It Started in Texas

by M. B. Feeney

  "That's not what Callaghan thinks."

  I was going to kill that lanky streak of piss. "Oh? What did Matt say?" All of a sudden, I was wide awake and sober.

  "Just that you called, drunk, and said something, and I quote, 'about sprogs, whatever the fuck they are'."

  I introduced my face to my palm and groaned out loud while I struggled to make my way back up the stairs. "I'm gonna maim that boy for life. May piss Karina off, but she'll cope. He'll still be able to fu-"

  "Darlin', he was worried about you. He's a good guy, a bit of a clown, but a good guy."

  "Yeah, I know. That's the problem." I lay back down in bed, knowing I needed to have this conversation with him but with no idea how to start it. "So why'd you listen to Mr. I'm-so-good-with-relationships, then? You could have left it until tomorrow, you know."

  "I know I could have, but Matt was kinda worried about you, and he was grateful that you kicked his ass into gear. He wanted you to know he and Karina are cool."

  "Good. I didn't want to have to kill him."

  Gage chuckled, and my legs turned to jelly at the sound. "You're so good at sorting out other people's relationships. I can see why they come to you."

  "What, the jolt of fear I strike into men’s hearts? It's just called being a good friend. Plus, I like helping people be happy."

  "What about you? Are you happy?"

  "Right now? I feel a bit sick, actually."

  "I meant in general." I could imagine him rolling his eyes at my response. "With me?"

  I'd never heard him sound nervous before.

  "Sure I am." There was a chance that I replied too fast, "Why wouldn't I be?"

  "I don't know. When we're together, you seem happy, but now I'm over here, there always seems to be doubt in your voice. I . . . just wondered why."

  "Gage, I am happy. I really am. But I'm also a realist. I'm too old to give you what you want in life." I’d actually said it. Go me.

  "And what do I want?"

  "A family."

  "I have a family."

  "You know what I mean. You want your own kids. I can't give you that."

  "Uh-uh." I could imagine him shaking his head. "There's nothing to say you can't, not right now at least." Gage paused. "And anyway, if we're in this for the long-haul, we're gonna have more than enough time to try, right?"

  "Gage. I'm thirty-five, I'm too old. I'm not saying I don't want more kids. I would have liked at least one more. I'm saying I don't think I could."

  "And why not? I'm not trying to force you here, I promise. It sounds to me, and don't take this the wrong way, that you're scared. Yes, I'd love to have my own kids, but if it doesn't happen, then so be it."

  "Like you said, if this is a long-term thing, I don't want you to resent me for not making you a daddy. Maybe you should . . ."

  "I should what? What are you trying to say, darlin'?"

  "That maybe you should find yourself someone who’s in the position to give you those things. Maybe those fans were right. Maybe I am too old for you." Tears were rolling down my face.

  "Is that what you want me to do?" His voice was thick but composed.

  "No, not at all. But I keep wondering if you'd be better off with someone younger. That's why I never said anything. I was scared that my saying it would make you realise that was what you wanted."

  "It's not what I want. If it had been, I never would have called you in the first place. Lady, I don't know who you think I am, but Gage Charles Weston will not start something without thinking about the consequences."

  Shit! Now I've pissed him off. I'll be kissing him goodbye sooner rather than later at this rate.

  There was silence on the line for a long minute, and then I heard a low, sexy chuckle. "Now that I've used my full name, do you see where I'm coming from?"

  "I . . . " I hesitated. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

  " I don't go into something half-hearted, including us. If the kid thing doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen. I'm a big boy. I’m sure I could cope, as long as I get to do it with you by my side."

  "That's another thing. I'm not by your side, am I? I know we both have commitments that keep us apart. I don't like to do anything unless I can put my all into it either. Can we do that with us?"

  "I think so. We need to make the most of the time we get together. Actually, that was another reason I called. I'm coming over to the UK. I’m done with the movie promo stuff, and the band is getting a studio break."

  "When?" I couldn't keep the excitement out of my voice.

