Welcome to the Galactic Shoppers Network

by Ian Rodgers

  Zane was curious as to how a blender, a dehumidifier, four computers, eleven gaming systems and a single Nokia cellphone would possibly be able to make what Rob wanted. He also didn’t want to know.

  He also couldn’t stop his thoughts drifting to the extraterrestrial he’d been talking with lately. She was a lot of fun, and he couldn’t deny that there was a sort of exotic beauty about her. Of course, he only knew her appearance from the commercial.

  Rob had helpfully revealed a few things about the young woman’s species, the Dren. Reptilian and seen as one of the more cultural members of the Alliance, valuing tradition and generally regarded as a calm race.

  The droid had once joked that this meant they were seen as rather boring, and that was probably why he and Chacha got along so well. The robotic companion had been locked in the closet with the vacuum for the rest of the evening after that.

  The rest of the afternoon after Rob got his delivery went by nicely. Even with the sounds of construction in the background the house retained a pleasant atmosphere.

  Part of the general good mood came from Zane. Ever since Rob had accessed the internet through his laptop, the portable computer had been incredibly fast. Coding and operating some of the programs needed for his job were now done in a fraction of the time.

  The droid had assured the human that it had taken all necessary steps to prevent the device from developing an AI, or that one would form within the internet itself.

  Rob had been weirdly smug about that, which made Zane confused. In the end he’d shrugged and assumed the advanced piece of technology had just been glad it remained the most advanced technology on the planet.

  As the day drew closer to dinner Zane’s cellphone decided to start ringing. A glance at the caller ID made him quickly answer.

  “Hello? Don, what’s up?”

  “Zane, has your mother called you yet?” Veronica’s husband sounded panicked, and that set the young man on edge.

  “No, she hasn’t. Why, what’s wrong?”

  “Vera went into labor early! She’s in the operating room right now!’

  Zane swore violently before standing up and pacing about in the living room.

  “Alright, do you need my help? Should I get out to LA?”

  “Not sure yet, but keep your schedule open just in case,” Don said with a massive amount of worry and weariness in his voice. Unconsciously Zane nodded.

  “Thank you for you calling me, Don. Keep me updated.” Zane might not have liked Don’s odd style but the man loved his sister and that was enough reason to approve of him.

  “Of course. Your mother is coming over to help with Jack for now.”

  “How is the little man?” Zane inquired.

  “He’s scared but staying strong.”

  “That’s good. Now go and be with Vera!” Zane ordered. He could imagine Don snapping a salute on the other side of the connection before they hung up, and Zane sank onto the couch now that his energy was drained.

  “Are human births really that dangerous?” The droid on the sidelines asked, even as it was in the process of working on its project.

  “Not usually, Rob. I’m sure the internet’s told you as such. But it doesn’t keep us from fretting,” Zane said with a sigh.

  “I suppose it is that concern that allows sapient organics to bond with their offspring, thus allowing for close knit communities and thus civilizations to rise. It makes sense in a way. Come to think of it, most member species of the Alliance are social creatures with a strong connection with their families.”

  Zane sat, deep in thought on the couch. A million thoughts ran through his mind, some of them louder and stronger than the others.

  “What is the Planetary Alliance?” Zane finally asked, looking over at his robotic companion.

  “Do you wish to know because you are afraid of it, or rather afraid of the unknown?” Rob inquired, hitting the nail on the head as Zane nodded.

  “For a while now, I’ve tried to push everything about the existence of other worlds to the back of my head. The consequences of this whole endeavor terrified me so much that I tried to ignore the very idea that I’d have to pay the piper. But now that my sister… that Veronica is about to have another kid, that I’m getting another niece or nephew… I want to know what to expect, so I can protect them.”

  “If you want to know about them, then let me start with a basic overview,” Rob said after a pause. He continued to tinker, but Zane could tell his mechanical friend’s attention was completely on him.

