Sir John Hargrave's Mischief Maker's Manual

by John Hargrave

  PRANK MOVES

  CLASSIC CAPERS

  There are certain “classic” pranks that every mischief maker should know. Even if you never pull them, you should understand how they work, in case anyone pulls them on you.

  The following pranks work well at home, but they’re also great for summer camp, vacation homes, or anywhere you have access to someone’s living space.

  THE APPLE-PIE BED

  This prank dates back hundreds of years, and is truly a classic, like the pastry it is named after. It’s named The Apple-Pie Bed because it makes the inside of the bed resemble an apple turnover folded on itself.

  An apple turnover

  An Apple-Pie Bed

  The modern term for this prank is “short-sheeting a bed,” and it’s extremely simple. With a partner, and some practice, it can be done in less than a minute. You can do it by yourself as well.

  The Apple-Pie Bed is a good prank to know, because everyone sleeps. It’s especially effective for your parents on their anniversary.

  How to Make The Apple-Pie Bed:

  Most beds have a fitted sheet (that you sleep on), a top sheet (that you sleep under), and one or more blankets/ comforters/dirty underwear.

  First, make a mental note of where everything on the bed is placed.

  Take off all the covers and the top sheet (leaving only the fitted sheet).

  Lay the top sheet back out on the bed. Tuck the top side snugly under the mattress.

  Now take the bottom two corners of the sheet, and fold them so they’re about a foot from the top of the bed. By folding the sheet in half, you’re forming a “pie pocket.”

  Put the rest of the covers, comforters, and dirty underwear back on the bed, exactly as they were when you found them. Try to make sure the sheet is showing, so they can easily grab it to crawl inside.

  Note: Some sheets have a different color on the reverse side. If the top layer looks suspicious, you can turn it down so that the front side is showing.

  One variation on The Apple-Pie Bed is to add whole apples to their bed, for that authentic apple turnover taste. This is not recommended on your parents’ anniversary.

  With the help of a partner, practice The Apple-Pie Bed on one of your own beds. Then make the bed look normal. Be sure your parents notice that you made your bed without being asked.

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  THE INVISIBLE TOILET FORCE FIELD

  For years, scientists have been developing a material that can be used to create an invisible “force field” across the seat of a toilet. Here’s how it works: Your dad or sister goes to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, and everything looks normal, but the advanced force field technology sends crazy droplets of pee spraying everywhere, like deflector shields on a futuristic spacecraft.

  Thanks to the hard work of these noble scientists, chemists, and marketing executives, we now have this “toilet force field technology” in a package you probably already have in your kitchen drawer.

  It’s called Saran Wrap.

  The scientists couldn’t reveal its true purpose, so they disguised it as a “plastic wrap” to keep food fresh. Their trick worked! Your parents have been buying it for years, unaware of its true purpose. It’s transparent and sticky, which makes it useful for a variety of pranks (see It’s a Wrap, page 78).

  How to Make the Invisible Toilet Force Field:

  Most toilets have a cover, a seat, and the toilet itself.

  Lift the cover and the top seat.

  Grab a sheet of plastic wrap and stretch it across the opening of the toilet.

  Stretch the plastic sheet until it is perfectly smooth, then put on a second layer right next to it. The two layers should overlap just enough to keep a tight seal.

  Put down the seat, but leave the cover open.

  Step 3

  Step 4

  Smooth down the plastic wrap onto the bowl. Trim with scissors for a polished, professional look.

  Be sure to wash your hands afterward. You’ve been touching toilets all day.

  Step 5

  Step 6

  IT’S A WRAP

  • Saran Wrap can be used to turn nearly anything into a plastic cocoon: televisions, refrigerators, steering wheels, Harry Potter novels, iPods, everything in and on a desk, the desk itself, etc.

  • Don’t wrap anything that’s alive, with the possible exception of large houseplants.

  • Instead of Saran Wrap, you can also wrap things in aluminum foil for a cool, space-age look.

  SNAKE SNATCHER

  Most mischief makers own some kind of rubber bug, snake, or giant fly, but very few know how to properly use them. These pranks are a lot more disturbing if they suddenly dart across the floor or yard, preferably right in front of someone important, like the president of the local Rotary Club.

  The trick is fishing line, which is practically invisible, making it much better than regular string. Fishing line is easy to find at Wal-Mart, or you may already have some in the garage.

  How to pull off Snake Snatcher:

  Take a huge rubber snake (or spider, frog, large cockroach, etc.). Find a good location for the prank (doorways work well, or behind tables).

  Tie fishing line around the fake snake. Depending on the shape of the snake, you may be able to tie it behind the head. Otherwise, poke a hole through the snake, using a pick or sharp object. Thread the fishing line through the hole.

  Set the prank. Put the snake in its hiding spot, and thread the fishing line to your hiding spot. Don’t worry if the snake is not perfectly hidden; they won’t be looking for it.

