Daring to Start Again: An Inspirational Historical Romance Book

by Grace Clemens

  “I didn’t mean to give it away,” she said, trying to keep her voice as steady as she could, reminding herself that Bobby was nothing like her father and brothers.

  Bobby shook his head, chuckling. “Don’t be silly. Did you see the look on her face? That was better than us just telling her outright!”

  Sarah felt her tension easing away. She blinked at him, smiling softly. “Yes, it was something, wasn’t it?”

  “You talked to Pa for me?” Sammy asked, turning her big blue eyes to Sarah.

  “I sure did,” Sarah replied. “But it was all your papa’s decision to let you go. He’s the one who deserves all the praise for this!”

  Bobby tilted his head to the side. “Well, thank you, Sarah. Of course, I never would have known if you hadn’t said something to begin with.” He turned to give his daughter a loving grin. “You need to tell me when you want something I’m not providing, all right? I can’t read your mind. I want you to be happy, so if what you want is something I can give you, I’ll do it. But you have to remember that Papa can’t do everything. I’m not God. If you want something big, you have to pray to God and see what He says.”

  “But what if He says no?” Sammy asked, blinking innocently at her father. Sarah watched how he had Sammy’s complete attention. The way they were looking at each other made the love between them obvious to anyone who observed it.

  Sarah looked at Bobby, wondering how he would answer a question like that. He leaned forward in his chair just as Cookie came from the kitchen with a large tray in her hands. Bobby’s eyes remained on his daughter.

  “You have to trust that He knows what He’s doing. When He says no, it’s not to hurt you. It’s always for a good reason. Just remember that. God has only good intentions for you. Whatever happens to you that hurts you is because there is evil in this world and if God made that evil stop, He’d be taking away free will. That’s something God will never do. He gave it to us and now we have it, whether we like it or not. That makes us targets for bad people. Do you understand?”

  Somehow, when Sammy nodded her head, Sarah believed the five-year-old really did comprehend what her father had just told her. Sarah herself hadn’t been exposed to much in the Christian world, but she knew what she had in her heart and Bobby’s words spoke to her.

  She wasn’t a sinner because of her father and brothers. She would only be judged by her own actions. She firmly believed that.

  A half-hour later, she and Sammy were heading toward the school, Sandy right by the little girl’s side, trotting along like he knew where he was going. Sarah figured the dog probably didn’t care where he was going as long as he was there to protect his little mistress.

  Sammy pointed out each and every flower and plant, asking Sarah what they were. On a few occasions, Sammy was the one educating Sarah, which she didn’t mind at all. It was fascinating hearing information like that coming from such a young girl.

  Sammy didn’t wait until they got to the schoolhouse to say her goodbyes. In fact, she barely said goodbye. Once they could see the building, Sammy spun around and waved at Sarah, running backwards for a short spell and then spinning around again and dashing toward the schoolhouse.

  “Bye, bye, bye, bye!” she yelled over her shoulder.

  Sarah couldn’t help laughing. She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, “Have a good day, dear. I’ll be here to pick you up this afternoon.”

  She watched until Sammy was in the building before she turned to walk back. To her surprise, the dog was just sitting next to her, waiting to go home. When she moved, he got to his feet and stared at her, panting as if waiting for directions.

  “You ready to walk me home, Sandy?” she asked. “I’m ready to go. Let’s go.” She waved her hand to him and patted his head when he came up next to her. “It’s a fine day for a nice walk through the country. Look how beautiful it is.”

  Despite her willingness to walk, she was grateful when she heard hoofbeats coming up behind her and turned her head to see Clara coming her way in a buggy.

  Clara lifted one hand, her smile stretched across her face. “Sarah! How lovely to see you! Come on in here. I’ll give you two a ride.”

  Sarah was grateful and told her friend so as she got in the buggy, giving Sandy a boost so he could get in the back seat. Clara got the buggy moving, slapping the reins gently.

  “So, how are you adjusting? Have you been learning from Cookie?”

  Sarah blushed and grinned, nodding. “I learn something new every day. I can make coffee now! Oh, you know that.” Sarah laughed. “You were the one who taught me that! But I can make a wonderful beef stew, too. I know just what spices to put in it, how long to let it cook…” Sarah gave her friend a proud grin. “I’m learning. I can do anything I set my mind to.”

  Clara nodded vehemently, a satisfied look on her face. “Good for you, Sarah. That’s great to hear! And what about Bobby? How are you finding him as a husband?”

  Sarah blushed harder, wondering if Clara realized she and Bobby had not consummated the marriage just yet, as they were still getting to know one another.

