Neither Light Nor Dark: Destiny Awaits (Beyond the Gates Book 1)

by Lynn McCain

  Aside from both of our apprehensions, that night we devised a plan, one that included me getting even closer to Henry, one so risky I thought we both might die. I remembered Reficul’s words, You are mine, anything less and you won’t live to see another sun. We were going to find Father and Calev, and we were going to rescue them. Excitement filled me. Hope had returned to comfort my soul. I knew that Calev and I both had to stay alive in order to save Arcadia, and I had found an unexpected ally in the sister I never knew I had, a girl I once hated, now my only asset in saving the world.

  After Levona left that night, I replayed our entire conversation in my mind. My mother had hated my father so much she not only had him captured but promised me, her only daughter, to Reficul. My stomach ached at the thought. How could she? How could any mother deceive her own child and give her to such an evil man? How could she take my father away from me? I had already accepted that Mother was evil, but this was too much. I began to cry so hard my eyes became swollen and cheeks red, by far the hardest news to take thus far. She had not been a victim of Reficul. It was her who pulled the strings.

  Half way through my breakdown, the window in my room flung open. It was Tizipporah. I ran and hugged her tightly, collapsing into her arms. Once I finally quit sobbing, I was able to tell her what had happened. She, of course, consoled me about Mother but was more interested in the part about Levona wanting to help.

  “You’ve done it, Lily!” she squealed, “They trust you.”

  I sat up and wiped my tear soaked face. I had, I had done it. They did trust me, even Levona. Mother, she was so dumb she actually bought everything I had told her, not to mention Henry. I had him eating out of my hand. As I reveled in my small success, it began to feel like I was coming back to life, breathing again.

  Tizipporah’s tiny wings sparkled under the moonlight. She told of an army gathering in what was left of the Sectors. All of the Assemblies had been overturned in every Sector, yet the Dark Winds had taken out over half of the Arcadians who had fought. She told of a great war that had taken place since I had last seen her. A war, I thought. My mind went straight to Maleke and the others. She assured me they were fine, beat up and bruised but still alive. Maleke had taken over as leader for Calev and would not stop until he had rescued his brother. They had a plan to ambush the castle in only a day’s time. I argued that Levona and I might not have enough time to get to Father, Shim, and Calev. Tizipporah agreed and we settled on a plan. She left to tell the others, and me, well, I actually went straight to sleep. The cry had worn me out, and I knew I had to sleep well for what lie ahead of me in the morning.

  That night I dreamt of the faceless man again, standing over me with a bloody dagger. Except this time, when I woke I was a little relieved. This would all be over soon. It’s strange, but I was almost anticipating my death. Being that my entire life had been one big lie, I was relieved to think that at least in my death, I might actually achieve something, life for others. I was born to die, unless you have been there, I don’t think you can really understand those words. Just a short time before that I could not have either. But finally, finally I got it. It was my destiny. It really seems unfair, one life for so many to live. How could the death of one cause so many others to have life? That was not for me to understand, only accept.

  The truth is through Grandfather’s words, Neither light nor dark, sun nor rain, could ever keep your destiny away, nor my love, my little, Lily flower, I had always been prepared for something great. Dying was not what I had in mind, but to die so others can live seems like a fair trade off, a noble attempt to come out better on the other side. No matter the cost, for death already awaited me, I would save Calev, and I would save Father. I just knew it.

  The next morning I woke early, before even the birds sang their beautiful first light song. The sun had hardly woken. Only small beams of light could be seen over the horizon. Smoke still filled the air around the castle. I smiled as I stared out the window, happy to have breath for one more day. A trip to the closet only resulted in another one of Reficul’s degrading gowns that made me feel naked and exposed. This one was red with the entire back missing, the fabric gathered just below the small of my back and a thin string tied around my neck. The shoes, ugh, the shoes, were made completely of diamonds with a ridiculously high heel. I could not wait until I never had to wear heels again. Let’s not forget the jewelry, a diamond necklace that hung down almost to my naval, single stone diamond earrings, and an antique cuff for my arm, not my wrist, my arm.

