O.J.

by Penny Hawking

  I walked backwards, unable to meet his eyes. I bumped into my desk but I had nowhere else to go because Andy was right there in front of me, nose to nose, demanding an answer. I looked at the ground.

  “Cause you felt sorry for me?” He asked calmly. I didn’t answer him. “Because you thought I needed a friend? You thought I was some lonely kid who cut himself because he had nobody? You thought you would just step in and make everything perfect right?”

  I couldn’t meet his eyes or answer his questions.

  “I was fine without you.” Andy said.

  I glared at him as I finally looked up. How dare he? “You were fine without me?” I scoffed in disbelief. “So why’d you let me in?”

  “Cause I felt sorry for you.” Andy answered confidently as he pointed his finger at me.

  “What?” I said standing up straighter. Who the hell did he think he was?

  “I felt sorry for you.” Andy repeated his voice calmer. “I know what it’s like to pretend. To act like everything is so fucking dandy but inside you feel like this big massive tornado ready to explode at any time.” Andy said passionately. “I saw it every time I looked at you.” Andy said lowering his voice. “You were so good at hiding it, I almost missed it.”

  I gripped my desk tightly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said gritting my teeth.

  “Ornelia don’t do this to yourself.” Andy said, his blue eyes dark with emotions. “I know what it feels like, keeping it all inside, telling yourself all these lies.”

  “You don’t know me.” I snapped at him. “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “I know you!” Andy yelled. “I know you all too well Ornelia…so what if you don’t slit your wrist to take away the pain?” He demanded. “You fucking make all these excuses in your head----

  “Get out!” I yelled pushing him back.

  “Why cause I’m telling the truth?” he asked grabbing my wrists. I tried to break free but he wouldn’t let me as he pushed us back against the desk, locking me in place. “Why are you so scared?” He asked softly, his eyes looking sadly at me.

  “I’m not scared of anything!” I shouted.

  “You’re scared of everything!” Andy countered. “You thought I was fucked up?” Andy scoffed. “Ornelia have you seen yourself lately?”

  I don’t know what came over me as I broke one hand free and slapped him hard across the face. I could still feel the sting on my hand after the contact but I was too angry to do anything. My eyes teared up as I pushed his shoulders. “Get the fuck away from me!”

  Andy didn’t even bother to touch his cheek as he turned his head once more to me. He looked more sad than pissed off as he met my eyes. “After a while, you’re gonna get fucking tired of this. And you’ll feel like shit.” He played with his lip ring as he turned away from me. “I hope you fucking enjoy it.” He said in a low voice. He turned around and left my bedroom.

  “I will!” I shouted behind his back, tears streaming down my face. “I’m gonna fucking it enjoy it till I die!”

  Andy stormed out the house to his truck. He hadn’t meant to get angry. He’d wanted to tell her some good news. He wanted to share it with her, knowing it would make her happy. He got to his red truck and kicked the tire angrily. He turned around and punched his driver door repeatedly, ignoring the throbbing pain shooting up his knuckles. He pressed his forehead against the door. He closed his eyes tightly to hold back the tears threatening to spill out. “Fuck.” He whispered wiping his hands over his face. He turned back to Ornelia’s house, tempted to run through the doors and pull her in his arms and tell her it was going to be okay. He opened his truck and got in, immediately starting the engine and drove off. What was the point? It would be the same shit again.

  *******

  “Hey you okay?” Brittany asked me for the millionth time that night.

  I rolled my eyes as I grabbed two shots off the counter. “I’m more than okay.” I said smiling brightly. I squinted my eyes as I downed one and then another. Oh tequila. Brittany held her beer to her chest as she looked at me. I took another one off the counter and grinned at Ben. “Thanks hun.” I said winking at him.

  Ben nodded and winked back as he kept filling the little plastic shot glasses. “Come back and spend some time with me gorgeous.”

  “I sure will.” I lied, I turned back to Brittany and offered her the shot. “Want one.” Brittany shook her head. I shrugged and took it like a pro.

  “You’ve been drinking a lot since we got here.” Brittany said grabbing my hand. “That’s your tenth shot…slow down O.J.” She whispered.

  I turned to my best friend and pinched her cheek. “It’s a party Brittany!” I said loudly as I pulled her to the living room where the music was going on strong. I shouted at her to have fun, but I knew she couldn’t hear me because I could barely hear myself with the bass dropping. I tugged her and grinned as I pulled her to the middle of the dance floor. I closed my eyes as I started dancing. Nothing…I wanted to think of nothing and feel nothing. Especially if it had anything to do with Andy.

  Brittany and I were dancing perfectly fine by ourselves until a couple guys tried to cut in. Brittany tried to protest but I let them know they were cute as I pulled them slower and started grinding on them. Sandwiched between two sexy guys was all I needed, regardless of the fact that I didn’t even know they’re name. When I turned around I noticed Jazmine and Nico had joined us. I yelled to let them know how happy I was, as I wrapped my arms around their neck. “What took you guys so long?” I asked, not aware that I was slightly slurring my words.

