New Beginnings

by Megan Keith

  “This is my café, don’t mind if I do.” She sighs dramatically. “I know you slept with her.” I almost choke on my mouthful. I never expected B to tell anyone about our ‘little mistake’. “So why are you avoiding her? That’s a fucked up thing to do, you know. I thought better of you than that.”

  “I’m not avoiding her.”

  “No? You haven’t been in all week and now you come in on a Wednesday arvo, knowing she won’t be here. What would you call that?”

  I toss my sandwich back on my plate. I wasn’t enjoying it anyway. I feel Scar’s eyes on me but I can’t meet them. I feel like shit. She’s right.

  “I don’t know what else to do, Scar. What happened with Bianca … it was a mistake.”

  “Do you really think that?” I can’t answer her because then I’d have to lie again. “You know what I think?”

  “I’m sure you’re gonna tell me whether I want to hear it or not.”

  “Absolutely.” She gives me an almost sinister looking smile. “You and B are so alike. Both of you are scared to take this thing any further and that’s a damn shame. What happened with you two wasn’t a mistake.”

  “That’s not what she said.”

  “Of course she didn’t! What did she say? She was drunk? It shouldn’t have happened?” I only nod in confirmation, unable to repeat the words aloud. “You know she only said what she thought you wanted to hear. She took the easy way out and you’re doing the same. But how easy is it when both of you are so damn miserable, huh?” She’s miserable? The silence stretches between us. I stare at my half eaten lunch until Scar’s voice snaps me out of it. “Do you care for her at all?”

  “Of course I do!”

  “Then you owe it to her to man up and give this thing a go.” Her anger dissipates and she says in a softer tone, “She could love you, if you let her.”

  That causes me to lift my head. I can see that Scar actually means what she’s saying and it gives me a little hope.

  “Say you’re right-”

  “I’m right,” Scar buts in, causing me to smile for the first time in days.

  “If you’re right and Bianca and I give it a go, it won’t last. My job ends in a matter of weeks and I’ll be leaving Sydney. What’s the point?”

  “The point is things could work out. It could be amazing! You could stay in Sydney or take her back to Melbourne.” Scar shrugs like it’s the simplest of answers.

  “The last time I asked a girl to move interstate with me it ended badly.”

  “Then she was the wrong girl. Maybe Bianca’s the right one. You’ll never know if you don’t try. Just think about that.” And with those wise departing words she leaves the table.

  ***

  When I finally work up the courage to call Bianca she doesn’t answer. She doesn’t answer any of the numerous calls I make over the next few days either. I text her a couple of times too, and get no response.

  It’s too late. Whether she lied the morning after that amazing night is irrelevant. I was the one that ran out and avoided her for days on end, and now it’s too late.

  Bianca

  After a tiresome week of avoiding Seth, I walk into Scar’s ready to get absolutely trashed. I need to do something to get my mind off him and Friday night drinks with friends seems as good a way as any. Seth hurt me a lot more than I expected. As the days have worn on I’ve felt the hole in my heart getting wider and wider. It feels like the worst kind of break up, which is odd when we weren’t even a couple. It was one night. I need to get over this.

  “Thanks sweetheart,” Johnno says when I pass him a beer. I collapse on the lounge beside him, taking a swig of my own before placing it on the coffee table. The guys have decided to give the cards a miss tonight in favour of watching the footy on TV. It doesn’t interest me in the slightest but I stare at the telly anyway. I mull over the numerous texts Seth has sent and know I’m being stubborn and pigheaded by not responding. They’ve all been along the lines of ‘please call me back’ and ‘we need to talk’. Nothing too out of the ordinary, or necessarily bad, but I’m too chicken shit to ‘talk’ with him. I don’t want to go back to just being friends. I don’t think I can give him that. Knowing what it is like to sleep with him? Knowing how he makes me feel? No, I can’t be friends with him.

  And that stings so badly because I really miss having him around.

  “Hey Seth!” Ben says and I lift my head in time to see him entering the room. His eyes burn into mine. He doesn’t return Ben’s greeting he just stands there, staring at me with an intensity that has my heart racing. Shit!

