Becca

by Taylor, Jennie

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “We have to start planning on what happens next.”

  “Mom and Dad...”

  “Becca, you know there’s a good chance they aren’t coming. They would have been here by now.”

  “You don’t know that!”

  “No, I don’t. And they could show up in a few days and that would be great. I love your Mom and Dad almost like they were my own. I’m just saying... don’t get your hopes up. I can’t have you falling apart on us now. You’re the strong one here. I flake out every time I see a spider, I sure as heck can’t think of what to do if we’re being attacked by a bunch of rabid zombies, or whatever they are.”

  Zombies. They aren’t zombies. They die if you shoot them. They’re human. Stop calling them zombies. Just because they attack and bite people and seem blood thirsty doesn’t mean they’re zombies.

  “I’m weak.” I said. “It took me forever to admit that I’m gay.”

  “But you did. And you feel better, right?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “See, you are strong.”

  “Yeah.” I’m so strong I can’t tell her. Except I have to, eventually. “Tasha,” Why not now? “There’s something I need to tell you. The situation could be better,” I actually laughed. “But I just... have to say it.”

  “Okay.”

  “See, um,” I looked away from her. Why is it so hard to say things like this? “You don’t have to respond to this in any way, and don’t feel like you have to do or say anything. This isn’t about you, it’s about me, and I just need this out there. I know... how you feel already, I just need to say it out loud.”

  “Say it.” she said. “Whatever it is.”

  “I’m... in love with you.”

  She didn’t say anything. I told her she didn’t have to, but I actually expected her to at least tell me she was sorry, but she couldn’t think of me like that. Or tell me that I was being silly. I didn’t expect her to ignore me.

  “I’m sorry if that bothers you. I didn’t mean it to.”

  “It doesn’t, Becca. I just don’t know what to say to that.”

  “I’m sorry.” Great, start crying. Brilliant.

  “Don’t.” She hugged me. “I'm flattered. You know I love you, but...”

  “But you’re not gay.”

  “No. I mean I’m open minded and all, but I’m not sure I could think of any girl that way.”

  “I know. I just needed to say it.”

  “I’m sorry. Please don’t let this come between us, Becca. You’re my favorite person in the world. It would kill me if you were mad at me over this.”

  “Me mad? What... no, I just thought you’d be mad at me.”

  “No. Rebecca, I value your opinion more than anyone’s. If you think so highly of me... that just feels really good, okay. Don’t worry about it.”

  “So we’re good?”

  “Yeah, still best friends. Forever.”

  Wednesday, April 13th

  I made bacon and eggs for breakfast for everyone. It needed used anyway. This

  is just about the last of our food. We have a few cans of beans and some corn, but nothing that makes a healthy meal.

  “I want everyone to get ready to go when you’re done eating.” I told them. Natasha put her spoon down and swept her hair back behind her ears. “We’re getting low on food.”

  “We’re supposed to stay here until Mom and Dad get back.” Bridget said.

  “We need food.”

  “We can get by for a couple of days until they come.” she said.

  “No, we’re going.”

  “What if they show up while we’re gone?”

  “I don’t know” I told her. “We’ll leave a note.”

  “Well then why don’t you just go by yourself?”

  “You’re coming.”

  “No.” she said defiantly.

  “I vote we stay here.” David said.

  “Yeah, see.” Bridget said, her face twisted in anger. “Me too. I’m staying.”

  “This isn’t a democracy! You’re coming.”

  “You’re not my boss, Becca.”

  “Yes, I am. Dad said...”

  “Well when they show up I’m going to tell them how...”

  “They’re not coming!” I shouted at her. I slammed my spoon down next to the bowl and slid the chair out.

  They’re all staring at me. Amber and David look scared of me now. Bridget is crying and she is looking at me like I killed them. Tasha is giving me this look that says I handled this all wrong.

  “You don’t know that.” Bridget mumbled. “They could be here any day.”

  “Bridget, they would be here by now.”

  “You don’t know that!” She shouted at me. She actually threw her spoon at me.

  “Bridge,”

  “Shut up!”

  I blew this. Tasha looks so upset with me. What would you have me do, Tash?

  I went around the table and wrapped my arms around Bridget. She struggled against me at first, but I kept holding her. Eventually she let me hug her and we cried together.

  “I’m sorry, honey.” I said. “I really hope they get here soon, okay? But we have to continue doing the right things until they do. Dad made me responsible for you, and there is no way I’m leaving you here where you could get hurt or killed and I won’t be around to take care of you.”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “I just want to make sure you’re okay. We’re coming back here, we just need to make a run for some food and supplies.”

  “Do you really think they aren’t coming?”

  “I’m so sorry, honey. I just don’t think they are. I hope they do.”

  “Mom and Dad can’t be dead. I’d know it.”

  “They wouldn’t want us to just sit here and die while we wait for them. We have to take care of ourselves. I have to take care of you, okay? Just come with me to get some supplies and we’ll come back.”

