The Winter of Regrets

by Needa Warrant

  “Do … Do you know something I don’t?”

  Whiskey knew the police were investigating Rabid’s disappearance. He didn’t answer right away, playing with her hair. “We have a dirty state cop on our payroll,” he admitted, choosing his words wisely. “They’re looking into his disappearance. His mother is pushing it or they wouldn’t bother. Don’t call Kima, please. Just go over or have her come here and tell her that when he left, you two were in the kitchen or some shit.”

  Elena began to shake, fearing the nightmare wasn’t over yet. She didn’t really want to ask him her next question. “Do they know about Kima?”

  Whiskey was blunt. “I think they do. His mother is talking a lot. If you remember what I said and you both stick to the story that Hunter saw him last, there’s nothing they can do to either of you. Don’t ever tell anyone else what you told me. I’m glad you trusted me because I never would have mentioned that sick fucker to you.”

  “You knew him?” She couldn’t help but ask.

  “You don’t need to know anything about that, except he was no friend to my club. We knew what he did to women.” He pulled Elena onto his lap. “Now let’s forget about that bastard and let me tell you about my plans.” He began to kiss her quivering lips again. She got lost in the kiss and melted into him, her worries forgotten in an instant.

  Jersey stormed into the house, yelling out for Joy. She came out of the bedroom armed with her worst glare.

  “I hope you set Elena straight about that man, Jersey.”

  “That man showed up,” he said back, grinding his teeth, “and now Elena’s ready to sell Moon Glow, since you stuck your damn nose in her business. I warned you, Joy. You don’t listen.” He glared right back at her. “You got a thing for Thrash? I don’t understand why you’re so involved with his love life.”

  Joy picked up the nearest thing she could find—an ashtray—and heaved it in his direction. The thing shattered against the wall by his head; he ducked to avoid it, his eyes flashing with anger. “I am looking out for us!” she cried out. “Why would we want Satan’s Attitude living here??”

  Jersey lost his temper. “You want those horses?” he asked coldly. “You think I could afford a farm this big? Elena has been good to us, Joy. We returned the favor by burying a body here. Remember Stinky? Maybe you treat your friends like shit, but I don’t.” He walked into the bedroom and left her to stew on that.

  She huffed furiously, but couldn’t help thinking about the horses she loved so dearly. Losing them is out of the question, she told herself. She didn’t know what to do. She loved Elena and she wanted to see her happy, but Thrash was who Elena belonged with. No thought could comfort her.

  Jersey came out of the bedroom and grabbed his leather. “I’m outta here until you figure out how to mind your own business,” he said. He didn’t kiss her and his voice was cold as ice.

  Joy’s heart began to sink as she watched him leave in his truck. Never before had Jersey walked out on her. She was fucked if both Jersey and Elena turned their backs on her. She and Elena had never had a fight before, either. Tears dripped down her face. It was true that she was barely dancing and had high hopes on some of the horses. She knew Elena had gotten something from Hunter, although she never said what. She figured Elena owed her from when she was pregnant, and she had worked so hard, but maybe Elena was hurting for money. Elena kept her word; she would sell the track horses.

  If Joy was honest with herself, it was true that she wasn’t pulling her fair share and was going to lose a friend she considered a sister. She picked up the phone and tried to call Elena, but there was no answer. It had been awhile since she had danced at Dirty Deeds. She could beg Darko to let her dance tonight, or maybe if she showed up, that would get the crowd yelling for her to dance. Convinced, she took a shower and got herself ready to go to Dirty Deeds. She hoped with all her heart Jersey would come home tonight. There was so much she would regret if she didn’t make things better with Jersey and Elena. She drove to dirty Deeds, and within the hour, she had patrons wanting to see her dance, just as she expected.

  After the club closed and she came home, she found the house empty. Her heart crumbled and she cried herself to sleep, hugging his pillow and feeling broken.

  Nailz grumbled the whole way to the doctor’s office. Veiko had forced Thrash and him to go. Jersey kindly offered to drive with him, and Veiko had went up ahead to get Thrash.

