Since Forever Ago

by Olivia Besse

  “Riley?” Noah called out as he craned his neck to get a better look. “Is that you?”

  Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, Riley lamented to herself as Audrey reached forward and helped her to her feet. This is not happening right now. Please be hallucinating, please be hallucinating...

  Definitely not hallucinating, she silently groaned as the sound of another box clattering to the ground echoed in her ears. Fuck.

  Well, maybe he isn’t even talking to me. Yea, maybe there’s another Riley—

  “Riley,” Noah’s voice repeated from but a few feet away, causing the tiny hairs on the back of her neck to stand up in uneasiness. “Can we talk?”

  “Uh...”

  Riley stood frozen in that spot, her mouth slightly agape, as Noah entered her field of view. Like a true friend, Audrey stood behind him, waving her arms maniacally as she shook her head and mouthed the word, “no,” to her repeatedly. Sensing this, Noah quickly turned around to shoot Audrey a curious expression, though his ex-girlfriend’s animated roommate abruptly dropped her arms and returned his questioning gaze.

  “I need to talk to you,” Noah said, shaking his head slightly as he brought his attention back to Riley’s bewildered face. “Alone.”

  At this, Audrey let out a theatrical scoff before shooting Riley an expectant look, waiting for her dear friend to pipe up in her defense. Much to her disappointment, however, Riley shot her a hopeful smile in return, as if she were all but begging Audrey to give them some privacy. When Audrey firmly shook her head in refusal, the two began gesturing and glaring at each other in frustration until Noah awkwardly cleared his throat.

  “Audrey,” he began, turning to her with a tired frown. “Some privacy?”

  Directing one last judgmental glance in Riley’s direction, Audrey gave Noah a saccharine smile and turned on her heel, muttering phrases like “douche canoe” and “bag of shit” under her breath as she left to go sulk in the cereal aisle.

  “Noah, I—”

  “No,” he interrupted her, lightly grabbing her wrist as he did. “Just hear me out first.”

  Don’t listen to him! she urged herself. You know that you’ll never win once he starts talking! I swear, he must have mind control abilities or telepathic powers. Cover your fucking ears!

  “I know I was wrong, and you don’t know how sorry I am that I hurt you,” Noah said as he held her gaze for what seemed like hours. “But, I mean, it wasn’t completely my fault, you know. When people are saying things in your ear, it’s kind of hard not to listen...”

  Don’t give in, Benson. Whatever you do, stay strong!

  “I never realized what I had standing right in front of me,” he continued, moving his grip down from her wrist until he had lightly grabbed ahold of her hand within his own. “You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.”

  You’re strong! You’re fierce! You’re above petty compliments!

  “And I know that you might never forgive me, but I just want you to hear what I have to say,” Noah quietly added, shooting her a tiny smile that caused her entire esophagus to tighten up. “I think, after everything we’ve been through, I at least deserve that much, don’t you think?”

  Thirty-one

  “So, technically, I never texted him back,” Riley stated with a resolute nod as she dropped the shopping bag full of her overnight crap on the floor.

  “I can’t believe you’re back together with him,” Liz muttered, rolling her eyes in dismay.

  “Not back together,” Riley reminded her. “We’ve just agreed to see how things go. We’re approaching the situation like total adults! Taking it slow, you know?”

  “You’ve already packed up all of your shit to go spend the night at his place,” Liz reminded her in a bored tone. “You guys are back together.”

  “Well, what if we are? Is that such a crime?” Riley defensively blurted out. “I mean, is it really that terrible?”

  “Yes!” her friends cried out in unison.

  “Talk about unsupportive,” Riley grumbled under her breath.

  Liz let out a heavy sigh before shooting Riley a weak smile. “We just want what’s best for you. You know that.”

  “And how are you so sure that being with Noah’s not the best thing for me?”

  Neither of them even bothered to offer her a verbal response, opting instead to stare back at her with blank expressions on their faces.

  “What?”

