Here to Stay

by Adriana Herrera

  * * *

  This was much more than just making waves—we were letting someone get away with doing something that could potentially hurt clients. And I wanted my job, but not by keeping quiet on things I knew weren’t right. “Gail.” The muscles in my neck felt like they would snap as I tried to keep my voice from shaking. “This isn’t just about rocking the boat.”

  She deflated at my words, and at least I was glad to see she wasn’t taking this lightly. “I know, believe me I do. And it’s complicated with Vicki. You know how well connected she is with some of the districts.”

  It was true, she was helpful when we were first developing those relationships. I just nodded, not sure how I felt about that keeping us from calling her on the carpet for her bullshit. “You know those connections are vital to us, and she would not hesitate to do something out of spite.”

  She was right—Vicki was petty enough to try and get us kicked out if she got fired.

  “We do need the relationships with the schools.”

  “Exactly.” Her voice was tired and I could not blame her. “I’ll keep a closer eye on Vicki for the next few weeks, and once the consultants are gone, I’ll deal with her. I promise. What I do want you to prioritize is this visit. I know you plan your academies way in advance, so I’m sure everything will be great. Duke Sturm, Phil, and the consultant Rocco.” She smiled at the mention of his name and I wondered if she could tell my pulse had just increased exponentially. “He was impressed with what he saw on his visit. And we need all the help we can get.”

  She kept talking, but my head was filled with Rocco. Just the thought of him all businesslike in his suit—those blue eyes raking over me—made my blood boil. I never fucking learned.

  I cringed thinking of that text I’d sent him the other night. I’d been freaking out and instead of leaving shit alone I’d sent the mother of mixed signals. I was beginning to think that dating a man-child on and off for so many long years had left me emotionally stunted, and Rocco was taking the brunt of it.

  “Julia.” I jumped, which I’m sure looked totally normal to Gail. “Are we good, then?”

  I nodded and stood up, trying hard to present her with my most reassuring face possible. “Yes, of course. I’ll make sure they have a good visit.”

  Like I had a choice. I stood up and walked my ass back to my cube with my phone already out, calling all the program staff who were involved in the academy. I’m sure they’d be less than thrilled to hear that we’d have to set up yet another dog and pony show for this IPO debacle. My Thanksgiving weekend of solitude could not come soon enough.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rocco

  Who else is up for the wine and beer Thanksgiving event at the arboretum? I think it’s like a pumpkin patch but with booze.

  I had to reread that statement before I sent it to the group, just to give myself a moment to digest I’d actually typed that for other people to see.

  I, Rocco Quinn, hailing from Queens, New York, was actively trying to get people into the idea of going to a pumpkin patch. I’d seen a tweet from the Dallas Arboretum advertising some kind of wine and beer event that involved hanging out in a field of squash and had retweeted it tagging the exiles. Did I give a single fuck about pumpkins or even had a clue what people got up to in a patch full of them?

  Short answer: NO.

  But I was desperate to hear from Julia, since she’d pretty much iced me out after that group-text fiasco. And that should’ve been the end of it. But fuck, I liked this woman. Seeing her all week and having to keep it all casual after I knew what she tasted like had been torture. And even though everything about this plan was stupid, I kept staring at my screen waiting for notifications.

  “We should be there in twenty minutes.” I looked over at the driver who had just spoken to me, and my nervousness went on overdrive.

  My other reason for cooking up this pumpkin patch façade was my way of trying to feel out Julia’s mood. I was en route to her program for the visit with the Twins and feeling like I should’ve given her a heads-up. Not that I even knew what to give her a heads-up about.

  I looked at my vibrating phone and saw that everyone, except Julia, had responded to my text.

  José: Look at you planning and organizing fall-themed outings! I’m down, I have a new burnt-orange sweater I’ve been wanting to feature.

  Tariq’s message came like three seconds after José’s (not surprising).

  Tariq: Do we have to eat the pumpkins? Why are people getting their drink on around a bunch of them tho? Texans are wild.

  I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

  Salome: I have all the same questions Tariq has, but you people are my only friends and I have nothing going on. At least I will have an excuse to wear my orange Gatorade Js.

  Dani just sent a thumbs-up emoji. Still nothing from Julia.

  I should’ve given her another minute, but since my desperation was in overdrive these days I broke down after thirty seconds, and asked her directly. Even though I knew this was a sure way to earn some serious ridicule from Tariq and Dani.

  Rocco: No love for the pumpkin patch from you, Julia?

  After a few seconds the circle with her face on it started bobbing as she wrote a response, while my heart pounded like I was waiting for a life-or-death answer.

  Julia: @ Rocco... A. If I see you and I don’t tweet, that means I don’t fux with you. B. I’m working, people. Rocco, you know I’m pressed today. Don’t you motherfuckers have jobs?!

  I felt a little guilty that I was bothering her when I knew she had to be running around, but I couldn’t keep in the laugh that burst out of me. Before I even had a chance to respond, a barrage of GIFs featuring people doing a range of things from laughing hysterically to passing out appeared on the conversation thread.

  Finally Salome interjected.

