Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “Aren’t you?” I interrupted. I couldn’t stomach more of her lies. “You didn’t purposely come down here looking like death to play your part of remorse perfectly? Or are you telling me you’re not the daughter of Coraline Dare? She’s the damn queen of sympathy-seeking and we already know you’re the daughter of Jonathan Dare.”

  Her eyes rimmed with new tears, but she swiped at them angrily before they could fall free. I turned away because if I let her pain soften me, my anger would die out and right now I wanted to hurt her. I wanted her to feel embarrassed and humiliated the way Araya felt when the people who were supposed to care about her tried to sell her.

  “I deserve that,” she said quietly.

  “No, you deserve worse! But you’ll do that part on your own. How could you do that to her, Careless? Or better question, why did you do it? She thought you were her friend. You were supposed to be her friend! Was all of it fake? At what point did you turn on Araya?”

  “No, it wasn’t all fake! She’s my friend… or was. I screwed up, Ryland. I know that, and if I could take it all back, I would. I promise I’ll make it right. Araya and I can be—”

  “No! You stay away from her. I think you’ve done enough damage. She’s a good person, Careless. She doesn’t need to be tainted by people like you.”

  Her face turned red and she crossed her arms. “You can’t tell her who she can and can’t talk to, Ryland. You’re not her warden.”

  “No, I can’t, but I can tell you to leave her alone. Just stay away, Careless.” I pointed at her and took a step toward my car. “Actually, do us both a favor and stay away from me too.”

  “That’s not fair, Ryland Dare!” she yelled.

  I stopped and glared at her. “Fair? You really want to go there? We’ve been shit on our entire life”—I raised my arm toward the house behind us—”by the two people who should have given a damn the most, Careless! You know what it’s like, so why would you do that to Araya? Of all people, why her? You know what she’s been through. You don’t get to talk about fair.” I narrowed my eyes at her.

  She took a deep breath. “I get that you’re mad. What I did to Araya was fucked up. I know that, believe me. But Araya’s the only one who has the right to tell me to stay out of her life. Not you, and you can’t shut me out forever. You’re my brother and no matter how angry you are with me, that will never change! So you can be mad at me now, but you can’t hate me forever.”

  “You used me in your sick, twisted game, Careless, and you tried to get Araya pregnant. Remind me again why I don’t get to hate you forever?”

  “No!” She shook her head fiercely. “I knew you wouldn’t get her pregnant,” she insisted.

  I stared at her like she’d lost her mind. “Well, that changes everything, then! As long as you knew I wouldn’t get her pregnant all is forgiven and forgotten,” I snapped sarcastically.

  “Don’t be an ass, Ryland.”

  “The fact that you continually want me to show you any kind of kindness is laughable. All I want to know is how this got started and why you did it.”

  She swallowed and sucked in a deep breath. “Nina approached me. She didn’t know, but her timing was perfect. I’d just gotten into it with J.D. because he was trying to deny my college tuition. He didn’t want me to go to art school, and if I wanted his money, I had to go to the college of his choice.”

  I frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She shrugged, holding up her hands helplessly. “What would you have done? I know you want to protect me, Ryland, but at some point I have to do it on my own.”

  “Well, you don’t have that anymore. Don’t worry.”

  “She told me what her plan was and said she would give me a cut. She said her niece had already met you and all I needed to do was sit with Araya for a few hours a day while you two got close. I was so angry with him, Ryland. I couldn’t see past my own hatred, and I told her I would help.”

  I’d kept hold on the hope that all of this was a really bad nightmare and I would wake up any minute. But hearing Careless’s confession made it real, and my anger doubled.

  “I don’t understand why you were so set against Araya and me in the beginning. It doesn’t make sense…” I stopped when the truth set in. “It was all an act, wasn’t it? You never wanted me to leave her alone. You really had me fooled with all that ‘she’s off limits’ business. You knew baiting me would get me to go after her more. You were setting me up, you b—” I growled and went toward her, my fists clenched at my side, because all I really wanted to do was strangle her.

  “Ryland!” she cried, putting her hands out, and I stopped.

  “God, Careless!” I ran a hand through my hair and spun around. “You manipulated me and you didn’t even bat your damn eyelashes. You’re just like him. Did you not see that when you got involved in this?”

  She could no longer hold them in and tears spilled down her cheeks. As much as I wanted to hate her right now, my heart ached for my little sister. I hadn’t been able to save her from the monster that was our father. Cara had to take responsibility for what she did, but so did our parents.

  “I tried so hard to keep you from becoming a spitting image of J.D., but despite my efforts, you did anyway.

  “Ryland, I’m so sorry.” She sobbed, and her words tripped over themselves. She took a step toward me, reaching for me, but I stepped beyond her grasp.

  “You’ll have to live with what you did, Careless. What you did to Araya. I’m done with you and I’m done with them.

  “Ryland, please, I’m sorry! I never expected you to fall in love with someone like—” She stopped and looked up at me.

  I glared at her. “Go on, finish. What you were going to say?” I dared her.

  She shook her head helplessly.

  “Finish!” I roared, and she jumped.

  “I didn’t expect you to fall in love with Araya!”

