Rock Me Slowly

by Dawn Sutherland

What in the hell is that girl talking about?

  Suddenly my phone starts vibrating on my desk. I check the caller I.D and see that its Anna calling. She obviously feels that she has to tell me over the phone rather than texting back and forth.

  “Hello wench. What’s this story that has your panties in a twist?” I have to admit when she mentioned that Mickey and Josh were a couple of studs I was intrigued.

  “Holy shit Soph. You are not going to believe this story. I was stunned but I’m not afraid to admit it got me a little turned on too.” What the hell is she talking about?

  “Anna…get on with it.” I’m dying to know what this big story is.

  “Oh my god Soph the story is about a freaking threesome. Josh, Mickey and the ex-fashion designer. She is one lucky bitch! She had them both at the same time. God, what I wouldn’t have done to be in her position. The story reads like a porn movie, I could not believe it. So tell me, have you been lucky enough to be in that delectable position yet?” I can’t believe what my ears are hearing. Wait, who the hell am I kidding of course I can believe it, It’s Mickey and Josh we are talking about.

  “Of course I haven’t. What the hell do you take me for? Anyway, it’s been lovely catching up with you again Anna but I really need to get back to work; I have a tight deadline to stick to. Bye.”

  I’m in deep thought. Suddenly me denying Josh seems much more important than it did before. It’s quite clear that he is used to getting exactly what he wants. I can’t allow that. I have to maintain a professional distance from Josh. I can’t allow myself to blur the lines of our working relationship.

  I catch Josh walking past my office door and I shout out to him to come in here a moment. He eyes me warily but comes in anyway. I tell him to close the door and take a seat. He does so.

  “I heard about the story Josh. I just wanted to offer my support to you and Mickey. Is it true?” I’m very aware that the tabloids can blow stories way out of proportion so I feel the question is a valid one.

  “I won’t lie to you Sophie. It’s true, I was completely tanked but that isn’t a valid excuse. You are already aware of what kind of person I am so it shouldn’t really come as much of a shock. I’m a dick and that’s the kind of thing I do all the time. So if we’re done I’ll go do something more important with my time.”

  I can only nod my head. Josh gets up walks straight out my office. I really don’t understand why he is being so horrible to me. I only want to help him, why can’t he see that?

  Later that day I’m sitting in the entertainment room just going through some new designs for some of the tour when I’m joined by Tanner. He really is a sweetheart and always makes time to come and talk to me no matter how busy he is. Tanner is one of the most talented drummers that I have ever heard, I know this from sitting in on his jamming sessions. Every time I hear him play I’m simply blown away at his raw talent, the speed that he plays at is utterly amazing. I wish I was musically talented. The other guys are talented too but there is just something about Tanners ability to write and play by ear, he blows me away.

  “Hey whatcha doing Soph? You mind if I just sit here and chill with you for a few minutes?” Tanner asks playfully. What I love about Tanner is that he never makes any sexual innuendo towards me and I just love that about him. Tanner doesn’t need to put on this act with me, I like the real Tanner, not the party guy that is so often seen in the papers.

  “Sure Tanner I’m not doing anything too important right now. I don’t mind sitting here and chatting with you. What’s up?” I know when something is bothering him and today is one of those times. His brow furrows when he is either worried or he is stressed about something.

  “Oh not much Soph just been trying to get some new material down on paper. I have so many new songs and beats in my head I’m just trying to get them down for the other guys. I’m a little stressed.” The poor baby, he really is the musical mastermind behind Buried Alive, he is truly a musical genius. I guess that much pressure on Tanner’s shoulders must get to him sometimes.

  “Oh honey you have to slow down. I’m sure it’s not all down to you to get the songs written; can’t you ask the others to help you? I’m worried that you are under so much stress; it’s not good for you while the tour is going on. That’s going to be hard enough for all of you without the added pressure of new songs.” Tanner is drinking too much as it is, any more pressure and he is going to crack big time.

