New Beginnings

by Megan Keith

  “Why is that? Is it because you’re too chicken shit to make a move? Because the lame excuse of ‘he’s not interested’ isn’t gonna cut it no more.”

  “But he’s not-”

  “He is.”

  “He was on a date!”

  “You sure about that? My guess is she’s just a work colleague, nothing more.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “No, but neither do you, B.”

  I sigh in defeat. She’s got me there. I don’t know that it was a date. Though I can’t see him being interested in me when he could get someone who looks like that - and Barbie made it plainly obvious that he could, with the way she was flirting with him the whole time they were here. I’m about to ask Scar how she even knows they work together, when she basically answers the question for me.

  “By the way, he won’t be in today. Barbie, as you like to call her, ordered their lunch via phone earlier. Takeaway.”

  “See?” My heart sped up at the realisation.

  “See nothing. That doesn’t mean a thing.”

  “Sure it doesn’t.”

  “B, it really doesn’t.” Scar stops the lunch she’s making and turns her full attention to me so that I have no choice but to listen. “She ordered lunch for six people. Lunch meeting apparently, so there’s no way it means anything. Speaking of, here’s the order. All yours.”

  That is that. Conversation over. Scar returns to the lunch she was working on and I make a start on the ones for KR Finance, really wishing I knew which one was Barbie’s so I could spit in it. No, I wouldn’t really do that … but the idea makes me smile.

  About half an hour later, a short guy with curly hair appears, requesting to pick up the order. Scar sorts it with him while I’m serving another customer. I’m feeling disappointed that I don’t get to see Seth today but that soon dissipates when Scar hands me an envelope.

  “What’s this?”

  “A note from Seth apparently,” she says with an ‘I told you so’ look on her face. I’m in too much of a hurry to get the envelope torn open to bother an attempt at a witty comeback.

  B,

  I hope you enjoyed your movie yesterday. Extremely busy at work. I’d call you tonight to catch up but I still don’t have your number. I figured you must have misplaced mine so here’s another business card … or five.

  Seth.

  Sure enough, there are five business cards in the envelope. I can’t help but laugh. Little does he know I’ve already stored his number in the contacts on my phone.

  “So, what’s it say?” Scar eagerly asks from behind me.

  “Why are you asking when it’s obvious you’ve already read it over my shoulder?”

  “I haven’t. Hold it still so I can!”

  “Here.” I thrust the paper at her and bite my lip while I watch her read it. I’m thrilled that he remembered my Wednesday movie habit. “So?” I ask Scar when she hands the note back to me.

  “Call him.”

  “What do you think it means?”

  “He wants you to call him,” she repeats slowly, like she’s talking to a child.

  “But-”

  “B … just bloody call him.” She squeezes my shoulder.

  ***

  I don’t call him. I’m too much of a wuss to do that. After about my fifth attempt to press the call button I decide to text him instead.

  Can I buy you dinner?

  Tossing the phone onto my kitchen bench like it just burned me, I stare at it like it might just burst into flames. I chew on the edge of my thumb, while I fidget nervously and practically jump a foot in the air when the phone buzzes at me. My heart races as I pick it up and swipe the screen. And then plummets to a stop when I read the message.

  Seth: Who is this?

  Who is this? Seriously? Now I feel like a real idiot! Of course, he doesn’t have my number, how could he know who the text is from?

  It’s Bianca

  I reply, again jumping out of my skin when I get a message right back.

  Seth: Bianca who?

  My lips curve into a smile. Bianca who? Yeah right. How many Bianca’s could he possible know?

  Har-de-har, very funny!

  I text him and then when he doesn’t immediately respond I begin to wonder if maybe he knows a whole stack of Bianca’s. What if …? I realise how ridiculous I’m being when his next text comes through.

  Seth: Har-de-har??? Really?

  Me: Yep

  Seth: Do you know that LOL is much quicker to type and also a widely accepted abbreviation?

  I laugh aloud before responding.

