Yours and Mine (Friends with Benefits)

by Lacey Silks

  “I think you’re right.”

  “And our friends are going to tease us. They’re not dating, and I don’t want them to push us aside. We wouldn’t be a group anymore.”

  I could already see them excluding us from movie nights or swimming at the lake. It had happened before. I remembered when the seniors in our high school started dating and their friends made immature lip-smacking sounds. I didn’t want anyone knowing that we had kissed, or that we liked each other. I didn’t want them to treat us any differently; especially since I’d always been so close to Nick. Was it possible we could keep this a secret? The thought of dating in secret was exciting and I felt my heart skip a beat.

  “And all this time, I’ll be thinking about your pink lips and how much I want to kiss them again.”

  I gasped.

  “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, Jo.”

  “I think I’ve wanted you to kiss me for a long time too. I want you to kiss me again.” I leaned my forehead against his, the anticipation of touching his lips to mine again growing with every second.

  “When we get back home, I will kiss you every day, Jo. It will be our secret, yours and mine.”

  “I think I’d really like that.”

  He gently touched his lips to mine again and held them there. I never knew that so much elation could soar through my heart because of one kiss – well, three as of now, if anyone was counting – but I felt like I was floating. A distinct echo in the distance drew our gazes up to the sky. Although I couldn’t see it yet, I knew it was a helicopter.

  Talk about bad timing.

  We pulled apart, staring at each other for longer than we probably should have, and then shot off the forest floor and ran to the large rock by the river, climbing up and waving our arms back and forth.

  “We’re here!” we screamed.

  As happy as I should have been that we were being rescued, I wished I had more alone time with Nick. Thankfully, now that we had our little secret, I knew that he’d kiss me again soon. His lips were mine, and mine were his.

  Chapter 6

  He was the first person I saw in the morning and the last person I saw at night. I shot out of my bed as soon as my alarm went off, waving to him. He’d wink and blow me a kiss before getting ready for school.

  We’d go about our day as usual, walking to school together, spending lunch at the same table, and then walking back home. It took an enormous amount of restraint not to touch him or kiss him when we were alone, even on the side road, but I kept my distance. The last thing I wanted was for a neighbor to sneak a peek through a window and tell our parents on us. In a town this small, keeping a secret was definitely a challenge. So we reserved our make-out sessions for the weekends, when we met up on the rooftop. And no one was the wiser.

  In the evenings, when Nick wasn’t looking and his lights were turned on, I’d sometimes peek through the window when he changed. If my lights were off, even if he looked my way, he wouldn’t be able to see me in the darkness. Part of me felt like a pervert, but I was pretty sure that he knew I was watching. Every few days he put on a little show for me, doing push-ups on the floor in his low-hanging sweat pants, lunging forward and then back, before changing into his pajamas. He always turned the light off when it was time to get out of his underwear, which was a good thing because I wasn’t ready to see him without them.

  It took six months of playing Peeping Tom for me to work up the nerve to tease Nick the way he’d been teasing me. I wore my nicest bra and panties that day, with a tank top and a t-shirt over top, as well as a sweater. I hoped the extra few layers I’d need to remove would give me enough courage to show myself in the see-through undergarments.

  As soon as my light flicked on that evening, Nick’s turned off, and I knew that he was watching me. Taking the sweater off was easy. I folded it on my bed and then placed it on the highest shelf in my closet, causing my shirt to rise and mid-drift to be exposed. Next came the t-shirt. That part wasn’t so bad either, but when I got ready to remove my leggings, with my backside toward the window, I took in a deep breath. There would be nothing left to the imagination once those were off.

  Anticipating this evening, I had bought them a month ago when I went to the city with Daisy and Molly. I snuck out of the bookstore for a few minutes and used a good amount of my savings to purchase the matching ensemble.

  Slowly, I slid the leggings off, bending lower and lower until they were at my ankles, wishing I could see Nick’s reaction. Dressed in my panties, bra, and the tank top, I then slowly turned around and grasped the hem of my tank, pulling it over my head. A cool breeze blew through my room as Nick jumped from his window to mine. He took two confident steps toward me, cupped my face between his hands, and kissed me hard. It all happened so quickly that I didn’t get a chance to think about the possible consequences. My knees bent as I backed onto my bed. Nick lowered me slowly to the mattress and, supporting most of his weight, laid on top of me. We’d made out this way up on the rooftop nearly every weekend, but never in our rooms, on our beds, nearly naked.

  Nick had already changed into his pajama bottoms, and his shirt was off. The skin-to-skin contact stirred up a new wave of emotion I wasn’t familiar with. My hands slid up his back, feeling the muscles and his ribs, then back down to his narrow waist and his ass. I’d never felt his ass before, and its firmness surprised me. One of his hands cupped my breast, and I pushed my chest higher into it. My hips thrust against his leg while I rubbed myself on him as I got lost in us. When he finally pulled away, his breaths were inconsistent, and I was glad that I still remembered how to breathe.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing to me, Jo.”

  From the way his erection was hard against my stomach, I had a pretty good idea. “I want to touch you… everywhere.” He kissed me again, this time harder. A loud bang sounded as my lamp fell to the floor. Nick had inadvertently knocked it off my side-table.

