Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  Luke laughed and put his arm around me. “Come on; let’s head back to the gang. They’re probably starting rumors about us.”

  12

  Luke

  As we walked back to the part of the beach where everyone had been playing volleyball, I couldn’t stop thinking about holding Lily. It felt right, and it scared me to think of us being more than just friends. My feelings were growing for her, and holding her the way I did to comfort her, intensified those feelings. Her warm skin against mine felt incredible, and it stirred up emotions that I haven’t had in a long time. We reached our friends as the volleyball game was ending; I saw Sam walk over to Gretchen and kiss her on the lips.

  “Break it up, you two, or go get a room.” I smiled.

  “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Mr. Matthews and Miss Gilmore. Where did the two of you go off to?” Sam asked with a smirk on his face.

  “I showed Lily the cove. She wanted to take some pictures,” I replied.

  Sam gave me a strange look, and I knew why; he was surprised because that cove was where I practically lived after the accident. I shrugged my shoulders and walked away. It felt right taking Lily there. I wanted her to get some great pictures.

  “Let’s cook some lunch!” I yelled to everyone.

  I started the grill, and Sam got out the hot dogs and hamburgers. I put them on and stood there, watching them cook.

  “I’m proud of you, man,” Sam said.

  “No big deal, bro. Leave it alone.”

  He patted me on the back and smiled; then Lucky came walking over and stood next to me while I grilled the food.

  “Dude, don’t forget about our gig tonight.”

  “I haven’t forgotten.”

  “What gig?” Lily asked as she walked up.

  Lucky put his arm around her. “Lukey boy didn’t tell you that we have a band, and that we occasionally play at Bernie’s?”

  “No, he didn’t tell me,” she replied as she shot me a look.

  “To be honest, I really didn’t think about it,” I said in my defense.

  “Tell me you’ll be joining us tonight and listening to the lovely Luke sing his heart out?” Lucky smirked.

  “You sing?” Lily asked.

  Shit, I wanted to kill Lucky. “A little.” I smiled.

  “We’ll have to talk about this later; I see Giselle coming,” Lily said as she walked away.

  “Hot damn! Another hottie coming my way. Later, man,” Lucky said as went to check out Giselle.

  I rolled my eyes and continued to grill the food. Moments later, Lily came up beside me with a plate in her hand. “I thought you might need this,” she said.

  “Thanks,” I said as I took it from her and put the hot dogs and hamburgers on it. We walked over to the picnic table, and as I set the plate down next to the other food, the gang started lining up, so I walked back to grill some more. Lily followed me.

  “Go eat,” I said.

  “I will. I want to wait for you.” She smiled. “I want to know more about this band you have.”

  “It’s no big deal. Bernie’s is the bar Maddie works at. I play guitar and sing a couple of songs every once in a while. Sam plays on the keyboard, and Lucky’s the drummer.”

  “That’s cool. I’m surprised you never mentioned it.”

  “I guess I didn’t think about it,” I said.

  “What’s your band’s name?” Lily asked.

  I froze because I didn’t want to explain it. I wasn’t ready to open that door and walk down that road with her.

  “Well?”

  I took in a deep breath. “The band’s called ‘Love In Between’.”

  “Cool name. How did you come up with it?”

  “You know what, Lily; you really should go eat. Don’t wait for me.”

  “Oh, ok,” she said before walking away.

  I could tell by the look on her face that I had hurt her feelings, so I turned around and watched her walk back to the table. Now, I felt like shit. Damn it. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I just can’t talk about anything to do with Callie. It still hurts too much.

  I finished grilling the second round of hamburgers and hot dogs then walked over to the table. I sat down and stared at Lily as she sat in the sand across from my friend, Jasper, who was playing guitar. They were talking, and then he handed her his guitar. I watched her as she strummed each chord. She looked amazing with a guitar. As I sat there, watching her, Gretchen came over, grabbed a hot dog and sat down next to me.

  “She’s pretty amazing with the guitar. She gets it from her father,” Gretchen said.

  “I’ve only heard her play a couple of times.”

  “Well, I’ll ask her to play later. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m saying it anyway. Sam told me about the accident and Callie, and I’m really sorry for your loss. I was there with Lily when she found out about Hunter and Brynn. I saw the look of pain and betrayal on her face, and I was there the whole night, holding her and telling her that everything’s going to be ok. I’ve never seen someone so hurt in my life, that is, until I met you.”

  I turned and looked at her. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

  “It means that the first time I saw you, I saw the same look on your face that I see on Lily’s every day. She puts up a good front, but deep inside, she’s dying, and not only because of what Hunter did, but because of her family, including her father. I see that in you.”

  I turned away. I didn’t want to hear anymore, and I wasn’t in the mood to get lectured. I get enough of that from my mom and Maddie. Gretchen got up and left the table. I looked over to where Lily was sitting, but she was gone, so I got up and walked over to where Sam was standing.

  “Hey, bro, have you seen Lily?”

  “Yeah, she’s over there in the water.” Sam pointed.

  “Thanks, man.”

  I walked to the shoreline and into the water, and she looked at me. “Want some company?!” I yelled out to her.