  “Sophie I’ll cope I always do. A little bit of pressure is good for us, that’s how I work best.”

  “That may be right Tanner but you are already drinking too much. Don’t you think that’s how addictions start? What’s it going to be next? Drugs? You really don’t want to go down that road Tanner.” If he starts that shit there will be no going back.

  The beer just helps take the edge off the stress of me. I have this situation completely in control. I’m going to go and get a few minutes shut eye. Catch ya later.” Tanner infuriates me, he honestly doesn’t think he has a problem and that’s exactly why I know that he has one. I just hope that he realises before it is too late.

  I’m now in my design studio working on designs on my laptop for the show. The boy’s styles are your stereotypical rock image. They like to keep it simple but still maintain their self-professed bad boy persona. I think my styles for the guys are spot on, they don’t seem to like to vary on tank tops and ripped jeans and they are huge fans of the guy liner. I want to try and have something different about the guy’s image that is specifically all about them. I have decided that Josh is going to wear aviators on stage; Mickey is going to have a trademark trench coat for the first few songs. Zack will wear a formal shirt but with one arm cut off. Tanner will play drums without a shirt it’s far too hot for him to be all tarted up. Blaine, well I’m going to suggest to him that he consider going topless but with only a bowtie around his neck. That may take a bit of convincing.

  My head is all over the shop, I can’t stop thinking about Josh’s whispered words to me a few nights ago. I don’t think I’m anything special in his eyes, it’s more a case of he wants what he can’t have. I’m sure his infatuation with me will end as soon as they start performing on stage and he is surrounded by a bunch of screaming groupies. Yes that’s bound to do it, Mickey just jumped at the chance to tell me how often they get offered sex. I can’t deny that I don’t have feelings for him but what they are I can’t be sure. Anyway, I can’t explore them that would be a conflict of interest. I have to work with these boys and in a pretty intimate fashion so I have to keep this purely professional.

  I’m interrupted by a loud knock at the door. It’s a necessary interruption for me to get my head back in the game. I get up from my workstation and open the door and find Blaine standing in front of me. Just the man I wanted to see; now I can bring up my suggestion of the bow tie. I inwardly laugh; it’s such a daring move in his image but one I think he could pull off perfectly. Well here we go if you don’t ask you don’t get.

  “Well Blaine just the man I wanted to see actually, come on in. I have something I want to discuss with you.” His eyes light up like a little boys eyes on Christmas morning. It’s obvious his idea of something to discuss is very different to mine.

  “Well sweetheart you only had to say the word if you wanted me against the wall, and in your office too how illicit. I would fuck you anywhere but if you like the cramped style in here I’ll get you up against that wall in two seconds flat baby.” Oh dear god what is it with these men are they that horny that they would tap anything. It’s a wonder I can breathe on this bus with the choking levels of testosterone everywhere. Well it’s a great ego booster that so many hot men are willing to get hot and sweaty with me.

  “No Blaine I do not wish to get intimate with you. I’m glad you popped in though because I want to talk to you about your stage image. I want to alter it slightly, something that I think will appeal to the audience and it will enhance your masculinity.”

  Just those two w
ords audience and masculinity should really be the deal breaker here. Blaine will do anything to increase his chances of getting laid, it seems that he is constantly fighting to get the girls; it seems most of the groupie’s only want Mickey and Josh. Poor Blaine. Stop thinking about Josh and his desperate, skanky groupies. Just the thought of him making love to some other woman has me boiling with rage and jealousy, an emotion that I’m not too familiar with.

  “Well if this is strictly professional then the guys should be here, especially if it is do with the stage appearance. I know Mickey will want to have a say on this. I’ll go and fetch the fuckers and then we can get down to business.” Oh crap surrounded by the full group of sex fiends, I was hoping to deal with each of them separately. It’s so much easier to bat them off if there’s only one trying to get in my pants.

  “Oh, Blaine what did you actually come in here for? I’m assuming it wasn’t to talk shop?” The fact that he just turned up out of the blue doesn’t sit well with me. There’s no way he came round simply to talk about what he would be wearing during the live sets.

