To Have and to Trust (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 1)

by Allie Palomino

  “Andie isna a whore,” Gavin said in a low growl.

  “She is what ye treat her as. Some of the men are slowly coming to understand yer involvement with her and still they want her. Ye best nay let her get away for there may be others who will offer her what ye willna.”

  “I doona care what the men think of her. She will warm my bed until I’ve nay need for her.”

  “What happens if she carries yer bairn, Gavin?” Gabriel asked, his annoyance evident.

  “Than ‘twould nay be mine.”

  “What nonsense are ye spewing?”

  “Doona insult me,” Gavin said irritably.

  “I insult ye when I see fit and I see it fit when ye are toying with Andie. She could be carrying yer bairn, Gavin,” Gabriel said, growing more annoyed.

  “Gabriel, I’ve nay one bastard since Sarah’s death and do ye know why?”

  Gabriel shook his head. “I only know ye doona want anymore bairns.”

  “Aye, I doona and I accomplish that by nay planting my seed in fertile gardens.”

  Gabriel looked shocked. “Ye doona finish in them?”

  “Nay, I doona. I doona want a bastard or even another legitimate bairn. I have my heir and ‘tis enough for me.”

  “Riley isna the Dark Wolf, Gavin. The line will die if ye doona sire an heir of yer own seed.”

  “The Dark Wolf be damned, Gabriel. Why waste the life of a woman? I willna. I doona want to wed again and I doona want another bairn. If I need the services of a woman, I will take them freely without forming a longstanding bond.”

  “Andie is nay just ‘any woman,’ Gavin. What if a woman whom ye dally with miraculously grows yer seed?”

  “If the distasteful and unlikely occasion occurs, ‘twould nay be mine. Assuming as ye want me to, however, that the seed is mine, there is a low chance that the curse would continue.”

  “How so? The woman who bears the Maitland heir, the next Dark Wolf, will die.”

  “How is it ye know so little about the curse, Gabriel?” Gavin asked, frustrated by Gabriel’s elementary questions. His eyes glowed menacingly.

  “Da never told me about the curse.”

  “Nay, he wouldna have,” Gavin said pensively. “It only affects me, nay you.” He paused and continued. “A mon can only beget a Dark Wolf heir in one way, Gabriel, and that’s to his mate. The first son born from their union will be the Dark Wolf. For the curse to occur, the Dark Wolf’s mate must bear a son.”

  “What do ye mean by ‘mate’? Ye mean, wife.”

  Gavin shook his head. “I mean mate. The wife may not be his mate. Sarah wasna mine. I was fortunate that she never carried my bairn.”

  “How do ye know she wasn’t yer mate?”

  “I didna feel her.”

  “Feel her? Gavin, this is verra mystical.”

  Gavin shook his head and smiled. “I canna deny that it is odd. It would be odd for someone nay familiar with this. Da explained it to me, because I was his heir.”

  “So yer mother was his mate?”

  Gavin nodded his head. “Aye. He loved her deeply.”

  “He married my mother nay a scant month after yer mother’s death, Gavin. That’s nay love.”

  Gavin sighed and looked up at the sun. He disliked the direction of this conversation. The history between his mother and father was not a simple one.

  “Let us go inside, Gabriel. I will tell ye,” Gavin said, turning and entering through the door. Once in the great room, Gavin sat down and Gabriel followed suit. Gavin looked at Gabriel and explained.

  “Da knew that my mother was his mate.”

  “How?”

  “There’s a connection the two feel, he once said to me. When his mate was in pain, he felt it. He told me at first he hadna believed that my mother was his mate.”

  “How did he find out, then?” Gabriel asked, hesitantly. He’d never heard this before. Gavin was always quiet about the curse. He knew about their family history, but never about the legend. It was too otherwordly, but apparently, true.

  “My mother fell when she was carrying me. It was during her fifth month. She experienced pain that, as my father said, would have fell even the strongest of men.”

  “How would he know?”

  “He felt the pain,” Gavin said, simply, as if it were an ordinary occurrence.

  Gabriel’s eyebrows rose well above his eyes.

  “Aye. He said it dropped him to his knees. Our uncle and a couple of other clansmon had to help him off the ground. He knew something was wrong with her and in that moment, he was left devastated.”

