Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “Your morning sickness will go away soon.”

  “Not soon enough.” She pouted. “Anyway, what did you want to talk about?”

  “Do you know the name of a good therapist around here?”

  Giselle tilted her head and pushed out her bottom lip as she looked at me. “You’re seeking therapy, sweetie?”

  “Luke and I got into a huge fight yesterday over him not being around as much since he took ownership of the bar. It was my entire fault, and I called him ‘Johnny.’”

  As Giselle’s mouth dropped, she reached over and grabbed my hand. “Why on earth would you call him ‘Johnny’?”

  “Because at that moment, I was having flashbacks of my parents, and the things my dad used to say. Music was his life and his world. It was his passion, and he put every waking moment he had into it. Suddenly, I saw that in Luke with the bar, and I freaked out, especially since Hunter never had time for me.”

  She sighed. “You need therapy!”

  “I know I do. Now give me a name, because I know in your industry, ninety percent of the models are in therapy.”

  Giselle laughed as she got up from the couch and grabbed her cell phone. As she scrolled through it, she asked me if I wanted a male or female therapist. I looked at her with a twisted face because it didn’t matter. I wanted the therapist who was the best.

  “I would call Dr. Evelyn Blakely,” she said. “Marissa sees her, and she said she’s a god-send, so I’m taking that to mean she’s good.”

  As I took my phone from my purse, I noticed a text message from Luke.

  “I just wanted you to know that I can’t stop thinking about your beautiful, talented mouth, and it’s distracting me from my work.”

  I smiled as I quickly responded.

  “Good, that was the plan, baby.”

  “Are you going to be coming to the bar?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there later. I have a few things that I need to do first.”

  “See you later, Lily. I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  I tapped the contact button and asked Giselle for the number for Dr. Blakely. She rattled it off as she sprang from the couch and ran to the bathroom.

  I dialed the number and waited for someone to answer.

  “Dr. Blakely’s office, Janelle speaking. How may I assist you?”

  “I would like to schedule an appointment to see Dr. Blakely, please.”

  “Are you a new patient?”

  “Yes.”

  “I know this is kind of short notice, but do you think you can be here in thirty minutes? I just had someone cancel about an hour ago.”

  “Wow. Yeah, I can be there in thirty minutes,” I said.

  “Your name, please.”

  “Lily Gilmore,” I replied.

  Giselle emerged from the bathroom and sat down next to me. “I swear this kid is going to kill me.”

  “Aw, don’t say things like that.” I smiled as I put my hand on her flat stomach. “Anyway, I have to go. Dr. Blakely’s office told me to be there in thirty minutes.”

  “Wow! Who gets into therapy that fast?”

  “They just had a cancellation.”

  “See, it was meant to be.” Giselle smiled as she got up and walked me to the door.

  ***

  I parked the Explorer in the parking garage of the Santa Monica Sunset Medical Center. Upon entering the building, I took notice of the large salt-water fish tank that sat in the middle of the lobby. I looked over to my right at the directory and found Dr. Blakely’s suite number. Upon entering the elevator and taking it up to the fourth floor, I suddenly became nervous. I hated the fact that I had to relive my past in order for Dr. Blakely to try and help me. As the elevator doors opened, I stepped out and took the long hallway down to Suite 413.

  As I walked through the door, I was greeted by a small brunette who handed me a clipboard with paperwork and asked me to fill them out. I sat down, filled out the papers, and returned it to the desk. It was shortly after that when the small brunette called my name and walked me into Dr. Blakely’s office.

  Dr. Blakely emerged from behind her desk, walked over to me, and extended her hand.

  “You must be Lily Gilmore; it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She smiled.

  I politely shook her hand, and told her it was nice to meet her as well. She told me to have a seat on the beige leather couch, and she asked me if I wanted some water or coffee. I opted for coffee as she walked over to where her coffee pot sat and poured me a cup. As I looked around her meticulous office, I couldn’t help but notice the burning of incense. I asked Dr. Blakely what the scent was. She told me it was sandalwood and that she burned it to help her patients relax. As she handed me my cup of coffee, she took a seat in the oversized beige chair that sat next to the couch.