  Me: Do you know that your nerd is showing?

  Seth: Shit. I wouldn’t want that to happen.

  I try to think of something witty to type but before I get a chance to respond he sends another text.

  Seth: On second thought, my inner nerd would say that I much prefer you to type ‘Har-de-har’ instead of the rudimentary LOL that so many others use. I like that you don’t conform.

  He likes that I don’t conform? A huge jolt of electricity bolts through my body with that. Is he flirting with me? Should I flirt back? Wait. I’m reading way too much into this. Not knowing what else to type I go back to my original question.

  Me: So … dinner?

  When he doesn’t respond straight away I text him again.

  Me: My shout

  Seth: Depends...

  Me: On?

  Seth: If you can handle all of my nerdiness

  Me: Oh, I can more than handle it. I’m more concerned that you can’t handle me in all of my awesomeness!

  I cringe at my poor attempt at flirting and again bite my thumb with nerves while waiting for his response. Minutes tick by and I begin to get annoyed that he’s making this so difficult for me. And that I’m being so damn impatient. I collect my phone and try again.

  Me: Yes or no? Or should I just ask someone else to grab a pizza with me?

  Seth: Pizza sounds great!

  Satisfaction at his quick response on that one brings a smile to my face.

  Me: Meet me on the corner of Elizabeth & Brown in 30 minutes?

  Seth: Ok C U then

  Me: I’ll be the one in the triangle shaped dress ;)

  Winky face? Why am I winking at him? That’s so lame! And why did I say triangle dress? I look down at what I’m wearing - jeans and a t-shirt. Great, now I have to change!

  If a casual dinner with a friend is all this is, why on earth do I feel like I have a date? Is it a date?

  Shit. Does it even matter?

  By the time I’m ready to leave the house I’m bundle of nerves.

  Seth

  I haven’t been able to stop grinning since Bianca first texted me and as I walk towards where she’s currently standing on the street corner I feel my grin widen. There she is in her ‘triangle’ dress, her hair the neatest I’ve ever seen it; long silky waves flowing down her back. She’s looking gorgeous. She doesn’t see me straight away so I slow my pace to take her in. I watch her glancing up and down the street. She’s fidgeting and if I didn’t know any better I’d say that was a nervous look on her face.

  I notice the sign in front of the restaurant that says, “Free large pizza with every $12 garlic bread” and laugh, catching Bianca’s attention.

  “Oh, so you’re taking me out for free pizza? I’m not a cheap date usually,” I say with a grin on my face.

  “Free pizza yes, but look at the price of the garlic bread!” She smiles at me and turns to enter the restaurant when I open the door for her. I follow her over to a small table in the corner and we both sit.

  “Pretty clever marketing.”

  “Isn’t it?” She nods. “They always do fun signs like that out front.”

  “So you come here a fair bit then?”

  “Shit yeah, the food’s great here.”

  It becomes more than obvious that she’s a regular when a grey-haired man heads over to our table with a big friendly smile on his face. “Bia
nca, it’s good to see you!” he greets her with a soft pat on the shoulder, then places a couple of menus on the table.

  “Hey Craig! How’s things?”

  “Good sweetheart, really good. Can I get you two a drink?”

  We both order a Coke and Craig leaves with a, “Shirl will be over to take your order soon.”

  A couple of minutes later, we’ve chosen our food and a woman named Shirl is standing at our table, taking our order and chatting away happily with Bianca. B’s all smiles and friendly and sweet, it’s kind of mesmerising to watch, not something I’ve seen nearly often enough. When Shirl finally walks away I silently watch Bianca take a sip of her Coke and then lick her lips. After a moment I realise I’m staring at her mouth and take a sip of my own drink as a distraction.

  “You obviously come here a lot,” I say, feeling like an idiot. Didn’t I already say that?