  “Oh well I just came round to see if I could persuade you to get on that table, spread eagled whilst I fuck you into next week. It’s a long drive to our first destination and it can get boring, not to mention lonely. I just thought we could spice up the journey by having you screaming my name.” These guys are fucking unbelievable. Any opportunity and they take it, what makes them think that I would fuck anyone of them?

  Don’t lie to yourself; you know you would take Josh any way you could get him. Snap the fuck out of it now Sophie.

  “Blaine just go and fetch the others and make it quick I have a lot of work to be getting on with.” I can’t hide the annoyance in my voice, mainly due to my own lack of self-control when I think about Josh. Maybe I should hook up with someone on our first stop perhaps that would get this whole thing out of my system. Yeah right keep dreaming!

  A few moments later and the rest of the band walk in and form a very intimidating circle around me. They are a hard force to be reckoned with. Each and every one of them is good looking in their own way but a way that the groupies can’t seem to resist. It suddenly occurs to me that the guys seem to deal with the fame game particularly well. Not one has mentioned that they find the whole stalking issue hard to deal with, nor do they moan about every aspect of their lives being available to the media to scrutinize for the whole world to see. I think I would find that aspect of their lives very hard to cope with, especially if they are involved in a kiss and tell. I can only imagine the hurt that that would cause their families back home. I suddenly feel a strong sense of admiration for the guys putting themselves out there for their passion.

  “Okay guys I initially just wanted to speak to Blaine to put forward a suggestion that may work to his advantage. It is a drastic change and something that I know Blaine himself would never think of but like I said I know it will enhance his fan base and he might just like it.” I give the band a few moments to take in what I have said. I’m trying my utmost to keep this all professional but with Josh in the room with me I’m finding it increasingly hard to breathe. I look up at him to see his reaction but he won’t look at me. Great, I’m going to have to put his image change to him. Talk about awkward.

  “Well beautiful fire ahead I’m all for enhancing our image and I would say that the band has needed to address this for a while. Our image has been the same since 2006. It’s time to shake things up a bit, I reckon.” Oh well Mickey is giving it the go ahead in theory just wait till he hears what I am suggesting.

  “Okay Blaine I’m suggesting we lose the shirt on stage. I want to see you banging that bass in just a pair of low riding blue jeans.” I’m trying to ease him into my suggestion slowly. I really don’t want him to just dismiss the idea altogether.

  “Fuck yes I can do that. You pussies are going to be crying your fucking eyes out when the chicks see my hard body and offer me their pussies on a silver platter. It was nice knowing you losers.” Oh dear poor Blaine isn’t going to like the next detail I’m going to throw into the mix.

  “Blaine could you do me one small favour right now and take your top off please.” I glance sideways to Josh and his fists are clenched at his sides. Is this affecting him more than I could of dared believe? Am I more than a potential fuck? No, I won’t let myself believe that, he has a reputation for fucking then ditching. I won’t let myself be hurt that way. I have more respect for myself.

  “Oh baby you only had to ask, you know that.” Blaine flashes me a very cocky grin as he starts yanking his top off over his head.

  “Just fucking watch your mouth Blaine.” Everyone simultaneously turns their heads towards the voice of Josh. The anger coming from Josh is palpable, what the hell is his game? Blaine is his friend.

  “Look let’s all just calm down and get back to the matter in hand.” I quickly diffuse the situation and get back to examining Blaine’s naked torso. He has a perfectly defined torso, perfect six pack and pecs all covered in only what I could call works of art. His tattoos are beautiful, one perfectly positioned across his pecs which says Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. I wonder to myself what that pain could possibly be. Is there a broken boy underneath the bravado and bad boy act?

  “Hey Sophie if you keep eying me like you want to eat me then I will happily oblige right this minute. I don’t care if we do have an audience it only turns me on more.” Oh Blaine cut the fucking crap.

