To Have and to Trust (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 1)

by Allie Palomino

  “I doona believe I’ve ever seen Andie so angry,” Meghan said, surprised.

  “Ye should save comment, then, because fires are lit everyday between those two,” Gabriel remarked.

  She turned back to him as if she had forgotten he was there. He looked down at her and smiled.

  “Shall I show ye, then, the Maitland land?”

  She studied him a little closer then blushed at the boldness of her stare. His smile broadened. She gave a curt nod and stepped ahead of him, out the door.

  Two more weeks passed, and it seemed to Andie that she had caught whatever had ailed Gavin. Was it only a month ago that I had helped Gavin recover? Aye, that was when he had fallen ill, she answered herself. That was the problem, too. She posed questions to herself and then answered them.

  She sneezed.

  Gavin had just walked in from the courtyard when he heard her. “Are ye falling ill?” he asked, his brows crinkling with worry.

  She ignored him and continued knitting. He would have smiled at her stubbornness if he hadn’t been troubled by the thought of her falling ill.

  “Answer me,” he demanded quietly.

  She still ignored him. It had been like this for the last two weeks. She refused to pay him any attention, all the while he tried to engage her in conversation. He enjoyed the last two weeks, teasing her, knowing that she was trying to ignore him, but knew she failed when he would see anger flare in her beautiful eyes.

  She still refused to answer him.

  “Andie,” he growled a warning.

  As a response, she emitted another sneeze.

  It was the cutest sneeze he’d ever heard. It was delicate and had a high, pinched tone to it at the end. At any other time he would smile and devour her right where she sat. After all, he had been denied her warm body at night for the passed two weeks. He did not take the time to appreciate it now, though. He had noticed her sluggishness lately, and her pale color. Those signs, coupled with her sneezing, made his chest tighten with worry.

  “Andie.” His voice shook with anger.

  “I doona know,” she answered at last, not giving him so much as a glance in his direction. Her fingers never missed a step as she gathered the wool and knitted some more.

  “What do ye mean ye doona know?”

  “Just what that means, Maitland, I doona know,” she said nonchalantly.

  “Ye look pale and ye’ve been sluggish. Now ye’re sneezing.”

  “D’ye spend yer day observing me, then?”

  His anger, fueled by his fear, was growing exponentially by the minute. “I see ye at night here, every night, when ye continue yer damned inconsequential story! Ye arena well.”

  That did it. She snapped her head up and moved quickly to her feet. His eyes were near black, and indication of his own rising temper.

  “If ye hate my story so, why do ye stay here and listen? How dare ye!”

  “I dare many things, Andie,” he said quietly, and stopped his escalating temper before it was out of control. “I’m sorry,” he said calmly. He looked at her face, seeing her paleness. As if on cue, she sneezed again. He moved closer to her and his left hand grabbed her shoulder and his right hand caressed her neck. “I didna mean to say yer story was trivial. I doona hate it, Andie. But ye are falling ill,” he said, his voice like a soothing caress.

  She just stared blankly at him.

  “Have ye had bad dreams again, keeping ye up at night? Ye doona have a fever,” he said, gently touching her forehead.

  “Ye almost had lung fever,” she said quietly, the anger draining out of her. It took too much energy to stay mad.

  Gavin’s eyes widened. He made her sit down on the chair and was about to call out for Greida, when she stopped him.

  “Doona call her, Gavin, I’m fine.”

  “Ye arena, Andie. I could have given ye my illness, and ye just said ‘twas nearly lung fever.”

  She looked at him closely, too closely in fact, for his own peace of mind. “Why do ye care?”

  “What?” he asked, stalling.

  “Why do ye care, Gavin?”

  “I am…was…yer father’s ally. I doona do right by him if I allow ye to fall ill.”

  “Ahh, so I’m yer responsibility, then?”

  “Well, yes,” he said, confused at why she was sounding angry.

  “Well, Gavin, doona concern yerself. I’m fine,” she said, trying to stand up.

  “Ye should lie down in yer room,” he suggested, growing alarmed at her sudden mood change.