  “I was over there.” Jazmine said wrapping her arms around my waist.

  “I just came from work.” Nico said as he started bopping his head to the music. I grinned as I leaned up and kissed him sloppily on the mouth. I turned around and did the same to Jazmine, who turned to Brittany.

  “Okay, O.J. can hold her liquor, so how much did she really drink?” she asked worried.

  Brittany held up both hands as she placed her beer against her chest.

  “She’s lying!” I shouted to Jazmine as I dragged her and Nico to the dancefloor. “Let’s dance.”

  Brittany was a little bit of a party pooper but Jazmine and Nico really knew how to get down. I loved partying with them because they never failed to keep the party going. Nico showed off some of his dance moves as we cheered him up. I laughed loudly as I tried to push the thought to the back of my mind what Andy was doing right now. I took Jazmine’s hands and started dancing with her as Nico tried to persuade Brittany to dance.

  “Brittany! Brittany! Brittany!” Jazmine and I started chanting. The chant took and everybody on the dancefloor started chanting to an embarrassed Brittany. She stuck her middle finger up at us as she finally let Nico pull her against him and start dancing. I had erased everything and anything out of my mind as I felt an arm snake around my waist.

  “Still up for my private dance later?” Zeus whispered in my ear as he brought his hand lower. I grinned and turned around and pushed him.

  “Maybe.” I teased as I moved away from him. I left my friends on the dancefloor as I made my way over to a quitter section. I stepped up on the chair and climbed over the counter Ben was at and joined him.

  “Missed me already?” He asked grinning as he pulled me into a hug.

  “You know it.” I said kissing his cheek. Ben smelled good. I thought as I inhaled his scent. His hazel eyes smiled at me as he pulled me against him.

  “You stay faking on me O.J.” Ben said bending down and kissing my cheek.

  “Who’s faking?” I asked giggling. I reached in my pocket and took out my phone nervously. Nothing. No call, no text message. I shoved my phone back in my shorts and grabbed the bottle of hypnotic and poured myself a cup. Ben raised his eyebrow at me as I drank the liquor down quickly.

  “Whoa….” Ben said taking the cup from me, but I had already finished it. “Slow down there…it’s sweet…but it can fuck you up
.” He warned.

  I grinned as I leaned over and kissed the handsome light skinned boy’s chin. “Just like me.” I teased. I laughed as Beyoncé’s end of time started playing. “That’s my song.” I shouted. I froze for a second as Andy’s face came to mind. I had forced him to listen to it last month since he didn’t listen to pop. I shook my head and tried to get on the counter but kept stumbling over Ben. He laughed as he grabbed my butt and hoisted me up. I turned on top of the counter and winked as I started dancing for him. Andy’s face kept popping in my head as I kept moving. The encouraging howling and chanting from the crowd that was forming kept me going. I stared in the crowd and saw Zeus watching me carefully as he brought his beer to his mouth. I winked at him and lifted my shirt slightly. I winded my hips as my shirt kept lifting higher and higher, never breaking eye contact with Zeus. But it wasn’t really Zeus I was seeing.

  “Okay, okay, show’s over.” Nico said grabbing my legs together and pulling me off the counter. I laughed at the protest he got from the group of guys that had come to watch. I let him lead me away as I stumbled against him. “You are going home.” Nico said wrapping his arm around my neck. “No more drinking for you.”

  I looked up at him and pouted. “No…Nico let’s dance.” I said.

  Nico shook his head as he looked in the crowds from my best friends. I giggled as I grabbed his waist and lead him in the opposite direction.

  “O.J.” Nico yelled.

  I grabbed his waist and pressed myself against him. “Look Nico it’s our song.” I said happily as Kelly’s lay on me feat Big Sean started playing. I knew this was one of Nico’s favorite song. He was a big fan of Big Sean and he said he wanted to marry Kelly. SO he couldn’t resist as I started dancing against him. I felt his arms coming around me as I winded against him. I closed my eyes and smiled. I knew he wasn’t going anywhere when I felt his erection against my butt and his head dipped to my neck. Nico’s arms roamed up my thighs, over my short and up my shirt as I slowed my grinding purposely. His breathing got heavier against my neck as he winded his hips against mine. I turned to face him and smiled at the lust I saw in his eyes. Taking his arms I dragged him off the dance floor to another darker corner of the room.

  “Uhm O. J…” Nico said finally founding his voice.

  I pressed him against the wall and shut him up with my mouth. I pressed my hot body against his and ran my hands up his shirt. I noticed Nico’s slight hesitation, but when I nibbled his bottom lip playfully. He grabbed my butt as he kissed me harder. I moaned against his mouth as my tongue met his. I felt his hands rubbing my butt as he pressed me harder against him. I sloppily brought my hand in between our bodies as I reached for his bulge pressing against my thigh.

  “Wait…wait…” Nico said breathlessly as he broke the kiss.

  “It’s okay.” I whispered as I kissed him again.