  “Sure!” she shouted back.

  I swam over to where she was. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

  “Don’t be.”

  “No, I was an asshole. It’s just that I don’t want to talk about certain things.”

  “I get it, Luke. I’m the queen of not wanting to talk about things, so please, don’t worry about it.”

  I smiled at her. Every time I saw her, I found myself smiling.

  “I want you to come to the bar tonight,” I blurted out.

  “I’d love to. Thank you for inviting me.”

  We swam back to the shore, and Lily looked at me.

  “I think I’m going to ask Giselle to drive me home.”

  “If you’re ready to leave, I’ll take you.”

  “No, you stay and enjoy yourself.”

  “I’m taking you home, Lily. End of discussion.”

  She shook her head at me and grabbed her bag.

  13

  Lily

  I climbed onto the back of Luke’s bike and wrapped my arms him, making sure to close my eyes as he took off out of the parking lot. It was getting easier to ride with him, and I didn’t feel as scared anymore. He told me that I’d be safe with him, and that’s how he made me feel.

  We reached the building, Luke parked his bike, and we both climbed off.

  “Aren’t you going back to the beach?” I asked as I handed him his helmet.

  “Nah, I think I’m going to practice some songs for tonight.”

  As we walked to our apartments and inserted our keys into the lock, we both turned and looked at each other.

  “See you later,” he said.

  “Yeah, see you later.” I smiled.

  I walked into my apartment and threw my keys onto the counter; then I went into the bathroom and started the shower. I looked at myself in the mirror; my hair was a hot mess, not only from the water, but from Luke’s motorcycle helmet. I stepped into the shower and washed the salt and sand off my body. After spending a ridi
culous amount of time in there, I turned the shower off and stepped out only to hear my phone chiming. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me as I walked over to my bag to get my phone. There was a text message from Giselle.

  “Brace yourself darling, I just got a call from your mom.”

  I gasped, and my eyes grew wide. “What the hell did she say?”

  “She said she misses you dearly, and she wants to speak with you. She’s trying to track you down. I told her that I haven’t talked to you in months, and that the last time I did, you were in Portland.”

  “Thanks, Giselle.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll see you tonight at the bar.”

  “You’re going?”

  “Yep, Lucky invited me. He’s so sexy, Lily!”

  Oh God, I didn’t know how to respond to that. Giselle and Lucky are total opposites. I messaged her back.

  “Ok, see you later.”

  I felt sick to my stomach. Why the hell would my mom be trying to track me down? I know why, because I’m her daughter, and even though she’s dead to me, I’m not dead to her. I needed to go lay down, so I walked into the bedroom and climbed onto my bed. When I settled underneath the covers, I heard Luke playing his guitar from the other side of the wall. Laying down on my side and tucking my hands underneath my pillow, I laid there and listened as Luke strummed the chords of his guitar. The sound was soothing, and it reminded me of the times when my dad would sit at the end of my bed, play his guitar, and sing me to sleep.

  ***

  I was standing alone in the main entrance of the dark church. Looking down at my wedding dress, it suddenly turned black. My heart began pounding in my chest as I began to panic. I slowly made my way down the dark halls. As I approached the main part of the church, the white bows that sat upon the pews had turned black. I looked up at the altar and saw that the several arrangements of white calla lilies were also black. What’s going on? Where is everybody? I started calling Hunter’s name. I needed to find him. As I approached a small room by the kitchen, I heard noises coming from it, so I extended my hand and reached for the doorknob. Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me.

  “Don’t open that door, pumpkin.”

  I turned around to the familiar voice, and I saw my father standing there, shaking his head.

  “Daddy, someone’s in there. They can explain what’s happening.”

  “Don’t do it, Lily. Don’t open that door!” he screamed.

  Suddenly, he disappeared. I slowly turned the knob and opened the door. Hunter was standing there, naked, with a naked woman pinned up against the wall. I couldn’t understand what was going on. Hunter turned his head, and the woman looked at me. That woman was my sister, Brynn, and the two of them were smiling at me. I put my hand over my mouth and looked to the corner of the small room only to find my mother standing there, pointing and laughing at me. I slammed the door shut and ran down the long hallway that kept getting longer and longer. I couldn’t breathe, and I started screaming. Tears were falling from my eyes so fast that everything became blurry, and I could no longer see, so I dropped to my knees…

  ***

  “Wake up, Lily. Wake up; you’re having a bad dream.”

  My eyes flew open, and Luke was standing over me with his hands clasping my shoulders. I couldn’t catch my breath, and my face was soaked with tears. I just laid there and stared at him, trying to focus on what just happened. He sat on the edge of the bed.

  “Are you ok?” he asked as he wiped the tears from my face.

  “I’m fine. How did you get in here?” I asked as I sat up.

  “I’m the maintenance man, remember?” He smiled. “I heard you screaming, so I came right over. I thought you were in trouble.”

  I pushed my hair back with my hands and took in a deep breath. “I had a bad dream, that’s all.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No, I just want to forget it,” I said as I looked down.