  “How so?”

  Gavin inhaled a long breath and released it. “He was verra much in love with my mother, so he said. And-”

  “But I believed he was a philanderer. If he loved yer mother, why did he bed mine?”

  Gavin sighed, shaking his head. “Because he was scared.”

  “Scared? Robert Maitland?”

  Gavin nodded. “He did love my mother. Deeply. When he was affected by her fall, he yelled in anguish, more from grief than physical pain. He began praying that I was a girl.”

  “He knew he would lose yer mother if ye were a lad.”

  “Aye. Then he wouldna have another bairn with her, so as nay to chance her death. And he told me, on his sober days when I was young, that he knew I was a boy. My mother had said often enough that she had felt I was a boy.” Gavin stopped and gathered his thoughts.

  “When this happened, he knew he would be losing his love. Before my mother’s fall, he hadna ever felt the connection between them, as he had so often been told by his own father that he would feel with his mate. Da had never mourned the lack of a connection because of the love he and my mother shared. He didna want them to have the connection so that they may live together, for the rest of their lives.

  “After that day, he became reckless, he told me. He separated himself from my mother and sought out other company. He saw yer mother, and grew enamored. Ye were conceived. My mother was eight months along with me when he told her yer mother was carrying ye. It destroyed my mother and Da begged for her forgiveness. He had told her that he didna want to lose her and that he had been in a sorry state, anguished. She forgave him, Da had said, because in the end, she knew she would perish during my birth if the legend came true. After my birth, it was as if he died inside. She died mere hours after I was born. A month after, he married yer mother and she had ye, four months later.”

  Gabriel sat there still for a time, taking it all in. After what seemed like an hour had passed, both lost in their own thoughts and memories, Gabriel spoke. “How did ye get him to talk so freely about this? There were moments when Da was caring and wasna so harsh, but most of our lives, he was a harsh mon.”

  “Da became mournful when he was dallying too much in the spirits and ale. I always wanted ye to go to yer chambers, as a precaution against his anger. ‘Twas then, when he shared this with me. It was in those verra few moments when he wasna the harsh Dark Wolf. He warned me about the curse. When he died in battle, he told me he should have listened to Althor’s prophecy, but didna. He thought he was invincible.”

  “Do ye truly believe he thought he was invincible?”

  Gavin thought about this a time, before answering. “Truly? I believe that it was a factor, but nay the whole of it. He knew there were many Lockhart warriors there, and knew he would need a large force. He took half the amount he needed. I believe he wanted to die. Yer mother had passed, when she labored our sister four months early. Then our sister, so small, died as well just two days after her birth. At the time of the battle, he didna have the will to live.”

  Gabriel took another moment to collect his thoughts, then said, “He was so harsh with us. Especially with ye, Gavin. Forcing ye to be the best, to lock away yer emotions, to be hard. He pushed us to be cold, unfeeling men. He would shove ye and shame ye when ye made the wrong move with yer sword during training. He’d make ye practice from sun up until sun down, until ye couldn
a walk anymore.”

  Gavin stayed silent for a minute after Gabriel finished. “I believe he was trying to harden us after the pain he endured. He didna want us to be like him. He wasna always harsh. There were times when he was just Da, instead of Laird Maitland, the Dark Wolf.”

  Gabriel nodded.

  “Thank ye, Gavin.”

  “For?”

  “For telling me this. ‘Twas not easy, I know.”

  “Ye deserve to know, Gabriel. I am yer older brother,” Gavin said, rising.

  Gabriel chuckled and shoved Gavin. “By five months, mon!” Both men laughed. It almost seemed reminiscent of the few playful times they’d had as children.

  Chapter Eight

  “I think we willna be sleeping this night,” the voice said in the dark.

  Andie inhaled sharply.

  “Easy, ‘tis just me,” Gavin whispered, as he joined Andie in her bed.

  She let out a slow breath. “Ye gave me a fright, Gavin. What are ye doing here?”

  The top half of his body moved over her and he looked down into her honey eyes. His eyes searched her face, caressing every smooth plain and curve. His eyes feasted on her, slowly, appreciatively, and almost, tenderly.