  Salome: Damn Julia, you savage. Can you pick me up tho?

  Julia responded with an angry-faced emoji and a thumbs-up, which had me grinning to myself like a total fool. Before I could think about it too much, I texted her again.

  Rocco: I’ll buy you a glass of rosé, Julia.

  Julia: That’s the least you could do. Now leave me alone. I’m stressed out!

  I closed the chat and looked up to see that we were getting close to our destination, and the urge to see Julia got more intense every few yards.

  “Here we are.” The driver of the car service Sturm’s ordered for me gestured at the main entrance of the center.

  “Thanks, man.” I hustled out of the car and took a moment to look at the sign. It was done in the same cursive font that Sturm’s used in their logo, but this one read Sturm Youth Center. The front of the building was landscaped with stones and grass. The first time I’d been here, I was so nervous about meeting Julia I hadn’t taken the time to absorb the little details. It looked like a place where they cared about the people who went into it.

  As I walked through the brick hallway, I noticed it was lined with posters and what looked like art created by students. I wondered if the collages were the ones the students had been making on my last visit. They all had facts about historical figures from all ethnicities, and I’d stopped to read one about Maria Tallchief when I heard someone calling my name.

  I turned around to see Mitzy, Muffy, and Phil standing by the door to one of the classrooms. They had another two women with them. Once was Gail, as always in one of her bespoke suits, and she was smiling at something that Muffy was telling her as Mitzy waved me over. The other woman had salt-and-pepper hair and was dressed in some kind of tunic that looked Central American. She didn’t look very happy as she said something to Phil, who seemed to be doing his best to ignore her. As I got closer, I could hear voices of young people talking excitedly.

  “Hey, I thought Mr. Sturm would be here too.”

  The twins just made
a face, and when Muffy spoke, she sounded pissed. “He isn’t. After making us all rearrange our week and having the program get all kinds of consent forms from parents, and a bunch of other bullshit, he decided he didn’t want to come.”

  Gail coughed like she was going to choke on something, while Phil shot a very disapproving look in the twins’ direction. I just smiled and nodded because I wasn’t even sure why I was here.

  Gail extended her hand to me and smiled wide. “Thanks for visiting us again, Mr. Quinn.” She signaled to the other lady. “This is Vicki Morris the clinical director. She oversees the therapists that provide mental health counseling services for the students.” Vicki barely acknowledged me and kept looking inside the room with her lips drawn in a thin line. Whatever was going on in there, Vicki was not a fan. This had to be the shitty coworker Julia had been venting about the other day.

  I smiled at both of them. “It’s nice to be back. I had a nice time when I was here.”

  “Today we have our Leadership Academy, being led by Julia Ortiz, who oversees our after-school program among other things.” Gail said that for the others’ benefit as my heart raced. I stopped to look at her as the others walked through the door. I took a moment to take stock of what I was feeling, a trick my therapist had shown me when I first started working with her. She’d said when I was feeling something intense, to think about what caused it and what happened to my body. Usually the feelings she was referring to were anxiety, or stress, sometimes even anger—but this was different.

  My body was taut with awareness. My eyes tracked her movements as she glided across the room smiling at the teens and their parents. I knew the Leadership Academy was one of the programs they offered for the kids. They worked with the students and their families to promote civic engagement, develop leadership skills, and help them get college ready. But I couldn’t really envision what that meant when she told me about it. I didn’t know how she managed it, but she looked in charge and approachable at the same time. She seemed to be one hundred percent focused on each family that she stopped to talk to, and they soaked up her attention like plants in the sun.

  Gail gestured to where she was standing with a teenage boy with purple-tipped hair and a short woman who was beaming as Julia talked to her son. “Let’s go say hi.”

  Gail’s voice must’ve caught Julia’s attention, because she looked up and we locked eyes for a second. I saw a little bit of reluctance there, but there was warmth too, and her lips—which were a deep cherry red today—tipped up when I lifted my hand to her.

  She was dressed in a knee-length gray skirt that hugged all her curves and a white button-down shirt that was also tailored exactly right. Her hair was up, and she’d done it so that her curls were spilling on top of her head. It seemed a little more formal than you’d necessarily need to be for a day of working with students and their families, but she’d dressed to impress. Mission accomplished.

  She came to a stop a few feet from Gail, me, and the rest of the group. She greeted the twins and Phil with a shake, then extended her hand to me. “Mr. Quinn.”

  I dipped my head as I held her palm in mine, my head full with memories of kissing her.

  “Fancy seeing you here.” Her voice was light, but there was just a tiny bit of tension there. I wanted to tell her not to worry, that everything would be fine. But I couldn’t say that. Not with Phil looking like he was chomping at the bit to say something shitty.

  “I’m looking forward to seeing you do your thing.” She smiled at me, but it was not the smile I got to see when the Exiles were around. She was nervous.

  “How much personnel do you have in this place? How many people do you need to run a program for teens?”

  Phil’s booming voice made Julia jump. And if I didn’t already know I was in over my head with this woman, the almost overwhelming urge to pop Phil on the mouth would’ve been evidence enough.

