Neither Light Nor Dark: Destiny Awaits (Beyond the Gates Book 1)

by Lynn McCain

  I’m not sure how much time had passed, but suddenly I was woken from a deep sleep. I was dreaming or maybe just seeing with my eyes closed. Before me I saw a large alter. A girl lay on top of it ever so peacefully. As I observed her closer, I realized she lie in a puddle of her own blood. Many stood around her, blank faces in a crowd. Then I saw him, a faceless man at her side. In his hand was a dagger, a dagger dripping with her blood. I screamed yet was unheard, like a ghost I stood watching. The girl was me. Immediately, I was awake. Who had killed me? I wondered.

  I heard a tapping on the window to my room. It had to have been years since it had been opened, for when I tried, it would not budge. But after much prodding, it finally flung open, knocking me to the ground. Without hesitation, Tizipporah flew in quickly yet quietly. She was a welcomed sight, despite the fact I was unsure if she wanted to kill me. Her arms opened and wrapped themselves around me.

  “Are you all right?” she whispered.

  At first I hesitated, but I knew I could trust her. I just did. I began to tell her about Mother, about meeting Reficul, the helpless old man. Her face turned cold. Grabbing me by the arms, she fixed her eyes upon mine.

  “Don’t trust them!” she begged. “Reficul can change his appearance at will. He can be whomever he wants, an old man, a woman, a serpent, it doesn’t matter. They are all evil, and they are all him.”

  I mentioned the dream I had just had. Her lips turned toward her eyes, but I did not understand.

  “Your love is not clear, your heart loves, but its love is shared,” she offered.

  My eyes searched for understanding until she finished.

  “The sacrifice, it must be done by a heart that has loved and been loved by the one on the altar. You are unsure of whom you love; therefore, you cannot see his face.”

  Unsure of whom I love? I thought. It had to be Calev because Henry was evil. Our love was a lie. You can imagine my grief. Not only for me, but I could feel the weight of what I assumed Calev would soon have to bear, for it had to be him. Henry had never truly loved me, and I now despised him. At least I thought I did.

  Motioning for me to follow her to the window, Tizipporah pointed out beyond the walls at Arcadia. Fire partially consumed the Sectors. Smoke rising off the ashes could be seen under the moonlight twirling around as if dancing beneath the stars. The devastation was immense. The lawn beneath us was covered with bodies, most of which were Arcadians. Sadness invaded my thoughts. I was sad for Arcadia, for Calev, sad about Mother; I was sad I was dying.

  “You can still save us,” Tizipporah proclaimed. And with that, a new sense of emotion filled me, one of pride and duty. Much like I imagine a soldier would feel when dying for one’s country.

  “Have you found my father?” I asked.

  “Oh yes, your father, I almost forgot,” she whispered, placing her hand over her mouth.

  A smile stretched across her entire face. I knew the news was good and a giddy feeling raced throughout my body.

  “He’s alive! He’s in the lower cells. Man’cheh found him. The Leemiks have been searching all night. He is weak but overall appears well. I’m sorry to say there was no sign of Calev’s father though.”

  My hope was briefly restored. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. My father, he was alive! I prepared myself to leave immediately but was brought back in to reality when I saw the look on Tizipporah’s face.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “We must wait on the others; so many lives were lost tonight. We need an all-out army to come in and overtake the castle. I called off the battle when I saw your mother standing with Humphrey. I knew we were being lured in. We have to be wise. Your father, Calev, and Shim have to be rescued. If you leave with me now, they will kill them, and you will be trapped here forever.”

  I looked around. I felt I was already trapped.

  “We must beat them at their own game. It’s your turn to trick them, Lily. Make them believe you are on their side. When you know they trust you, we will be ready, just stay alive!”

  “You want me to stay here?” I yelled.

  I could not, I would not. What was I supposed to do? How would they trust me? How could I pretend to be evil? It was an insane proposal, yet it was the only one we had. Death itself was more appealing.

  “I promise I’ll be back, and I’ll have an army. This will work, you’ll see,” Tizipporah proclaimed.