  “The Alliance is one of the largest and most powerful intergalactic forces, only rivaled by its long time adversary, the Everlasting Hegemony. Its full official name is the Solar Alliance of Independent Planets, but most just shorten it to ‘Planetary Alliance’ or ‘Alliance.’ It is composed of forty-four alien species and hundreds of planets. Each member of the Alliance can run themselves however they see fit. Autocratic, Democratic, Theocratic, Monarchical, whatever. However, all member worlds and species must select a number of ambassadors to represent themselves on the wider galactic stage and follow the wider laws of the Alliance,” Rob began, projecting some images into the air. The emblem of the Solar Alliance of Independent Planets blazed to life, revealing a golden ring with four planets within it in a diamond formation.

  “The Planetary Alliance comprises four main governing bodies, each with their own overviews and purposes. The first is the Planetary Council. Every single world with a certain level of technology and population sends a single representative. Short term legislation, trade agreements, and localized issues such as minor breaches of law between two or more worlds are their duty to resolve. This is the largest branch, but generally seen as the least effective or important.”

  “The second is the House Goodwill. This governing body is for individual governments, rather than planets. They represent national interests and try to control borders as well as intergalactic trade and law between members. Embassies and interspecies relationships tend to fall under their purview. It also monitors the banks and businesses that do intergalactic trade. Crown Corp. has to report to them.”

  “Third and perhaps most tangled to deal with is the Senate Sapient. It is rather small compared to the others, as it has only forty-four members, one for each member species. And therein lies the issue. Some species have more than one government. Take the Hixi, for example.” At that, Rob showed a mantis-like alien with a red and purple mottled carapace.

  “The Hixi are the most numerous species within the Alliance. And there are twelve Hives, their local form of government, which exist. That means they have nearly a hundred seats in the Planetary Council, twelve seats in the House Goodwill, but only a single seat in the Senate Sapient.”

  “How do they decide which ‘Hive’ represents their entire species, then? How does any species?” Zane asked, intrigued.

  “War games, political maneuvering and backstabbing, competitions and whatever they can do that doesn’t lead to full blown war. It is difficult to deal with the Senate because while in theory they represent their entire kind in the Alliance, the nature of multiple governments ends up creating tension. But, for all the troubles it has, the Senate has a lot of pull with creating laws and organizing expansion of territory. They decide if a group can build a new organization, or a species can claim a new planet for colonization purposes.”

  “Lastly, the smallest entity within the Alliance, but the most influential: The Privy Council Select. This nine person governing body oversees everything. The military, law, trade, and more. They are judge and jury for the entire Alliance, and the Chairperson-Elect who leads the Privy Council is the most powerful being in the entire Alliance. The Central Bureaucracy, the main administrative body for the Alliance, answers directly to them.”

  “How does the military work? If each race has their own governments, that means they have their own armed forces?”

  “Each member of the Alliance is allowed to possess a set number of warships, soldiers,
and the like. In exchange, a portion of their military serves a term of duty working directly for the Alliance under the command of the Statesman of Defense, the member of the Privy Council Select who oversees military matters. But in times of total emergency for the Alliance, upwards of 50% of all member’s militaries must work with the PCS.”

  “How can this ‘Privy Council’ function? I mean, wouldn’t favoritism make it hard to run with only a small number of people?” Zane asked, confused.

  “In order to run for office in the Privy Council Select, a being must renounce their citizenship to their home world and species. In essence, they cease to be ‘what’ they were. If, for example, you were to do this, you’d legally no longer be ‘human,’ but a new race, one exclusive to the Alliance. You would be ‘adopted’ by the Ial.”

  “Ial?”

  Rob projected a new species into the air. This one was pale white skinned and abnormally thin with a bipedal body. It almost looked human except for the two toes, three fingers, and completely spherical head with a ring of eyes completely circling its bald cranium.