  Yank the prank. Just before someone walks over the line, yank the snake toward you while remaining absolutely silent. Do not give away your position by screaming.

  VARIATIONS

  • As you yank the snake across the floor, get a friend to run after it, yelling loudly, as if it has escaped. A butterfly net wouldn’t hurt.

  • Get a friend to yell, ʺHAS ANYONE SEEN MY SNAKE?ʺ from the other room, a minute before you yank the snake across the floor.

  • The Double Whammy: You and a friend cross-yank two snakes across your target’s path, making it seem like a plague. WARNING: Do not get lines crossed. Follow diagram carefully.

  The Double Whammy

  FOOD FUN

  Everyone eats. That makes eating the perfect opportunity for mischief, especially at large communal gatherings like picnics and church potlucks, where it’s difficult to pin it on a single person.

  SALT AND PEPPER SWITCHEROO

  Be on the lookout for those glass saltshakers with the metal screw-on lids. Some mischief makers unscrew the lids, then leave them resting on the top of the saltshaker. When someone goes to salt their food, they get a plateful of salt.

  A more clever twist is to switch the salt and pepper, so they shake the opposite: When they go to put salt on their corn, they’ll shake pepper instead. If you have saltshakers that you can’t see through, this is easy—just dump the salt and pepper onto two pieces of paper, then carefully pour them back into the wrong containers.

  If you have glass saltshakers, there’s a more impressive version of this prank that makes it look like there’s salt in the saltshaker—but pepper comes out the top!

  How to Pull off the Salt and Pepper Switcheroo:

  Unscrew the salt and pepper shakers.

  Dump out half the salt and half the pepper onto two separate pieces of paper.

  Tear off a sheet of Saran Wrap about the length of your index finger.

  Fold the Saran Wrap in half, then poke the middle of the Saran Wrap down into the opening of the saltshaker, forming a kind of “pocket” to hold the pepper. Push it in with your finger, about an inch.

  Pour the pepper into the pocket.

  Screw the lid back on. Do it very gently, so you don’t tear the Saran Wrap. You want just enough to secure the lid, no more.

  Carefully trim away the excess Saran Wrap on the outside, so the trick is invisible. Give
it a shake to test it.

  The Switcheroo prank can also be modified to work on different foods (imagine reversing a bottle of mustard and a container of ketchup). It’s always good to wash the containers after you’ve emptied them, before you fill them with the wrong substance. A funnel comes in handy also.

  Be able to explain the steps of the Salt and Pepper Switcheroo to a partner.

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  EGG IN THE MILK

  Picture this: You’re at the table, calmly sipping a glass of milk. Suddenly you feel something hard and strange hit your lip. When you look down, you don’t see anything except white milk.

  For a few seconds, this is absolutely confusing, and slightly scary. Was it ice? What was that thing? Wait a minute ... is that ... ewww, what is that thing? Frank, there’s something white and hard in my milk! Is it a billiard ball? What the ... oh, I don’t believe it.

  It’s at this point that the pranked person realizes it’s just a hard-boiled egg.

  Watching someone’s confusion, shock, disgust, realization, and then laughter at Egg in the Milk is pretty much the classic prank reaction. When it goes as planned, it’s just enormously fun to watch.

  How to Pull off Egg in the Milk:

  Tell your parents you’re interested in trying hard-boiled eggs, and ask if they’ll make a couple for you. You can also hard-boil your own (cover the eggs with cold water, then bring them to a boil for ten minutes).

  After the egg has cooked, allow it to cool completely.

  Before a meal, gently drop the egg into the pranked glass of milk.

  Serve and enjoy.

  NOTES:

  • Works better in a cup than a glass. Cups hide the egg better.

  • The stunt doesn’t work if they’re using a straw. It also doesn’t work if they don’t usually drink milk. They have to be expecting regular milk.

  Cook and eat a hard-boiled egg. They’re a good source of protein.

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  STAPLER IN THE JELL-O

  Jell-O is one of the best ingredients for mischief making. It’s colorful, harmless, and you can eat the prank later. If you don’t have some in your pantry already, Jell-O can be found in the “Baking Needs” aisle at the supermarket. Be sure to use Jell-O gelatin, not Jell-O pudding. Pudding is good for dropping from hot-air balloons. Totally different prank.

  The classic Jell-O prank is to make a stapler appear in the middle of a quivering Jell-O dessert, with the stapler frozen in time like a museum exhibit. This works best if you’re giving the Jell-O as a gift, and it’s their stapler.

  Instead of a stapler, you can substitute other objects, like a favorite coffee mug or a picture of your sister. Get creative. Jell-O goes with so many things.

  ALWAYS BE CAREFUL: • Don’t use anything that will be ruined by Jell-O (anything that can’t get wet).

  • Avoid anything too small (choking hazard).

  • Don’t use anything of great sentimental value.

  • It’s best to wash the object first.

