O.J.

by Penny Hawking

  “Bros before hoes man.” Bernard said with a chuckle.

  “Hey ask her if she wants to be photographer.” I heard Carly ask quickly right before the door slammed. I heard him pause at the steps and walk back down.

  Andy turned the corner and headed back to his desk. He played with his lip ring as he moved his bangs out of his face. “Sorry, they’re annoying.” He said. He made no eye contact with me whatsoever. He sat back down in his chair his back to me.

  I sat on his bed and twiddled my thumbs. Yes I actually twiddled my thumb. I was out of the loop here, maybe I didn’t know as much as I thought I did…I mean, I knew a lot, but …he was acting different. I sighed. I knew for a fact he was mad. I was expecting to have to come here and beg for his friendship again, I even contemplated seducing him…well that was a win-win right there. But I did not expect this. This calm attitude like nothing happened.

  “Soooooo.” I said swinging my legs. “You’re not mad at me?” I asked cautiously.

  “Did you do something that I should be mad at you about?” He asked calmly.

  I narrowed my eyes at his back. I wasn’t sure if it was sarcasm or just a simple question. “Um, no but you didn’t seem too happy when I brought up your relationship with Zeus and the thing with your parents.” I talked slowly to see if any particular topic had him tense up more.

  Andy turned his chair around finally and made eye contact with me. “We don’t have to talk about this.” He said calmly.

  I shrugged. “We can talk about this if you want.” Wait do you want to talk about this? Do you want to open up?

  “Well that would be me assuming you care…which you don’t right?” Andy said crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

  “I do care!” I said quickly.

  “Why?” He asked leaning forward.

  “Because I…we…uh…what?” I asked confused. I drew a complete blank.

  Andy didn’t repeat.

  “Andy come on I care because….” I trailed off. Why do I care about this kid…what is it? Why is my brain not responding? I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out.

  Andy was watching me patiently. “It’s okay…that’s what I meant, I get it.”

  I sat up, feeling like the biggest asshole in the world. I know I don’t love the kid, so telling him it’s because I love him would be a total lie…I could say it’s because I like him. Yeah, I do like him…I mean I wouldn’t have fucked him if I didn’t like him. He’s nice…sometimes. He’s funny, he’s….he’s….oh fuck I’m a bitch….

  “The thing is…I understand more than you Ornelia.” Andy said. “You have no clue what’s going on.”

  “Hey---”

  “But it’s fine.” He said cutting me off. “I don’t expect you to understand, I actually don’t think you will ever understand.”

  Well how rude. I understand stuff.

  Andy ran his fingers through his hair which was getting a little longer by the way. His bangs were too long now, he constantly had to move it aside. “I only let you know what I want you to know.” Andy rubbed his knees and took a deep breath. “So I’ll let you know this, I’ll be fine seriously. Thanks, you helped in some weird way, I don’t know how, but trust me when I say I’ll be fine.” Andy rubbed his neck as I gaped at him open mouth, not able to move or respond.

  He continued. “Girls have a way of taking one thing and blowing it out of proportion and trying to decipher it. Ornelia, for the last time I don’t like Christina.” Andy said pronouncing every word slowly. “The problem isn’t her, it never was, and you and Susie don’t understand that.” Andy sighed. “Yeah she had influence on me, most were not good, but that’s because it’s what I wanted.” Andy rubbed his arm. “I needed, the pain, and the death, and the hurt, I can’t tell you why, but I needed it…she was fucked up herself so she supplied it.” Andy exhaled. “She got better, I didn’t…that’s why she left me.”

  Oh shit. “So what you’re saying---”

  “That’s it.” Andy said. “I’m not elaborating and I’m not telling you anymore about me.” Andy threw his hand up and shrugged.

  “What if I want to know more?” I said shrugging. “You can’t assume you run the world and I only know what you want me to know? What the hell type of way to talk is that Andy? You’re not God.” I stood up angrily. “How are you going to tell me all this and expect me to just accept it as the commandment to my life or something.” I put my hand on my hips and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t underestimate me, if I want to figure out everything about you, I will Mr. Perth.”

  Andy looked at me thoughtfully.

  “I may not love you, but I do care about you. I don’t know why I care, but I do. I shouldn’t because you’re a wrist cutting jackass that thinks he knows everything.” I spewed out.

  I was too worked up to see the smile on Andy’s face which he quickly hid by covering his mouth discreetly.

  I walked towards the stairs and then turned back around. “You know what, if this was your way of dismissing me out of your life so I can’t figure you out you FAILED.” I said. “I’m here to stay and you’re stuck with me, I’m not going anywhere.” I added passionately. My anger was boiling and I didn’t even know why. I went back to the stairs again but turned back around.

  “Matter of fact, I’ll take the job as the band’s personal photographer, that way you would be stuck with me even more. Try that!” I said.

  I haughtily turned around and headed up the stairs. I turned back around and stomped down and turned the corner. Andy was still sitting calmly in his chair.