  "In about two weeks. Is that okay with work and stuff?"

  I flipped through my mental diary. "How long will you be here?"

  "About three weeks."

  "Well, in three weeks I have a week off." God bless half term.

  "Perfect timing."

  "That's fine, but what will you do while I'm at work?" I held in a giggle at a visual image of Gage in an apron, cleaning my kitchen.

  "Oh, I don't know. I thought I might sneak around your school, follow you a little bit, bring you a bagged lunch, maybe give you some of star treatment." He was full-on laughing, and I wasn't far behind him. "Seriously, it'll be fine. I'll hire a car and do the sightseeing thing. My mom and dad want to come over and meet you, too."

  At these words, I froze, then pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it. Nope, I wasn't dreaming. What had I done to deserve this amount of torture in such a short space of time? "Well, as long as it doesn't go the way I'd imagine Karina meeting Matt's parents will go, then I'm all for it." My attempt at humour sounded flat, even to me. "What if they don't like me?" There she was. Good old, insecure me.

  "You worry too much, darlin'. How could they not love you as much as I do after they’ve heard all about how great you are from me and Terri?"

  I let out the breath I was holding. Wait? What? Did he . . . the 'L' word?

  My heart was pounding. If he meant those words, there was no way I could continue to live halfway across the world from him for the foreseeable future.

  "Hey . . . You still there?"

  I shook my head, realising Gage was still talking to me.

  "Charlie?"

  "Yeah, sorry. I zoned out for a minute."

  "Are you okay?"

  Was I? I snuggled into my bed some more. "Sure. I'm fine." How could they not love you as much as I do? The words were playing like a broken record in my head. "I'm just wondering how much you love me." There, I said it.

  "Ah, you caught that, huh?" I could hear the grin he wore in his voice.

  "Just a bit."

  "Listen. While we don't see each other much and it's hard for us to maintain a sense of closeness through phone calls and texts, know this. I love you, and no distance is going to change that unless you want it to."

  "I don't." I paused to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down. "I love you, too. The distance thing is a bitch, but it'll sort itself out. Right?"

  "We'll make it. I gotta go, darlin'. work’s calling. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

  We said our goodbyes and hung up, and I was finally able to get to sleep, a grin on my face that would have put a clown to shame.

  Jaw ache first thing in the morning wasn’t pleasant, but I couldn’t find it in me to complain. Gage had told me he loved me, and while the situation wasn’t ideal, I was over the moon. I pottered around, getting ready for work and getting the kids up and dressed for school. It was a good day until the staff meeting, when the head mentioned the upcoming parent’s evening.

  "Holy shitballs." Gage had said his parents were coming over to the UK. Oh, crap. I could see it now. Introducing his parents to a woman almost ten years older than him with two kids? Yeah, the visual wasn’t pretty. I attempted to push the thought to the back of my mind to worry about later.

  Why was it that when you wanted time to go slowly, it miraculously sped up, whizzing by in a blur? Other than the odd phone call, Gage and I didn't get the chance to speak to each other much since he
was working and I had a school inspection and parent’s evening to prepare for. I managed to chat with Karina a couple of times late in the evening. She was enjoying the job, apart from a couple of fans she had to deal with, who kept asking her to introduce them to the guys, Gage in particular. We encountered fans all over the place, and all they ever wanted was to meet the band.

  I was a bit confused when I got a random phone call from her one evening, asking me for my recipe for shepherd's pie. She sounded like she was running, but I let it go. It hadn’t taken long for me to move beyond asking questions, especially if Matt was involved. I was seriously envious of the two of them being able to spend so much time together, but I didn't begrudge them a moment of it. She gushed a bit about how sweet he’d been to her when she'd been ill, something I'd never have expected. I guess he was in love.

  Jenny was the one I didn’t hear from much because she was on set for at least sixteen hours a day, and then spent as much time as she could with her mum and daughter. She'd sent me a few texts to keep me up to speed and make sure I didn't worry about her, although I still did anyway. Our kids chatted most nights, which pleased both of us. She said that there was a break in filming soon and that she was hoping to come and see us n. I looked forward to it, because I missed the hell out of her. The other girls were always reachable online, which was great.