  “I said I am all right, damn it,” she said and when she took a step forward, the room spun. The air was pushed out of her lungs and she stumbled.

  Gavin caught her in time, before she hit the floor in a dead faint.

  “Andie? Andie?” he asked, rubbing her cheek. “Greida!” he bellowed. Concern for her made his chest tighten. Dear Lord, what if she has lung fever?

  “Greida!!!” he bellowed louder. Sweat began to form on his brow. “Andie?” he asked gently.

  “What is it, Laird?” Greida asked, hurrying in. Her voluptuous figure was moving as quickly as possible.

  “Oh, dear,” she said, when she saw Andie’s pallor. She left and came back with smelling salts. Meghan stood by worried. She had come in just as Greida left. Gabriel watched his brother closely.

  “Andie, awake now,” he ordered, urgency in his voice.

  Greida came back and stood next to Gavin’s hunched form.

  “What do ye think ails her, Greida?”

  Greida reached out to touch Andie’s forehead. “She’s cool to the touch but has a little sweat on her brow. She’s verra pale. Here, let me bring her to,” she said, waiving the salts under Andie’s nose.

  Andie slowly opened her eyes. Her brows crinkled in confusion.

  “Andie?” Gavin asked, hesitantly.

  “Gavin?” she asked, mimicking his tone, sarcastically.

  Greida and Gabriel were the only ones to laugh. Andie looked disgruntled and Gavin looked like he felt a mixture of anger, relief, and worry.

  “How are ye feeling?” he asked, ignoring her tone.

  “All right,” she answered, then looked around. “Why is everyone looking at me?”

  “Ye swooned,” Gavin said.

  “That’s impossible. I never swoon!”

  “I would disagree, Andie. Ye swooned when ye first arrived here and also when Alistair sent that, ahh…” he paused, and everyone knew he was talking about her father’s head. He continued, saying, “…and I believe this makes it a third time,” Gavin said, knowing this would rile her.

  He was not disappointed.

  She tried to sit up but he wouldn’t let her. “Let me up!”

  “Nay, ye shall rest in yer chamber.”

  “Nay, I willna, Gavin, and quit treating me like a bairn.”

  “I will stop treating ye like a bairn when ye stop acting like one,” he said in a growl.

  She growled back.

  Ignoring her, Gavin lifted her and took her to her room. She was as tense as his young soldiers in their first sparring exercise.

  “Why are ye so difficult, Andie?” he sighed.

  “Well, if I’m so difficult, then leave me alone!” she said, in a near shout.

  He sighed again. “That’s like telling me nay to breathe.”

  “What?” she asked, her eyes returning to his face.

  “Nothing,” he muttered, carrying her weight in one arm while trying to open the door. “Now, I doona want to hear ye protest. Ye will rest here, Andie. If ye are sick, ye need healing. Rest will do ye some good.”

  “Lung fever has few treatments, Gavin” Andie said. She looked up at him and was startled.

  “Gavin?”

  “Ye will rest, Andie! Ye willna succumb to the illness,” he said, his tone low and somber with a slight tremor.

  Seeing his worry undid her and that upset her more than anything else. What a paradox she was! She was upset when he didn’t show interest in her, and
now that he was worried about her, she was upset as well. Who could understand her?

  Emotional- she was that. That’s it. Or was it? Maybe it wasn’t her. Maybe he was too unpredictably predictable. Or was he predictably unpredictable?

  Her face grew pained at the direction of her thoughts. Why was she digging so deeply? Maybe because that was what she needed to do, she thought. Andie groaned. Now she was answering herself again.

  “What is it?” he asked, looking intently at her.

  “Oh, let me go, Gavin,” she said, scowling. She gave his shoulders a tap and he gently placed her on her bed.

  “Rest. And,” he added, as an afterthought, “ye willna be leaving this chamber.” He spoke firmly and looked at her. Her face grew angrier.

  “Ye canna watch me all day,” she said sulking, crossing her arms.

  He looked at her with humor. “Aye, ye’re right,” he said, and smiled in response as her eyes snapped to his. She almost began to smile, believing she’d bested him, but it faltered when he said, “But a guard can.”