  “The founders of the Planetary Alliance. They are an old race and a very powerful psychic species. Each was empathic and thus developed an entirely peaceful society. They are seen as angels or saints by many members of the Alliance because in their early days they traveled around uplifting species or curing them of terrible diseases. Sadly, few exist anymore due to a terrible war which led to 98% of their species being wiped out. This did lead to the Alliance forming so they could protect the other, younger species when they eventually die out. The ‘Galactic Standard’ system is based around the Ial’s home world. One GS day is equal to that of one day on Hion, and so on and so forth.”

  “Huh. That makes sense, I suppose. And so they ‘adopt’ other people into their race to protect them?”

  “In a way. It is hard to explain. Imagine if the UN had more power and was treated as a separate government with exclusive citizenship. It would be like renouncing your American citizenship to be an International citizen. You could not run for any office in any country, but you could live anywhere and be legally protected by the local government. That is what it’s like.”

  “Would it be possible for me to apply for this?” Zane asked after a moment. “If I renounce my humanity, could I be protected from any backlash when the Alliance finds outs?”

  “Perhaps. It is something to look into. But you’d likely have to spend some time in jail either way, since you did help create a TI, and just for the principle of the matter of obtaining advanced technology illegally.”

  Zane sighed. This was complicated in ways he utterly despised. Why couldn’t everything be more like coding and math? 1+1=2. Symbols might change, but math was pure and inviolable.

  “We’ll work through this together, Zane. We’ll make sure your family is safe, and you and I are not unduly harmed,” Rob promised.

  A weak smile crossed the human’s lips and he nodded. No use worrying about this too much right now.

  “You’re right. So, what should I have for dinner? Suggestions?”

  Chapter 8

  “Congratulations! Babies are adorable! Well, most infants are.” Zane smiled as Chacha’s praise filled him with a bit of second hand happiness.

  “Thanks Chacha. I’m sure my sister will be glad to know other people find her daughter cute.”

  It had been a week since Veronica had gone into labor a month early. Thankfully there were no complications, and Zane was now uncle to a brand new niece. He was bragging to his interstellar friend all about her now that Rob had finished the relay.

  “Mammalian births are so strange. Eggs are definitely the way to go,” the alien on the other end said as she discussed the pros and cons of shelled birthing containers.

  “I dunno, that seems strange to me. Of course, that might be my bias talking. I personally think milk is awesome, so egg-babies would miss out on that delightful liquid,” Zane responded.

  “Weirdo.”

  “Coming from the person who eats insects.”

  “They’re awesome and crunchy and shut your face!”

  The two shared a laugh before settling down into comfortable silence.

  “So, how’s the spa treating you?”

  “Like a princess! Or at least a very wealthy duchess,” Chacha giggled. “It’s been great. I definitely should have come here earlier. And I still have a few days left before I have to get back to work.”

  “Make sure you enjoy everything you can. It’s not every day you can just relax.”

  “Oh, I will, believe me. But what about you? Are you going to be doing anything special? What about holidays?” Chacha inquired and Zane stroked his chin slightly.

  “Well, there’s a holiday coming up in a month. It’s called Halloween and it’s where kids dress up in costumes and get candy.”

  “Sounds interesting. Is that a Cheebel tradition?”

  Zane shot a look at Rob who quickly manifested an image of an avian being. A brief summary of their traditions was underneath the picture.

  “No, it’s more of a local tradition that evolved from a practice of honoring and pacifying the spirits of the supernatural. Though nowadays it’s mostly a commercial holiday for candy and dressing up. I don’t think it has anything to do with the elaborate mating rituals of the Cheebel, or their love for extravagant clothes.”

  “How fascinating. Will you be dressing up?”

  “Nah, that’s for younger kids. I might just hand out the candy for any of the neighborhood children though,” Zane said with a fond smile.

  “Oh, so you like kids?” Chacha asked, an unfamiliar emotion in her tone. The human just nodded, oblivious.