  “Can we talk?” he asks me from the other side of the room. I can feel all eyes on us and look up to see Scar smirking at me. Yep, there’s no avoiding him now, it seems she’s saying with that look. She’d be right.

  Johnno gives me a nudge. “I think he’s talking to you, love,” he says with a soft and encouraging smile, leaving me no choice but to stand up.

  I quickly walk out of the room, intending to go out the back door and into the yard, somewhere private where we can talk. I don’t make it that far though. Seth grabs my arm as I pass him and before I know what’s happening my back is pressed to the wall in the hallway. His body is close to mine but his hand on my arm is our only point of physical contact. Seth’s brown eyes seem darker tonight and the potency in them causes me to swallow thickly.

  “You weren’t meant to be here,” I whisper. His eyes search mine, but he remains silent. “These are my friends, Seth. Not yours.” It’s a low blow but it’s true.

  “It wasn’t a mistake.”

  His voice is so soft I’m not sure I heard him right at all. My eyes flick to his mouth and I ask him, “What?” on a gasp. This time I watch his lips as he talks.

  “That night, Bianca. It wasn’t a mistake.” He leans into me, his body now pressing into mine. “I can see it now. You don’t think it was a mistake either.” His mouth is hovering so close to mine that I can feel his warm breath and practically taste him. My eyes flick to his. “Do you?” he whispers insistently.

  I can’t speak, I’ve lost all ability, so I shake my head against the wall and that’s all the answer he needs before smashing his lips to mine. The heat of his kiss is insane, so passionate and hot that all I can think about is ripping off his clothes and getting him inside me. He murmurs something against my mouth that I don’t understand.

  “Hmmm?” I ask before dipping my tongue in his mouth. His hands push on my shoulders, separating us.

  “I said let’s get out of here.”

  I nod my head in response, speech isn’t an option right now. I take his offered hand and allow him to hastily pull me along the hallway. Glancing into the lounge as we pass, I spot Scar waving her fingers at me from her seat on the armchair. She has a smug smirk on her face and I can’t help the goofy grin I give back.

  Seth

  The drive back to Bianca’s is a silent one. The air in the car is thick with sexual tension and things left unsaid - things that can wait until later, because as soon as the car is parked in front of her house we are a rush of mouths and limbs the whole way to her bed. Clothes disappear in a blur and then B’s on the edge of the bed, rolling a condom on me. We both groan loudly as I enter her. It’s different this time, there’s a desperation between us, it’s rushed and rough, yet just as powerful, if not more so, than the first time.

  “Yes!” she calls as she shudders around me and I have a hard time keeping control but I manage it, because I don’t want this to end between us just yet. I need more. I withdraw and get her to roll over and then I take her from behind. The sex we’re having is animalistic and raw and I can’t get enough. It’s intense.

  I gently bite and lick her shoulder blade as our bodies bump together, sticky with sweat. She groans and gets up on all fours. I slink my hand underneath her body and rub her clit furiously until she’s again climaxing and calling my name.

  “Fuck!” I yell as I come the hardest I think I’ve ever come in my l
ife. “Bianca, oh god!” I grunt and we both collapse on the bed, breathless.

  Eventually our breathing evens out and I realise I need to get off her. She exhales when I withdraw. I toss the condom and turn in time to see Bianca covering herself with a sheet.

  “Don’t do that,” I say.

  “What?”

  “Cover yourself. Don’t hide from me.” I pull the sheet from her and collapse at her side with a sigh.

  She giggles. “What. Was. That?” Her whole body is still shuddering with the after effects of what that was. “That sex was…” The wide grin that breaks across her face is all I need to see, no words are required to describe what that was.

  “I can tell you one thing it wasn’t.” I pull her towards me, tucking her into my body as we face each other; our skin on skin contact purely blissful.

  Her arms wrap around my shoulders, pressing her still trembling boobs into my chest. “A mistake?” she asks, biting her lip to contain her smile.