  The doctor checked his heart and his blood pressure. He explained that Nailz had to stop smoking, and to watch his blood pressure. Nailz thought it all was a waste of time, but planned to stop smoking anyway. As they were leaving, Veiko pulled in with Thrash. Nailz let Jersey walk over to tell Veiko the news. Nailz had no wish to speak to Thrash.

  Jersey slowly peered into the truck and was taken aback by Thrash’s condition. “What the hell happened to him? The Fiends stomp him?”

  Veiko rolled his eyes. “He’s been on a binge, drinking. I was lucky I could get him into the shower. He says a shadow beat him up. I’m wondering if insanity runs in the family, like my mother. How’s Nailz?”

  Jersey couldn’t stop looking at Thrash’s busted-up face. “He has to watch his blood pressure. He’s giving up smoking or some shit. A shadow did all of that? You think it was the Fiends, V?”

  “Nah. I just think the poor fucker pissed somebody off when he was drunk. Maybe the Fiends, who knows, but we’d have heard if it was them. I gotta get his sorry ass inside. I heard Joy was dancing last night at Deeds. Tramp said she brought the house down, made more money than any other dancer.” Veiko shrugged. “Later, bro.” Veiko pulled away and rode off, leaving Jersey with a shocked expression.

  Nailz was smoking the last cigarette in his pack. As Jersey opened the door of the car, he tossed the crumpled-up cigarette pack at him. “Why does Thrash need to see the doctor?”

  Jersey looked puzzled. “V said Thrash’s been on a binge, said some crazy shit about a shadow beating him up. I think it was the Fiends. He’s really fucked up.”

  Nailz didn’t say much as Jersey drove him to work in the heavy duty equipment yard. He was enjoying Thrash’s pain too much to talk. A shadow named Nailz, he thought to himself. “You wanna hang out?”

  “I gotta go home and see how Joy is,” he said with a sigh. “I had a fight with her, got a motel room last night.”

  Jersey wasn’t his usual happy self. Nailz wondered if everyone had problems and why this winter seemed to be causing such havoc. “Later Jerz. Thanks, bro.”

  Jersey had to pull over at the beginning of the lane to let Elena pass because she was pulling a horse trailer. He thought about the road he needed to get working on and hoped Nailz would help him widen the trail. He was happy Joy had danced and hoped she had straightened things out with Elena.

  When he came inside, he found Joy lying in bed. Hearing him move around and trying to be quiet brought a tiny smile to her lips. She decided to get up to talk to him. She wasn’t sure if he was staying home for good, but she’d try to make sure he wouldn’t leave her again. The smell of coffee is a good sign, she thought as she dressed.

  Jersey turned as the bedroom door opened and he saw his Joyful. She was still sleepy-eyed and hadn’t yet fixed her hair. He loved seeing her without all her makeup. This was the real Joy, the woman he loved with all of his heart. He made a mug of coffee and handed it to her. Neither spoke, an awkward silence resting between them.

  “I saw Elena leaving,” Jersey finally said, breaking the quiet. “She was pulling a horse trailer. I was thinking we need to widen the beginning of the lane when I put our driveway in.”

  “Did she have horses in the trailer?” Joy asked, putting her coffee mug down in a hurry and rushing to pull on her boots and a jacket.

  “I didn’t bother to look, to be honest. Where are you going?”

  “Moon Glow,” she answered, her voice distressed. “I bet she took him to be sold. I don’t have anything that says I own a part of him so she could sell him. She’s
really angry with me, Jerz. I’m going to see if he’s gone.”

  She ran down to the barn. Soon after, Jersey came following behind. Elena very well may have sold that damn horse, he thought. Joy should have minded her own business. She brought this on herself.

  He saw Pete passing by and asked him what horses Elena had loaded up. Pete’s answer confirmed the fear: “Moon Glow and Cool Chrome.” Jersey’s heart started to hammer as he saw Joy come out of the barn with tears flowing down her face.

  “She did it,” cried Joy, defeated. “She took Moon, Jerz! I had money for her, too! I told you, Whiskey was no damn good. Ever since she met him, Elena has been changing.” She threw herself into his arms, sobbing.

  Jersey looked around and saw two of Whiskey’s boys listening to her. “Joy, shut the hell up,” he whispered into her ear, his eyes on those boys. “Wait until we get in the house before you get us kicked off the farm.” With that, he picked her up and carried her home as she cried her eyes out.

