Her Last Breath

by Tracy Buchanan

‘My money is all tangled up in my dad’s business here. My dad relies on me. If I just upped and left, it wouldn’t be fair.’

  ‘But you said your childhood wasn’t great. Why the obligation to stay for them?’

  His face darkened slightly as he looked down into his cup. ‘Despite the pressure they’ve put on me, they’ve been there when I’ve needed them most.’

  ‘Needed them most?’

  He looked up, face now unreadable. ‘Oh, you know, the usual teenage stuff.’

  ‘You’re lucky they were there for you.’

  Darren examined Estelle’s face. ‘But your parents weren’t, were they? Obviously, I know you had to go into care as a kid. But I never knew the details of why.’

  ‘It’s how you’d imagine really. Two alcoholic parents. Neglect. The usual stuff.’ She didn’t want to go into the horrible details of the incident that led to her finally being put into care.

  ‘Then you had Autumn and Max. I wouldn’t call them teetotallers exactly. But you could never accuse them of being neglectful.’

  ‘True. Though I’ve seen a different side to Max lately,’ Estelle said.

  Anger flared in Darren’s eyes. ‘Yes, me too. I think he really did cover up the landslide risk, you know.’

  ‘You really had no idea he did that?’

  ‘Not at all. It’s very serious.’ The anger in his eyes showed he wasn’t happy at all. It seemed Max had angered a lot of people, just not the core Lillysands set who supported him. Darren forced a smile onto his face. ‘But let’s stop with the depressing talk. Tell me about your book launch, are you excited?’

  The book launch. Right now, that part of her life seemed a million miles away.

  ‘Excited, yes,’ she replied. ‘Nervous, even more so.’

  ‘Oh come on! You have nothing to be nervous about, your book will be a hit.’

  ‘You can’t guarantee that.’

  ‘But that’s the excitement, isn’t it?’ he said, grey eyes sparkling. ‘The not knowing. That’s what stops so many people from achieving their full potential. Fear. Sure, people like you and I can be scared sometimes, nervous too.’ He laughed. ‘I was a nervous wreck before the event I threw for those businessmen.’

  ‘You didn’t show it!’

  ‘Precisely! We both know how to project the right image. And we do not allow our fear to stop us. That’s why I have confidence in you, Estelle. And yeah, myself too.’

  Estelle couldn’t help but smile. He was self-assured, that was for sure. But it was contagious. He was right, wasn’t he? She’d battled her way through everything, beaten the fear down, to get where she was. She had to try to keep hold of that; be proud of it; not let herself fall apart like she felt she was in that moment.

  That was why she needed to go home, get back on track.

  She peered around her. ‘Well, you’ve certainly done well for yourself.’

  ‘Lots of hard work,’ he said.

  She took in the open-plan living room, a large space with a huge black leather corner sofa and glass coffee table. As she peered closer, she noticed a pile of article printouts lying on top of the coffee table. She realised, with a start, that they were articles about her.

  Darren followed her gaze, the tops of his cheeks flushing. He rushed over and tidied them away. ‘Just doing some research so I could show you off at that event the other day.’

  ‘Right,’ Estelle said, not quite convinced. She took quick sips of coffee, welcoming its strong taste but suddenly keen to get away. ‘This is delicious, thank you.’

  ‘Made from one of your recipes.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘The coffee bean and cocoa one?’ he said.

  She frowned. ‘Wow, you really have been doing your research,’ she said, feeling uncomfortable. ‘I thought I could detect some cocoa.’

  He smiled, looking proud of himself.

  ‘So, do you really think Poppy might be here in Lillysands?’ Darren asked.

  Estelle frowned. Why the sudden change in subject? ‘My gut tells me she is,’ she said.

  ‘And you have a good gut, from what I recall,’ he replied, eyes travelling down to her stomach.

  She pulled the bottom of her top down, her skin crawling slightly.

  ‘God, sorry, that was crude,’ Darren said. ‘It’s just that I remember thinking that all those years ago when Max held that dinner party for his business associates. Remember that top he made you wear?’

  Estelle frowned, confused. ‘What top?’