  How to Pull off Stapler in the Jell-O:

  Find a bowl big enough to hold the stapler. Line the bowl completely with Saran Wrap, which will help you pull the Jell-O out of the bowl when it’s finished.

  Mix one box of Jell-O according to instructions. Yellow Jell-O is best, and not just because it rhymes. Red, orange, or green Jell-O will also work. You can also buy clear gelatin, for a weird futuristic look.

  Pour three inches of Jell-O into the bowl, and put it into the refrigerator for at least three hours. While it sets, make two more boxes of Jell-O.

  Take the solid Jell-O out of the fridge. Place the stapler (or object) on top, and pour the rest of the liquid Jell-O on top. Put in the fridge overnight.

  Get a large, decorative plate or serving tray. The fancier the better. Take the finished Jell-O out of the fridge, and turn it upside down on the serving tray.

  Use the Saran Wrap to “guide” the mold out of the bowl. Once it’s positioned correctly, carefully unpeel the Saran Wrap from the Jell-O. Take your time with this step. If the Jell-O breaks, the prank is ruined.

  Serve and enjoy. (Or just leave it in the fridge to be found.)

  Be sure your pantry is stocked with Jell-O. If not, ask your parents to pick some up at the store.

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  BATHROOM BASICS

  Bathroom pranks are useful because everybody uses the bathroom. The president uses the bathroom. Ex-presidents use the bathroom. Your preacher or rabbi, your parents, each of your teachers, and your principal all use the bathroom. Think of your favorite movie star or rock singer. He or she uses the bathroom anywhere between five to seven times a day. A little more around the holidays.

  This means that bathrooms are everywhere: home, school, your church or synagogue, restaurants, airports, and every Starbucks in America. Bathrooms are also ideal for mischief because you can have privacy in a bathroom. That’s rare. Also, bathrooms have drawers and cabinets for hiding things.

  You can have a lot of fun in a bathroom.

  THE EERIE FOAMING TOILET

  Meet your two friends, Mr. Vinegar and Mr. Baking Soda.

  They’re cheap, easy to purchase, and completely safe. But when put together in the right place, at the right time, they’re completely surprising and unexpected, creating a volcano of harmless foam through the chemical reaction explained on the next page.

  One example of a surprising time to encounter vinegar and soda is when you flush the toilet. The prank works like this: They walk into the bathroom, which has been freshly cleaned. Everything sparkles: the sink, the mirror, the commode. So it seems natural that there is white residue in the toilet—it must be leftover toilet cleaner. Of course, it’s baking soda, and when they try to flush it away, it erupts in a fountain of froth.

  CH3COOH + NaHCO3 → NaCH3COO + H2O + CO2

  (VINEGAR) + (BAKING SODA) → (SODIUM ACETATE) + (WATER) + (CARBON DIOXIDE)

  Combining vinegar with soda causes a chemical reaction resulting in:• Sodium acetate (the chemical that gives salt-andvinegar chips their flavor)

  • Water

  • Carbon dioxide

  It is the fizzy carbon dioxide escaping through the water that gives the baking soda its “foam.”

  How to Pull off the Eerie Foaming Toilet:

  Take the lid off the tank.

  Flush the toilet to clear it. Make note of the sound of water refilling the tank.

  Shut off the water to the toilet. On most toilets, this can be done with a knob between the toilet and the wall. Find the knob and turn it all the way closed.

  Flush the toilet again. You’ll know the water supply is shut off if you don’t hear the tank refilling.

  Hold the handle down until the tank drains as much as possible.

  Fill the tank back up with vinegar. You really need a lot of vinegar: at least one huge jug, two if possible. Replace the lid to the tank.

  Scoop out the remaining water from the bowl.

  Now pour your baking soda into the bowl. Using a toilet brush, work it around to a nice paste. Clean under the rim. Baking soda is one of the best all-natural cleaners, so you’re actually doing them a favor by scrubbing their toilet.

  Clean the rest of the bathroom. This will provide an excellent cover. Leave the toilet seat down, and wait for the chaos to ensue.

  Be able to explain to a partner the chemical reaction that takes place when you combine baking soda and vinegar.

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  EGGHEAD

  Here’s a quick, simple household prank: Replace somebody’s shampoo with raw egg. Raw eggs are disgusting and slimy. They feel like cold snot oozing over your head. And yet, you can easily clean up afterward, making it difficult for anybody to get too mad about it.

  This prank is combined with making breakfast for the person who will later get egged, which is a nice touch that ties together the “egg” theme in a classy way.

  Ho
w to Pull off the Egghead:

  Wash your hands thoroughly.

  In a large bowl, crack open the eggs.

  Using two fingers of one hand, gently scoop out each yolk, one by one. Let the egg white slime through your fingers, so only the yolk remains in your hand. Imagine how this is going to feel on someone’s head.

  Put the yolks into a separate bowl. You should end up with one bowl of egg yolks and one bowl of egg whites.