  “Jo?" we heard from downstairs.

  “Shit, Nick. You gotta go.”

  There was no way that I wanted to take a chance my father would come upstairs and find us nearly naked in my room.

  Nick shot off my bed, but that’s when the lights in his room turned on – his mom was looking for him. I quickly pulled the curtains over my window before she saw us.

  “Joelle, is everything okay?” My father knocked on my door.

  “Everything’s fine, Dad.” I turned to Nick. “Quick, the balcony,” I loud-whispered, shoving him outside before I grabbed my robe off a hook on the door.

  “May I come in?” my dad asked. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  “One sec.”

  I closed the balcony door and saw Nick climbing up the ladder to my roof. I could hear him leap off my roof and land on his. I peeked through my curtain just as Nick entered his room through his balcony door, no doubt telling his mom that he’d been on the rooftop.

  With a big sigh of relief, I opened the door for my father.

  “Are you okay? I heard a loud noise,” he explained.

  “I accidentally knocked the lamp off my desk. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

  “No, it’s fine. But there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

  He sounded serious. “Well, you’re seventeen now, and I thought that maybe we should have a chat about boys; I mean, men.”

  No, no, no. I didn’t want to talk to him about sex.

  “Honey, you’re going to grow more curious about—”

  “Dad, is this about sex?”

  “Ahm, I was going to start with dating, but yeah, I guess that leads to sex.”

  “We had sex ed in seventh grade.”

  “You did?”

  I nodded.

  “So, you’re safe?”

  “Yes. I mean no.”

  “No?”

  “Yes, it’s a no because I’m not having sex.”

  “Oh, okay. Good. Well, not good, but I’m glad that you’re being smart.
” He rubbed the stubble on his face with his hand.

  “Dad, if you feel this is uncomfortable for you, then it’s a hundred times as uncomfortable for me. But I’m fine. My sex life, or lack of it, is fine too.”

  “But if you had questions, would you come to me?”

  “Well, yes, I guess. It’d be easier if you were a woman. But really, there’s no need.”

  “You can talk to Marge, if that makes you feel better.”

  There was no way I would talk to Nick’s mom about my sex life, ever. It’d be weird.

  “I know. And I will if I need to. I promise.”

  “Good. The last thing I’d want is to be a grandfather before you’re ready.”

  “I promise no grand-babies any time soon.”

  “So, is there anyone special in your life? Have you thought about dating?”

  “Nope. I like staying friends with everyone. And dating’s overrated.”

  “Even Nick? I know you two have been close all your lives.”

  “Dad, Nick’s like a brother to me,” I lied. But this was the most believable lie yet, because that was the way I’d explained our relationship to myself before our kiss in the woods.

  My father let out a breath of relief. “Good. I’m glad you two have remained friends.”

  “How about you?” I asked.

  “What about me?”

  “Anyone special in your life? You know, I never told you, but I saw you kissing Marge a few years ago.”

  “You did?” His cheeks took on a brighter shade of red.

  “In the store. She came to get some bread. Were you dating?”

  “We were trying to, but we didn’t want to confuse you and Nick.”

  “So, you didn’t because of us?”

  He nodded.

  Well, that was funny. Because that was one of the reasons Nick and I had decided to keep our dating life a secret.

  “Dad, you and Marge deserve to be happy. I’d have nothing against you two being together.”

  “Do you think Nick would mind?”

  “I don’t know. You’d have to ask him, but Nick’s cool. I think he’d want his mom happy as well.”

  He looked at me adoringly. “You remind me of your mother so much, Joelle. She would have been proud of the young woman you grew up to be.”

  “Thanks, Dad. It’s because of you. You did a good job raising me.”

  “No, honey. Sometimes I feel like you grew up all on your own. Sometimes I don’t know what I’ve done in life to deserve you.”

  I felt my eyes well up, and I threw my arms around him, “I love you too, Dad.”

  My father had raised a daughter from the first day I was born. He’d changed diapers on his own, got up in the middle of the night when I had nightmares, and learned how to braid my hair. My father had given up his life for me, and there was never enough love I could give him back.

  For the first time since I’d started dating Nick in secret, I felt guilty, wondering whether we were doing the right thing by hiding.

  As soon as my father left for his room, I turned off the light and hurried to my window. Nick was already waiting for me on the other side.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah, but that was close. I can’t believe you jumped the roofs.”

  “They’re not that far apart.”

  “Far enough. Sometimes I think you like playing with danger.”

  “You getting undressed like that is playing with danger.”

  My whole body heated just thinking about the lack of clothing underneath my robe and the fact that Nick had not only seen it all but also touched a good portion of it. What scared me even more was that I wanted him to touch me that way again.

  “So… did you like the lace?”

  “What lace?” he winked, making me heat again. “You keep that up, Jo, and I’m going to do something illegal.”

  “What if I want you to do something illegal?”

  “Joelle, you better close your window right now.” His voice was stern, and I knew that his warning was serious – which made me want to crawl over to his room that much more.

