’t have time to answer Dusty because Whiskey was almost in front of them, Darko frowning behind him.

  Whiskey reached out and ruffled Dusty’s hair. “Long time no see, Dusty. Your mom and Rebel are coming up on Friday.” His voice was smooth with a slight southern accent to it.

  Dusty pulled back and tried to keep her face devoid of emotion as she flatly answered, “I didn’t expect to see them. How is my mother?”

  “The same old Violet Rose. Nothing changes with your mother. Now, who is this?” His hand touched Elena’s black hair softly.

  “Elena, meet Whiskey.” Dusty’s hands fluttered in the air.

  Whiskey sat down next to Elena and the bartender came right over to him with an odd-shaped glass tumbler filled halfway full of whiskey and a glass of water. Elena noticed the glass was personalized with the name Whiskey and “SA MC” etched on it.

  He noticed her interest in the glass and offered it to her for closer inspection, holding it closer to her face with his hand. “I like fine whiskey drunk in a proper glass, so I bring my own wherever I go.”

  Elena looked into his eyes. They were almost the same amber color as her own. “I see. It’s a nice glass.” She really wasn’t sure what to say to this man who was staring so intently at her.

  “Got an ol’ man, Elena?” Whiskey asked bluntly.

  Elena paused, taken by surprise. “No. I don’t any longer.”

  The smile that appeared on Whiskey’s face transformed him from looking like a hard mean biker. He had very white teeth and he smelled very good—not like cigarette smoke, but a good clean scent of the wind and leather.

  His hand touched her thigh and stroked it, her skin tingling as his fingers trailed over her denim-covered leg. “No ol’ lady anymore, either,” he said. “You a dancer here?”

  Darko answered for Elena. “She doesn’t dance anymore, Whiskey. She hires my dancers and has her own agency. She recently had a baby.” His voice sounded a bit cross.

  Whiskey still had his hand on her leg as he looked at Elena more closely. “Is that so? I’d never have thought that. Good body.”

  Elena found her voice finally. “I have a riding stable and I train horses and rescue them. We have some track horses too, my partner and I. It keeps me in shape.”

  Whiskey’s dimples showed as his smile deepened. “Is that so? I’m a fan of the track myself. Some of the best thoroughbreds come from Maryland.”

  Dusty and Darko shared frowns behind the couple’s heads. Darko began motioning to Dusty to follow him. She was right on his heels.

  “What the hell is Elena doing here tonight?” he asked angrily.

  “She said she saw Thrash with some chick all over him,” she retorted, “so she dropped by the bar. I didn’t know she was coming, Darko. What did you want me to do? They saw each other!”

  Darko ran his hand through his hair. “Nothing to do now, but Thrash is gonna be pissed.”

  “She doesn’t belong to him. Elena made it clear that she isn’t anyone’s ol’ lady. Go ahead and try to get Whiskey away from her, if you’re not happy they met. I’m not getting involved.” She walked toward the ladies’ room and left Darko standing there.

  He shrugged, realizing Dusty was right: Elena was nobody’s ol’ lady and she could do as she pleased. He wi
shed it wasn’t Whiskey who had caught her interest, though. As long as Thrash stayed out of Dirty Deeds and didn’t see them talking, maybe later he could tell Whiskey a Bound for Hell member had already staked his claim on Elena, but somehow he didn’t think Whiskey would give a flying fuck.

  Elena was enjoying talking to the intense biker with the amber eyes who seemed to hang on to her every word. He was very interested in her horses and asked her if she knew Deidra.

  “I’ve met Dee at my farm when she’d come over with Willie. That’s Black Dog’s ol’ lady. They have the shop together, you know, W and D, Art by the Sea,” Elena said.

  “Deidra is involved with a shop now? Hmm … she didn’t tell me, but we’ve not talked much lately. I hope now that I’m a widower that will change.” His hand stroked the top of her hand.

  “I’m sorry to hear of your wife’s passing.” Elena wasn’t quite sure what to say to him.

  Whiskey laughed a bit harshly. “I’m not. She wasn’t a nice woman, not like Deidra’s mother, my first wife. She was my angel. I named my baby daughter after her, Shanna. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with an infant and another girl.”

  “Who takes care of your baby?” Elena wondered aloud.