  Elena pulled into the driveway at Kima’s stable and tooted the horn. Tears walked over to the truck.

  “Morning, Elena. You hauling horses today?”

  “I need to talk to Kima,” she answered. “Go run inside and tell her to come out. I’ve got a present for her. I’ll head back and unload it.”

  She pulled her truck to the area next to the stable. She looked at her old place and was happy Kima was keeping it up and had started boarding horses again. She got out of the truck and opened the trailer doors. She was about to get Cool Chrome, but Kima came flying down to the stable, Tears carrying a bundled up Josie and trailing behind her.

  “Elena, Tears said you have a present for me?” Kima loved presents and she looked at the trailer curiously.

  “Oh, I promised you this present a while ago. I’m giving you Cool Chrome. I need to downsize; too many horses to feed.” Elena watched the grin form on Kima’s face. “So, it’s a good surprise, then?”

  “Of course it is!” Kima explained, beside herself. “I don’t know if V will think so, but I don’t care! Can I get in and get him out?” Kima was already at the side door of the trailer.

  Elena didn’t answer as they unloaded the horse and Kima let him out to pasture.

  “Kima, I need a favor,” she said, drawing up to her side. “I really hate to ask you, but I need a place to leave Moon for a bit. I’m not sure for how long, but I’ll pay you boarding fees. I’m hiding him from Joy.” Elena knew Kima would want to know the reason. “Since I’ve been seeing Whiskey, Joy is in my business. I know Thrash is your brother-in-law, but I don’t want him.”

  Kima sighed. “Thrash is on the rebound from China,” she told her with a sad shake of her head. “I’m so tired of everyone going on about Hunter and saying that he wanted you with him. Veiko and I think you should choose who you want.” Kima frowned, uncomfortable with the plan. “I don’t think you want to leave Moon here. Joy or Jersey might stop in and Veiko could mention he’s here. You could take him to the Lodge, maybe? Fencing is still up. Thorn wouldn’t care. Tears, you’d help Elena, wouldn’t you?”

  “Of course!” she said happily. “Everything’s there except for hay and feed. Few people come to the Lodge from Bound for Hell. We have a couple living there, but they’re nowhere near the barn.”

  “Thank you, that makes more sense.” Elena took a breath, picturing it all working out. “Now, run up to the house and watch Josie until Kima comes inside. I need to talk to her, please. After that, we’ll move Moon together.”

  Kima felt chills run up her spine. Elena wasn’t here just to give her a horse; she knew something was wrong. She leaned her arms over the fence as Elena stood next to her.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice steady despite trembling within.

  “We’re in this together, no matter what,” said Elena. “I was given a heads-up that the police are looking into Rabid’s disappearance. They’re going to want to talk to you.” Elena spoke softly even though there wasn’t anyone around.

  “I knew one day it was going to happen,” Kima confessed worriedly. “I dream about that bastard all the time.” Her voice was firm, almost like she had been waiting for bad news. “Do I need a lawyer?”

  Elena put her hand on Kima’s. “No, I don’t think that is wise. Whiskey told me what we need to do. If the cops come here, we should say you came with Rabid to the Lodge, but he left, and we were in the kitchen. Hunter was the last to see him. That’s all we need to say.”

  Kima’s lips tightened. “What about the damn engagement ring? I don’t have it. I gave it to Marco. Should I mention I gave it back?”

  Elena paused to think, then shrugged. She hadn’t considered the ring.

  “All I know is, Rabid was angry when he left and took the ring.” Kima was playing along as Elena hoped she would.

  “Good answer. That was quick thinking. Kima, since I’m angry at Joy, do you mind if I come over during the days when Whiskey isn’t around?”

  Kima nodded. “I’d love the company. Ever since Jo went nuts, nobody comes around very much. Having Tears here is great, but she does her job and goes home to Thorn. So … you and Whiskey, huh?” Kima wiggled her eyebrows. “He’s a good-looking man, Elena.”

  Elena couldn’t hide the smile from her face. “I feel alive again. I didn’t for so long, and I don’t care what anyone has to say about him. I’m doing Thanksgiving and thought maybe you, V, and Josie might want to come.”