  “I just don’t understand how you think this is going to work out well for you,” Liz sighed out. “What makes you think that any of this is even worth the trouble?”

  “Well, he was the love of my life!” Riley mumbled in response. “Maybe he still is! I don’t know!”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “What?”

  “Was he the love of your life?” Liz flatly replied. “Or the convenience of your life?”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Riley asked in annoyance.

  Liz gave off a tired laugh before leaning back in her seat. “Riley, you’re not sixteen anymore. Can you honestly say that your feelings for Noah are legit? Are you sticking with him because you honestly love him, or because everything’s familiar with him?”

  “How can you ask that?” Riley demanded with widened eyes. “Of course I love him!”

  “Really?” Liz squeaked back. “Because, truthfully, he’s kind of a dick.”

  “Not a fan,” Audrey agreed with a tiny nod.

  “So, yea, he’s a bit judgmental,” Riley acquiesced with a sigh. “And maybe he is a bit uptight. And moody.”

  “And condescending,” Liz added, just as Audrey chirped out, “And controlling!”

  “Anyway,” Riley began, shooting her friends tiny glares before continuing on. “He might be all of those things, but what if he’s the one I’m meant to be with?”

  “As decided by whom?” Liz asked with a snort of laughter. “The relationship gods? Cupid?”

  “The graham cracker avalanche?” Audrey sarcastically added.

  “I don’t know! By life!” Riley groaned out. “He was my first love. Is my first love! Doesn’t that mean something?”

  “Yea,” Liz said. “It just means that he was the first asshole to screw you over. The first of many to come, I’m sure.”

  “But what if I don’t want to meet any more assholes?” Riley mumbled, scrunching her nose up in distaste. “Maybe the best thing for me is to try and make this work. He did seem pretty sincere about getting back together. I’m sure he’s going to treat me better once we figure everything—”

  “No way,” Liz cut her off. “And how can you just start casually seeing him again as if nothing even happened? He cheated on you.”

  “He said that he’d forget about everything that happened between me and Max if I let go of what happened in the past,” Riley told them with a hint of a proud smile on her lips. “Isn’t that really mature of him?”

  “What?” Liz cried out in disbelief. “That’s a terrible trade-off. That’s not even a fair deal! How does the one instance of you starting a legitimate relationship with your best friend even compare to the fact that he slept with a bunch of strangers behind your back?”

  “Well, we both kind of agreed that what Max and I did might’ve actually been a little bit worse—”

  “Wow, he’s good,” Audrey whispered in awe. “Really good.”

  “Or she’s just really bad!” Liz uttered, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

  “Who’s good?” Riley asked, the corners of her lips turned downward into a puzzled frown.

  “Your little boyfriend,” Liz said in a flat tone. “I always knew he was a smooth talker, but this just goes to prove what an utter sociopath he is.”

  “A sociopath?” Riley repeated, wrinkling her nose at the accusation. “How is he a sociopath?”

  “He’s manipulating you, Riley,” Liz grunted out. “God, you don’t even notice it, do you?”

  “How’s he manipulating me?�
� Riley shrieked back. “I’m not being manipulated!”

  “You do realize that you’re just repeating everything that we’re saying and adding a ‘no’ to it, right?” Audrey pointed out to her. “You can’t even come up with one good reason as to why we’re wrong!”

  “But why are you guys saying all of this crap in the first place?” Riley whined in response.

  “Subtle hinting is obviously not going to work, so I’m just going to come out and say it,” Liz began. “This... whatever this is that you’re doing with Noah right now? It’s wrong.”

  Riley merely glared at the two of them with a sullen look on her face, not even bothering to defend herself before motioning for Liz to continue.

  “In fact, it’s the complete opposite of what you should be doing.”

  “And would you care to regale me with the reasoning behind your conclusion?” Riley sarcastically quipped.

  “Because he’s a dick,” Liz simply replied.

  “And you know that there’s something wrong with a guy if each of your closest friends disapproves of him,” Audrey added. “We’re just looking out for you.”