  “My niece Lacy-Jane is taking care of her and she will be at the wedding. Are you invited?” He pressed his thumb on the pulse of her wrist.

  “Yes. I’ve been friends with Jack and his family for a very long time.” Elena’s voice quivered slightly as tingles ran through her body. “I can’t wait to see him settled down.”

  Whiskey took a sip of the ice water next to his glass and Elena watched as his tongue traced the wetness across his lips.

  “Are you going with anyone? If not, I’ll make sure my son-in-law seats us together.” His eyes were mesmerizing.

  “I’m just going with Jersey and Joy. She and I jointly own the farm together.” She found herself telling this man all about herself.

  Darko watched broodingly from a corner of the bar. He didn’t like this at all. It was going to be trouble and he needed Elena to go home. He walked into his office and looked for Jersey’s number. He did the only thing he could think to do and that was reach out to Jersey.

  He tapped his boot waiting for someone to answer. “Jersey,” he said as soon as he heard his voice. “Elena’s in here and she’s talking to Whiskey. He showed up early.”

  Jersey was confused. “What’s Elena doing at your bar? She was supposed to go see Thrash!”

  “I heard she saw a chick all over him and decided to come here. Now, Whiskey’s eyeing her up. Gotta say, Elena seems to be enjoying herself though. Fuck, Thrash is gonna be pissed off. I don’t know how to get her outta here.”

  “Darko, she’s twenty-eight years old. I can’t just come get her. Cut off her drinking soon as you can. The chick hasn’t been out of the house in a long time. It’s not like Joy can call the bar. Elena will know you called here.” Jersey was the voice of reason.

  “Yeah, no shit. I thought maybe you had an idea because we don’t need Satan’s Attitude causing trouble between our clubs,” Darko reasoned.

  “Elena isn’t going to ask him home for Christ’s sake. If you have to, pull her aside and hint that she doesn’t want a hangover or some shit. I don’t know what else to tell you. If I think of anything, I’ll call the bar,” said Jersey, then hung up.

  When Darko returned to the bar, he saw Elena was giving her number to Whiskey and had her leather jacket on.

  He grabbed Swiper, pulling him aside. “Follow Elena home. I don’t know how much she’s drank. Don’t let her know.” Darko was abrupt and Swiper just nodded and grabbed his leather up and headed outside.

  Darko strode up to the couple. “Elena, you okay to drive?”

  She looked startled, as if he’d jarred her out of some kind of dream. “I’m fine, Darko. I had a wonderful night and Whiskey is coming to see the horses tomorrow. We have a lunch date!”

  Whiskey stood up and bent his head to touch her lips lightly. “Until tomorrow, lovely lady. Would you like me to escort you home?”

  Elena shook her head and gave a sexy laugh. “No thanks. I’m sure Darko has Swiper escorting me home. I saw him head outside. I’m in good hands. I’ll see you around noon, Whiskey?”

  “Yes, noon. Drive safely, darlin’.” He watched as Elena left the bar, then turned to Darko. “I didn’t know Jersey girls were so foxy and that one is very interesting.”

  “She is,” Darko agreed quietly. “She’s like a sister to me, Whiskey. Her ol’ man was Hunter and Thorn is family to her. You know she has ties to my club and Bound for Hell,” he warned.

  If Whiskey heard, Darko didn’t know, as the man went back to his drinking and talking to his brothers. At least Elena had gone home. Tomorrow, someone else could run interference, Darko thought tiredly.

  Jersey hung up the phone and looked at Joy, Thorn, and Tears.

  “Seems Elena went to the tattoo shop and saw Thrash with a girl and headed out to Dirty Deeds. She met Whiskey of Satan’s Attitude and they seemed to hit it off. Darko was upset.” Jersey’s shoulders tensed as he looked at them.

  Thorn frowned. “I’m sick of this shit. Hunter running shit from the grave. I heard how he gave Thrash his blessing to be with Elena.”

  Tears ran her fingers through his hair. “Stop. Elena isn’t going to go with Thrash if that isn’t what she wants.”

  “You don’t get it. None of you get it,” said Thorn. “My dad tried to tie everything up as neatly as he could. As long as he was happy with our lives, that’s all that fucking mattered!” He stomped out the door.