  “That’s not what you were going to say. Why couldn’t I love someone like her? Because she’s blind?” I snarled.

  “Come on, Ryland! That’s not who we are. We don’t fall in love, no matter who it is. We’re Dares,” she spat defensively.

  I shook my head violently. “No! Don’t compare me to them. To you.”

  “Why not? It’s true! I’ve watched you use more than your share of girls over the last few years, with no regards for their feelings.”

  “I was always honest and up front with them. I never lied to them. They knew what I offered, and if they didn’t want that, they were free to walk away. Is that really how low you think of me? That I’m too shallow to fall in love with someone like Araya and I use everyone else?”

  “And you think any better of me? You and Sebastian deemed me Careless,” she hissed, using hand quotes, “a long time ago, Ryland. Don’t act like you’ve always been a victim.”

  “Yes I went along with it. At the time, I thought it was an act of yours. We didn’t exactly grow up in the most stable environment and I figured you were acting out. I thought I could protect you from them. I tried like hell, but it’s obvious I didn’t. Deep down I knew you weren’t actually careless, but the joke’s on me, right? I was wrong. You are careless and now we can add heartless to that too.”

  Her face paled and she wiped at the tears still falling. “That’s a shitty thing to say, Ryland. You know I’m not like them! You know that!

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Careless.” Her nickname tasted like acid as it took on a whole new meaning. “You’re exactly like them. You wanted to hurt him even though you knew he wasn’t worth it.”

  “I made a mistake. I was trying to hurt him, not you and certainly not Araya.”

  “It’s not that you weren’t trying; you just didn’t expect to get caught. You thought I would sleep with her, maybe get her pregnant, and then toss her aside. Nina would blackmail J.D. and no one would ever know you were involved, right?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t care,” I said simply. �
�I didn’t plan on falling in love with Araya, but I did, and because of you, all of that could have been lost. You brought her here for your own cruel vendetta with zero regard to the consequences.”

  “Tell me how I can make this right,” she pleaded.

  “You can’t make this right. You went too far.” I turned away from her and opened the car door. I stopped before getting in and turned to look at her. “Congratulations. You’ve become just like the very people you despise.”

  Araya

  Thirty-Four

  The sound of my name being echoed throughout the small room woke me the next morning.

  “Araya! Get up, NOW!”

  I frowned and blinked rapidly until a blurriness of darkness came into view. I pushed myself up on my elbows and turned toward the room.

  “Nina?” My voice was hoarse from sleep that still rested in my vocal cords.

  “Of course! Who else would it be? Get up, now!” she ordered again.

  I sat up completely, feeling alarmed now. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

  “You’re leaving,” she said simply.

  She was moving around the room and I realized the clatter she was making was the sound of my dresser drawers being opened and slammed shut. Her fuzzy shadow was a blur as she moved about. And then what she just said finally sank in.

  “What do you mean I’m leaving?” I panicked.

  “This isn’t working for either of us and I don’t want you anymore. It’s time for you to go be someone else’s burden.”

  A shiver of fear ran down my spine and my first thought was Ryland. She was going to ship me off and I wasn’t even going to get to say good-bye. I held back the tears long enough to get more information.

  “Where am I going?” My voice trembled.

  “Don’t act like you’re upset, Araya.”

  Panic and fear and anger were mixing in my system now.

  “Where am I going?” I repeated more firmly this time.

  It was enough to make her pause.

  “I’ve made arrangements for you to go to a special school for the blind.”

  I swallowed the urge to throw up. “What? When?”

  “Today. Tonight, actually. They’re bringing a bus by to pick you up this evening. So I need you to get up and get ready.”

  None of what she was saying made sense and I was trying not to lose it. I needed to get to Ryland or at least talk to him, but I didn’t know how.

  “Are you listening to me, Araya?” Nina demanded, slamming the lid to the suitcase. “You need to get up now. I want the rest of your stuff packed before you leave.”

  I wanted to tell her there was nothing else. Everything I owned fit into the one dresser and she’d just packed it up into one suitcase. But if I told her that, she might try and have me picked up now, and I needed more time.

  “No!” I blurted the first thing I thought of and looked up at her shadow.

  “What?” she hissed.

  “No! I’m not leaving.”

  “The hell you’re not!” she spat and stomped over to me and grabbed my arm. “This isn’t up for negotiation.”

  I tried not to wince or cry out when her fingernails bit into the sensitive flesh of my arm. She pulled me roughly from the bed and threw me into the table. I couldn’t control the sound of pain that slipped when my hip knocked into the table.

  “You have an hour to get your stuff together or so help me, Araya…” she threatened.

  I turned on her with all the hatred I felt for her shimmering in my glare.

  “You’ll do what? What more can you possibly do to me that you haven’t already? You’ve punished me for the last four years for reminding you of my mother. You made sure I couldn’t do anything for myself by locking me in this house, and you tried to get me pregnant and sell me to a man who makes the devil look like a saint. So tell me, Nina, what exactly are you going to do?”

  She didn’t answer me and when she finally spoke, she completely ignored my question.

  “You’re leaving whether your stuff is ready or not. Pack it or leave it. I don’t care. When the bus to Madison comes at eight, you’ll be on it.”