  “Oh, I would, but I promised my dad we’d go there.” Kima frowned. “Did you invite Jack and Dee?”

  “I will, as well as Tears and Thorn. Why don’t you come for dessert, at least?” Elena suggested.

  “That, we can do! Now, you and Tears better get moving before Joy comes around. If she asks, I didn’t see Moon Glow either. Thanks Elena for telling me to be prepared.” She hugged the older woman before they headed into her house.

  Kima watched Elena and Tears leave, wondering what V would say about her taking Cool Chrome. She looked at her daughter and she made a vow: nothing would take her away from Josie and Veiko. Especially the bastard she’d killed. She thought about the expression on his face when he saw her with the gun and felt no guilt for a change. Death was exactly what Rabid had deserved. She wondered when the police would show up and planned what her reaction would be. Drama had been one of her favorite classes in high school; she would play her part well. She had no other choice.

  Jersey talked Joy into taking a nap and kept looking out the window, waiting anxiously for Elena to come home. He was startled to see a truck coming down the lane, pulling a house trailer. Satan’s Attitude bikers were helping get it into place where there had once been an old trailer. Joy would flip, seeing that. He needed to get Nailz over to get that trail widened. He wondered if there was a way for them to continue to live here, then decided Elena wouldn’t put either Joy or him in danger. He had no trouble with Elena being with Whiskey if that was what she wanted, and he thought again about that damn letter. It was safe in his dresser under some old clothes.

  Maybe Thorn was right and he should burn the damn thing. He was seriously considering it when he heard Joy call his name.

  Elena came home and unhitched the horse trailer. She left it where it usually sat and pulled her truck in front of the house. Right away, she noticed the trailer and saw Whiskey on the porch. He looked so happy and she felt those butterflies in her stomach again. He moved to greet her as she got out of the truck, then began to run to meet him. His arms opened and grabbed her, swinging her around.

  “I thought you weren’t going anywhere alone, Elena?”

  “I didn’t go far,” she told him. “Just down to Kima’s house. I hid Moon Glow. I had a horse to give Kima, and I passed that message to her. She’ll be fine; I promised to spend more time with her. I need to be there when the time comes, Whiskey.”

  He looked at her and knew he wouldn’t win over Kima. Elena was loyal and he planned to have his boys keep watch if she was there. “What do
you think of the trailer?”

  “It’s pretty new, isn’t it?”

  “I wasn’t going to buy a piece of shit,” he admitted. “Power will be turned on tomorrow and I’ll show it to you then. Zero and I decided to cook. I think Amy was in shock. Don’t Jersey bikers cook?”

  “Hamburgers and grilling, mostly. What’re you making?” Elena’s nose twitched at the smell of hickory.

  “Ribs, slaw, and greens,” he replied proudly. “Zero’s barbeque sauce makes anything taste great. Tell him you love it and he’ll cook more often. I keep trying to figure out how to make it, but it’s his big secret.”

  “Sounds so good,” she said, nearly tasting it already. “Let’s hope Joy doesn’t come down here and ruin our dinner.” Elena glanced toward Joy’s house, misgivings filling her.

  Whiskey made a mental note to tell his boys to keep Joy from coming inside. He was tired of the bossy blonde. He’d try, for Elena’s sake, to get along with her as long as she let Elena make her own decisions. Jersey seemed to be an alright guy; he had no issues with him.

  Jersey brought the money to Elena, and Joy continued to avoid her, which was fine by Elena. Neither of them mentioned Moon Glow. Elena was almost ready to put Joy out of her misery; she’d bring Moon back after the holiday weekend, she decided.

  Whiskey was back and forth to Maryland, and life was much better. Thrash stopped calling, and Elena went over a few hours every day to Kima’s house. She knew he had bikers passing by Kima’s house, but it made her feel more secure. Lacy-Jane was finally letting Shanna come over without a fuss. It was Thanksgiving morning and Elena had the turkey in the oven, its aroma filling the house. Zero had a turkey cooking in the trailer oven and another one was on the grill. Mad Jack and Dee were already there playing with the babies and having a great time. Thorn and Tears would be over soon, too.