  However, it came to the point where I couldn't put my worries off any longer. Gage was coming to visit, with his parents, and I was seconds away from imploding. I couldn’t remember feeling this nervous before, not even for job interviews. It was Saturday, and the kids must have picked up on my frazzled nerves since they were being extraordinarily good. They were waiting to be collected by Dermot and his mum for their annual half term week away, and I was running round like a blue-arsed fly, making sure the house was spotless. Why the fuck did I say I'd cook? Why didn't I just agree to going out for dinner? Oh yeah, cause I'm a fucking mug.

  I checked my shopping list for the millionth time just as the front door opened, and the kids flew at their dad and grandma. They stayed for a bit while the kids debated which toys to take and I finished up packing their clothes. Even though Dermot and I weren't together as a couple, I still got on well with my former mother-in-law, for which I was grateful.

  Dermot could see that I was nervous, so while the kids distracted his mum, we went out for a cigarette and I told him about the imminent visit of Gage's parents. He gave me a hug and told me to be myself and not to stress. The situation would have been much more awkward if he hadn’t accepted me moving on and remained friends with me.

  Once the kids had left me with kisses and hugs, I jumped into my own car and made a last-minute run to the supermarket. I'd never done a Saturday dash with so little time but I had too much to do and I still needed to have a shower and make myself presentable. Gage and his parents were due at six and were expecting a proper English roast dinner. Yeah, me and my big fucking mouth. I just hoped they liked me and I didn't give them food poisoning.

  With the meat in the oven and veg waiting to be steamed, I threw together a salad and then setting the table before having a shower and getting myself ready. Clean jeans, a decent top, and my cowboy boots. It was dressy enough without making me look like I was trying too hard. I'd decided on skinny jeans, remembering Gage's reaction the last time I’d worn them. The excitement over seeing him again had managed to overshadow my nerves, at least. I checked the time, and seeing I only had half an hour, I tied up my wet hair into a scruffy up-do without attempting to style it.

  Dinner was almost ready and smelling fantastic. All I could do was go have a cigarette outside and wait. I managed to down three glasses of wine before Gage let himself and his parents into the house. Stubbing out my smoke, I rushed inside to wash my hands before walking into the front room to meet them. My hands were shaking while I dried them on my apron. Before I could say anything to try and make a good impression, I was grabbed by waist and swung around. I managed to hold in the squeal that threatened to escape.

  "Put me down, Gage," I said with a laugh.

  "Fuck, darlin', I've missed you." Gage brought me back to the ground and kissed me, then turned to his parents. "Mom, Dad. This is Charlotte."

  I untangled myself from his arms and held out my hand, my other clasped tight in his and his fingers twisted around my own.

  "It's wonderful to meet you, Mr and Mrs Weston." God, I felt like I was sixteen again.

  "Please, it's Wayne and Margaret, darlin'." The voice and accent were both deeper, but I knew instantly where Gage had gotten his charm. The smile his father wore completely lit up his face just the way Gage’s did.

  "Would either of you like a drink?" I felt like I was being studied. "I have beer, wine, or coffee."

  "A beer would be great, honey. Margaret?" Gage's dad turned to his wife, and I could see the affection they shared.

  "I'd love a glass of wine, sweetheart."

  "Sure. Do you want a beer?" I asked Gage.

  "Please, darlin'."

  He sat on the sofa while I went into the kitchen. I took a couple of deep breaths before turning the gas under the steamer on, pulling open the fridge, and popping open two bottles of beer. It was then that I realised I hadn't asked whether Gage's mum preferred red or white.

  "I'll have white, thanks."

  I jumped a little at the sound of her voice behind me. "A large glass?"

  She smiled and nodded, and I poured a glass and handed it to her. "Terri was right."

  I was confused. "About what?" She didn’t answer, so after a pause, I took the beers into the other room.