  Andie watched Gavin beneath her sleepy, hooded gaze. She saw his eyes glow and wondered what he saw in her face that made him feel content. She was beginning to understand him, and was beginning to read him and his moods.

  “What is it?” she asked him when he continued to stare down at her.

  “I’ve missed yer warm body, Andie,” he said gruffly. “I need ye.”

  He took her mouth possessively. Savagely. He kissed her as if it had been years since last their lips touched. Andie began to moan. Gavin slowly pulled back.

  “It’s been a long while, Andie. We’ve nay made love since before I was ill.”

  She stared up at him, too confused and shocked to say anything. He didn’t remember all that had happened between them when he was ill. Just as well, she thought, for he wouldn’t like the fact that he’d choked her.

  Before she could respond, he took possession of her mouth again. His caresses and kisses grew more demanding. He began to peel away her shift. Once her breasts were exposed, he took her left nipple into his mouth. Andie arched up and sighed, moaning. Her hands grabbed fistfuls of his hair as he trailed a path to her other nipple.

  “I canna wait, Andie. I must see if yer ready for me. I must have ye now.” His breath was short and harsh.

  He reached down, inserted a finger and almost exploded when he felt her slick dampness.

  “Ye’re ready for me,” he said, looking hotly down at her. “I want to take ye differently, Andie. We havena done it this way, but do ye trust me?”

  “Aye, Gavin, I always trust ye,” she said, looking into his glowing eyes.

  “Get on yer knees and then fall forward on yer hands.” At her blush, he stopped instructing her.

  “Trust me. Get on yer knees. Ye will like this,” he said, his voice deep with arousal.

  Andie wanted to say that she did enjoy this because they had made love like this many times during his illness. She did as he instructed, still feeling shy about being so exposed. Gavin positioned himself behind her. He grabbed her hips and thrust inside.

  Andie arched her back and moaned as Gavin grunted his satisfaction. Immediately, he began to pump her. Her moans grew louder and they nearly drove him over the edge.

  “Andie…Andie…” he chanted over and over. She was in his blood, and he desperately wanted to rid himself of her spell.

  She yelled his name out, and he felt her tightening up. He thrust a couple of more times and felt her waves of pleasure. With a grunt, he slipped outside her, and spilled his seed.

  Panting, she flopped down on her back, with Gavin hovering over her. He leaned down and gave her a passionate kiss. She was breathing shallowly, and he was just as breathless. She smiled when she felt him stir to life against her soft, creamy thigh.

  “Again?” she asked, gifting him with a sexy smile.

  “I think we willna be sleeping this night,” he repeated smiling back, and leaned down to take possession of her mouth.

  “Andie, what is the matter?” Meghan asked. Andie was sitting before the fire the following morning.

  Andie sighed and looked up at Meghan. “I’m just thinking of my mother, my sisters,” she said, and whispered shakily, “my father.”

  Meghan moved over to her and gave her a hug. “I’m so sorry, Andie,” she whispered. She shimmied down next to Andie, on her chair. She rubbed her hand on her back as Andie cried. Andie’s shoulders shook from holding back the tears.

  “Doona fight the tears, Andie. Let them go,” Meghan whispered, hugging her.

  Gavin was just coming in and heard the two women.

  “I feel helpless, Meghan. I canna go save the clan from Alistair. I canna avenge my family’s death.”

  “Why canna laird Maitland help? He is our ally.”

  “The McArylls and the Kerrs are battling. Gavin canna spare the men to send to help us.”

  “But Andie, this is the biggest clan in the Highlands, and quite possibly all of Scotland. Surely he can send men to help us. How could he be selfish?”

  Gavin raised his eyebrows, surprised at Meghan’s chastisement of him. He was pleased at Andie’s defense.

  “Oh, Meghan, ye doona know Gavin. He’s nay selfish. He sent many to help the McArylls. Ye know they are a verra small clan, nay wise in the ways of battling. Bryce said he offered to send one hundred men, knowing that it would weaken his own clan. ‘Twould weaken his clan for the benefit of ours and I canna ask that of him. He is a good laird, a good mon,” she said sadly.