  ‘Don’t you remember? Max was desperate to seal the deal. He knew the men were into young girls so got you and Alice to dress provocatively. Alice had the shortest dress on ever. You had a crop top and tight trousers on. Mum was scandalised, but I thought you both looked pretty hot.’

  Estelle thought back to the dinner. She did remember now. How could she have forgotten? It was a few weeks before she got pregnant. She’d felt slightly uneasy about it. But Max had pitched it as innocent, only clothes, nothing else. Afterwards, she’d been desperate for a bath to scrub away the looks the men had given her. Alice must have felt worse, she’d barely been fourteen.

  She peered down the hallway. ‘Look, I feel a bit gross. I didn’t shower today.’

  Darren wrinkled his nose then smiled. ‘Use my shower! You’ll love it.’

  ‘No, it’s fine. I just wouldn’t mind splashing my face with some water. Can I use your bathroom?’

  ‘Of course. It’s the second door on the right.’

  She got up and walked down the hallway then froze.

  On the walls were seaside postcards, each one featuring a crude but distinct illustration, mostly buxom women in compromising positions as men gawped at them.

  Just like the one she’d found in Alice’s silver box.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  I notice the way you’re holding yourself. Arms wrapped around your waist, head bowed – like you’re dirty.

  You look vulnerable. Scared too. It’s endearing really.

  You’ll be wanting to be leave Lillysands soon. I can see it in your eyes.

  I ought to be happy about that. But the truth is, I can’t decide how I feel. Something inside me wants you to stay.

  And yet you need to leave. You must.

  But what to do now? It was so simple at first: a Polaroid photo here, a threatening message there.

  Or some kind words, a hug. Make you feel you belong despite all you’ve learnt.

  A few manipulations and untruths. Make you think you’re imagining it all.

  I know, I know, I was toying with you.

  I have to admit, it’s satisfying, watching the effect this is all having on you.

  How easily you unravel.

  This is the true power I’ve been told about.

  The ability to pull someone’s sanity apart.

  But photos and words aren’t enough now. I need to do more.

  Chapter Thirty

  Estelle peered over her shoulder at Darren and he flashed her a smile. She returned it weakly then quickly went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her and leaning against it, heart thumping.

  Why did Darren have those postcards? Could he be the person who sent Alice hers? That would mean they’d been dating. It wasn’t so unbelievable. All the girls used to fancy him, why should Alice be any exception? And she had grown to be so beautiful in her last few months.

  The only way to find out was to ask him. She quickly splashed her face with water, drying it on his pristine white towel, then opened the door again and marched through to the kitchen.

  ‘That was quick!’ Darren exclaimed.

  ‘Was there something going on between you and Alice?’

  The smile disappeared off his face. ‘Strange question.’

  ‘Not really. It’s quite a straightforward one. So?’

  Darren seemed to think about it for a while. Then he put his hands up. ‘Okay, I admit it. We fooled around a bit. But then I fooled around with a lot of girls back then,
didn’t I?’ he said, a knowing smile spreading over his face.

  ‘What exactly happened between you and Alice?’ Estelle asked, trying to get back on track. ‘Was it serious?’

  His face darkened. ‘Hardly. Just a few innocent kisses.’ He shrugged.

  ‘But why didn’t Alice tell me?’

  ‘She told me you two weren’t as close as you used to be.’

  Pain stabbed at Estelle’s heart.

  ‘Thanks for the drink,’ she said, grabbing her coat. ‘I think I better go.’

  ‘Why?’ Darren said, jumping up and following her. ‘You only just arrived.’

  ‘Because I’m sick of people lying to me.’ She thought of Aiden, the only person other than Autumn to have told her the truth.

  She walked to the lift, jabbing at the button but nothing happened. Of course – she needed his fingerprint.

  ‘Don’t go, Estelle,’ Darren said, striding after her and grabbing her arm hard.

  She turned and looked at his fingers pinching into her skin. ‘Get off me.’

  He let her go, his face going hard. ‘Fine, go. It’s not like anything could have happened between us anyway, no chance I’d date a girl like you.’

  ‘A girl like me?’

  He looked her up and down, curling his lips. ‘Damaged goods.’

