by Anna Samuels
‘I’d love to hear more about you,’ I replied, ‘and yes, any advice along that vein would be very much appreciated.’
She smiled at me. ‘Okay. Well, where do I start?’
‘From the beginning.’
‘Okay. I was born in Devon, as I told you. When I was a baby, my parents had this place built using inheritance from my grandparents who were quite wealthy. My childhood was happy and spent within these grounds, exploring and helping with everything. By my early teenage years, I was a pro! I was pretty much running the place-or so my cocky mind thought!’ she laughed.
‘Were you a cocky teenager?’ I asked, smiling at the thought.
‘I was the worst!’ she said, grinning from ear to ear. ‘I believed I knew everything and that my way was best.’
‘Sounds familiar…my daughter has her moments like that,’ I said, smiling.
‘Well, I was overly confident in some ways and when I took knocks, it hit me hard.’
‘What kind of knocks?’
‘Well, similar to yours, actually. Love and romance haven’t always been easy in my life,’ she said softly, her eyes taking on a sad expression.
‘What’s your love history then?’ I wondered.
She sighed. ‘Being part of this park was great early on. In my teens I realised I was gay and as we had so many guests, I would meet various girls and women along the way-especially in the summer months when we were busy. I was a cocky, flirty, out and proud lesbian in the early days and I thought that nothing could touch me. I had lots of girlfriends before I met someone special and when I fell in love, I wasn’t prepared for the fall-out.’
‘What was the fall-out?’ I questioned, frowning at her melancholy expression.
‘It didn’t happen for several years…’
‘Hang on, go back…this is too cryptic for me at this time of night.’
She sighed, heavily. ‘I met this woman called Rachel,’ she began. ‘From the first time I saw her by the side of the pool that summer, I knew I was destined to be with her.’
‘What happened?’ I asked, leaning forwards.
‘Well, I approached her and we became friends quickly. That progressed into more than friends and we spent the summer as lovers while she stayed here with family.’
‘How romantic.’
‘It was at the time…’
‘So what happened?’ I questioned.
Alex dropped her gaze. ‘She promised she would stay in touch when she went home and visit every other weekend. Her home town was only forty minutes away…’
‘She didn’t keep her promise?’
‘No…after she was gone, it was over. I was heartbroken, especially when I heard that she had gone on to have a boyfriend and was engaged. I felt inferior in some way-like I wasn’t quite good enough.’
‘Ah, Alex!’
‘It’s fine…this was a long time ago. My next relationship was worse!’
‘Oh no! There’s another heartbreak in your love life?’
‘Yeah, there most certainly is,’ she told me.
‘Where did you meet this woman?’
‘I met her at a bar in town,’ she said, reminiscing. ‘We got on fantastically and she was full of life-bubbly and fun to be around. We went on dates and eventually moved in together after three months. She didn’t like how much I worked though and found it frustrating when I had to be away from her.’
‘Surely she knew what you did before she moved in though?’ I asked.
‘Well, yes, but she said that she thought things would change once she was living with me. She gradually gave up her job as an estate agent and people began to say to me that she was using me. I wouldn’t have it though and the relationship continued for two long years.’
‘Why do you say ‘long years?’ I wondered.
‘Because we argued like cat and dog, Cassie. It wasn’t an easy relationship by any stretch of the imagination.’
‘Why did you stay with her then?’
‘Because I thought I loved her. I was lonely, Cassie, and even though I knew it wasn’t working between us, I wanted to have someone rather than no-one.’
‘That’s understandable. Everyone needs companionship.’
‘Yeah,’ Alex sighed. ‘I suppose that’s why you’re a little unsettled now. You’ve been used to having people around the house for company. Now you’re looking at being alone.’
I nodded. ‘You’re right. That’s why I didn’t want to go directly home after dropping Ava off,’ I replied, watching her with interest. When she said nothing, I continued with my curiosity about her love life. ‘So, is that the end of your romance history to date?’ I questioned.