  “Why don’t we start by you telling me why you feel like you need therapy?”

  I looked down as I traced the rim of the coffee cup with my finger. “For the first time in my life, I’ve met someone that I truly love, and I can’t let the effects of my past ruin it. I realized that last night when we had an argument, and I called him by my father’s name.”

  Dr. Blakeley listened intently as she nodded her head and wrote things down on her notepad. I went on to tell her about Johnny and my childhood. Before I knew it, our time was up.

  “I would like to see you at least three times a week to start, if that’s alright with you,” she said.

  “Yes, that would be fine.”

  “Take care, and I’ll see you in a couple of days,” she said as she put her hand on my shoulder.

  As I walked out of the office and headed towards the parking garage, I pulled out my phone and saw that I had a missed call from Luke. I quickly dialed him.

  “Hey, babe,” he said as he answered.

  “Sorry I missed your call. I was in an appointment with Dr. Blakely.”

  “Who’s Dr. Blakely?” Luke asked.

  “A therapist,” I replied.

  “You got in that fast?”

  “Yeah, they had a cancellation. I’ll tell you about it later.”

  “Are you coming to the bar now? There’s something I want to show you.”

  “Yep, I’m on my way now,” I said as I got into the Explorer and shut the door.

  “Good. I’ll be waiting, babe, and park around the back. I love you.”

  “I love you more.” I smiled as I quickly ended the call before he had a chance to say anything.

  ***

  I pulled into the back lot of the bar like Luke had asked, and he was standing there waiting for me. As I smiled and parked the Explorer, he walked over and opened my door. He leaned in, smiled, and brushed his lips against mine.

  “I’ve been waiting to do that since this morning,” he said.

  As I got out of the truck, Luke bent down and picked me up.

  “What are you doing?” I laughed.

  “Close your eyes. Make sure they’re closed tight because I don’t want you peeking.”

  “Luke, what’s going on?”

  “I want to show you something. Just do as I say, and keep your eyes closed.”

  He carried me through the parking lot, and I did as he asked and kept my eyes closed. He stopped, put me down, and told me to open my eyes. When I opened them, they darted to the new bar sign that read, ‘Luke’s Bar & Grille.’ I covered my mouth with my hands in excitement as I stared at the artistry that officially made this Luke’s bar.

  “It’s perfect, Luke!” I squealed as I threw my arms around him.

  “They put it up this morning. Do you know how awesome it is to see my name up on that sign? I’ve dreamed of this for so long, Lily, and it finally happened.”

  “I know, baby, and I’m so happy for you,” I said as a damn tear rolled down my cheek.

  “Babe, don’t,” he said as he wiped it away with his thumb.

  “It’s a tear of happiness. I love you so much,” I whispered as I hugged him tight.

&n
bsp; “I love you more.” He smiled. “Come on, let’s go have some lunch. Are you hungry?”

  “I’m starving,” I said as we walked into the bar.

  As Luke walked to the back, I sat down at the bar where Maddie was putting glasses away.

  “Hi, Lily.”

  “Hi, Maddie. How are you?”

  “I’m good. I’m glad to see you here today.”

  I gave her a strange look, and then it dawned on me that Luke must have told her about last night.

  “I’m assuming Luke told you about our argument.”

  “Yeah; he was so upset last night when he walked in here.”

  “I know, and I feel awful about that, but we’re good, and I’m seeking help to deal with my past.”

  “You have no idea how proud of you I am. You’re an amazing person, and Luke is deeply in love with you.”

  I smiled at her as Luke came up behind me. “What do you want to eat, babe?” he asked.

  “I’ll just have a burger; you know how I like it.”

  “Yes, I do,” he growled as he leaned in and kissed my neck.