  He leaned over, pressing his finger into the pad. The doors of the lift pinged open but Estelle stayed where she was, blinking at him.

  ‘Go on,’ he said, gently pushing her into the lift. ‘Go have a shower, Stel.’

  The doors closed, her last view of him glaring at her, his hands on his hips. She turned to look at her reflection in the mirror as the lift sank to the ground floor, at her dishevelled hair and creased top. When she got out, she suddenly felt an urgent need to see Aiden. She wanted to feel safe and Aiden made her feel safe. And she was regretting the way they’d left things. She tried to call him but he didn’t answer.

  In the distance, she heard people laughing.

  The festival. He’d be at the festival.

  She headed to the beach to see people crowding the front of the cliffs, the two large marquees buffeting in the wind. Balloons featuring the Lady Lillysands’ distinctive curves bounced up and down as they were carried along by children. A small food market lined the marina, people walking amongst the stalls, buying fish and chips, and mussels and whelks; the smell of the salty chips drifted over to Estelle.

  Whenever this time of year came around in the years after she left Lillysands, Estelle would always think of the festival. The whole town got so excited about it, its flagship event, especially the kids, eager to see what new faces it would bring. Estelle had been nervous at that first festival, the year after she arrived. It wasn’t the sort of event her parents would attend, but that didn’t stop her worrying they might show up, eyes scouring the crowds as Alice bounced in excitement beside her and Aiden strolled along with his hands in his pockets.

  When Estelle watched the crowds now, she tried to see Poppy’s face amongst them. Was she here? She hadn’t heard from DC Jones that Poppy had returned home. It had been too long now, surely. The detective seemed worried the last time he called her. What was he worried about? That she might be hurt?

  Estelle shuddered at the thought. She wanted to leave. But being at Darren’s, realising that even he had weaved a web of lies, made her see she had to get to the bottom of Poppy’s disappearance. She needed to know who had been sending the notes and how it was all connected. But she felt like she was banging her head against a brick wall, a brick wall lined by the residents of Lillysands. After everything she’d learnt from Eddie Lazell, it just made it all seem more real. The community was closing in, punishing her. But for what?

  When she reached the central tent, she spun round to look at each of the faces. People she had known since she was a girl. Tourists too. And then Veronica standing nearby, looking anxiously up at the skies; Lorraine, ordering people about in the distance; Peter patting a suited man on the back. Shop owners. The vicar. The couple who owned the gym.

  What were they hiding?

  She noticed Aiden in the distance, hammering something into the ground, face grim.

  She walked towards him. Her heart went out to him – he looked so miserable.

  ‘Hey,’ she said when she got close to him.

  He looked up, surprised.

  ‘I thought you said you were leaving,’ he said, examining her face. ‘You okay?’

  ‘I was just at Darren’s.’

  Aiden’s hands curled into fists. ‘What?’

  ‘Him and Alice had a thing.’

  ‘A thing?’ he said.

  ‘They dated.’

  Aiden’s face grew even angrier. ‘What the—’

  Estelle noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to see Mr Tate jogging towards them.

  ‘Been trying to find you,’ Mr Tate said to Aiden, leaning down to catch his breath. ‘Your dad’s in hospital. I was just there picking Mary up from an appointment and bumped into your mother. She pleaded with me to come tell you on the way back, she’s been trying to call you.’

  Estelle’s breath caught in her mouth.

  ‘Jesus. What happened?’ Aiden asked.

  ‘He was found on the beach last night,’ Mr Tate responded. ‘Hit his head pretty bad on some rock. Few bruises too. Said he got into a fight with some local kids and slipped over.’

  Aiden and Estelle exchanged a look.

  ‘He’ll be all right,’ Mr Tate said. ‘Your mum will be back from hospital soon. She said she’ll be at the house. I better go, Mary’s waiting in the car.’ He turned to Estelle, taking in her dishevelled appearance with concerned eyes. ‘You okay, Estelle?’

  ‘I don’t know, to be honest,’ she replied truthfully.

  ‘The trains are back up and running,’ Mr Tate said, putting his hand on her arm. ‘I really think it’s time you went home, got back into your normal routine.’