  Bianca

  “Yeah,” I shrug, “food’s good and the staff are friendly and fun.” When the last word leaves my mouth I falter, my eyes catching on a set of steely blue ones across the way. Jason is behind the bar. And by the look he’s giving me he’s remembering exactly how much fun we had the last time we saw each other. It was months ago. I’d come in for a pizza, I was on my own and feeling a little sorry for myself; it had been a couple weeks since I’d kicked Dean out. I had one too many drinks, one thing led to another and-shit, he’s coming over! Fuck, fuck, fuck. He’s not supposed to be here!

  “B! Where you been?” he booms loudly when he reaches our table. He’s all smiles and teeth and perfect sandy blond surfer hair.

  “Hey Jase!” I greet him as he leans down for this awkward lopsided hug thing. When he rights himself his eyes are so focused on mine it’s hard to look away. I can see the desire in them and it reminds me of all the things we did the last time we met. My cheeks flame and I quickly have a gulp of my Coke to cool down.

  “I haven’t seen you since …” his eyes flick to Seth momentarily and then back to me. He chuckles. “Since you know … what’s it been? Three months?”

  “Yeah, I guess.” Since ‘you know’, gee that wasn’t subtle at all! “I thought you didn’t work here anymore.” The only reason I slept with him in the first place was because he was leaving his job. I thought I’d never see him again. I sure as hell wouldn’t have brought Seth here if I thought there was any chance of running into Jase.

  “I just came back last week,” he explains. “The other job didn’t work out so well and Craig offered to take me back so … here I am.”

  “Yep, here you are,” I mutter. I’m suddenly conscious of Seth’s eyes on us and the awkwardness of the situation escalates a notch. “Oh, um, Jase, this is my … friend, Seth.”

  “Hey Seth, nice to meet you.” Jase holds his hand out and the two of them shake. They assess each other with curious looks before Jase returns his focus to me. I feel his eyes raking over my body. “You’re looking good B. Real good.”

  “Oh, thanks?” I swallow uneasily, my eyes flicking in Seth’s direction.

  “Sorry, I should let you get back to your date,” Jase says with a smirk.

  “Um, it’s …” Fuck! What the hell do I say? I don’t know, are we on a date? I don’t know what this is. “It’s not a …” I fumble. I don’t want to encourage Jase, that’s the last thing I want, but I don’t want to assume anything with Seth either, or make this into more than he’s willing it to be.

  “We should go out sometime B,” Jase says, making the situation even worse. I’m still struggling with a response when he continues, “Craig’s giving me the evil eye, I better get back to work. See ya soon.”

  “Bye,” I reply, barely above whisper level and then stare at my hands in my lap. When I finally get the nerve to lift my head I’m relieved to see Seth smile at me. I don’t know what I thought he’d be doing but the genuine look on his face puts me at ease. “Sorry about that. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to come here, I’ve hardly had the time to talk to you so far.”

  “Miss Popular aren’t ya?” Seth teases.

  My only answer is to blush and gulp down my drink then quickly excuse myself to use the bathroom.

  When I return to the table I expect Seth to say something about Jase, so when he asks about Matt instead it takes me by surprise.

  “What’s the deal with you and Matt then?”

  “Huh?”

  He looks unsure as he speaks, “You and Matt - what’s the situation?”

  “There is no situation.” I know I don’t sound convincing and the look on Seth’s face lets me know he doesn’t think so either.

  “I was under the impression he was your boyfriend.”

  “What? No!” I shake my head in protest. “No way.”

  “Really? The two of you looked pretty cosy the other night.”

  “I wasn’t cozied up with Matt.” I feel myself getting angry. How could he think that? “We’re definitely not together.”

  “So he’s your ex then?”

  “Hell no!” Wow, is he jealous? I think he is. I feel like doing a small victory dance. At the same time, I’d love to punch Matt in the face for potentially ruining what might have been. “Seth, I don’t like Matt. I’m not with him, never have been and I don’t ever want to be either. He’s just a horrible flirt,” I reply with a shrug, trying to appear calmer than I feel. Then I remember the way Matt was playing up last weekend, and it occurs to me that Seth might have seen something that gave him the wrong idea. “Matt may have had hands on me last week but it wasn’t by invitation. Believe me.”