  “Ok, that’s enough!” Maddie smirked.

  I got up from the bar and sat down at a table. I pulled my phone from my purse and there was a text message from Brynn. My heart started racing, and a sick feeling emerged in the pit of my stomach.

  “Lily, please don’t be mad. I went through Mom’s phone and got your number. I really need to see you, or at the very least, talk to you.”

  As I threw my phone on the table and sighed, Luke came walking over with our burgers. He set the plate down in front of me as he took the seat across from me.

  “What’s wrong, Lily? You have that look.”

  I picked up my phone and handed it to him. He looked at me as he set my phone down on the table.

  “Don’t let that upset you,” he said.

  “How can I not?!” I exclaimed as I leaned in closer to him.

  “I hate to say this, Lily, and I know your therapist is going to tell you the same thing, but you need to talk to Brynn to let go and get closure. I told you the same thing about your mom, and look how that turned out. The two of you are speaking again and trying to put the past behind you.”

  I took a bite of my burger and I looked at Luke. “OMG, this burger is amazing! Why is this burger so amazing?!”

  Luke threw his head back and laughed. “I hired a new chef yesterday, and he uses some secret ingredient. It’s so secret that he won’t even tell me what it is. I’ll be sure to tell him that you love his burgers.”

  Once I got over how amazing the burger was, I went back to the subject of Brynn.

  “I can’t believe you would suggest I talk to her after what she did. Have you forgotten that she carried on a relationship with my fiancé, and then fucked him in the church on my wedding day?!”

  “No, babe, I haven’t forgotten that. But maybe you need to hear why she did it. You’re carrying an awful lot of anger around with you about Brynn and Hunter, and maybe it’s time you hear her out and let it all go. Besides, look at where you are right now. Just think, if you wouldn’t have found them in the church, you’d be living your dream life with a big real estate agent, in a big house with a white picket fence, pretending that everything was great, and I’d be sitting in my apartment, all alone and feeling sorry for myself. It’s called fate, Lily. You were meant to find out about them that day.”

  A part of me knew he was right. Luke was always right, and it drove me nuts. I got up from my chair and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face into my neck.

  “You’re right, Luke. It’s time to let go,” I said as I kissed him.

  “Do you think that you two could either go get a room somewhere or at least go lock yourselves in the office?” Maddie said as she walked over to us.

  “Go away or you’re fired,” Luke mumbled.

  Suddenly, we heard a crash. Luke looked up as Maddie dropped a glass on the floor and stared straight ahead towards the door. I got up from Luke’s lap and looked over to where she was looking at someone standing in the doorway.

  “Who’s that?”

  “It’s Adam, that motherfucker!” Luke said as he quickly got up and started walking over to him.

  37

  Luke

  Lily grabbed my arm to prevent me from kicking Adam’s ass out of my bar.

  “Don’t, Luke, please. Think of Charley,” she said as she tried to pull me back.

  As I approached Adam, he put his hands up.

  “Hey, Luke, I’m not here to cause any trouble. I just want to talk to Maddie.”

  “Well she doesn’t want to talk to you!” I spat.

  “Why don’t you let her decide that for herself,” he said as Maddie came walking over.

  “Luke, pull back,” Maddie said as she looked at me.

  “Maddie, you can’t be serious!”

  As Lily pulled me over to the side, Maddie and Adam sat down at a table.

  “Luke, take your own advice!” Lily said between gritted teeth.

  “What are you talking about, Lily?”

  “We just had a conversation about letting things go and moving forward. You told me that I need to talk to Brynn. Well, maybe it’s time you talk to Adam.”

  “It’s different. There’s a little girl involved here.”

  “I understand that, but he’s her father, and you at least owe it to Charley to listen to what he has to say.”

  I rolled my eyes and turned away from her. She was throwing my own advice back in my face. Wrapping her arms around my waist, she asked me to please stay calm for her. I sighed, turned around, and kissed her forehead. I grabbed her hand, and I led her to the table where Maddie and Adam were sitting.

