Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  I made my way out of the auditorium with all the other parents and parent fill-ins. I waited in the hall back by the backstage entrance. She and I had plans for the rest of the evening, and I wasn’t letting her duck out on me tonight.

  After about 15 minutes, Lizzie came bounding out of the door. Her pale cheeks were flushed with excitement. It thrilled me to see her so obviously happy and proud of herself. She deserved it. She had worked for months in preparation for the small school production.

  I handed her a single red rose. “Bravo, Lizzie. You were superb,” I said, giving her a big hug.

  “Thanks, Alexis,” she said, still grinning ear to ear. “I’m so glad you made it.”

  I returned her smile. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

  As I reached down to pick up the tote bag, I watched her scan the other faces waiting in the hall. “Apparently, you were the only one,” she said under her breath.

  My heart broke a little. “I’m sure she’ll come to the matinee tomorrow. She won’t miss your big debut.” It was a lie, and we both knew it.

  “Well, please don’t think you need to come tomorrow, Alexis. I’m just so glad you came tonight,” she said, brightening. I marveled at her ability to shrug off disappointment. Her resilience seemed to come from a limitless reservoir somewhere deep within. For the millionth time, I found myself wishing that I had just a fraction of her optimism.

  “You know wild horses couldn’t keep me away,” I said. “Well, okay, maybe wild horses ... but only if they trampled me to death.” She giggled, and I was glad to hear her sound like a 14-year-old instead of the little adult that she’d become recently.

  We were outside the school now, and I waved down a cab. We slid inside, and I gave the driver the address of where we would be commencing our celebration. When we pulled up outside the pizza restaurant, Lizzie clapped her hands together. “I was hoping we would come here,” she said, happily.

  It was the same place that we had gone on our first outing together. I’d been a broke law student, and it was all I could afford at the time. But she’d acted like I’d taken her to the Waldorf for brunch.

  I loved small, family-owned restaurants, and this was one of the few that I found that offered thin crust pies like I was used to back home. The décor was classic pizzeria with red and white check tablecloths on the small tables and dark wood booths on either wall. It was far enough off the beaten path that it attracted more locals than tourists. We’d been here dozens of times since that first visit. Tonight, I was hoping that a sense of nostalgia would remind her of how long I’d been the head cheerleader for Team Lizzie. I needed to get her to talk to me. Something was going on with her, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it. Tonight.

  I ordered our usual Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza and two diet Cokes. Since we had some time to kill before our dinner would be delivered, I pulled out the tote bag that I’d been lugging around. “Before you open this,” I said, pushing the bag across the table, “I want you to know that doing this makes me tremendously happy. So it’s not that big of a deal. And I don’t want you getting all weird on me.”

  I’d started to worry that the reason that she’d stood me up last Sunday was that she’d decided that she didn’t want to take what she would consider charity. Lizzie could be very proud. I considered that a good thing, but sometimes it got in the way of reality. Right now, her reality was that she needed new threads.

  She narrowed her eyes at me and reached for the bag. She pulled it down onto the bench beside her and opened it. Peering inside, her eyes widened at the stack of clothing and shoes inside. Her face lit up with excitement, but then just as quick, it fell again.

  I was befuddled by this reaction. I figured she’d either be really excited or furiously mad. But it hadn’t occurred to me that a pile of clothes from Old Navy and a couple of pairs of shoes would make her sad.

  “Lizzie, what’s wrong?” I asked. “You need this stuff. And you’ve worked so hard on the play. You deserve it.”

  She nervously bit her bottom lip. I could feel it. We were on the cusp of something huge. Whatever it was, she wanted to tell me. But as I waited patiently for her to gather the words, her expression turned stony. And just like that, she shut down on me.

  “Lizzie, you have to talk to me. Above everything else, that’s what I’m here for. No matter what, I’m on your side. There’s nothing you can tell me that we can’t handle together.”

  She looked off and focused her gaze on some teenagers playing video games in the corner of the restaurant. Tears pooled in her eyes, but I knew that she wouldn’t let them fall.

  She finally met my eyes, and I could read the resolution in them. “Give me until Sunday,” she begged. “And then I promise I’ll come clean.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Pinkie swear?” I held my hand out to her with my pinkie extended. She wrapped her pinkie around mine.

  “Pinkie swear.”

  It seemed that all of my relationships were stalled at the moment.

  ***

  Strangely, I had no plans for Saturday night.

  It was my own fault. I usually hung out with Ethan and his guy friends on the weekends, but he was on a date with some tart that he picked up at TGI Friday’s while eating lunch yesterday. Preferring to hang out with guys, I didn’t really have any girl friends to speak of. And I’d turned down Adam for the night before and hadn’t heard from him since.

  I’d briefly considered going down to The Shelter on my own. Adam had mentioned that he was there almost every weekend, but I wasn’t going to kid myself. We were nowhere near the point in our no-strings relationship where I could just show up and expect it to be a welcome surprise. He would think I was a psycho. Besides, who knows what I’d find there. We certainly weren’t exclusive. If he had a date with him, it would be awkward at best and humiliating at worst.