  “Well, you don’t have to!” Riley insisted, her throat choking up as she did. “This is it, you guys! You just don’t get it. You’ve only seen one side of Noah, but he and I know each other better than anyone else. We just get each other. He’s the one. I’m sure of it.”

  “What about Max?”

  “What about Max?” Riley groaned out. “He has his hands full! He couldn’t care less about me if he tried. Besides, that was just a fling! Me and Noah are the real deal.”

  “A fling?” Liz repeated in disbelief. “That was hardly a fling.”

  “Whatever! Anyway, he’s moved on, so I should too, don’t you think? And I know that the best thing for me is to try and make this work with Noah. I’m sure of it.”

  Liz let out a defeated sigh before sharing another look with Audrey. “Then as long as you’re sure...”

  “Completely sure,” Riley firmly replied, unsure of if she believed the words that were spilling out of her mouth so easily. “I’m positively, absolutely, 100% sure of it. Like, seriously, without a doubt. You really don’t have to worry about me. Noah and I are going to get our ‘happily ever after,’ just like how we planned since we were younger. It’s all going to turn out great. I just know it.”

  Thirty-two

  “No way,” Max blurted out, shaking his head in disgust.

  “Why!”

  “There’s no fucking way I’m doing that,” Max groaned in protest.

  “You said you’d do anything, bro.”

  “No,” Max firmly replied. “Kara said that I could do anything. I think she meant something more along the lines of getting Riley flowers or some shit.”

  “Fuck flowers!” Evan cried out. “I’m telling you, this will make her so fucking wet.”

  “From all of the tears of embarrassment running down her face?” Sam asked with a skeptical frown.

  “How is this not a brilliant idea?” Evan demanded. “I’m giving you pure gold here!”

  “By trying to emasculate me?” Max asked with an unimpressed look on his face.

  “Seriously,” Sam muttered under his breath.

  “Bro, you have to woo her,” Evan insisted, letting out a tired sigh.

  “Woo her?”

  “That’s all girls want,” Evan replied matter-of-factly. “To be wooed.”

  “How would my dressing up as some weird cartoon character make her feel... wooed?”

  “Not a cartoon character, you dumbass,” Evan said with a scoff. “Prince Charming.”

  “I don’t know, man,” Sam disagreed. “Seems pretty lame to me.”

  “Girls want to be swept off of their feet with extravagant gestures,” Evan explained with widened eyes. “They want to be wrapped up in some passionate, spectacular love story.”

  “Dude, you sound like a total pussy right now,” Jeremy commented from where he was sitting on the floor, pausing the violent video game that he and Sam were playing to shoot Evan a curious look. “Where’d you even hear that?”

  “Bro, I read it in Cosmo.”

  “Why the fuck were you reading a chick magazine?” Jeremy asked with a disgusted grimace.

  “It was the only thing in the bathroom at the Kappa house,” Evan replied defensively. “But that shit’s legit. It’s like a babe manual. We should totally get a subscription for the house.”

  “Anyway,” Max said with a slight shake of his head. “Forget it. I’m not dressing up in some cheesy costume.”

  “At least wear a tux, then,” Evan suggested halfheartedly.

  “Dude, yes,” Sam said as he let out an appreciative groan. “That shit would melt her panties off for sure.”

  “A tux?”

  “Girls love it when I wear tuxes,” Jeremy chimed in, nodding his head in agreement. “You can borrow mine if you want.”

  “So, what?” Max asked while scrunching his nose in distaste. “I just show up at her house in a tux? Then what?”

  “I don’t know,” Evan said with a shrug. “Sing her a song or some shit. Actually, you know what? Scratch the song. Just wear the fucking tux. That alone should take care of it.”

  “That’s it?” Max mumbled back. “Just show up in a suit and expect her to forgive me? That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.”

  “All of my dumb ideas have worked out for you so far, haven’t they?” Evan snottily replied. “Hm?”