  He was right, but how could she now?

  Mr Tate sighed. ‘Well, take care, okay?’ Then he jogged back off down the beach towards his car.

  ‘I better call Mum,’ Aiden said. He got his phone out and dialled her number.

  ‘Mum, is Dad okay?’ Estelle overheard him say when he got through to Autumn. ‘Yeah, he just told me. What the hell happened?’ He listened to his mother then shook his head. ‘That’s ridiculous. What was he doing on the beach at that time of night anyway? What?’ His green eyes flared with anger. ‘Darren fucking Kemp. I’m going to kill him.’

  He snapped the phone shut then looked around, eyes scouring the beach.

  ‘What’s this about Darren?’ Estelle asked.

  ‘Mum said Dad was having dinner with Darren last night to discuss some business matters. Can’t be a coincidence, can it?’

  Fear tingled down Estelle’s spine. ‘Darren had a bruise above his eye.’

  ‘If he beat my dad up …’ He shook his head. ‘So help me God.’

  ‘But what motivation would he have?’

  ‘Dad convinced Darren to invest in the rental properties a few years back, told him he was renovating them, making them more attractive to people.’

  ‘Darren didn’t tell me that,’ Estelle said.

  ‘Why would he? It’s embarrassing, he’s lost a lot of money,’ Aiden said, and Estelle thought back to the conversation she’d had with Darren on the beach at Autumn’s party. He’d talked about the rental properties but not once mentioned his involvement. ‘Dad covered up about the landslides, didn’t he?’ Aiden continues. ‘Darren must be angry at him as it’s all falling apart around their ears now with them being empty so long.’

  Estelle thought of the fury of Darren’s face when he talked about Max. ‘I just can’t see Darren being handy with his fists though,’ she said.

  ‘I couldn’t see Darren and Alice together, but apparently they were!’

  As he said that, Darren appeared in the crowd with his parents. Estelle and Aiden ins
tinctively walked towards them. Veronica arched an eyebrow when she saw Estelle approaching. She was wearing a long summery dress that looked strange under the darkening skies, the pinpricks on her arms showing how cold she was in the morning breeze.

  ‘What a pleasure,’ Darren said sarcastically.

  ‘Were you with my dad last night?’ Aiden asked him, forgoing any platitudes.

  Veronica frowned.

  ‘Of course not,’ Darren said.

  Aiden crossed his arms, looking Darren up and down. ‘Where were you then?’

  Darren laughed. ‘Okay, PC Garland! I cancelled dinner with your dad because I had a better invitation from a particularly gorgeous clean brunette,’ he said, narrowing his eyes at Estelle. Estelle wrapped her arms around herself. Then realised she didn’t want to be made to feel like crap by someone like Darren, so she looked back at him defiantly.

  ‘Why are you asking where Darren was?’ Peter asked.

  ‘Dad’s in hospital,’ Aiden replied, his eyes still on Darren. ‘He was pretty badly beaten up last night.’

  Peter and Veronica exchanged a look.

  ‘You don’t look surprised,’ Estelle said. Then something occurred to her, turning her blood to ice. She looked up towards where Alice had jumped to her death – or was pushed. ‘Have you got a propensity for violence, Darren?’ she asked him. ‘Did you hurt Alice?’

  ‘This is ridiculous!’ Darren said, shaking his head.

  ‘Just answer the question,’ Aiden said.

  ‘Of course I bloody didn’t! This is fucking ridiculous. I’m not putting up with this.’

  He went to walk away but Aiden grabbed his wrist.

  ‘Did you fucking hurt Alice?’ he hissed into Darren’s face. ‘And did you hurt my dad?’

  Darren shoved Aiden away. ‘Of course I didn’t. You two have officially lost it!’

  Veronica’s brow creased slightly and Estelle saw something in her face that suggested she knew all about it.

  Veronica and Peter marched after their son. ‘Were you with Max last night, Darren?’ Estelle heard Veronica hiss at Darren.

  His cheeks flushed pink. ‘What? Of course not, Mum!’

  ‘Don’t lie to me!’ she whispered.

  The tension between them was palpable. What did Veronica know?