  So after Lizzie’s last show on Saturday afternoon, my only plan was to pick up some dinner on the way home and curl up on the couch in front of a movie. Prior to meeting Adam, that had not been an uncommon occurrence. I wasn’t a hermit or anything. I went out when it suited me and stayed in when it didn’t. The nights in exponentially outnumbered the nights out, but this had never been a source of discontent. Until now.

  Adam had thrown a kink in my system. He was ruining me.

  I’d settled into my favorite corner of the couch and watched Rubber Cat pounce his way across the room. The laser pointer in my hand was an endless source of entertainment for both of us. Tonight, he was really putting on a show as if to say thank you for keeping him company on a Saturday night. I flashed the little red light toward the front door and noticed my purse light up on the table. I hadn’t checked my emails all afternoon. It was a Saturday after all, and even I was entitled to a Saturday off every now and then.

  I crossed the living room and retrieved the phone from my purse. No doubt, I would have to spend the next hour answering emails from demanding partners who were only now doing me the favor of answering my emails from earlier in the week.

  I slid my thumb across my phone, and it snapped back to life. I had three missed calls. I scanned the recent call log and cursed. The first call had come in while I was at Lizzie’s performance, and I’d just missed the last one. All three were from Adam.

  I flipped the phone over and over in my hand. Should I call him back? Or text him? Or do nothing? I didn’t want to seem overly eager. But three missed calls kind of indicated that maybe he was eager, too. All my synapses were firing as I tried to figure out the best course of action when his text came in. Eager or not, I didn’t hesitate to text him back.

  ADAM: Dammit, woman. Do you ever answer your phone?

  ALEXIS: Almost never.

  ADAM: Let me know when we reach a point where you’ll actually answer or return my calls.

  ALEXIS: You’ll be the first to know.

  ADAM: Want to hear Burke play again?

  ALEXIS: More than anything.

 
ADAM: Meet me there at 9.

  ALEXIS: What? You’re not sending a driver for me?

  ADAM: I’m just a poor college student. You’re the big time attorney. You should send a driver for me.

  ALEXIS: Meet you there at 9.

  I loved that he didn’t shorten text messages with crazy acronyms or one letter words. I hated “What R U doing?” and “LOL” messages, especially from guys. “LOL” was emasculating.

  I abandoned my half-eaten dinner and scurried off to the bathroom to make myself presentable. Whereas I had spent hours getting ready last weekend, I only had 45 minutes to work my magic tonight. But since I knew what to expect at The Shelter, I relaxed my standards a little bit.

  It was getting warmer out now, so I threw on a black tank top and some jeans. I left my hair down. At some point, I knew I’d want it out of my face so I slid a ponytail holder onto my wrist and covered it with some bangle bracelets. I decided to give the Manolos the night off. Instead, I opted for some slip-on flats that were more comfortable and Shelter-appropriate.

  When I got to the bar, I opened the sketchy front door with the hope above all hopes that Adam was already here. I wasn’t looking forward to standing around by myself, and I didn’t feel comfortable enough to approach Burke and the band on my own yet.

  As my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, I heard his voice before I saw him. “Hey there. You made it.”

  He was standing inches from me, and I could feel that familiar crackle in the air. His hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me in close. His breath was warm on my neck. His scent of musk and soap engulfed me, and I forgot my name for a minute.

  Luckily, he reminded me. “Come on, Allie, let’s go get a drink.” He must have finally worn me down, because the name sounded right rolling off his lips. To be honest, at this point, he could call me about anything, and I would probably answer.

  He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd, which was thicker than the week before. We pushed and shoved our way toward the bar in the back where Burke and the boys had already set up shop. Burke’s eyebrows shot up as we approached, and he looked at Adam with a question in his eyes.

  An unspoken conversation seemed to go on over my head. I couldn’t help but wonder if Burke was surprised that Adam had brought the same girl around twice or if he was just surprised that he’d brought me around twice. I didn’t know which was worse. When Burke nodded ever so slightly, it became clear that they’d come to some sort of understanding.

  Adam stepped up to the bar and ordered a Shiner and a Bud Light from the same busty brunette who had served us the week before. As she handed him our beers, her hand lingered on his a little too long, and she gave him a warm, familiar smile. “So, have you picked a topic for your big film project yet?” she purred. She was talking to Adam, but her eyes met mine in a challenge.

  Her intentions were clear. She was letting me know that she knew Adam and knew him well. I tried to maintain a poker face, but my mind was racing. How did she know Adam? How well did she know Adam? Clearly, she knew him better than I did. He hadn’t even told me that he was working on a big project. But, come to think of it, he hadn’t really told me much of anything, had he?

  I had no right to feel it, but a pang of jealousy raged through me. Since I wasn’t one to give up without a fight, I cocked an eyebrow at her and slid my arm around Adam’s waist to make my intentions clear as well. Whatever relationship she’d had with him was over. He was mine now. Well, at least, he was mine tonight.

  A low chuckle rolled out of Burke. He’d watched the whole exchange and was clearly amused by our territorial, pissing contest antics. He was definitely more perceptive than I would have given him credit for. Adam, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to the tension between the bimbo bartender and me.