  “And don’t give me that smug look.” I said as I snatched my car keys off his bed. “And I’m not sorry for being nosey!”

  “You’re so predictable Ornelia, that’s what I love about you.” Andy said casually as he stood up with a smirk on his face.

  “I’m not predictable.” I said defensively.

  “Of course not.” Andy said nodding as he advanced towards me.

  “And I don’t love you so you’re S.O.L.” I said rolling my neck at him.

  “Why are you so mad?” Andy asked as he stood in front of me.

  “Because you’re undermining my abilities!” I responded. “You think I don’t care but I do. I mean I know I’m a bitch, but I’m not a total bitch. If you weren’t important to me I wouldn’t be here. You can’t control what, where and how I figure things out.” I took a step back because he got really close, his nose was mere millimeters from mine. “And I will figure you out. Everything, so stop trying to hide.”

  Andy chuckled and grabbed my arms and pulled me to him.

  What.

  “Do what you want.” He said his warm breath on my cheek.

  “I will.” I said defiantly.

  “I know.” He said.

  What? Why is he agreeing with me? No…I’ supposed to be mad, body stop responding to his nearness.

  Andy placed his lips against me ear as he hugged me. “The truth is, I had some sort of a revelation this afternoon.” He whispered. “I know you better than you know yourself.”

  I felt something strange inside me as my heart sped up. It was a feeling I had once a very long time ago so I pushed him away harshly. I don’t know when my breathing became so shallow. He was creeping me out.

  “Ornelia…” Andy said softly.

  “Leave me alone.” I said starkly. I took a couple steps back as I refused to look him in the eye. What was he doing to me?

  “It’s scary isn’t it?” Andy said stuffing his hands in his pockets. “That we’re more alike than we thought.”

  “Leave me alone.” I said again. I had to get out of here. I couldn’t breathe anymore. I turned around and dashed up his stairs. I swung open his basement door and stalked out, ignoring Susie’s look of concern. I had to get away from this kid. I ran out their house and to my car quickly. What was going on? What bullshit was he talking about? I got into my car and drove off. I’m the sane one. I’m the happy one. I’m
nothing like Andy. I don’t have any fucking issues. I slammed my car wheel. I’m not the antisocial loser who cuts his pain away! So what do I do?

  “Andy what’s going on?” Susie asked her brother angrily as he dashed up the stairs. “Why did she leave like that?”

  “I’m going after her.” Andy said as he grabbed his keys off the counter.

  “Andy what the fuck is---”

  “I need to do this.” Andy said turning to his sister. He had a small genuine small on his face that she rarely saw anymore. “Susie, I can’t cut myself anymore.” Susie looked confused. “I can feel it.” Andy said happily. “You won’t get it, you can’t understand, it’s crazy even to me…but it’s her, she’s the sign.” He said pointing to the open entry door where Ornelia had passed through a minute before. “It’s because of her. In some strange way, she did something to me. And now I need to help her.”

  Susie touched her little brother’s forehead. “Andy are you going crazy?” she asked concerned.

  Andy grabbed his sister’s hands and kissed the tips. “I’m not crazy. For the first time in a long time, I felt the pain. And then I saw her face. She helped me.”

  Susie shook her head. “I don’t get it.”

  “I don’t understand it myself.” Andy said backing towards the door. “But all I know, I didn’t think of Christina…I thought of Ornelia.” He smiled at his sister and walked out the door and got in his red pick-up truck.

  Susie stood by the door in confusion as she watched him drive off. “What the fuck?”

  Chapter seventeen

  I sat in my car tapping the steering wheel as I tried to regain my composure. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I overreact like that? He hadn't said anything out of the ordinary. I let out a big sigh and rubbed my face. Cheer up, where's that smile, put your game face on Ornelia! I looked at my house and turned off my car. Go inside, go get ready and forget anything weird happened today. I unconsciously slammed my car door as I got out. Walking up to the front porch I heard the roar of an engine and turned around to see Andy's red pick-up truck pull up right beside my car.

  Fine you want to help me? Let's have some fun. I put my hands on my hips and plastered a big smile on my face as he stumbled out his car.

  "Ornelia!" he said quickly as he ran towards me. I took in his disheveled appearance. He stood in front of me trying to push his hair out of his face. His blue eyes seemed livelier than it had just minutes ago. He nervously twisted his lip ring in and out of his mouth. "Ornelia we need to talk." Andy said stuffing his hands into his tight black skinny jeans.

  Do we? "Missed me already?" I asked flirtatiously. I bit my bottom lip and took a step towards him. "I mean I just saw you like 10 minutes ago." I said smiling. I pouted playfully as I touched his lips with my index finger and trailed it down his chest to his stomach and over the zipper of his jeans. "Wanna come out and play?" I said in a sultry voice.

  I smiled when I saw the hesitation in his face as he looked down at my finger tugging his zipper. Well, well, well... all boys were predictable.

  "No, that's not why I'm here---stop it." He said removing my hand abruptly.