  My head snapped back at her words. “What did you just say?”

  “I don’t have time for your games, Araya—”

  “Just tell me what you said. The bus to…?” I waited, but I knew what she’d said the first time.

  “Madison Academy.”

  I felt like I was going to throw up and I fell back a step, one hand gripping the table and the other flat against my stomach.

  “How much did he offer you?” I demanded.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “How much did that man offer you? And you can skip the part where you pretend like you have no idea who I’m talking about. How much, Nina?”

  “Eight hundred thousand to have you gone by tonight. It’s all done and arranged for, Araya. There’s no point in fighting it. You’ll be gone before that boy even knows you’ve left.”

  “You disgust me!” I spat. I couldn’t control the rage any longer. “You weren’t mad at my mother because she was so perfect. You were angry with her because she reminded you just how revolting of a person you are. Every day she made you face the fact that no one would ever love a person like you and no one has. You’re pathetic!” I screamed.

  Her hand cracked across my face so hard my ears rang. The pain of the blow stung my cheek and radiated through my jaw. I touched my cheek, but that hurt too. I glared at her, refusing to let her see I was in any pain.

  Her shadow was gone and she stomped toward the door, throwing it open.

  “You will never see Ryland again, do you hear me? I may spend the rest of my life alone and unloved, but my dear niece, so will you.”

  She slammed the door and I collapsed toward the bed, trembling. My cheek was on fire and my head started to pound. I didn’t want to cry, but I could feel the tears coming. She was right; I was never going to see Ryland again.

  I sat there holding myself and rocking myself for nearly twenty minutes before I remembered the cell phone Ryland had left for me. I was like a mad woman as I pulled the blankets and sheets from my bed, looking for the phone.

  My fingers searched along the mattress until I found it and I pressed the button on the side. I waited a second until I saw the faint light turn on. My voice was trembling so badly that it took three tries and one deep breath for the stupid thing to register my command.

  Finally it announced it was calling Ryland and I put the phone to my ear, waiting. It rang so many times that I started to think he wasn’t going to answer and tears soaked my cheeks.

  “Hello?” a rough voice rasped into the phone and I nearly fainted from relief.

  “Ryland!” I cried. “Ryland, please, you have to come get me!”

  The other end was silent and I thought maybe the line had gotten disconnected, and then I heard his voice.

  “Araya?”

  “Yes!” I said, trying not to dwell on the fact that he needed to ask.

  “This is Sebastian. Ryland isn’t here.”

  It made sense now, but I still didn’t have time.

  “Is there any way to get ahold of him?” I tried not to sound annoyed.

  “No. He had to go to the school and he left his phone. Are you okay?”

  “No. Nina’s sending me away. Your—J.D. paid her off to send me away without Ryland knowing. She doesn’t know I have this phone. Do you know when he’ll be back?”

  “He didn’t say.”

  I wanted to cry and scream, but all I could think about was that I wouldn’t get to say good-bye to Ryland, but at least he would know I didn’t leave him.

  “When he comes back, can you tell him what happened and tell him that I love him? Please, can you do that for me?”

  He went quiet again. “Where do you live?”

  “What?”

  “Where do you live? I’ll come get you.”

  After thanking him profusely, I gav
e him my address.

  “I know where this is. Can you be ready in ten minutes?”

  “I can be ready in five,” I countered. “I can meet you downstairs. I only have one suitcase.”

  “What’s the apartment number? I’ll come up”

  I felt like I should argue, but there was no time so I gave him the apartment number and hung up with him. I’d never gotten ready so fast in my life and within five minutes, I was waiting on Sebastian with the front door open. Time had never felt so slow in those last five minutes and when I heard his heavy footfalls, I was relieved.

  “I’m all ready.” I rushed, moving to pick up my suitcase by my leg.

  Sebastian was pulling it before I could even lift it off the ground, and I smiled, looking up at him. I pushed my hair out of my face and took a needed breath. I just wanted to get out of here already.

  “What the hell?” he growled and there was a loud thud.

  His fingers wrapped around my chin and he lifted my face up, turning it to the side. I’d completely forgotten about my face and the welt I was sure was making an appearance.

  “What the hell happened to you?” he asked roughly and his thumb swept across my swollen cheekbone. His touch was soft and gentle but I winced and he dropped his fingers, freeing my chin.

  “I’m fine.” I reached for the suitcase he’d abandoned, but he pulled it from my fingers.

  “You don’t look fine.”

  “I don’t know when Nina will be back,” I said, pleading with him to go.

  “I wouldn’t mind sticking around,” he argued.

  “Please, Sebastian.”

  He made a noise of disgust. “Let’s go.”

  We got halfway down the hall before I came to a sudden halt. “Wait!”

  I turned and rushed back toward the door, feeling against the wall until I found it. I hadn’t locked it so I pushed it open.

  “What’s wrong?” Sebastian said in the doorway.

  “I forgot my necklace.”

  I’d hidden the necklace that Ryland gave me so Nina wouldn’t see it and take it from me. I pulled open the second drawer to my dresser and felt under it until my fingers found where I’d taped it.