  Julia recovered quickly though. She whispered something to the mom and kid, who looked spooked, and smiled at Phil like he hadn’t just been rude as hell. “We serve around two hundred kids a day with a staff of about twelve, so we’re pretty lean. We try to strike a balance in providing excellent care for our families and using most of our resources toward programming itself. We do a cost-benefit analysis for all our operations. I’d be happy to go over those with you, sir.”

  Phil grunted like a jerk, his face red, probably from having a woman look him in the eye while she reamed him out. Then he walked away without even responding. Julia kept the polite smile fixed on her face, but her eyes told me the exchange had thrown her off.

  Once again, the urge to do something about it, to fix things for her, was almost overwhelming. But me interceding or making too much of a thing about the program would only make Phil suspicious or angry. Neither Julia nor I could afford to have the man set his sights on us more than necessary. I was not the hero in Julia’s story. The sooner I let that sink in the better it would be for both of us.

  I thanked Gail again and went to sit with the twins, as Julia made her way to the front. She quickly got the room to quiet down and got started.

  “Buenos dias, familias.” The entire room answered in an enthusiastic “Bueno dias, Señorita Julia.”

  “Today we have some visitors who are here to see you guys do your thing. Are we going to show them how amazing our families are?”

  There was a resounding yes, and then some laughter. Soon after that she launched into a presentation that was interactive and fun. The parents and the kids participated, coming up to help her and demonstrate the skills they’d been learning from the program on how to manage stress and communicate better.

  Julia had complete control of the room the entire time and seemed to be aware of each and every one of the strengths and challenges of each family. They asked questions openly and seemed completely focused on their tasks. The hour flew and by the end even Phil looked invested in all the work the families and the kids were getting done.

  As things were slowing down, Julia thanked the parents for taking time off their jobs to come and work with their kids and encouraged them to keep it going at home. The families walked out together looking happy and relaxed. I noticed almost everyone came up to Julia to thank her as they walked out.

  We made our way out without stopping to talk to her again. It was Thanksgiving the next day and I almost stopped to ask her if the offer to hang out from the day at the game was still standing. But just as I was considering it, Phil bumped my shoulder with a pointed look and I remembered where I needed to keep my focus on.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Julia

  I was getting the stuff from the academy packed away in record time. If I could get out of the building within the next five minutes I might be able to avoid running into Vicki, who was probably still trying to figure out how to convince Gail she did her job. She’d shown up only five minutes before our guests did and had no clue how to answer any of the questions Phil or the Twins had asked.

  I heard Gail before I saw her. “Thank you for today, Julia.”

  I turned around with the plastic bin full of the materials we used and smiled at her. “You don’t have to thank me. It’s my job.”

  Gail shook her head and came closer. “You did a lot more than your job description calls for today. It was very clear to me and to our visitors.” No, that was not electricity going up and down my spine at the thought of one visitor in particular, aka Rocco Fucking Quinn. I tried to figure out how to respond to Gail’s comment without throwing Vicki under the bus. I settled on redirecting the conversation.

  “I hope they were happy and feel motivated to continue funding us.”

  “They were very impressed by you and the work you’re doing with the families.” She pointed at the vision boards that the families had done together. We’d had them put together images of the futures they saw for themselves, and they were hopeful and b
right, even under the seemingly never-ending challenges immigrant families endured these days.

  “The Sturms took photos of them to show the board. The consultant also shared how impressed he was by what he’s seen so far.” She shrugged and looked around as if to make sure we were alone. “Let’s hope their enthusiasm is enough, because Phil seems set on having an issue with this program.”

  “I hope so too. But if they need more convincing, we’ll just have to get creative.” I was not into doing show-and-tell with our families, but also wasn’t going to let that asshole Phil take us down without fighting for my program.

  That brought out the first real smile from Gail I’d seen in days. “You’re right. This matters too much to let us get bowled over by a dude named Phil.” With that, Gail, in her three-inch heels and perfect makeup, grabbed the remaining container and turned her head toward the door. “Here, let’s get this stuff packed away so that you can go home.”

  I laughed trailing after her. “That’s it, boss. We got this.” I sounded a lot more confident than I felt, but if there was a time to fake it ’til you made it, it was now. And giving Gail an extra pep in her step couldn’t hurt.

  “It’s Thanksgiving tomorrow!” she exclaimed as if only now realizing it. “Are you doing anything fun?”

  We were walking down the hallway to my office as we talked. “I’m taking it easy this weekend. Since I’m going home next month for Christmas. I decided to stay here and just take it easy.” My traitorous brain immediately brought up the image of Rocco sitting at home by himself too.

  Nope. Not allowed. No fucking way.

  “Take your ‘me’ time when you can get it,” Gail said as she set the container she’d carried back on the floor of my office and waved a quick goodbye. I rushed to get everything in order before I got stopped by someone else.

  On my way out to the parking lot, I saw a text from Rocco congratulating me on a great presentation and wishing me a relaxing weekend. He didn’t mention hanging out over the weekend and I wondered if that was part of the reason why he ran out of the visit without even saying goodbye.