  “I think coming here is the best decision I ever made,” she said softly. “I am happier here. So much happier. I really can’t say how much.”

  Clara grinned. “I’m so glad to hear that! So Bobby is doing a good job as a gentleman. I’m pleased, I expected that much. He has been so much happier since you came.”

  “Did you know his first wife?” The question was out before Sarah could pull it back. Should she be asking questions like that?

  Clara looked out in front of her, nodding. “I did. She was my best friend. I met Steven through Bobby. I’m from Boston, which, you might know or not, is where Bobby is from. Our fathers were friends. Bobby introduced me to Steven and the rest is history.”

  Sarah was intrigued, listening to Clara’s every word.

  “Becky was a good girl, not the smartest, but kind, and she and Bobby were suited well, considering it was an arranged marriage. But they didn’t make each other happy at all. I thought when Sammy came along, Becky would feel better… be happier. She wasn’t suited to ranch life. Bobby always felt guilty, even though he shouldn’t have. It certainly wasn’t his fault. He’s different now.”

  Clara gave her an intense look. “It’s because of you. I want you to know that. You make him happy. I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Chapter 10

  Steven dropped down into the grass under one of the largest shade trees on the property, taking a piece of jerky from his lunch sack and ripping off a big bite. He gazed out over the land as he chewed. Bobby was about to do the same thing. They’d been working hard on the ranch all morning and it was time for a break. The sun would soon be directly overhead, and that meant it was time to sit down.

  “So, you gotta tell me,” Steven said after swallowing. “How’s it been since Cookie came back? You all eating the way you should?”

  Bobby felt his cheeks heat up. He’d told Steven about the burned food. At the time, they hadn’t laughed about it, because Bobby was concerned she would prove to be almost useless as more than a pretty face. That was the last thing he needed. That was Becky. He didn’t want another Becky.

  He nodded. “Yeah, we are. But I’ll tell you, buddy, she’s been learning from Cookie and she’s the best seamstress I’ve ever seen. No tailor or seamstress in town is better than her, I guarantee that. One week and my Sammy now has two new dresses. That’s pretty amazing.”

  Steven raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, I don’t think Clara could do that.”

  “She’s great at handling Sammy, too. I guess the only thing that troubles me is how little I really know about her past. Even in her letters, she never said anything in depth about it.”

  Steven gave him a curious look. “Didn’t you say she was raised in an orphanage?”

  Bobby nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Well, she must not have had a good time there. I wouldn’t want to talk about bad memories, eith
er.”

  Bobby thought about that for a moment. “But I need her to open up to me. I’ve told her the truth about Becky. I already told her she will be the first real love of my life.”

  Steven widened his eyes. “That’s a big step, Bobby. What did she say to that?”

  “She said I would be hers, too.”

  “What do you think she might be hiding?”

  Bobby was quiet. He couldn’t imagine what she was hiding that would make her so quiet about her past. Had she been so severely abused she simply couldn’t talk about it? His heart was saddened at the mere thought of it.

  “I don’t know. I like her. I really am attracted to her. I hope this works out, not just because I get lonely sometimes, but… well, Sarah seems devoted to becoming a wife and mother. I see her trying hard all the time. It warms my heart.”

  Steven looked pleased. “I’m glad to hear that, friend. I’d hate to hear anything else.”

  Bobby lifted one half of his lips in a sheepish side grin. It meant a lot to him that his foreman was such a loyal and trustworthy friend, a man who really cared about his well-being.

  “There’s still a lot we need to know about each other. But I think we’ll get there. She’ll open up to me eventually. We have a connection. I can feel it.”

  Steven lifted both eyebrows. “First time I ever heard you talk like that, Bobby. Good to hear.” He nodded approvingly.

  Bobby thought about Sarah while he opened his sack and took out his lunch. Cookie always did him good and he always felt refreshed after eating one of her prepared lunches. She was a resourceful woman and he was never dissatisfied with what she provided.

  He took a bite of his ham and cheese on rye bread and followed it up with a swallow of sweetened tea from a jar. He thought about Sammy, on her first day of school, so ready and willing to go that morning. He was happy with the way it had turned out, Sarah telling Sammy without even realizing it. He could tell she’d felt bad, at first, thinking she’d done something wrong.

  In the past few weeks of her living with him and Sammy, he had noticed something odd about Sarah. He pondered for a moment, wondering whether he wanted to discuss such a private matter with Steven before he realized he couldn’t get better advice from anyone else he knew.

  “Got a question for ya,” he said under his breath.

  “Pardon me?” Steven asked.

  “I said, I have a question for ya. If ya don’t mind.”