  Jersey followed him. “Thorn, calm your ass,” he said. “I need to ask you something and I want your honest opinion. Hunter left a letter for Elena for me to give to her.”

  “You want my opinion?” Thorn huffed. “Don’t give it to her, Jerz. She doesn’t want Thrash. He is up her ass and I don’t want her stuck with a man because my dad gave his fucking blessing. Burn the damn thing.” Thorn walked over to the side of the porch and spit.

  Jersey was conflicted. He had the letter and knew Elena wondered why she didn’t get one, but he didn’t want to upset her. Hunter was out of line in trying to tie up all his loose ends.

  “Do you think we should read it? If it doesn’t mention Thrash, I can give it to her. You know she was so hurt she didn’t get a letter.” He was trying to be reasonable.

  The porch light showed the anger on Thorn’s face. “Give me the fucking letter and I’ll burn the damn thing myself. I heard how Hunter wants them together. Maybe Elena needs to find her own man and Hunter needs to stay buried. I see headlights; don’t wreck her first time out, Jerz.” He stormed back into the house.

  Jersey followed, thinking maybe Thorn was right. He’d see how Elena acted. If she was happy, he’d hold on to the letter for a while longer. Hunter hadn’t told him when to give Elena the letter after all.

  Speaking of, she came inside with her eyes sparkling, appearing happier than any of them had seen her in a very long time.

  “Did Rhiannon give you a hard time?” she inquired.

  Joy laughed. “No. She was a perfect angel, although Thorn changed her. He insisted, said he doesn’t see what the big deal is, but Jersey gagged and had to go outside.”

  Thorn shrugged his wide shoulders. “Elena, you look really happy. Did things go well with Thrash?”

  “I never stopped in. Seems Thrash has his tat groupies hanging at the shop and on him. I could never settle down with him as long as he worked in that business. Plus, he was always such a player. I want a settling-down man … like Hunter.” She became serious all of a sudden. “I did meet Whiskey, Dee’s dad, and he’s coming to take me for lunch tomorrow. I better grab the baby and get home. I want to look good tomorrow.” She looked around at everyone and waited a moment. “Nobody’s going to tell me I’m making a mistake?”

  Tears spoke up. “No, we all want you to be happy, Elena. If Thrash isn’t the one, then … he isn
’t the one.”

  Joy was frowning. “You never promised Thrash anything, did you Elena? No agreement to try to get together later, maybe?”

  “Not really,” she answered. “And if there was even a tiny chance, it ended after what I saw tonight. I was in such a great mood until I saw him and that chick. I knew right then, it wouldn’t work out between us. He’s a good friend, like Jersey, and that’s it. I don’t know why he thinks he has feelings for me. I was with Hunter for so long that I’d feel like I was cheating on Hunter if I ever slept with him. I really had a great time tonight.”

  She saw Thorn with his sister in his arms and thanked them for watching her. When they reached her truck, Elena got in and Thorn decided to take the ride home with her so he could hold Rhiannon.

  Thorn took a break, then started to speak. “Elena, Hunter had Thrash give me a letter. I didn’t want to read the damn thing. It was filled with advice I didn’t need and maybe he meant well … but he’s dead. I think Hunter’s message to you was to go and live your life, which I’m proud you did tonight. I haven’t seen you in such a good mood in a long time.” Thorn spoke from his heart.

  “What the hell is it with Hunter and these damn letters?” Elena sighed with exasperation. “He didn’t leave me one and … and it hurts. You’re telling me that his leaving me was his way of telling me to move on with my life, Thorn?”

  Thorn didn’t miss a beat as he answered her firmly. “I think that is exactly what he wanted you to do. You looked really good tonight … and happy.”

  “Thanks.” She smiled despite herself. “I really liked Whiskey. Of course he lives in Maryland, so I doubt much will come of it, but he is my date for the wedding. Me, on a date. Can you imagine?” She laughed softly, careful not to wake the baby.

  As they pulled up in front of the house and Elena shut off the engine, Thorn had parting words of advice for her.

  “Do what makes you happy,” he said. “Fuck Thrash and any of ‘em who try to tell you that you should be with him. Grab life and make yourself happy.” He kissed her cheek, then gave the baby to her. “Gimme your keys and I’ll get you inside.”