  I know what you’re thinking, crazy right? How could it work? Well, apparently I’m quite the actor. It not only worked, it worked better than I could have ever imagined.

  Chapter 10

  The next morning Mother knocked on my door only once before letting herself in. I had laid in bed the remainder of the evening awake trying to process how I could get away with it. Still I had no idea, yet there I was face to face with the enemy.

  It’s a strange thing to refer to your own mother as the enemy. Still, stranger things have happened, I suppose. Mother lovingly brushed my hair back off of my face. She had a glass of goat’s milk and tea cookies brought in by the servants. I mustered up a smile the best I could. She bought it. I truly was starving. I devoured the entire plate and gulped the milk down in one drink.

  “Hungry?” she laughed.

  “Yes ma’am,” I replied, remembering my manners.

  Then, I wondered if evil people still used their manners. Henry sure was a good actor; he was always such a gentleman.

  Wasting no time, she asked, “Did you make a decision, Lily?”

  My heart was in my throat as I swallowed hard. I felt naked in a crowd, exposed. She would be able to tell; I just knew it. Then out came the words, the exact ones I needed.

  “I will follow Reficul, if it means I get to be with you, Mother.”

  The entire time I crossed my fingers behind my back. Silly I know, but I was still just a girl. Her face lit up. It was so hard to remember she was evil. She still looked like Mother. She still talked like Mother. She still smelt like Mother, like lavender and mint. What kept me alert was the color of her eyes. They flashed a crimson shade with each change in emotion.

  Patting my leg, she leaned in and gave me a warm hug. The eyes, the eyes, I reminded myself.

  “You will be very happy here, dear. What would you like? Just ask anything you want. Reficul loves to appease us,” she said.

  I wanted to scream out Calev’s name, give me Calev! Instead, I smiled and shook my head. Shrugging her shoulders, she assured me that would change once I realized that she truly meant anything I wanted.

  About that time Henry leaned his head around the corner of the door frame. Mother turned toward the sound. No words were exchanged. Henry simply raised one eyebrow and Mother nodded. His lips widened revealing his dashing smile as he stared at me; his eyes as sultry as ever. No wonder I had fallen for him. He was absolutely beautiful. As the thought passed through me I trembled. I had to focus. These people wanted to kill me, they were liars, and they were evil.

  I was unskilled in the act of seduction yet tried to regard him with as much desire as I could, despite the fact that I wanted to strangle him for lying to me. Luckily our eyes only lingered for a few moments upon each other before we were interrupted. It was Levona, beautiful, lovely, Levona. The very thought of her made me nauseous.

  Mother stood to her feet and welcomed them both in my room.

  “Lily, I’d like you to meet your sister,” she casually announced.

  The room began to swim around me. I looked to Mother and then to Levona and back to Mother again. What did she mean, sister? I tried to figure out how that was even possible, as my vision spun out of focus.

  She continued, “She belongs to your father, the daughter of a prince and a slave girl. He abandoned her mother and her long ago. Reficul took her in as a favor to me. I always wanted you to meet your only sibling.”

  She was of course lying, not about her being my sister but about her asking Reficul to care for her.

  I was a much better actor than I thou
ght. Holding everything back, I stood to my feet and slowly walked toward her, each step more labored than the last. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me.

  “Sister,” I proclaimed in her ear.

  My hands were so close to her neck, the thought of strangling her could not be avoided. She stood motionless as my embrace tightened around her. Henry came up behind and wrapped his arms around both of us. His lips brushed against my ear sending chills down my body as the warmth of his breath settled upon me. I endured, until he released his grasp.

  Mother stood smiling at the door. She really was gullible. Was she buying this?

  “Do you mind if I dress for the day?” I asked. Mother pointed toward the west side of the suite, as she glared at Henry.

  “Henry will show you to your closet,” she insisted.

  Grabbing me by the arm, he led me to a small hallway and opened the door in front of me. The room was full of clothes, shoes, and jewelry. All of it was entirely too fancy for me. Not a casual outfit in the whole room. Gown after gown adorned the walls.