  Steven shook his head. “If I got an answer, I’ll tell ya. My ears are open.”

  “Sometimes… she… When she was burning the food, and sometimes, when she thinks she’s done something wrong, she looks at me like…” He shook his head. “I don’t know. Like she thinks I’m going to hurt her. I don’t know what kind of orphanage she was in, but they must have been mighty cruel for her to react that way.”

  Steven nodded. “That’s probably true. But what’s the question?”

  “Do you think she’s afraid of me?” He asked the question with trepidation. He didn’t want Sarah to think he was a cruel man.

  Steven was quiet for a moment, chewing the rest of his jerky. “I don’t think she’s afraid of you,” he answered, quietly. “I think she’s afraid of new things. She’s still getting used to all this. I know you’re being patient, and that’s commendable. Just keep being patient. She’ll come around.”

  “You really think so?” Bobby wasn’t used to doubting himself. If he was coming off as intimidating to Sarah, he would feel awful.

  “Of course,” Steven replied, his voice sounding distant. “Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t. Hey, look at that.”

  Bobby looked in the direction Steven pointed, off into the distance to the west. The sky had suddenly turned dark. Thick, heavy clouds rolled toward them like waves on the ocean.

  “Looks like some bad weather coming,” Bobby said, getting to his feet. “Let’s call it a day. Get the men back in. That’s gonna be a bad storm, unless it dissipates before it gets here. Have the men round up the horses and get them in the corral.”

  Steven pushed himself up. “Yes, boss.”

  ***

  Dinner smelled so good, Bobby felt like he hadn’t eaten for days. He said a quick prayer of thanks as he stepped through the front door, taking off his hat and vest and hanging them on the rack before turning to the dining room. He was about to go in when Cookie appeared outside the door of the kitchen, which was down the hall the length of one room. Her upper half leaned out from the opening and she was looking directly at him.

  He froze and the suddenness of her appearance startled him and made him laugh.

  “Now, you’d better remember to wash those hands. You can’t eat if you don’t. You come on in here to the kitchen and wash them in the sink.

  Bobby nodded. Without saying a word, he went to the kitchen door, passed through in front of her and proceeded to do as he was told. He dried his hands on a towel, grinning at her.

  “I don’t need to be mothered, you know.”

  Cookie grinned at him, her plump cheeks apple red. “Nonsense. Every young man needs to be mothered. That’s often why men are unhappy in their marriages, they won’t accept that side of their wife.”

  Bobby tilted his head to the side. “Are you giving me marital advice, Cookie?”

  “You’re darn tootin’ I am,” Cookie replied, nodding vehemently. “Now, you go on in there and show those ladies how much they mean to you.”

  Bobby laughed softly as he went through the door that joined the kitchen to the dining room so it would be easier to transport food from one room to the other. He pushed through, throwing over his shoulder, “It smells wonderful. I can’t wait to eat.”

  “We’re all gonna need to be well-fed with weather like this.”

  Bobby thought about his cook’s words as he crossed the room to the table, where Sam and Sarah were already seated. The rain was beating on the ground outside with tremendous violence. One look through the window and it was easy to see the wind was blasting through the trees, bending them to one side, leaves shuddering and fluttering through the air as they broke free.

  There was a good chance they would have a tornado. He hoped not. But it was a possibility he couldn’t ignore. He wondered what Sarah knew about tornados and if she’d ever been through any kind of weather event.

  He slid into his seat and smiled at the women as he spread a napkin on his lap. “Good evening, ladies,” he said. He turned his eyes to his daughter. “Did you wash your hands?”

  Sammy gave him a charming grin. “Of course, Papa. I always wash my hands before I eat.”

  Bobby nodded, washed over with affection for the girl. He moved his gaze to Sarah, taking in her beauty with satisfaction. “And did you have a good day?”

  He loved her smile. “I did,” she said. “Thank you. How was yours?”

  Cookie pushed open the door and carried her tray into the room. While the family talked, she doled out food on their plates.

  “It was good, for being a half day. I spent most of the afternoon getting the animals safe from this weather.”

  Sarah’s eyes flicked to the window, where a steady pattering of rain hitting the glass couldn’t be ignored. He could see she was nervous and heard it in her voice when she spoke.

  “I… I’m used to rain. We have thunderstorms back where I’m from, of course. But these winds… they’re so strong.”

  Bobby heard the breathless way she spoke. He assumed she hadn’t been through a natural disaster like a tornado. He set one hand on the table between them purposefully, getting her attention. When their eyes locked, he said, “You don’t need to worry. You haven’t been through a tornado or a flood or anything?”