  When I went back to the kitchen, I found Margaret was looking at the kid’s pictures stuck all over the walls. Determined to keep myself busy, I checked on the meat in the oven before gathering what I needed to make gravy. I picked up my cigarettes. "Do you mind?" I knew I was in my own house, but my mother had taught me to have manners. She gestured for me to go ahead, so I stepped outside the door and lit up.

  "Your children are beautiful."

  I kept quiet but smiled, unable to disagree with her. “Thank you.”

  "Are they not here today?"

  "No, they've gone to stay with their dad’s mum for a week while they’re off school. They go every year."

  "It's a shame we missed them. I've heard a lot about them from Gage. He speaks highly of all of you." I felt the blush rising in my cheeks. "He’s a good judge of character, too."

  "Yeah, Terri said something similar when I met her."

  Gage's mum nodded. "She likes you, and I know that if she trusts you, so can I. We haven't seen Gage this happy in a long while, and I’m so grateful he found you." Neither of us noticed Gage listening until he stood next to his mum, a small smile on his face.

  "So am I, Mom. End of lecture?" Gage wrapped an arm around my waist and grinned at her.

  "Lecture over. Now, is there anything I can do to help?"

  "Yes, please go and make yourself comfortable whilst I dish everything up."

  As soon as she was out of the room, Gage grabbed me and kissed me deeply.

  "What was that for? Not that I'm complaining, of course."

  "I'd be worried if you did complain, darlin'. And do I need a reason to kiss my lady?"

  Corny much? I rolled my eyes. "Well, no, but this lady is busy trying to impress your parents, so if you don't mind." I pulled away and bent down to open the oven, which was not a good move. Gage slapped me on my arse on his way outside to have a cigarette. I bit my tongue to keep from swearing at him.

  "Damn, boy."

  I straightened up at the new voice.

  "You don't manhandle a lady like that. I did not raise you that way, Gage Charles Weston." His dad was smiling a little, so I knew he wasn't completely serious.

  "But Dad, it’s a fine ass, and she ain't that much of a lady."

  I shot him a filthy look when he winked at me before I turned away and continued to plate up the food.

  Dinner seemed to go
down really well. Soon Gage's mum had ushered the men into the kitchen to do the washing up so I could have a rest and show her pictures of the kids. She cooed over them, which made me feel proud.

  "They really are beautiful, honey."

  I was just about to reply when the phone rang. It was Jenny.

  "Hey, sweets. How's things?" I moved across the room while I talked.

  "Not bad. Hey, is it okay if me and bubs come up for a few days? I want to give my mum a break."

  "Of course it is, but Gage's parents are visiting."

  "Yeah, Wade said. How's the big meet going?"

  "Good." I tried to keep my answers diplomatic. "Just let madam know that the kids aren't here. They've gone away for the week, but they've got their dad’s laptop with them so she can still chat with them."

  "I'll let her know. Gotta run, just wanted to check it was okay. I'll call tomorrow. I now you'll be busy tonight." She hung up before I could respond.

  "Sorry about that. My friend Jenny's coming to visit with her daughter this week." I told Margaret.

  "No worries. Is that Jenny from the forum?"

  I gawked at her for a full minute before I was able to respond. There was a time, when Jenny and I had first met online, when she often wrote about the dreams she’d had about Gage, in full graphic detail

  "Um . . . If I say yes, will you be mad?"

  She burst out laughing.

  "Of course not. I can handle reading that people like my boy. I admired her for her honesty."

  I was gobsmacked. If some of those things had been written about my son, I didn’t think I would be able to handle it.

  "Besides, I hear she's rather taken with young Wade." Margaret winked at me, making me laugh while I topped up her drink.

  "I haven't had much of a chance to catch up with her. We've both been really busy with work."

  "Of course. You're a teacher, aren't you?"

  Cue the long discussion about my job and why I loved it. Gage and his dad joined us once the kitchen was spotless, and the rest of the evening passed by. We got to know each other, and I never once felt like I was facing the Spanish Inquisition. Soon it was time for them to leave.