  “Yep, it definitely wasn’t that.” I wrap my arm tighter around her waist and pull her closer still. I clasp her neck with my palm and whisper, “It was never a mistake.”

  “Agreed.”

  ***

  We’ve been quietly talking for about an hour. Our bodies have been wrapped together in bed, the skin on skin contact never breaking, when Bianca asks, “So what now? What does tonight mean Seth?”

  “What do you want it to mean?” The fact that I feel blissfully happy, and the both of us have barely stopped smiling, is all that I need to know right now. I don’t need to label this, I just need more of it. I’ll be happy with whatever she wants to do as long as it doesn’t include pushing me away. When I entered Scar and Ben’s lounge room tonight, and saw the miserable look on her face, I knew. I knew that Scar was right, B was hurting because of me and I had to fix it. I don’t know where we go from here but I do know I want to be with her in whatever capacity she’ll take me.

  “I’d like it to mean that we’re together now,” she says, unsurely. “Like just us. I don’t want to see anyone else and I don’t want you to either. But we don’t have to be serious, like, we don’t have to label it if that’s not what you want. No pressure. I-”

  I press a finger to her mouth and chuckle. “I love how you blabber and get all flustered and talk way too fast when you’re nervous.” The daggers she shoots at me as she mumbles against my finger only make me laugh again. “And I know I told you about my issues with sticky labels,” I chuckle, “but I think I’d be pretty happy to be labelled as your boyfriend.” It slips from my mouth without thought because it feels right. It shuts her up too, her eyes soften and I remove my hand. “So what do you say, B? Can I call you my girlfriend?”

  “Really?” she asks with such hope in her voice that I feel my heart skip a beat.

  “Yeah,” I reply as casually as I’m capable of doing.

  None of this was planned but it somehow seems perfect and it kind of scares the shit out of me. Reminding me of how quickly feelings escalated with the last relationship I had and how easily it also fell apart.

  “So then … boyfriend …” I do love the sound of that. Bianca beams at me before rolling me to my back and climbing on board. “Just how good is your stamina?” I push a few stray hairs from her face and stare into her beautiful blue eyes. They’re full of happiness and it makes my chest fill with pride. I did that. I’ve never seen her look so glorious and to think it’s my doing…? Well.

  She rubs her naked crotch against my groin, distracting me from my thoughts. My body responds instantly, physically showing her that I’m more than ready for round two. She looks down on me with surprise and I give her a smug wink, even though I too, am quietly wondering how the hell my dick can be so constantly hard around her.

  Bianca

  He’s a maniac in the sack. Who’d have thought Seth was so damn talented and passionate? The slightly shy ‘Nerd Boy’ was a sex god underneath. Three times we did it last night and I’m absolutely exhausted, my limbs heavy and unwilling to move. And that’s why I’m currently ignoring my phone. Why it’s ringing at this god awful hour I have no idea. I decide to continue to ignore it as it consistently annoys the hell out of me from inside my bag, somewhere on the bedroom floor. I don’t even lift my head from my pillow when I feel Seth stir beside me. I do however shoot up in bed when I hear him answer it.

  “Hello?” His voice is sexier in the morning; thick with sleep. His bed hair is sticking up everywhere, exactly like someone has been tugging on it, because they have; that person would be me. I grin smugly at the thought. I catch his dark gaze trained on my bare breasts and realise the sheet has dropped. I don’t even care. Let him look. I feel my body heat and I bite my lip as my eyes trail down to his morning wood. “It’s her boyfriend.” Seth’s words pull me from my dirty thoughts. What? Whose boyfriend? What’s he on about? “Yeah, I’ll put her on.” He steps closer to the bed and hands me the phone. I take it and stare at it, my mind still a half-asleep, foggy, sexy-hazed mess. “It’s your mum.” What? Did he just out us to my mum? Damn it.

  Pulling the phone to my ear, I sputter, “Hello.”

  “Bianca!” Mum screeches, causing me to flinch. “You have a boyfriend? Since when? And how come you never mentioned it to me?” She’s so excited and giddy that her voice is louder than I can handle and I’m forced to move the phone away from my ear. Seth grins at me, obviously he’s heard what she’s said. I watch his bare arse disappear out of the room and I tune back into what my mother is saying. “He better be there tonight. I can’t wait to meet him.” Shit! I’d forgotten all about tonight.