  Every morning after I dressed, I was made to stand in front of a camera that showed my image to Reficul. He had to agree with the clothes for the day. A few of the mornings I was told Reficul was not pleased with my choice and was made to change into another gown. He disgusted me, always wanting more skin.

  The red dress passed the test, and I was off to find Levona only to be caught by Henry, which was fine because he was the main part of our plan, a plan that included him taking me to see Father, in which I would steal the keys and return later with Levona. There I was, face to face with him. His hair was always combed perfectly to the side, not a strand out of place, yet as he stumbled out of the door, it lay messily all over his head. He quickly patted and pressed it until it was somewhat in place. He looked completely confused and surprised to see me out of my room so early. I yearned for his eyes to turn red because he was entirely too cute in his night clothes and messy hair, I could almost not bear it. His top lip only slightly smaller than the bottom, tightened, revealing the only part of him that has any imperfection, his teeth. Honestly, that is what made him so irresistible.

  His smile always used to get me, and it seemed on that morning it had me again. His eyes lit up, as I wrapped my arms around him. There was no effort on my part, no coercion. It was as natural as breathing, my arms felt at home around his chiseled frame. It was all part of the plan, or was it? Part of me wanted to hold him, believe he was good and never let go. I looked upon his face searching for the crimson warning to shake me back to reality, but only deep black eyes stared back at me, and I became lost in them, so lost that I did not even hear Levona approach.

  Ignoring her, Henry kissed me sweetly before excusing himself to get ready for the day. I stood giddy with my hand upon his door. Levona tapped me on the shoulder and told me to follow her. I turned and smiled, hoping she had thought nothing of our encounter, believing it was all part of the plan. Indeed she did. It seemed I could trick everyone except myself. I still loved Henry. No matter how hard I tried to hate him, no matter how bad I told myself he was, I still found my heart skip a beat when he was near. I wanted to scream.

  Levona and I sat and ate breakfast. There was no denying that Reficul employed the finest cooks. Every meal was marvelously prepared. Mother joined us briefly mentioning her delight at our getting along. Soon she was off, and Levona and I perfected our plan. I could not help but think about what had happened with Henry earlier. As Levona spoke, my mind wandered. Why did he have me so? Why did my heart still long for his touch?

  As we were still eating, Henry entered the room, his face toward the floor. It was as if he purposefully would not look in our direction, even taking his breakfast to the terrace. Levona motioned for me to follow him. I slowly walked to the door and peered around the edge. He sat facing the back lawn, never turning to look at me. I thought he must be angry, but could find no reason why. Hesitantly approaching, I sat in the chair beside him and gently placed my hand upon his shoulder. After a long pause, he turned his face toward me. His right eye was black and swollen. Pity crept up on me before I could stop it.

  “What happened?” I cried.

  He just gave me a half smile and turned around. I arose and moved to the chair directly across from him. I grabbed his hands and pulled them to my lips, kissing the tips of his fingers. This seemed to upset him even more. I slowly moved to his lap, placing his head upon my chest. I just wanted to hold him close to me, make him feel better. Not because I had to, not a
s part of the plan, but because I hated to see him hurt. As I sat, I placed my arms around his waist, causing him to wince. I could tell the bruises extended far beyond his face. He did not want to talk, and I did not press the issue. I just held him in my arms, running my fingers through his hair. Besides, I had a pretty good idea who had done this to him. I just didn’t know why.

  Holding him felt so natural, like our hearts beat to the same tune. Finally, he leaned up and looked at me. A tear had formed in his eye and slowly made its way down his bruised cheek, falling in a crash upon my hand. Just then Mr. Emsworth walked on to the terrace. Henry quickly wiped his face and rose to his feet, nearly knocking me to the ground. Mr. Emsworth’s eyes were a deep shade of red as they burned through Henry, who looked weak and afraid of his father. He raced off the terrace leaving me alone with Humphrey and his fiery eyes. He stayed only moments looking out over the lawn, but I felt so afraid it seemed to last forever. It had been he who had beat Henry, only I could not understand why.