  I rolled my eyes. "Blow job than?" I asked winking as I began to bend down.

  Andy grabbed me and stood me straight. I groaned inwardly

  Party pooper.

  "Come on Ornelia, playing the whore doesn't suit you." Andy said giving me a disappointed look.

  Oh come on don't look at me like I should know better.

  I smiled. "Well you haven't seen my bag of tricks." I said in a low sexy voice as I leaned into him. This time he didn't stop me as I pressed my lips against his. There, that's what I thought.

  "Actually I think I have seen your bag of tricks." Andy murmured against my mouth. My smile dropped and I pulled away. Smart-ass. "You execute them quite well." He added.

  I turned around to my front door. "Well." I said loudly and exaggerated. "If you don't have anything to say, I guess this is good-bye." I said shrugging. Leave, please leave, I have no idea why you're making me so nervous.

  I felt Andy's finger tap my shoulder. I didn't turn around. For some reason, I felt whatever he wanted to say, I wasn't in the mood to hear it.

  "Look, I know this may sound weird okay..." He said taking a deep breath. I didn't have to turn around to see that he was playing with his lip ring and looking down at the ground hesitantly. But when I did turn around, that was exactly what I saw. Oh Andy you're mannerism are so predictable...why can't the rest of you be like that?

  Andy looked up and fixed those darling baby blue eyes back on me. It made my heart skip a beat. Don't get sucked it, don't!

  "You did something that nobody has ever been able to do since my parents died….or after Christina." He said straightening up. He put a small smile on the corner of his lips. For Andy that was a lot.

  I crossed my arms across my chest with an attitude as I leaned my weight on mostly one leg. This was going to be good. What trick did he have up his sleeve?

  "I think ..." He coughed. "I mean...I know it's time for me to help you. I also want to thank you." He said running his hand nervously through his hair.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. Well this asshole, just when I was starting to really like him. "I don't need help...yours or anybody else’s." I said slowly so every single word could sink in. "But thanks for the offer." Merde. Fou moi le con. As I turned slowly around about midway, the newly persistent Andy Perth decided to speak up once again.

  "Actually." He said grabbing my elbow and catching me off guard.

  "What!" I asked frustrated as I pulled my arm away from him. Andy didn't seem deterred by my obnoxious behavior. He had the audacity to smile. I wanted to wipe that smile off his face but even more when he raised his hand and gently tapped my cheek with his index finger, I wanted to rip it off. Disregard how adorable the gesture was.

  "I wasn't really asking you." He said softly as he took a step forward. "I'm going to help you." He said.

  I took a step back. "I don't need you barging into my business."

  This bastard had the nerves to chuckle. I took in the slight smile on the corner of his lips. Why did I not realize how annoying he was? "Says the girl who barged into mine." He said amused as he tried to wrap his arm around my waist.

  "That was different." I said trying to push him away.

  "How?" he asked amused as he wrapped both his arms around me and pulled me to him. I tried to ignore his fresh scent as it tickled my nostrils, begging me to lean in closer.

  "Because you needed me!" I huffed. Geez why were my hormones raging like this? It was not helping my situation.

  "That's exactly what I'm saying." Andy whispered. I watched as his eyes trailed down to my lips. It was a moment of silence for me because I didn't know what to say. For the first time in my life I was blank. There was an awkwardness in my chest. I looked down at the ground as his head leaned in for a kiss. Missing my lips he kissed my nose. "Ornelia?" he said gently almost on the verge of plea. He tried to kiss me again but I turned my head. His lips brushed my ear. You ruined it you know...we could have had something here...you just had to come along it screw it all up huh? I didn't respond as he kissed my cheek. "You're going to make this hard for me aren't you?" he whispered knowingly.

  I need space. I need to breathe. I pulled away from him. "Leave me alone." I said softly in all seriousness. I shrugged and shook my head. "I don't know where you're going with all this...but call me when the other Andy comes back around." I said reaching behind me, turning the knob and opening my front door.

  "This is me Ornelia." Andy said shrugging.

  I didn't answer him as I pushed the door wider and walked inside the house. I closed the door behind me not waiting to see if he wanted to come in. I leaned against the door confused. What was going on here? And why were my hands trembling?

  ******

  I held the phone with my shoulder as I tried to fix somebody's eye in the picture. "Shit." I said hitting the back
button. I didn't want to give her a black eye.

  "Why did you curse?" Fleur asked as she stopped telling her story.

  "Sorry babes, I didn't mean too." I said moving my cursor over. "And you better not repeat that to momma or else."

  Fleur laughed. "I know better than that Nee-nee." She said matter-of-factly. "Oh guess what?" she said excitedly.

  "What?" I asked as I airbrushed the model's legs.

  "Ce-Ce's home!"

  "Great." I said my lack of enthusiasm even sounded cold to my ears. Whoa bitch much?

  "When are you coming back home...and when are you going to bring Andy again?" She asked brightly. I didn't need to see her to know that she was practically jumping up and down with joy.