  “Hi, Adam, I’m Lily Gilmore, Luke’s girlfriend. It’s nice to meet you,” she said as she extended her hand to him.

  “Hi, Lily. It’s nice to meet you too.” Adam smiled as he took her hand and shook it.

  Seeing him touch Lily made me sick, and I wanted to fucking punch him right then and there. But, I promised I would stay calm for Lily’s sake.

  “Would you like to explain why you just showed up here without calling?” I asked as I folded my arms and leaned back in the chair.

  “Before I answer that, I just want to congratulate you on the bar. I was very surprised when I walked up and saw the sign.”

  I didn’t say a word to him. I just sat there and stared him down as he continued to speak.

  “I’m a changed man—”

  “The fuck you are!” I exclaimed.

  Lily looked over at me and gave me a dirty look. “Watch your mouth,” she said with a serious tone.

  “I’m clean, and I have been for over a year. I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, and I’ve quit smoking cigarettes. If you don’t believe me, then I can do a drug test for you.”

  “Why this sudden change of character?” I asked.

  “Because I hit rock bottom and almost died. I guess you could say I had an epiphany, because when I woke up in that hospital bed, alone and scared, I knew I couldn’t live my life like that anymore. So, I checked myself into one of the best rehab programs in the country and they helped me.”

  “Then why the hell didn’t you come see your daughter like you promised her you would? Do you have any idea how you broke that little girl’s heart?”

  Adam sighed and looked at Maddie. “The reason I couldn’t visit was because I’m a sponsor, and the person I’m sponsoring, who had been clean for six months, decided to shoot himself up with heroine the night before I was supposed to leave. I had an obligation to be there for him and help him.”

  I got out of my seat and slammed my fists on the table. “You have an obligation to your daughter!” I yelled.

  Lily grabbed my arm. “Luke, that’s enough!”

  As I took in a deep breath, I sat down. I was angry that he would put a drug addict before his daughter, and I wanted to kill him.

  “I understand you
being angry, Luke; trust me, I do. After waking up in that hospital and realizing that I had almost died, the only two people I could think about were Maddie and Charley, and how I was given a second chance.”

  “Wow,” Lily said.

  I looked at her and rolled my eyes as she smacked me on the arm. “Stop it!” she spat.

  “You’re full of shit, Adam, and I don’t believe one word of what you’re saying. You’ve done way too much damage, and you left a trail of tears and scars with Maddie and Charley, and I will not let you walk back into their normal lives and fuck everything up!”

  Suddenly, I heard a small voice from across the bar. “Daddy?” Charley said as she stood a few feet away from Adam.

  “There’s my baby girl.” He smiled as he got out of his chair and held his arms out to her.

  Charley ran to him and threw her arms around him as he picked her up and swung her around.

  “Let me look at you,” he said as he put her down. “You’re beautiful, and you’re so grown up,” he said as he hugged her.

  “Daddy, what are you doing here?” she asked.

  “I came to see you and Mommy.”

  I looked over at Maddie as she took in the moment between her daughter and her daughter’s father. I shook my head because I knew by the look on her face that she believed him, and she was going to let him back into their lives.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute, Maddie?” I asked as I took a hold of her arm and led her to the back room.

  “I know what you’re going to say, Luke, but there’s a part of me that believes him.”

  “Damn it, Maddie! I knew this was going to happen.”

  Maddie pointed her finger in my face. “Listen to me. I owe it to Charley to give her father a chance.”

  “You can’t relate, Luke, because you grew up with a mother and father who loved each other and were there for you and Maddie,” Lily said as she walked up behind me. “Let’s go out to dinner tonight and have some general conversation; maybe you’ll be able to see things differently.”

  “That’s a great idea, Lily.” Maddie smiled.

  “What do you say, Luke?” Lily asked me as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

  “Whatever. I have to go. I have work to do,” I said as I stormed off and went to my office.