  Henry spoke, “Reficul likes for the ladies of the house to look like ladies.”

  More like harlots, I thought. Walking over to the sofa in the center of the room, he pointed out the gown that had already been laid out for me, not only a gown but pointy high heels and pearl earrings. A slit went all the way to the top of the leg and to be honest, there was not much fabric for the top either. It sparkled underneath the light. Emerald in color, it had a pearl broach encircled in diamonds just at the center of the waist. Mother insisted Henry help me dress. Reluctantly, I let my old dress slip off my shoulders and watched it fall to the ground in a puddle at my feet. Turning my back toward Henry, I gritted my teeth and let him slide the emerald dress over my hips. To my surprise, he too seemed to be uncomfortable and turned his eyes away from my exposed body.

  His hands were as cold as ice as they found their way around my waist adjusting the broach. A mirror sat directly in front of us, so I had to make sure my face did not show disgust throughout the entire process. I could only think of Calev and Shim. Here I was being pampered and essentially offered the world while they remained chained to a wall on the second story of this horror house.

  I gazed into the mirror. I really did look amazing. My fair skin gleamed against the emerald shade of the gown. Cautiously, Henry placed his lips against my neck, watching my expression for disapproval I’m sure. I smiled, inside it was a grimace. I knew what was coming next but was unsure if I could stomach it. He turned me around to face him and rested his perfect lips upon my forehead. Calev, Calev, Calev, I repeated in my mind. I was doing this to save him, to save Father and Shim. Slowly and sweetly his warm, soft lips found mine.

  “I have been aching to do that,” he said as he rubbed his finger across my chin.

  My knees betrayed me; my heart too, erupted with excitement. I can’t lie and say I didn’t slightly enjoy it. That is, until my mind flashed the thought of him chaining me to the back of the truck. Yes, as quickly as I drifted off into ecstasy, I was back seething at the thought of his lips upon me, and yet I just smiled and touched the side of his face with the back of my hand ever so softly.

  I had only worn high heels a handful of times in my entire life, so I was actually grateful to have Henry’s arm to hold on to as we approached Reficul. He stood facing the fire with his back to us yet appeared to have eyes upon us, for when we entered he welcomed us by name. I remembered Tizipporah’s words about his changing appearance. As he turned, I was stunned; he was a young man probably late forties. His suit was impeccable, obviously tailored perfectly to fit his frame, classic black with a white shirt and thin black tie. I could see so much of Henry in him. He was very distinguished and unmistakably handsome.

  Mr. Emsworth stood nearby with Mother right beside him. Levona sat at the window, never acknowledging our presence. Reaching out, Reficul took my hand from Henry’s, and pulled me close in to his chest. Music began playing out of nowhere and he danced me around the room. After a moment, he stopped and dipped me back almost to the floor, placing his lips along the base of my neck, which seemed to catch fire.

  “Emerald, I like it,” he declared, while pulling me back closer to his chest, only this time he did not dance.

  Leaning in even closer, his lips brushed the side of my face as he spoke.

  “You are mine you understand; anything less and you will not live to see another sun. Other than that, all I have is yours. I bid you to enjoy.”

  Stepping back, he handed me off to Henry.

  I agonized over his words.

  Henry embraced me. I wondered why he was being so kind. It’s not like he had to anymore. The mission was over; they had me where they wanted me. Just days earlier he was chaining me to a truck but now he held me in his embrace, unwilling to let me go. As we danced, I thought back to my birthday; the day he asked me to marry him. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but on the other hand it was as if no time had passed at all. Had I truly loved Henry? Yes, of course I had, but now I loathed him. At least that’s what I kept telling myself. It’s hard to explain the feeling I was having at that moment. I’m embarrassed to admit that part of me enjoyed being in his arms. What was wrong with me? He was evil. He had deceived me. He was a liar. Oh, but he was a good one. He almost had me believing that maybe he had truly loved me. Then I saw it, that glimmer of red in his eyes. Yes, yes, yes, I wanted to scream out, do that again; my own little warning in the eyes of those I once loved. I actually let out a laugh when I saw it. Henry thought I was so happy, confused yes, happy, no.