  “Blaine this is only half of your new image. You have a very appealing body, I admit it but I don’t want to sleep with you. I want this on stage but I want you to wear nothing else on your top half except a single black bow tie.” I’m met with a very serious look from Blaine. My god have I actually rendered him speechless? When I think that nobody is actually going to speak to me the room is filled with unrelenting laughter. Ok, so not the reaction I was actually going for. Why can’t these guys be serious for once in their lives?

  “Are you fucking shitting me Sophie? Jeans, no top and a black bow tie around my neck. Everyone is going to think I have turned into a fucking pussy. The media will eat me alive for that.

  “I’m deadly serious. I think it would be a good look for you. Look how sexy that is.” I place the bow tie around his neck and he does look like he can rock it.

  “Hold up Blaine. I think you can do this. Yes, it’s different but we aren’t a conventional band so let’s go with that thought and run with it.” Well I’m glad that someone is on the same wavelength as me, though I didn’t think it would be Mickey that would agree with me.

  “Great so that’s one of you sorted out then. Thank you Blaine for having some trust in me, I promise you won’t regret it.” God I hope this job isn’t going to be like working with a bunch of divas.

  *********

  I managed to get the boys to stock the fridge full of healthy food so that I can at least make a decent meal. I don’t know how they thought they could get by living off of chips and beer. I demanded that the guys went grocery shopping with me when we stopped to pick up some girlie basics. There is no way in hell I can live off of what they eat on a daily basis. They must have the constitution of an ox!

  The grocery shopping trip was interesting to say the least. I pushed the shopping cart around the store surrounded by a bunch of rock stars disguised in sun shades and baseball caps. Little did they realise that they were making themselves more noticeable with their half assed attempt at disguises.

  As we wander through the aisles putting in all the necessary supplies we are going to need over the next few days, I war with the boys over every little item. I joke with Tanner over his need to find the biggest banana on the shelf. “Aww come on Sophie. I know you like the big ones. The bigger the better, isn’t that what they always say, size matters?” I roll my eyes at Tanner’s childlike behaviour. Tanner clutches his stomach in laughter at his own joke.

  I’ve filled the cart with a variety of healthy food
which should keep us going for a few days. Least now I can feed the boys on a better diet than chips and beer. We make our way down to the personal care department and I happen to glance at Josh slyly as I laugh with the others. He has his arms crossed over his chest and is rolling his eyes at the scene playing out in front of him. He obviously doesn’t approve of my banter with his band mates. To hell if I care he can stand back like a sullen child and pout his bottom lip if he wants. I really don’t understand his hot and cold act.

  I’m snapped out of my day dream by Mickey. He halts the cart in front of the shelf with the various packets of condoms on display. “Just stop there sweet thing.” Mickey cracks his knuckles as he weighs up the packaging in front of him. He glances at me seductively and smirks a panty dropping smile. He wiggles his eyebrows at me; I just roll my eyes at him. “Sophie what’s your favourite flavour? You a strawberry girl or good old banana?” Yeah and like I’m ever going to suck your cock Mickey!

  Tanner has collapsed on the floor at the mere mention of banana again. “She wants the banana. She wants the fucking banana.” I try hard not to but I laugh in spite of myself. Tanner’s laugh is infectious especially when he snorts like a damn pig.

  “Banana it is then.” With that Mickey throws in the packet with a smug grin lighting up his face. God, give me strength!

  Mickey pays for the goods and the boys help carry the bags back to the bus. They can be gentlemen when they want. Once inside again I unpack and put the groceries away. Hopefully when I get a decent meal into me I will feel less bloated.

  I’m sitting directly across from Josh and I have Blaine and Tanner on either side of me. It is Mexican night apparently and I made Enchiladas and they are actually very good if I do say so myself. Everyone is laughing and joking about some night in a bar a few weeks ago that led to Blaine puking all over some random girls dress. Now that was something that I would of paid to see, and it didn’t stop him from getting laid that night by the very same girl he had just puked over. Blaine seems to have all the luck with the ladies, he is a serious cutie.