  I waited until Mr. Emsworth was out of sight before I tried to reach out to Henry again. He had gone to his room and closed the door to us all. I knocked a few times with no answer. To my surprise, when I tried turning the knob, it opened. The room was dark, and Henry sat in a billowy chair in the corner. He held a book in his hand and his features danced under the flame that flickered above him. At this point, all I could do was think of him, of his broken body. He simply glanced in my direction and then back to his book. All this time Henry had chased after me, but now I pursued him. I shut and locked the door behind me, scared of the others yet for some reason felt safe knowing Henry was near. Reaching out his hand, he pulled me in to his lap. I leaned back against his chest, feeling the beating of his heart as he continued to read out loud from the book in his hand.

  “In the essence of happiness I yearn for a flower in a world too dark for it to grow and yet I am content.”

  Apparently, he had not lied about that part of his life, for even in Eden he loved to write poetry.

  Before I had the chance to speak, Henry revealed, “I’m so sorry, Lily. I’m sorry I deceived you. I knew from the moment I saw you leaning over that terrace this would not be easy. Your milky skin glowed beneath the sun, and your crystal eyes drew me in. They demanded I act normal, that I not mention what we did to you. I can bear the guilt no longer. I can’t keep pretending. This life that we live, Lily, it’s not for you. I am…. evil. I am like the ones your people fear. I have killed them, carried out the plans of my father. I never knew I could feel any other way. Then you entered my life, pure and innocent as you are. A fact I love about you. I do not deserve to hold you in my arms. I don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you. You must get out of here before you get hurt, I’m not sure if I can protect you.”

  “Henry,” I started.

  “Please let me finish,” he continued, “you have given me a gift, a thing I never knew existed. I have known love and, my heart breaks a little more each time you are near. I can’t keep pretending that I am ok with what I have done to you. I can’t stand to see you smile at me, as if I have done you no harm.”

  I was speechless. My heart pounded so hard I could feel it pulsate throughout my entire body. I felt weak. I believed him, every part of me believed him. I slowly leaned in to kiss him, and he shoved me backwards. As he stood to his feet, he walked toward the window.

  “You are not like them. I don’t believe it. They have lied to you just like my mother lied to me. You are not your father!” I screamed.

  But before I could say another word, Henry whispered something. He spoke so quietly I did not understand, so I moved closer to him and rubbed my hand across his shoulder. His head lowered and he said it again, except this time his eyes became engulfed in flames as he roared.

  “I killed him, I killed your grandfather! It was my hand that ended his life.”

  My heart stopped beating. The room darkened, and I could feel myself dying inside. I pulled my hand off of his shoulder and slowly backed toward the door, never taking my eyes off of him. He dropped to his knees and cried over and over again.

  “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Lily.”

  All I could do was picture Henry’s hands, the same ones that had so intimately held me, upon Grandfather while he gasped for his last breath. My mind raced with images, some I have never forgotten. I ran out of the door and barricaded myself in the room. I was hurt and angry, not only at Henry but at myself for being so vulnerable. I became sick at the thought of Henry’s hands upon me, his lips dripping with my saliva. I screamed into the pillow. Just when I had started to think I really loved Henry, that he might truly be good, he reveals that he killed the most important person to me in the world. Could my life get any more complicated?

  I could lie there no longer. I had to act, I had to do something, feel productive. Calev, I thought. Here I had been nurturing Henry, the killer, while Calev and Shim remained chained to the walls of this castle. I was in complete agony and weighted down by guilt. I had been sucked in to this evil place, tempted and confused, lured away by my own desires. I walked and walked around the castle, seemingly ignored, until I came upon a door that was cracked open just a bit. I approached quietly and looked in. Video screens adorned every wall, surveying the entire property, each of the prison cells, and the grounds outside as well. On one wall the screens revealed utter devastation. It was of all the Sectors. They were mostly burned to the ground, not a soul in sight. My eyes continued around the room and then I saw it, it was Calev and Shim. I could tell because Shim’s little arms hardly reached the shackles above him, and to his right sat a man, a man with a scruffy beard and tattered clothes. “Father,” I whispered.