‘Yeah. That was over five years ago and since then, I’ve lived like a nun,’ she chuckled.
‘Oh really? How come?’
She looked downwards. ‘I’d like to say because I just haven’t met anyone but I think I didn’t want to risk getting involved with anyone after how it ended with Zoe.’
‘How did it end?’ I asked, realising she hadn’t explained how the story actually ended.
‘She cheated on me.’
‘No!’ I exclaimed. Why would anyone ever cheat on a woman like Alex, I thought to myself? She seemed like such a wonderful woman that I just couldn’t imagine it.
‘Yeah,’ she sighed. ‘She had been carrying on an affair for years apparently…it was with a woman in town.’
‘Someone you knew?’ I questioned.
‘No, fortunately. But it hurt me badly.’
‘Of course it did!’ I replied, shocked at her ex-girlfriend’s actions.
‘She told me I was boring and if I hadn’t had such a lovely house, she would have been gone a long time before. She didn’t love me, Cassie. She was using me-just like close friends had warned me.’
‘Oh, that’s awful.’
‘Yeah…so since then, let’s just say I’ve been a little more cautious in many regards.’
‘I can imagine it’s completely life-changing to be treated that way. I know how I felt once I knew my ex was with other women. I lost all respect for him and knew he would never be allowed near me again…not that I was anyway…’ I murmured, trailing off into thought.
‘Yeah, how was that then?’ Alex asked next.
‘What?’
‘The sex,’ she said bluntly. ‘I mean, it sounds like it was an unhappy marriage-and if your romantic feelings lay elsewhere, it must have been difficult to keep up the façade-especially in bed.’
I looked down, feeling ashamed. ‘I…we…’ I didn’t know how to explain what our life together had been like. Once again, my cheeks felt on fire.
‘It wasn’t good?’
‘It wasn’t anything,’ I said, bleakly, grimacing with the memory. ‘Early on, I knew nothing anyway. I had nothing to compare it to so I just accepted how it was. As I matured, I realised I was getting nothing from our sexual relationship and from that point on, became less and less willing to participate. We eventually fell into sleeping separately as well. I just didn’t want to be near him.’
‘And what was his take on all of this?’ she wondered.
‘He told me many times that I was to blame for our sexual relationship being rubbish,’ I said quietly. ‘Apparently I’m frigid, a prude and unresponsive.’
She gaped at me. ‘The bastard…’
‘This was all years ago, Alex. I’ve long-since gotten over it.’
‘And since then, have you had any other relationships with men…or women for that matter?’ she asked.
I shook my head. ‘No. I haven’t. I’ve dedicated myself to bringing up and caring for my children. I told myself that my time would come later. I would experience everything I’ve missed at a later date.’
‘And that would be now?’
‘I guess so,’ I replied.
‘So, if you’ve never met anyone else, your only experience of sex is with your crappy ex-husband?’
‘Yeah,’ I sighed. ‘Pretty rubbish, right?
’
‘Yes!’ she exclaimed passionately. ‘You’re missing out, Cassie! There’s so much you need to do now!’ she laughed.
I felt my cheeks grow pink at the idea of sexual contact with a woman…with the possibility of getting close to Alex. I knew now I was intensely attracted to her and yet had no intention to do anything about it.
‘What would you do if you could?’ she enquired.
‘I…what do you mean?’ I replied, stalling my answer.
‘So, you said things were always crappy. What was it missing?’
‘Uh, foreplay…you know, simple things like kissing. I would have liked to spend more time with that I suppose first…’
‘Kissing should never be called simple, Cassie. I think kissing is one of absolute best, most intimate things you can do. I could spend hours kissing and touching,’ she said, dreamily.
I found myself dropping my gaze to her mouth, without being able to stop myself. Her lips were full, rosy and inviting and I began to imagine kissing Alex. My body heated in response and I felt a tingling inside which was new to me.
‘How about we try it?’ she suggested, her lips curving in a suggestive way.