  “Ahhhh, Alexis, I knew that you wouldn’t be able to stay away from me,” Burke said with a warm smile. His eyes crinkled at the corners. I mentally thanked him for not saying what he was probably thinking.

  “You knocked my pants off last week,” I said, repeating his words from the Saturday before. “I had to come back and look for them.”

  Burke grinned now. “I like you, Alexis.” His smile flattened out a little, and he paused before finishing, “Be careful with that one.”

  His words, his tone ... it was all very ominous. But I couldn’t tell if he was warning me to be careful of Adam or to be careful with Adam. Or was he warning about the bimbo bartender? I was still pondering the curve ball that Burke had thrown me when Adam finally turned his attention away from the bar.

  “Hey, I’m glad you came out tonight,” he said, handing me my beer. “I was beginning to think that you were purposely ignoring my calls.”

  “Sorry about that. My phone was on silent,” I said with a shrug. I picked at the corner of the label on my Bud Light.

  “Yeah, that seems to always be the case.” His tone and his raised eyebrows indicated that he wasn’t just making a statement. He was asking a question.

  “To be honest, I really hate the thing,” I said. “I have to have it for work, but it’s more for email than anything else. I can’t stand the sound of it ringing so I keep it on silent.” I met his eyes and hoped that he would let it drop.

  He didn’t. “You hate the ringer? You know that phone has like 40 different ring tones. Pick a different one.”

  Burke was watching us like he was amused by our conversation, but Adam didn’t look amused at all. His line of questioning and his probing eyes were getting under my skin.

  “It’s not so much the sound as it is the suddenness of it. It startles me, I guess. I know. I’m a whackadoo.” That was more information than I’d ever given anyone on the subject. The truth was that cell phones and I went way back. We had an ugly history. I knew for a fact that a ringing cell phone and one bad decision can irreversibly alter your life. For some reason, I didn’t want to lie to Adam, but there wasn’t any reason for him to know the whole truth either. Luckily, a distraction sidled up at that moment.

  The distraction came in the form of a very sexy blonde in a miniskirt and sequined tank top. I thanked heaven above when she slid up next to Burke rather than Adam. I’d already had my fill of overbearing females fawning over Adam for the night. I couldn’t blame them one little bit, but it didn’t mean that I wanted to share.

  “Hey, Alicia,” Burke said, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him. His voice was smooth, but definitely not welcoming. “You came.”

  “Ooooh, I wouldn’t miss your show.” She was fawning all over him. One long finger traced circles on his chest. Like the bimbo bartender, Alicia wasn’t afraid to make her intentions known. The entire room knew what she had in mind.

  I glanced at Adam who was shooting warning glares in Burke’s direction. Seeming to take Adam’s advice, Burke began trying to peel Alicia off of him, but she didn’t let him make much progress. She was wrapped around him like a boa constrictor. I halfway expected her to unhinge her jaw and start gulping him up any minute.

  An older man in a Shelter t-shirt walked up to the group. He shook his head at Alicia and glared formidably at Burke. “You boys are up. Stop drinking my beer and get up there and make me some money,” he said pointing at the stage. “You’ve got 30 seconds before I replace your sorry asses.”

  “On it, George” Burke said. Again, he tried to peel Alicia’s arms from around his neck. “I gotta go, Alicia. Maybe I’ll catch you later.”

  “Ooooh, I”ll be here waiting for you,” she said. She leaned in, whispering in his ear. I had no doubt that she was giving him a little verbal preview of exactly what he could expect later.

  “Burke!” a decidedly female voice shrilled out. All of our heads spun to the source of the voice. Carly stood about 10 feet from Burke. Her face was bright red, and her eyes reflected rage.

  “Shit.” The panic in Burke’s voice said it all. He had successfully removed Alicia, but not in time. The damage was done. Carly was already spinning on her
heel in full retreat mode.

  “Here we go again,” Adam said under his breath.

  “Wait ... don’t leave, Carly.” He was pleading with her. I wouldn’t have thought that Burke would have it in him to beg, but apparently he wasn’t above it when it came to his perky, little cheerleader of a girlfriend. I liked him a little bit more for it.

  “Don’t ‘wait’ me,” Carly said over her shoulder. “It’s always the same shit with you, Burke. I’m done dealing with you and that one.” Her eyes were narrow little slits. She pointed a finger at Alicia who was leaning back on the bar and enjoying the show.

  Carly was already halfway to the front door when Burke started to go after her. He only made it about 3 feet before George put a hand in the middle of his chest. “Stage. Now,” he said.

  Burke shot a look at Carly’s retreating back. “I’ll go talk to her,” I said, starting after her. I glanced over at Adam, who smiled at me and nodded his approval.

  “Thanks, Allie,” Burke said. There was clear relief in his voice. “Work some magic, and I’ll owe you big.” He was already headed toward the stage with the other guys right on his heels.

  I caught up with her right before she made it to the door. I grabbed her by the arm. I wanted to stop her before she made it outside. If she made it that far, it would be a whole lot harder to talk her into coming back in.

  She spun around and threw my hand off her arm. Her eyes blazed at me before they fell. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought you were Burke.” If I was correct, she was disappointed that I wasn’t Burke.