  I catch Seth’s eye as Shirl places our pizza on the table and can see he’s wanting more of an explanation than that. “Thanks Shirl.” She gives us both a smile and quickly leaves.

  “So there’s nothing going on?” he asks, before taking a slice of pizza and putting it on my plate. “’Cause it seemed like there was history there or something.”

  “Okay,” I concede with a sigh. Might as well fill him in. “I guess I fell for it once - his charms. I thought Matt was a bit of alright. He gave me a lift home from Scar and Ben’s one time, not long after we’d met. I’d always wanted to ride on a Harley, so ... He’d been flirting with me all night and I thought …” I swallow. “I thought maybe it was the beginning of something ... but I was wrong. We got back to my place, we kissed and so he automatically assumed he was going inside with me. When I said no, he tried, rather forcefully, to convince me otherwise.”

  “What did he do?” Seth asks in an alarmed tone. His dark eyes going wide. “Did he …?”

  “Oh no, nothing like that! I bruised his overly large ego and he rode off into the night. I didn’t hear from him for a couple of weeks. Then the next time I saw him at Scar and Ben’s, he was all over some other girl that didn’t say no. End of story.”

  Seth continues to look at me with concern.

  “Matt didn’t actually hurt me, Seth,” I assure him. “But it’s nice to know you care. He’s just a jerk that tries it on with everybody.” I shrug, “Scar warned me but I refused to listen. It’s ancient history. Really.”

  “It didn’t look too ancient last Friday night.”

  “What can I say? The guy’s an annoying sleaze. I’m used to it, but not interested.” I grin at him. “Like at all.”

  “I’m glad. You can do better than him B.” He gives me a genuine smile.

  “Thanks.” If by better does he mean himself? I sure hope so.

  “Mmm, this is so good,” Seth says around a bite of pizza.

  “Told ya.”

  We eat in silence for a while, both of us savouring the delicious pizza and both lost to our own thoughts.

  “Jase keeps looking this way. Are you going to go out with him?” Seth asks.

  “No. I’m not interested in Jase.”

  “Anymore?”

  “I never really was,” I explain awkwardly. I don’t want Seth to think that I’m unavailable to him but I don’t really want to admit to having a one night stand either,
so I stretch the truth a little. “We went out once, he’s not for me.”

  “Oh? He’s an improvement on Matt at least. Maybe you should give him another go.”

  At first I’m unsure whether he’s teasing or being serious. Then it hits me. He’s only acting as a concerned friend, this is not a date and he is not jealous. My anger from before comes rolling back. He’s a friend. That’s all. Yet he thinks he can dictate who I date? He has a Barbie so what does he care?

  “Yeah, well, you could do better than Barbie too, you know,” I say snidely.

  “Barbie?” He looks confused before he breaks out into a laugh. “Oh, you mean Lisa?”

  “I don’t care what her name is!”

  “Don’t you?” He raises an eyebrow at me and gives me a smug smile which only angers me further. “I think maybe you do care.” I’m stunned into silence and his smile fades, before he clears his throat. “It’s funny I think of her as Barbie, too. I don’t give a shit about Lisa. She forced herself onto my lunch break the other day.”

  “Yeah right! You didn’t seem to mind,” I tease, trying to pass off my feelings as playful, when they’re anything but. “I saw you touching her.”

  “Touching her?” He seems repulsed at the thought and I can’t help but feel a little relieved.

  “You had your hand on the small of her back,” I explain.

  “I did? Huh. I didn’t realise I did that. I better be more careful from now on. I don’t want her getting any wrong ideas.” Then his eyes meet mine. “Or you.”

  “It doesn’t matter to me. You can date whoever you want.” Lie. All lies.

  “Right.” He shakes his head, looking disappointed and I wish I could take it back.