  And with that, he left. As he closed the door, he heard faint mutterings that sounded like curses.

  He laughed.

  Aye, his men could learn a thing or two from her about cursing.

  True to his word, Gavin posted a man outside her chamber. She would not be allowed out and her visitors would be highly regulated. Not that there were many, because Andie spent most of her day quite busy. She slept more than she was awake.

  She had asked for more and more blankets, finding the air cooler than usual. Gavin would come in during the night, with Greida by his side.

  “She sleeps with many quilts. Why?” he asked, anxious to hear the answer but worried to hear the truth.

  “Fighting the chills of the lung fever.”

  “Will she die?” he asked, hearing his voice hollow, almost as if in an echo.

  “I doona know that, Gavin. She has been in here a long while. She consumes all the food left for her, and that is a good sign. She doesna burn with fever, which is verra good. But, she sleeps too long and when she is awake, she is so tired that she can barely raise her arms. She is verra weak, despite her voracious appetite.”

  Gavin look at the tray set aside. A piece of bread and the pit of the plum was all that was left on the tray. His eyes widened because he had seen it piled with a loaf of bread, honey, berries and cream, along with porridge, and some meat.

  “Just leave her be, Laird. If the Lord wills it, she’ll be better,” Greida said. “I’ll advise ye to leave, for although ye’ve just had lung fever, ‘tis nay wise to tempt the fates again.”

  He nodded numbly and Greida left. He stayed in the room despite her warning. He sat by her bed, touched her forehead and searched her face. He searched it for any signs of pain or illness, but he saw none. Nay, she did not look ill. She looked healthy, but tired and on the pale side.

  He reached out to touch her forehead again, but stopped when she said his name softly.

  “Gavin?”

  “Ye-” he cleared his throat and began again, “Yes, Andie?”

  “Is it morning yet?”

  He looked out the window, and saw the sun begin to rise.

  “Aye.” Only it was days later.

  “I’m parched, can I have some water?”

  He rose and brought it over to her. She drank thirstily.

  “Can I have more, please?”

  He hurriedly brought her another bit of water.

  “Better?”

  “Aye, thank ye,” she said, stretching. She yawned loudly. “So what have ye been doing since yesterday?”

  He hid his surprise. She really hadn’t realized that days had passed. “I’m a laird, Andie. I have responsibilities.”

  She gave a tiny laugh. “I knew ye wouldna keep a guard at the door.”

  He kept silent.

  “Is Meghan alright? I’ve been in here and she must be bored.”

  “She is alright. Gabriel has kept her company despite her best efforts to leave his.”

  She laughed, and his laughter joined hers.

  “I believe Gabriel enjoys being in Meghan’s presence,” she said.

  “I believe that there’s a little more to it than that, Andie,” he said and looked at her. She began laughing and so did he.

  “She is nay that inclined, it seems,” Gavin said.

  Andie shook her head. “I believe ye’re wrong. She is interested in Gabriel.”

  Gavin looked confused. “Then why does she fight him and try nay to talk to him.”

  She made a frustrated sound and laughed. “Gavin, ye’re handsome. Ye must have experienced the unusual behavior women exhibit when they’re interested in a mon.”

  He laughed and then his eyes narrowed.

  “So what does it mean when a woman hangs on a mon, as if he were saving her life?”

  “Oh, come now! Ye canna expect me to believe ye experienced much of that! Ye’re handsome, but nay that much,” she said with a serious face, and erupted in laughter as she saw his peeved look.

  He smiled at her, wondering where she fit in. Was she interested in him? He shook his head. What did he care?

  He stood up. “Ye should rest. The sun is rising.”

  “Gavin, I doona feel ill. I will see ye in a while.”

  He left her room and she fell asleep.

  It was a week later when she demanded that she be let out of her room. She screamed until Gavin broke away from his training and came up to her room.

  “What in bloody hell is the matter that ye interrupt me while training what little of a group of men I have left, woman?” he growled, the door slamming against the stone as he barged in.

  “I canna believe that ye stationed a guard outside of my room! I want to be let out! How dare ye imprison me here!”