  Luke put his arms around me and pulled me into him. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. His scent was captivating, and his arms were strong as he sheltered me. I wanted to run my lips softly against his skin. I was lost in him and in the moment. I pushed back and looked at him.

  “Do you always treat your neighbors like this?” I asked.

  “Only the beautiful ones.” He smiled.

  The butterflies in my stomach awoke and started fluttering around as we stared into each other’s eyes. He took his finger and ran it along my jaw line, then over my lips. My heart was racing. I knew what was coming, and I braced myself for it. Luke leaned into me and tilted his head as he softly brushed his lips against mine. He put his hands on each side of my face as our kiss deepened. I parted my lips, allowing access for his tongue to enter my mouth and meet with mine. He stopped and put his forehead against mine while still holding my face in his hands.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  “Don’t be,” I whispered back.

  He got up from the bed. “I’ll see you later at the bar,” he said, never looking back at me.

  “Yeah, see you later.”

  I put my fingers on my lips, recalling the breathtaking moment. There was feeling and magic in the way he kissed me, and I’ve never felt anything like it before, not even with Hunter. I heard music coming from the other side of the wall, and I could tell Luke regretted kissing me. How am I going to face him tonight at the bar? There’s also the issue with my mother. I walked to my closet and pondered about what to wear. I pulled out my black strapless sundress, slipped it on, and looked at myself in the full-length mirror. I couldn’t stop thinking about Luke. The moment he kissed me, I wanted more of him. My life was starting to unravel right before my eyes, but I needed to stay in control. I won’t let anyone hold power over my emotions or feelings again.

  I ran the flat iron through my hair as I looked in the mirror. All I saw was a broken girl who had trust and daddy issues. Suddenly, my phone rang, and Gretchen was calling me.

  “Hello,” I answered.

  “Hey, Lils. Sam is going with Luke to the bar to set up the equipment. Do you want me to pick you up so that we can drive together?”

  “What about Giselle?”

  “She sent me a text to tell me she’s going with Lucky. They left the beach together, and I don’t know where they went; that situation is weird.”

  Don’t I know it. “Sure, we can drive together.”

  “Great, I’ll be over in two seconds. Bye.”

  I looked at my phone in confusion. Then it hit me; she must be at Luke’s. I put the finishing touches on my hair as Gretchen came strutting in the bathroom.

  “You look great, Lily.” She smiled.

  “Thanks, so do you.”

  “Sam and I just had the most amazing sex!”

  I sighed as I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. “TMI, Gretchen.”

  “Did something happen between you and Luke?” she asked as she sat on the bed.

  “No, why do you ask?”

  “I don’t know. When Sam and I got back to the apartment, he looked more depressed than usual.”

  “I don’t know what his problem is, but I don’t need it,” I said as I slid on my silver bracelet.

  Gretchen jumped up from the bed. “Something did happen! You better tell me right now, Lily Gilmore!”

  “We shared a small kiss, but he regretted it and left. There’s nothing more to tell, and I don’t want to talk about it again.”

  Gretchen came up behind me and put her arms around my neck. “He’s badly wounded, Lily, and he doesn’t know how to heal. Sam said Luke’s pretty much isolated himself since the accident.”

  “I’m sorry about that, and I feel really bad for him, but I’m not the person to put him back together again. I’m broken too, and I have my own issues. I don’t need to take on someone else’s.”

  “Wow, Lils. That’s deep. But tell me this, what’s more perfect than two broken people trying to heal
each other?”

  “Let it go, Gretchen. I’m done with guys, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Let’s go now because I need a drink.”

  “I know you when you get like this, and you better stay away from the vodka,” she warned as she grabbed her keys.

  14

  Luke

  “Dude, come on, get out of the shower already,” I said as I pounded on the bathroom door. “You’re worse than a girl!”

  “I’ll be out in a minute!” Sam yelled.

  I couldn’t get my mind off of Lily, and I couldn’t believe I kissed her. Her soft lips against mine were intoxicating, and it left me wanting to explore more of her. She probably thinks I’m a jerk, and this will probably ruin our friendship. How could I be so stupid? I haven’t kissed a girl since Callie.

  “Bro, what’s up?” Sam said as he stood in the doorway of my bedroom.

  “Nothing, I’m just thinking about some things.”

  “I could tell you were in deep thought the way you were just standing there. Are you ok?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I kissed Lily,” I blurted out.

  “What! Seriously, man?”

  “Don’t make it a bigger deal than it already is. I’m sure she hates me now, and I’m positive I ruined our friendship,” I said as I walked out of the bedroom.

  “You didn’t ruin anything, Luke. I can tell Lily likes you and maybe kissing her was what you needed to do to let her know you’re interested in her. And don’t say you’re not, because I know you,” he said as he pointed at me.

  “I can’t stop my feelings, but I can stop my actions. I find that when I’m with Lily, I think less and less about Callie, and that’s not right, man.”

  Sam walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Luke, you loved Callie, and what you had was great, but she’s gone, and you have to start accepting that. Do you think Callie would want you to live in misery and not move on? Wouldn’t you want Callie to find someone who’d make her happy and take care of her the way you did? Dude, come on, you need to let go.”