  The sound of boots crashing against the ground startled me, and I ran to the next door and opened it, praying it was empty. It was indeed. I stood leaning against the wall, trying to be as quiet as possible. No one had heard me; to be honest, I didn’t even care. I had seen my father and nothing was going to stop me from getting to him. I had always imagined Father being wonderfully loving and supportive. I dreamed of his hugs and kisses. Before bed, I would pull out his picture and tell him about my day. All of my secrets belonged to him, at least to the man in the picture. Right in the middle of my reminiscing, a dreaded thought crept in, the one question left unanswered in my mind. Would he too let me down? Would my father turn out to be just like all the others in my life? I shuttered as it tried to grip me but shook it off.

  I made my way unnoticed back to the great room with the large fireplace. Levona sat on the sofa, gaze fixed on the flames capering about. Her eyes smiled with relief when she saw me. I continued on toward the kitchen without stopping, grabbed a cup of tea, and headed out to the terrace, hoping she would follow. Finally, she joined me. At first we sat silently staring out over the grounds, and then very quietly, with almost no sound at all, we began to speak; our eyes never meeting. After seeing all the surveillance screens, I knew we were being watched. So, as I told her what happened, I covered my lips from being seen.

  “I saw our father,” I began.

  It was strange but came out as naturally as revealing my name, our father.

  She continued to stare out over the grounds as if no words had been exchanged.

  After only a few more minutes of silence, she simply said, “Midnight,” and exited the terrace. I knew what she meant, it would happen tonight.

  My heart rejoiced as I sipped my piping, hot tea. Hope rose like the steam from my cup. I could not help but think of Henry and I just hours earlier, holding each other on the very same terrace, how afraid he was of his father. I knew Mr. Emsworth was to blame for Grandfather’s death. Yet Henry’s hands had carried out the awful task. I became enraged at myself that I still let his memory remain. How many times can someone hurt you before you finally give up? That was to be determined, for Henry still found a place in my mind.

  I spent the remainder of the day in my room. I watched the sun setting from the window. It reminded
me of the one in the library back at Grandfather’s. Even the walls surrounding the castle were reminders of those back in Eden; the ones I hated so. Only even those walls could not keep me from my destiny, these would be no different. The heavens painted a picture before me. Rich purples and majestic oranges, shades of pink not even found in Eden began to color the sky. The sun was so beautifully laid to rest among the fairytale backdrop. Birds found their home in the trees to nest. The sky became filled with them. It was then that I saw her, Tizipporah, perched on a limb just outside. Silently she remained, just watching from her place high above the grounds. I knew it was too light for her to enter, so she waited. I decided we were wasting time. She needed to warn the others, prepare them for midnight. I leaned over the ledge and whistled twelve times, hoping my secret code would be interpreted correctly, hoping she would understand. She waited to make sure I was done before she fluttered away into the sunset. She understood.

  I knew I should try and get some sleep, at least nap for a bit, so I would have the energy for the task ahead of me. As I lie in the bed, my mind would not rest. I drifted in and out of sleep, waking every time to Henry’s hands upon Grandfather, all except for the last nightmare. That time his hands were upon my neck, squeezing out all of the life within me. I woke sweating and pulling at the collar of my shirt. There was no going back to sleep after that. I checked the clock and it was eleven thirteen, time to be up anyway. At eleven fifty-one, Tizipporah was in my window. Levona soon followed. The three of us embraced. Tizipporah revealed that Maleke and his army surrounded the walls of the castle. They had come to help deliver me to the caves. Tizipporah left, promising to meet us at the room Father was being held in. It was nice knowing she could confuse the Dark Winds, so they would be unable to find us. That would, at least, increase our chance of success.