  “I guess.”

  I went upstairs to gather some bags to carry food in, and to change into some better clothes for this mission. Can’t really wear sandals if you plan on doing a lot of running.

  “Can I help?” Amber asked. She was right behind me, and I jumped.

  “Oh! Don’t sneak up on me.”

  “Sorry. Need some help getting bags and stuff?”

  “Um, yeah, sure.” I said. I tossed her some of the bags.

  “I’m sorry about your mom and dad.”

  “Well, we don’t know anything yet.”

  “I’m pretty sure we do, though.” she told me.

  “We’re not the only ones losing our parents.”

  “I guess I knew my parents were dead a few days ago.” She shrugged. “Nothing I can do about it. David seems to think there’s still hope.”

  “Poor kid.” I said. I feel so bad for him. For all of us, really, but at least we know our parents were okay the last we saw them.

  “Must be a thing with the youngest children. See, we’re both oldest of two. We have that in common.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “So did you tell Natasha how you feel?”

  “Not that it’s your business, but yes.”

  “I’m sorry it didn’t go the way you wanted it to, Becca.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ll survive. At least she didn’t get mad or anything. We’re still friends.”

  “Good.” She said. She folded the bags over and squeezed them against herself. “For you and for me.” She smiled.

  “Amber, I’m sorry, but no.”

  “We’ll see. I can be patient.” She smiled again. The girl is persistent. “A year from now you’ll wonder what it was like before we met.”

  “You certainly are a confident girl, I’ll give you that.”

  “I’m just willing to go after what I want.”

  David wasn’t very happy when I made him give the second gun to Tasha. But I trust her more. He’s a good shot, but he’s twitchy.
He gets scared and waves the gun. He’s a kid. Tasha is more stable and less easily spooked. Of course I didn’t tell him that. I told him we needed his muscles to carry the food.

  We drove toward the nearest town, thirty miles away. There were wrecked cars everywhere. Like people were sick and trying to drive anyway, and they just didn’t get too far. There are some dead bodies. I saw someone walking off in the distance, at the back of one of the fields. They were sort of weaving, and they didn’t look good. I just hoped the others didn’t see them. There is no reason to scare them.

  “Okay, Tasha, pull up here.”

  “What, here?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You want us to walk?” Bridget asked.

  “That’s the idea.”

  “But isn’t that more dangerous?”

  “We drive the car into the center of town and it’ll be like yelling for them to come get us. This way we can go quietly and avoid everyone.”

  “Don’t forget the bags.” Tasha told them.

  “Everyone stay as quiet as possible. I’ll go first. I want Tasha last. Everyone keep their eyes open.”

  You could see people moving several blocks ahead. I cut back into an alley, hoping to avoid them. It was quiet. No dogs barking. Either no dogs in this neighborhood or they’re all dead. They wouldn’t have starved by now, would they? Poor doggies. I wonder if that disease spreads from human to animal. Please tell me the people didn’t bite the dogs.

  There was a sound and I spun toward it and raised the gun. There was a man-- or what used to be one-- banging against the wooden fence. The fence was only about four foot tall, but he couldn’t see us. His eyes had been gouged out. There was blood running down his face, still, and it looked so painful. He wasn’t screaming or moaning in pain, he was simply banging against the fence.

  I turned to everyone and held my finger up to my mouth, shushing them. We walked very slowly past the back of the house. At one point I looked back and saw Tasha shoving Amber along. Amber’s eyes were locked on the man banging against the fence. She looked about two seconds away from a full panic attach.

  We turned back to the main road and continued on. There was a small store just a block away. I pointed to make sure everyone knew where we were headed, and I continued on. I opened the door to the shop and looked around. Empty. It was a little trashed from other people raiding it, but there didn’t seem to be anyone inside.

  “Go in and check the back, Tasha. I’ll keep a watch out here.”

  “Got it.”

  She went inside. Before the others could even follow her in three people came hurrying toward us from behind a van. Amber screamed and turned to run, tripping and falling down instead. Bridget grabbed David and blocked his body with her own, protecting him. I froze.

  They were a family. The man was probably six foot tall, dressed in what was once a nice suit. The woman, who I think was his wife, was short and blonde and looked like she used to be bubbly. She was probably a cheerleader in high school. The youngest was just a kid, maybe eight. She had a light brown hair, cut exactly as Bridget’s was at that age. She was Bridget’s height and weight when she was that age, too. So much like Bridget.

  “Becca!” Amber screamed.

  I snapped out of my daze and pulled the gun up, quickly firing at the guy and striking him in the chest. He stumbled back and fell over. I shot the woman in the head and she dropped straight to the ground where she was. No stumbling, no falling over, just crumpled down on herself.

  The girl kept coming. I swung the gun onto her, but then it was like I was aiming at Bridget. I just killed her parents, how could I kill her? But... but she was actually getting close to Bridget and David. I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger.