  Seth re-enters the room with a glass of water in his naked hand and all I can think about is his very naked everything as my eyes wander. I can hear my mum blabbering in my ear but I don’t hear a word she’s saying. Seth scrunches his brow and looks at me with concern in his eyes.

  “Hang on a sec, Mum,” I say into the phone before pulling it away and covering it with my hand. Mum has been wanting to see me for a while and in my depressed Seth-less state last week I weakened to her hints and invited her and her husband Jack over for dinner. I never expected such a change in events between then and now. “I’m sorry, Seth, I totally forgot my mum’s coming over for dinner tonight,” I explain apologetically. “She’s um … but-but now she knows you- well, she knows you’re here, so she kinda wants to meet you. I know this is too-”

  “Dinner tonight? I can do that.” He smiles kindly at me and I blink at him a few times. Can he be serious?

  “You sure?” I ask him. He only nods. Oh my god, Seth is going to meet my mum. As my boyfriend! My heart is pounding so strong and fast that I can hear it in my ears. “Yes, Mum, Seth will be here.”

  “Ooh fantastic! Do you want me to bring anything?”

  “Nope. I can handle it.”

  “Six-thirty?”

  “Yep. See you then.” I hang up and drop the phone on the mattress in a daze. Seth crawls onto the bed beside me and I turn to him. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

  “What?” He chuckles.

  “You’ve just subjected yourself to a night of misery in the company of my overbearing mother.”

  “I’ll cope.” He laughs. He clearly has no idea what he’s in for.

  Seth

  Okay, so meeting Bianca’s mother less than twenty-four hours after becoming her boyfriend was not something I’d planned on, but the way it’s stressing Bianca out is kind of hilarious. Anyone would think the end of the world was coming, or the queen was visiting, by the way she’s reacting to the phone call. After the initial shock wore off she dashed for the bathroom to shower. We had a quick breakfast and then spent an hour out grocery shopping. After getting home and putting the food away Bianca started cleaning the house - not just a little bit, but every single inch, from top to bottom. I offered my assistance but she wouldn’t let me help. I felt like I was only getting in the way and, as I was still wearing the same clothes from the day before,
I decided to leave her to it, go home and get showered and changed.

  Bianca

  Husband number three, Jack, sits idly by while Mum fires twenty questions about Seth at me. I look on him with sympathy. How does he put up with her? She never shuts up and he barely speaks, that’s it I guess. Jack is really hard to talk to. At first, when Mum began dating him, I thought he was a snob but, over time, I realised that he’s just not much of a talker. It’s virtually impossible for me to hold a conversation with him. I tried in the beginning but eventually I gave up trying to include him. And honestly, I think he was relieved that I stopped. So now we exchange boring pleasantries and then happily ignore one another while Mum talks both our ears off. He’s quite boring really. I guess Mum gets to do and say whatever she wants while he just quietly goes along with it, maybe that’s the appeal for them both in this relationship. I don’t know to be honest, they seem perfectly mismatched. I’m just happy she’s happy with him because that means she stays out of my life all the more.

  “So when is Seth going to get here?” Mum asks again. “I thought you said he’d be here at six-thirty.”

  “I did.” You were meant to be here at six thirty, too, I silently add. Of course she got here early. Thirty minutes early to be exact. Luckily I had anticipated that and had changed clothes and gotten dinner organised and into the oven nice and early. We’re seated in the lounge room and I’m doing everything I can not to show my nerves. Can’t believe I’m about to have a ‘meet the parents/boyfriend’ scenario!

  “You better hurry. You’ve only got a few minutes to get ready,” Mum says in her usual rude manner. I feel my hackles rise. It’s bad enough I’ve had to answer all of her questions but if she’s about to start criticising me she can think again. I don’t respond, just lean forward and grab a couple of nuts from the bowl on the coffee table and pop them in my mouth. “Bianca?”