  He held on to his patience, remembering that she had been ill. Hadn’t she? He didn’t know, for the fire was back in her eyes and the color back in her cheeks.

  “Ye doona look rested, Andie, and he will remain at the door to prevent ye from falling ill.”

  “Nay! I willna tolerate this, Gavin. Ye tell him to go away or I swear I’ll jump out of the window!” Andie was so angry, she was seeing red.

  “Fine! I have nay time for this. If the little woman wants to make herself sick, then I’ll nay stop ye!” He turned and shouted for the guard. “Leave her. Let her learn her lesson when she falls ill again. I have nay more time for this. This is too insignificant!”

  He marched out of the room.

  “Insignificant, my arse!” she yelled down the corridor behind him and those servants unfamiliar with her had their mouths open, aghast. Those who were familiar with Andie, chuckled.

  She entered her room again and slammed the door. She leaned back against it, thumping her toe on the floor and growled. “Conceited, ill mannered clout!”

  She changed her dress and decided to go downstairs to get something to eat. She had been told, much to her surprise, that she had been in bed for days. As soon as she stepped out of her room, one of the maids ambled towards her.

  “Oh, young lairdess, ye look better. How do ye fair?” she asked worriedly, lifting her hand to Andie’s forehead.

  Andie gave her an odd look. “I’m verra well, Esther, thank ye.”

  Clarisse, seeing Andie finally out of her room, practically ran over to Andie. “Oh, ye poor soul, so near death. Are ye well?” She asked, as she stretched her hand out to feel Andie’s forehead.

  Andie didn’t hide her confusion.

  “I’m verra well. It wasna as if I was on the edge of death,” Andie said.

  They clucked and looked at one another.

  “Ye were so ill. Days…days abed.”

  Andie knew she wouldn’t get very far. If they were wanting to fawn over her, they would no matter what she said.

  “I think I’ll go downstairs, now. Good day, Esther and Clarisse. Thank ye for yer concern.”

  “Oh dear, lairdess, d’ye think it’s
wise to go down yerself. Perhaps ye may swoon and fall!” Esther said, in a high pitched tone and her voluptuous bosom heaved with worry.

  “Aye, Andie, mayhap we should call the laird,” Clarisse chimed in.

  “That arse! Nay, he wouldna want to pry himself from a looking glass, much less his men,” Andie said sourly.

  Clarisse and Esther gasped. Andie widened her eyes, as if being caught in a pickle.

  “My apologies. I forget I’m a lady,” she said, and hastily moved towards the stairs.

  She stretched before descending the stairs. She felt well-rested; the sleep had done her well. Once she reached the bottom stairs she saw Greida coming in with herbs in her dress apron.

  “Oh, my. D’ye think ye should be up?” she asked, sarcastically, lifting up her eyebrows. Without waiting for an answer, she said, “I doona think so, Andie. Up to yer room,” she instructed.

  “Oh, Greida, come now! I didna even know how many days I spent abed. My limbs ache for a stretch and I feel grand!”

  Greida clucked and trotted over to her, extending her hand out to Andie’s forehead. Andie sighed as Greida checked her temperature.

  “Ye’re as cool as a autumn’s day.”

  “I know it. And, I feel great!” Andie said, smiling wide. She was beginning to think she was in a dream.

  Greida clucked and gave her a last warning to stay away from ill clan members and to take it easy. Andie nodded, wanting to get away from people with chronic-temperature-feeling hands. Her forehead had had enough. She smoothed her dress-skirt down when she heard Meghan call out to her.

  “Andie! How do ye feel?” Before Andie could respond, Meghan rushed over to her, touching her forehead.

  Andie slapped her hand away.

  “Honestly! Are we a little grouchy today?” Megan said, attempting to touch her forehead again.

  Andie growled. “I’m nay grouchy! If one more person touches my forehead, I swear I will scream!” Andie said through clenched teeth.

  “Andie! Are ye alright?” Gabriel said, walking towards her. He went to extend his hand, but Andie ducked as Meghan restrained it. He gave them both a curious look, but held on to Meghan’s hand, which was now trying to retract from his strong grasp.