  “They’re great. And cute. Not sure I’d want to be a father at the moment, so I’ll have to settle with indulging my nephew and niece.”

  “I see.” Something was up with Chacha, even Zane could tell from over the phone.

  “Hey, you want to hear something funny?” Zane said, trying to cheer his friend up.

  “I suppose I could listen. What is it? A joke? Better not be any puns,” Chacha warned.

  “Rob and I were talking about how much time we spend talking, and he made the suggestion that it would look like we were dating each other from an outsider’s perspective! Hilarious, right?”

  A strangled grunt was the only reply, causing Zane to wonder if that was how her kind laughed.

  “I have to go!” Chacha suddenly cried, clicking off the connection. A dull monotone beep was all that came from the line before Rob shut it off.

  “So, are human males naturally this dense or are you just a special little snowflake?” Rob asked. Zane stared at the drone in confusion and the TI gave a static laced sigh.

  Charma sat on her bed, staring at the empty space where the holographic phone display had been moments before. A twitch ran through her crest, and she nervously tapped her fingers together.

  “OK, calm down, this is just a… a… misunderstanding,” the intergalactic idol murmured to herself. “He was just making a joke. A joke! I mean, he was only repeating what his drone… said….”

  She paused as she recalled that as advanced as Crown Corp. PI drones were, they were still restricted in certain areas. If a machine had noticed that they were acting like this then what did that mean?

  “…Oh.” She buried her face within her hands. “If a drone can notice this, who else could? Who else has?!”

  She quickly reached out and began typing in some numbers into her phone, nervously drumming her fingers against the bedsheets.

  “Hello, Karzenk residence.” A similar looking lizard-centaur like herself appeared in the holo-screen, though the scales were a darker shade of blue while the crest was bronze.

  “Dad, it’s me.”

  “Oh, Charma! It’s been a while.” The face in the screen lit up with a smile and the singer felt some of her worries fade as she smiled back at her father.

  “You normally don’t call while you’re
at work. What’s the matter?” Her father inquired, crest ruffling slightly.

  “Well, I’m actually on vacation at the moment,” Charma admitted. “I’m at the Astral Bliss Hotel and Spa in the Kalam system.”

  “Is that so? About time, I say. Your manager’s been running you ragged this past year. I’m glad you’ve had the chance to unwind,” the Karzenk patriarch stated. “So, had fun? Enjoyed any massages? Met anyone?”

  At that last item Charma’s crest wiggled and her expression turned furtive. This did not go unnoticed by her father.

  “By the Ial! You did! HA! Your mother owes me five Credits!” Her father gloated before facing away from the screen.

  “Keela, come quick! I won the bet!”

  “Really?!” A squeal of pure joy caused the idol to flinch as a pink scaled Dren appeared in the image, all but pushing her husband to the side.

  “Oh, I’ve never been so happy to lose a bet! Tell me, what are they like? When can I expect grandbabies?”

  “Mother, please, calm down!” Charma pleaded, holding her hands up. “I haven’t even seen what he looks like!”

  That curbed her parents’ enthusiasm and they regarded their daughter with curiosity.

  “Pardon?”

  “Look, let me explain.”

  It took the idol a few hours to reveal the details of her meeting, or at least talking, with Zane, and by the end the older Dren had cooled down.

  “I was not aware Crown Corp. had such stringent anonymity protocols for testing their new product,” the father, Orm, mused. “If he’s not even allowed to reveal his race or his location the contract must be a real nad-hobbler.”

  “Dear!” “Dad!” the two females cried at the dark blue alien’s crass language.

  “Sorry, slip of the tongue,” Orm said. He stuck out his tongue before getting serious. “So, why did you call? Do you want any advice?”

  “Sort of. You see, Zane’s droid apparently made a comment that we look like a couple from an outsider’s point of view, and I might have reacted badly to that.”

  “How badly?” Keela inquired.