  I dropped the gun and began to cry. And then I heard another gunshot. I looked toward the building and saw Tasha holding the gun out. I looked to where she was aiming and saw that the man had gotten back up.

  Everyone was staring all around, glancing repeatedly back to me. Tasha came over and put her arms around me.

  “It’s okay now.” she said.

  “She looked so much like Bridget.” I whispered.

  “I know. It’s okay.”

  “We should go.” Amber said. “There’ll be more. They must have heard the shots. We need to go.”

  “No!” I said. I bent over and picked up the gun. “Same plan. I’ll stand guard and you guys go get the food we need. Cans, mostly. Nothing that can go bad if not refrigerated.”

  “You sure you’re up to this?” Tasha asked.

  “I’m fine. Go check the back room to make sure nobody comes out and gets them.”

  There was sound down the road. Voices. I watched the road, hoping that we had found some others that could help us. Except it didn’t sound like they were too friendly.

  “We’re done.” Bridget said.

  “Shh.”

  “What?”

  “Um,” They were all staring at me, like I was supposed to be in charge here. Oh yeah, I am. “You’re all going back to the car. Tasha, you’re in charge.”

  “What about you?” Amber asked.

  “I have to go check something.” I pointed down the road. “I’ll be right behind you, okay.”

  “I’ll come with you.” she said.

  “No, you’re going back with Tasha.”

  “You shouldn’t be alone.”

  “I’ll be okay.”

  “Becca, you can’t do this.” Bridget whined. “Well you just can’t go, you’re supposed to take care of us.”

  “Tasha will take care of you.”

  “But Dad said...”

  “I’ll be there in a while, Bridget.”

  “But... what if something happens to you?”

  “It won’t.”

  “I’ll be alone.”

  “Bridge, I’ll be fine and I’ll be there in two minutes.”

  “What’s so damn important?” she asked, sounding very much older and angrier than any thirteen year old should be.

  “I’ll tell you when I get there. Just go. I’ll be okay, Bridget. Now go, I love you.”

  “Well goodbye then, I guess.” she said. She turned her face away from me and struck a defiant posture.

  “Tasha will take care of you if anything happens.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Tasha, please?”

  “Just hurry back, Becca.” Tasha told me. “If this is important, fine, but hurry back.”

  “I will. Be careful.”

  They went their way, and I went the opposite direction so I could check on the voices. I snuck around a couple of buildings, and down an alley, then between two houses. And there they were. Heading toward where we just left, probably heading toward the sound of the guns.

  Seven... no, eight guys. All with huge guns. Between them, being shoved around by two of the guys, were three women, probably all mid twenties to early thirties. The guys were pointing guns at them, shouting at them, shoving and hitting them. The girls were covered in bruises. I can’t let these guys find the others. The world falls apart and the first thing those guys think about is holding those women hostage? And what are they doing with them? I really don't want to know, I guess. Those poor women.

  I hurried back, running as fast as I could so we could be out of town before those guys had any idea where we were. Except I bumped into one of the stumblers. He was just shuffling and stumbling around, and when I ran into him his arms wrapped around me. I screamed, and wiggled, and finally got free. That was too close! I hurried back to the car and climbed into the front seat.

  “Go!” I shouted.

  “What’s going on?” Bridget asked. Tasha spun the tires taking off.

  “There were people.” I said. I started crying again.

  “What? We have to go back!” Amber shouted.

  “No. Huh-uh. There were a bunch of guys... beating and shoving three women around.”

  “Are you serious?” David asked. “We can’t just leave them behind, then
.”

  “The guys all had huge guns, like army guns, and there is nothing we could do.”

  “We could hide and pick them off one at a time.” he said.

  “No.”

  “We can’t leave...”

  “It’s them or us! I made a promise to take care of you, and I’m going to do it. That means I have to choose whether to save your sorry ass or those women. It sucks, but there’s nothing I can do about it!”

  “Calm down. We know, okay.” Tasha told me. “Are you okay?”

  “Just stressed and scared.” I said, wiping at my face.

  “No, I mean your arm. What did you cut it on.”

  “Oh... shit.”

  I’m dead. I’ve got that disease. I don’t want to die! Okay, okay. I have to protect them. But if I’m dead I can’t do that. If I’m stumbling around trying to bite people I can’t. But I can’t survive this. Shit! I wish Dad were here. Why me? Why did I get this? How could I be so stupid!

  “Stop the car.” I said.

  “What? Becca...”

  “Stop the car, Tasha!”

  She swerved to the side and slid to a stop. I opened the door and got out and kicked the fender, then the door, then a huge rock. That one hurt. Everyone was getting out of the car.

  “Bridget, I’m so sorry honey.” I told her. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I have to go.” I whined. “Come here.” I held my arms out and she stepped into them. “I love you so much. I would do anything to protect you. You know that, right?”

  “Becca,” Bridget whimpered.

  “When Mom and Dad show up, tell them I did my best.”