I felt my mouth drop in surprise. ‘Try what?’ I asked, alarmed.
‘Kissing,’ she said happily.
I felt my stomach drop and my tension build. Kissing? Was she serious? I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak. Nothing came out but a small sound of alarm.
She chucked, happily. ‘No?’
‘I…’ I couldn’t speak.
‘It’s just a kiss, Cassie. Any maybe it would be good for you.’
‘How?’ I questioned, frowning in confusion.
‘Well, you’ve said yourself that you’re lacking in experience. Here we are! I’m free and single-and most importantly, a woman! Try it out! Who knows? You might just like it.’
That was exactly what I was afraid of. Something told me that if I kissed Alex, there would be no turning back for me ever again. ‘I…’
‘Stop thinking, Cassie,’ Alex said, silkily. Without asking again, she eased herself down the sofa closer towards me.
Chapter 8
‘There’s really nothing to be nervous about,’ she said, as her knees brushed mine and her eyes dropped to my mouth.
She was suddenly close in proximity to me and I felt my breath hitch in my throat. My cheeks burned with embarrassment and I could feel my heart hammering in my chest.
‘I’ve been wanting to do this since the first moment our eyes met,’ Alex told me softly, her eyes on mine-intent in their admiration.
‘I…I don’t know,’ I said, moving back a little. Abruptly, I stood, turning away from Alex and the situation I had found myself in unexpectedly. I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t feel ready for it. ‘I’m sorry, Alex,’ I said, walking towards the door.
I was in midstride when Alex caught up with me. Grabbing my hand, she whirled me around and tugged me towards her. Without warning, her head swooped downwards and her mouth captured mine in a hot, fiery kiss. My head swirled with desire immediately and I could do nothing but respond to her passionate demands. I opened my mouth to hers and stretched upwards against her body to press against her. She felt deliciously warm and strong, her athletic body flush with mine.
As Alex groaned, I knew I was lost completely. Her lips were cleverly moving against mine, soft and lingering. Her kiss was gentle and yet passionate, warm and erotic. I had never been kissed so thoroughly before and it was life changing. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t react…all I could do was feel.
Tearing her mouth from mine, Alex looked down at me with startled, stormy eyes. Her expression was intense and I could tell that she was as thrown by my reaction as she was. Our breath was coming fast and hard as we stared at each other, both saying nothing at all. Without talking, she took my hand and pulled me towards her, backing to the sofa.
When she reached the soft cushions, she sat down, pulling me onto her lap. Immediately her hand came to cup my neck and pull me down against her. I let her ease her mouth onto mine and opened my lips to move against hers. She kissed me slowly this time, taking her time to draw out the pleasure. I almost sighed with the sheer pleasure of her kiss. She was so wonderfully talented with her mouth.
Easing me over, we were all of a sudden in a reclined position. Alex moved on top of me so she could take control of the situation. Resigned to the incredible emotions she was evoking in me, I gave myself up to her kiss and relaxed.
Alex’s mouth lingered, teased and moved against mine. Her tongue was soft and pliant, stroking against mine again and again and arousing me beyond belief. As her mouth worked against mine, her free hand eased down my side making me tingle with desire. I had never felt like this before and especially never felt this kind of arousal and passion.
‘Oh God, Cassie,’ Alex groaned, raising her head and looking down at me with hazy eyes.
My eyes flickered open slowly, blinking in confusion.
‘I don’t want to stop,’ she said softly, trailing her hand down to my breast and cupping me gently.
I felt my body responding to her touch. ‘I don’t want you to stop,’ I groaned, moving against her restlessly.
Alex wrinkled her face up and groaned again. ‘But I don’t want you to regret anything…’ she said, looking torn.
‘Alex?’
‘Yes?’
‘Just kiss me…’
Her eyes dropped to my waiting mouth and once again she bent and captured my mouth with hers. She was hungry for me, I could tell. Her mouth moved with passion and the chemistry arced in the air all around us. I heard a sound and realised I had moaned at the sheer pleasure she was making me feel. I had always found kissing to be almost a chore with my ex. It had been sloppy and uninspiring but with Alex, I had found a whole, new world of feeling.