  I had to keep it up, this false illusion of loyalty to Reficul for days. Henry showered me with love and affection. Mother embraced the new me with open arms. She liked me being evil, I guess. What kind of mother would want that for her child? My contempt for her grew. It did get easier too, lying to them. They were so easily lied to, and their creepy eyes kept me on my toes. Reficul only came around at night and was rarely seen, but his presence was everywhere.

  Every night, once in my room, finally alone, I would stare out of the window looking for Tizipporah. The bodies still lay dead on the front lawn, and smoke continued to rise from the Sectors. I thought some must have been entirely burned down. Night after night, I waited, but she never came. Discouragement does not even begin to explain what I was feeling. Henry never let me out of his sight, so I was never alone. Even at night, a guard stood by my door, so I could not leave and search for Calev. I was trapped, totally and completely trapped.

  Late one night, I heard a knock at the door. I had been in bed for quite some time but was still awake. Cracking it just enough to see through the small slit in the opening, I peered into the darkness. It was only Levona, the guard mysteriously absent. Up until that night, we had not spoken since the day Mother introduced us as sisters. Even so, there she was standing at my door wanting to come in. Of course I let her, reluctantly, but I did let her in. She was trembling as if she were immensely afraid of being caught. At first, we sat silently staring into the fire.

  “I want to see my father, our father,” she corrected, practically causing me to jump out of my skin.

  Our father, the words exploded in my head. He was my father! I did not want to share anything with her, especially a father. She must have read the expression on my face, for she lowered hers to the ground. My first thought was that she was tricking me, but as I examined her, I knew she was broken; she was serious.

  She proceeded to tell me how my father had been captured.

  “Years before Elizabeth came to Arcadia, my mother, Shira, met our father,” there was that word again; “they fell deeply in love which resulted in my birth. My mother was from a lower class than Father, but he adored her. When I was three years old Reficul killed her right before my eyes and kidnapped me, raising me as his own. He believed that I was the one the prophecy spoke of, being from the boughs of the prince. He intended to train me to worship him, so the prophecy would never be fulfilled. I ne
ver saw Father again. Reficul became my family. He taught me to hate Father and when I turned five years old he showed me the newspaper clipping announcing the marriage of your mother and the prince of Arcadia.”

  Apparently, Mother showed up in Arcadia right after Father lost Shira. Grandfather took her in and Father decided to marry her, resulting in my birth. Only he never stopped loving Shira and missing Levona, his first child. Mother knew he could never love her the way he loved Shira, and she became enraged with jealously. It was her who came to Reficul with the plan to capture Father. She led him straight into Reficul’s hands and persuaded Grandfather to escape with all of us to Eden, promising Reficul she would return when I was of age, so he could have me.

  After Levona finished, I sat staring at her. My mind went blank trying to process all that information.

  “I know where they are keeping him. After your arrival, he was moved to the same floor as Calev, so they could be guarded more efficiently,” she whispered.

  Still, no words escaped me. Levona seemed as uneasy about trusting me as I was of her.

  “How did you meet Calev?” I questioned, finally letting the words out of my mouth.

  “Humphrey had been watching his meetings with your Grandfather,”

  I was glad she said, “Your” because I might have slapped her right on the spot if she had called my Grandfather hers.

  “He wanted me to, get close to him, you could say.”

  “He wanted you to make him fall in love with you,” I imposed.

  “He needed him to trust me,” she returned, lowering her head to the floor. “I never wanted to hurt him, but Humphrey; he can be, demanding.”

  I could tell her heart hurt as she spoke of Calev.

  “Why are you telling me all of this?” I asked.

  “I have been biding my time, just waiting for the opportunity to destroy them. I can see the animosity in your eyes each time they are near. Your face smiles, but your eyes can’t lie. You are playing them just like they played you. I’ve been doing it for years,” she answered.