  “Andie, ye-”

  Meghan looked up as Gavin walked forward. Dear Lord, she was about say Andie loved him and that it clouded her judgment. What if he would have heard her and the affirmation that was certain to come out of Andie’s mouth?

  Damn, Gavin thought. He wanted to hear what Meghan was about to say. He wondered what it was.

  “Good morn, laird,” Meghan said, quickly.

  Andie straightened up, he noticed, and surreptitiously wiped her tears.

  “I’d like a word with Andie. Alone,” he said abruptly.

  Andie’s eyes grew annoyed. “Ye could make a polite request, Gavin, instead of ordering.”

  She was back how he wanted her, fiery and not weeping. He didn’t like to see her cry.

  “I’ll leave ye now,” Meghan said hurriedly and turned, bumping into Gabriel. Her eyes were at chest level and she slowly lifted them up to see the owner’s face.

  “Hello,” Gabriel said, smiling. His green eyes shined at the pleasure of seeing her.

  She blushed and his smile broadened. “Hello,” she said shyly.

  “I was wondering if ye would like me to show ye around our land?”

  “I…uh…I think…ummm,” she hedged and brightened as a thought occurred to her. “My father! He wouldna…”

  “I asked him this morn, and he has given permission for ye to walk with me,” he said while smiling widely, for he knew she was thinking of any excuse not to be alone with him.

  “Well…then…yes,” she said slowly, and not too happily. Gabriel almost laughed. Gabriel moved to the side, swiping his arm sideways, allowing for her to precede him. They left towards the door, and Andie smiled after them. Gavin’s attention never strayed from Andie, though.

  “I believe Gabriel has taken a liking to Meghan,” she whispered, turning to Gavin. She didn’t want Meghan or Gabriel to hear her comment. Her smile faltered at his intense stare.

  “What?” she asked irritably. She exhaled up to move the hair out of her eyes. He found her habit endearing. His eyes glowed.

  “What, what?” he asked, hiding a smile.

  She let out a frustrated breath. He smiled at the telling action.

  “Why is it that ye always look at me so intensely?”

  “I doona,” he said, feigning surp
rise.

  “Yes, ye do,” she said, her temper simmering below a boil.

  “Nay, I doona.”

  “Ye are the most annoying mon I’ve ever had the misfortune to know!”

  “Ye are a stubborn lass, arena ye?” he asked, and smiled at the look on her face.

  “Me?” she sputtered.

  “Yes, ye,” he said, calmly- annoyingly so.

  “Ye are so infuriating!” she yelled, pointing at him.

  “Doona yell.”

  “I never yell!”

  “And ye’er angry,” he said, in another low, calm tone.

  “I’m nay angry!”

  Gabriel and Meghan still stood at the door. Neither had left wanting to see the argument between the two lairds. Meghan’s mouth was agape, and Gabriel was silently laughing.

  “Ye’er shouting again.”

  “I doona shout,” she barked.

  “Ahh, now ye’re growling.”

  “I doona growl,” she said in a low, deep, clipped tone.

  Gavin had the nerve to laugh. Her eyes widened then narrowed. Gavin saw her face grow red, and he laughed out loud again.

  “Ye’re as red as a plum, and ye arena angry?”

  Her mouth flew open, and she tried to form words, but none came out. Both stared at one another for a long minute. Andie shook her head and turned to leave. Gavin grabbed her by the elbow and stayed her.

  “Let me go,” she warned in a sing-song tone. He smiled at her tone.

  “Nay.”

  “Nay?”

  “Nay.”

  He grabbed her other elbow and brought her close to him. Staring into her eyes and smiling, he dipped his head down and kissed her. After a long, sensual kiss, he lifted his head. Her eyes were still filled with angry green chips swimming in honey, but she had a passionate haze there, too.

  “I’m leaving,” she said a little breathless. Her face was upturned towards his.

  “Ye shouldna leave so angry, Andie.”

  “Nay?” she asked a bit breathless, trying to combat the fog in her head.

  He shook his head, “Nay. Ye should just leave.”

  She made a growling noise in her throat. Her gaze pinned him and her lips were pursed tightly. With one last glare, she stalked off, leaving Gavin laughing behind her.