I kissed Alex back as keenly as she kissed me. I felt myself moving restlessly beneath her; wanting more but not knowing how to ask or tell her.
‘Oh my God, you’re incredible,’ Alex moaned, lifting her head a little and trailing butterfly kisses across my face.
‘I…I…’ I couldn’t put into words what I was feeling when I was in Alex’s arms. And before I could try, her next movements shocked me into stunned silence. Moving her hand down my stomach, she eased her hand into my jeans. Her soft palm slipped under my panties and into my soft folds. I was too surprised to do anything but react and when she found my wet response, she leant to kiss me passionately.
I moaned and arched against Alex wantonly as she touched me intimately. Her fingers knew exactly how to excite me and it felt absolutely blissful. I was feeling close to heavenly when Alex pulled back and released my mouth. She moved downwards and started pulling at my jeans.
‘What are you doing?’ I asked, startled.
‘What do you think I’m doing?’ she chuckled, continuing to remove my clothing.
‘Alex, I…I don’t know…’ I trailed off, unsure and feeling almost scared at the thought of what she was about to do.
‘This is the best bit, honey,’ she said, silkily, parting my legs and easing down between them.
I felt my crimson cheeks glowing as she bent her head. Tension filled my body but I seemed powerless to resist her ministrations.
The first touch of her tongue to my clitoris sent shockwaves rushing through me. I cried out in pleasure and arched against her mouth. Alex used her tongue, lips and mouth to lick, suckle and kiss my wet folds. I found myself gasping with delirium, unable to stop the frantic waves of bliss which were threatening to overspill. In seconds, I came with a cry of delight. My body bucked and heaved underneath her as the rolling orgasmic bliss took hold of me.
Gradually, as the feelings dissipated, I sank back against the sofa, breathing heavily. My whole body felt on fire and the pulsing of my sex reminded me of her expert attention towards me.
‘Oh my God,’ I groaned, lifting a hand to my face.
Alex moved upwards,
shifting to my side to lie next to me. ‘Nice?’
‘That would be an understatement,’ I said, turning to look at her. I felt shyness at the intimacy we had just shared but also a sense of pride and openness now that I had expanded my horizons.
‘I take it you didn’t have that done to you much?’ she asked with a smile.
‘Try never,’ I replied quietly.
Alex’s mouth dropped. ‘Never?’
‘Not once,’ I told her.
‘Well…oh my, I have so many questions but for now-how was it?’
‘You can’t tell?’ I questioned, feeling my cheeks heat once again.
‘Well, I know you came…but how did it feel?’
‘It felt…absolutely incredible,’ I revealed. ‘It felt insanely intimate and just so…intense,’ I decided.
‘It is,’ she smiled. ‘Simply the best thing ever. I love it.’
I held her eyes and swallowed involuntarily before taking a deep breath. ‘Shall I…’ I began, indicating her with my hand.
‘Oh, Cassie, you don’t have to do that! I’m fine, this is new to you.’
‘But…I think I want to,’ I replied, embarrassed but determined now to try this.
‘You do?’
‘Yeah…I mean, if I could do with some pointers if I’m honest but I’d like to try and make you feel how you just made me feel.’
Her smile made me melt. ‘Well, if you’re sure…and you don’t need my guidance. You just do what you know feels nice when it’s done to you.’
My gaze lowered to her mouth and I leaned in to kiss her softly. She sighed against my lips and our mouths moved together. With her soft voice guiding me and encouraging me, I moved lower to explore her body.
The constant ringing of the phone became too insistent to ignore. Alex moved reluctantly, and with a groan, got up off the sofa to get her phone.
‘Hello? Alex Hunter?’ she answered, glancing back at me.
As I listened, I moved to a sitting position and eased on my clothes. I could tell she was about to be called away once more and I was ready to go and get some sleep.