  Nico groaned as he tore his mouth away from mine and pulled me off him. “Fuck.” He said shutting his eyes as though in pain. “I never thought I’d say this…” he looked at me in confusion. “We can’t do this.” He said reluctantly.

  I could see it in his eyes. He wanted me, I knew it. His body was hot and trembling every time he touched me. His dick was on the verge of bursting out his pants. “I’m giving—giving you what you always wanted.” I slurred heavily as took a step towards him. I grinned and took another step and stumbled against him. Nico caught me and lifted me up. “Don’t you want me?” I asked.

  “Yes—no—I mean yeah…not like this.” He said confused.

  I smiled. “Nico, its fine.” I whispered. I leaned in to kiss him and he moved away from me.

  “O.J what’s wrong with you?” he asked holding me at arm’s length.

  “Nothing.” I lied, laughing at the question. “Why?”

  “Because this is wrong.” He said sadly. He looked around him. “I’m always going to have a crush on you till the day I die, that’s not going to change. But I know you and me will never be. You don’t like me like that and I accepted that. I’m fine just being your friend.”

  I stumbled against the wall, shocked at the rejection. My mind wasn’t completely able to process what was going on. “Are you rejecting me?” I asked slowly.

  “Look…” Nico said pulling out his phone. “Do you want me to call Andy? He’ll know what to do with you.” He said grinning as he held my hand.

  “I don’t—no…” I said shaking my head. Nico looked confused. “No Andy---not my boyfriend.” I slurred. I grabbed my head because everything was spinning.

  “O.J are you okay?” Nico asked lifting my head. I tried to focus on his face but I couldn’t.

  “I’m fine.” I mumbled.

  “There you guys are!” Brittany said running towards us. Jazmine was following behind her. “We were looking everywhere for you.” She said breathlessly. “You were supposed to grab O.J. and so we can head home.”

  “I’m fine.” I said loudly.

  “Not with that little table dance.” Jazmine said putting her hand up. “You’ve had way too much to drink. You can’t even sit up straight.” She pointed out to me leaning against Nico for balance.

  “I’m fine!” I yelled pushing off of Nico. “If you guys want to leave go ahead. I’m still not done partying.”

  My friends looked at each other.

  “Maybe if we called An---“

  “And don’t bring up Andy!” I snapped at Nico.

  Brittany grabbed my hand forcefully. “Don’t be stupid Ornelia.” She whispered. “You’re out of it, let’s go ho---”

  “Whoa I was looking all over for you!” Zeus said loudly. I grinned up at Zeus as I pulled my hand from Brittany’s hold.

  “I was just on my way.” I said trying my hardest to focus on the green eyed hunk in front of me.

  Nico grabbed my hand. “Hey, let’s go home.” He said calmly. “You’re not yourself.”

  “She seems herself to me.” Zeus said wrapping his arms around my neck.

  “That’s what—what—I try---told them.” I said grinning. It was getting so confusing and the room was spinning so I held on tightly to Zeus.

  “Well if she wants to fuck up, I’m out.” Jazmine said annoyed. “You’re acting like Ornelia’s this big baby, she’s a fucking grown woman that’s allowed to make her own stupid ass decisions.” She said brushing past me angrily.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.” Zeus said grinning. “It’s my birthday after all.”

  I grinned as I looked up at him. “Happy Birthday Zeusy.”

  He laughed as he kissed my cheek and brought me to the dance floor.

  Brittany turned to Nico. “What do we do?” she asked.

  Nico stared at Ornelia’s body disappearing into the crowd. “It’s so fucking hard making the right decision.” He grumbled. He grabbed Brittany’s beer and chugged it and walked away.

  Brittany groaned as she looked around. She took out her cellphone and dialed Andy’s number. It kept ringing and ringing and then went to the voicemail. She tried two more times and the same thing. Brittany sighed as she went through the crowd. She saw Ornelia dancing with Zeus and a couple other people in a circle. She made drunk look so fun. But the thing with Ornelia is that she was so good at pretending. Right now Brittany was sure Ornelia probably couldn’t tell who was in front of her. There was no use in trying to drag her away, she was even more stubborn intoxicated. She looked around for Jazmine, she might as well ride back with her, because it didn’t look like O.J. was going anywhere anytime soon. She hesitated as she looked back at O.J. she shrugged as the slight fear went away. Nobody would ever take advantage of O.J. she’ll be fine.

  *******

  Andy stared at his phone without moving.

  “How long are you gonna keep staring at that? Christina asked.

  Andy didn’t answer.

  “And it’s not like he’s answering, people keep calling him and shit and he doesn’t even respond.” Seth said annoyed. “Come back and prac
tice.”

  “It’s not her that’s calling.” Jared said calmly as he strummed away on his bass.

  Andy looked up and met Jared’s eye briefly. He looked back down and took the battery out of his phone angrily. He picked up his guitar and went back to the group.

  “That’s the spirit.” Seth said running his fingers through his guitar keys playfully. “Finally the official new permanent member of Torn Rose!” He shouted. Everybody hollered and cheered. Andy nodded as he smiled sadly. He quickly gazed at his blank phone on the counter.