  Why did I listen to him? Max wondered in his head a mere hour later as he parked his car in front of Riley’s apartment and shut off the engine. What am I even doing here? What if she’s still pissed? What if she refuses to talk to me? What if she won’t even open the door again?

  Then you’ll just be the pathetic loser standing around on someone’s lawn in your frat brother’s too-tight tuxedo, he silently groaned. I bet her neighbors will call the cops.

  Well, congratulations, Fletcher. You’ve hit rock bottom, he glumly mused as he pushed open his car door. But that means that there’s nowhere to go but up, right?

  Just be confident, he instructed himself before knocking firmly on her front door. Look her in the eye, demand her attention and tell her what you need to say. Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, and make sure to—

  Oh, who am I kidding? Abort mission, dude! Hurry the fuck up and hide! he panicked, abruptly turning on his heel and looking for a nearby bush behind which to jump. A tuxedo? A fucking TUXEDO? What the hell were you thinking? I can’t believe you let Evan talk you into—

  “M... Max?”

  Agh.

  “Is that you?”

  Max let out a shaky breath before slowly turning around to face a bewildered Riley. “Hey,” he greeted her, his voice cracking as he did.

  Aggggggggh.

  “What... what are you doing here?” she asked, eyeing his outfit in curiosity.

  “I was just in the neighborhood...”

  Doing what, you idiot?

  “Oh, um, I see.”

  “Yup.”

  “You look nice,” she awkwardly commented. “Are you headed somewhere?”

  “Yea,” he immediately replied. “To a... a fancy place. That requires a tux. Because that’s what I’m wearing. A tux.”

  What. The. Fuck.

  “Oh,” Riley said, fighting back a smirk. “Cool.”

  “I lied.”

  What.

  “Huh?”

  “I... I’m not going to a fancy place,” Max choked out.

  Oh God.

  “Oh, okay,” Riley cautiously replied. “So... what’s with the tux?”

  “I wore it to come see you.”

  Stop talking. NOW.

  “To see me?”

  “I wanted to clear the air with you,” he blurted out. “Just hash it all out. It feels weird not talking to you.”

  “No, I understand,” Riley said with a tiny nod of her head. “But... why the tux?”

  I ha
te you, Evan.

  “So, anyway,” Max began, blatantly ignoring her question as he nervously bit his lower lip. “I wanted you to hear my side of the story. Not that an explanation would make what I did any less terrible, but I just thought that you should know what was going through my head when I said that to stuff to Noah.”

  “Okay,” Riley replied in a confused voice. “But why?”

  “What do you mean ‘why’?”

  “I mean, what’s the point? Aren’t you seeing that girl again?” Riley couldn’t help but ask. “April or what’s-her-face?”

  “What?” Max cried out. “No! Why would you even ask that?”

  “I... I saw you two at the library together,” Riley mumbled. “And I heard a rumor that you two—”

  “No way,” Max reassured her. “Never.”

  “But—”

  “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because you thought that I was actually seeing her again?”

  “No,” Riley replied with a frown. “Or yes. Or kind of. Maybe?”

  “I would never start things up with her again,” Max told her. “You know that, right?”

  “I don’t know,” Riley replied, her brow furrowed in confusion. “I mean, how was I supposed to know that?”

  “You could have just asked me yourself,” Max reminded her. “Wasn’t that the whole point of making up all of those rules?”

  “So you’re not with her?” Riley asked, an uneasy look on her face.

  “No, I’m not,” Max said, fighting back the urge to grin in relief. “I’m definitely not.”

  So this was all just a misunderstanding! All we need to do is talk it out and make up, he told himself as his heart began to beat a little bit faster. Everything’s going to be okay.

  “Anyway, back to what I wanted to tell you,” he said with a slight shake of his head. “About the shit that went down with Noah.”

  “Yea?” Riley prodded in a tiny voice, looking up at him expectantly.

  “I know what I did was wrong,” he blurted out, avoiding her gaze as he felt his cheeks grow warm. “I mean, of course it was wrong. It was terrible. You have to know that the last thing I’d ever want is for you to get hurt.”