  I saw his hand lower beneath the window ledge and I wondered whether he was feeling himself. The thought made me want to check the status of my sheer panties to determine if I’d need to change them before bed time. Actually, I was pretty sure that they were laundry ready.

  He proceeded to close his window when I stopped him. “Wait. I think my dad and your mom still have something for each other. He said they never dated because they didn’t want us to be uncomfortable.”

  “Hmm. You may be right. She asked me the other day if I’d be okay if she went out. I thought she meant with a friend, but I didn’t realize she might have meant your father.”

  “Let’s fix them up. This weekend we can set up a dinner for them in the back yard. Oh, and we can bake a cake together.”

  “You want to bake?”

  “I’ve been meaning to try a cake for a while now. You know that.”

  “So, it’d be like a secret date?”

  “Sure, if you want to call it that. So? Are we gonna do it?”

  “Anything to make you happy, Jo.”

  He then gestured with his finger in a come-hither motion. I leaned over the window and kissed Nick’s waiting lips. That night was the first night I’d ever had a wet dream.

  Chapter 7

  Friday night, ready with my hairnet, I met Nick in the back of the store. His serious expression made me want to giggle, but I kept it inside. If there was anything Nick didn’t joke about, it was baking.

  “What are you two up to?” Marge joined us in the back.

  “It’s Jo’s first cake. Want to meet us in the back yard tomorrow night to try it out?”

  We’d made a plan to ask my father to do the same, and then we’d leave them alone with a bottle of wine for the evening.

  “Sure, but why tomorrow night?”

  “Because there won’t be time to try it tonight. It won’t be ready.”

  Her brows scrunched. Marge lowered her hands to her hips. “Should I be worried?”

  “No,” we replied at the same time, and looked at each other surreptitiously.

  “Okay, holler if you need anything. I closed the store up, Nick. I’m going out for a walk.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  As soon as she closed the door, I turned to Nick. “I knew it! My father said he was going on a walk too.”

  “How long do you think this has been going on?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. Years? It must have been a while. I mean, we’ve been sneaking around for almost a year and a half, and no one has a clue.”

  “Oh, the irony.” He laughed. “One day, when our kids are old, we’ll tell our parents the truth about what’s been going on, and they’ll have a heart attack.”

  I froze. “You think about us that way?” I asked.

  “Yeah, don’t you?”

  “I do too.”

  We were standing facing each other. I could smell his sweet chocolate breath mixed with his cologne and lifted my hands to his chest, slowly sliding them over his pecs, over his shoulders, and around his neck. When we were like this, just the two of us, nothing else mattered. I could have remained in his arms forever, sharing the same space and breathing the same air.

  “There’s no one else I’d rather be with, Nick.”

  “Tell me you’re mine,” he breathed, and a need for something deep I couldn’t understand rolled off his body.

  “I’m yours, Nick.”

  His mouth lowered to mine. Rising higher on my toes, I tasted the sweetness of chocolate on his tongue. There was a sense of danger kissing him in the back of his mother’s bakery – she could walk in any time – yet I couldn’t pull my lips away. When we finally parted, I straightened my apron, and Nick shifted his pants. I wondered whether he was hard underneath his apron.

  He took me by my hips and lifted me up to the counter. Our height was now even. Our gazes
locked, and his hands slid over my jeans and up my thighs. He slowly lowered his gaze down my body, right over my swelling breasts. I was pretty sure that I stopped breathing at one point; that is, until his concentration zoomed in on my zipper and his nails scratched over the fabric there, sending delectable vibrations right to my crotch. I felt that swelling sensation build between my legs, the same way it did at night when I touched myself thinking about Nick.

  “Tell me to stop,” he whispered. “Please.”

  I didn’t want to. I wanted him to keep going. I wanted to see how far he’d go and how far I’d let him go. He was testing my patience.

  “No.”

  “Jo, you have to. Otherwise…”

  “I want to have sex with you,” I blurted.

  He withdrew his hand from my crotch. His expression became angrier as he stepped away.

  “Do you not want that?” I felt my eyes swell, my heart cry, and my body shudder with disappointment. What if I wasn’t enough for him?

  “Of course I do, Jo. I mean, look at me.” He pulled away his apron and pointed to the bulge in his pants. “But not now. Not here where anyone can walk in.”

  “When?” I jumped off the counter, stepping closer to him. He finally took me by my hips, bringing me up against his body, removing my doubts and making everything right again with one touch.

  “Soon, baby. I want it to be perfect and special because you deserve… everything.”

  I stole a quick kiss, smiling, hoping I’d have enough patience to wait for that right moment.

  “So, red velvet is your favorite, right?”

  “Right. But we should probably make your mom’s favorite, black forest.”

  “Black forest it is, then.”

  We started measuring, sifting, melting, and pouring, then mixing the batter together. I followed all of Nick’s instructions, combining the wet and dry ingredients separately before mixing them all together. It was closer to making bread dough than I had thought. With my experience at Dad’s bakery and a detailed recipe, baking cakes wasn’t that much different. In fact, you didn’t have to wait for the dough to rise. Seeing all the masterpieces in Marge’s bakery had always felt magical to me, and now Nick was explaining that magic to me one step at a time.