Uncle John's Electrifying Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!

by Bathroom Readers' Institute

  If you’d like to try your hand at writing a book, check out the RESOURCE GUIDE on page 284 for a list of young author contests you can enter.

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  BRAIN FREEZE

  When Ludwig van Beethoven was ready to write music, he would pour ice water over his head to “excite his brain.” It also excited his neighbors—the water leaked through his floor and dripped into the apartment below his.

  Chocolate, vanilla, corn, peanuts, potatoes, and turkey all originated in the Americas.

  CHIRP! CHIRP!

  Question: It’s a household pet. You keep it in a cage. And it sings. What is it? Answer: It’s a cricket.

  JIMINY!

  People in China and Japan have been raising an unsual kind of pet for more than 2,000 years—crickets. In Japan, people used to go to special clubs where they could sit and listen to the sound of crickets singing. Crickets in tiny bamboo cages were used as background music at garden parties. Some emperors in China had cages of ivory, jade, and gold for their crickets. And they even hired professional cricket caretakers.

  VIOLIN CONCERTO

  Only male crickets chirp. But how? They rub their wings together. The bottom of one wing has a sharp edge and is called the scraper. They rub it along the ridged edge, or the file, of the other wing and play it like a violin. Why do they do this? To attract females and to scare off other males.

  PET PEEVES

  Once they’re comfortable, crickets will sing all day (and night) long. Is that a good thing? Well, it can get pretty loud in a bedroom. But if you decide to raise them, you’ll need to keep them in a cool, shady spot. They don’t eat much, just a piece of potato, apple, or lettuce every day.

  Is it a secret? The dime is the only U.S. coin that doesn’t say how many cents it is worth.

  Bonus: If a stranger enters the house, your cricket will stop singing, which makes him a great watchdog. You can also tell what the temperature (Fahrenheit) is by the sound of your cricket. Just count the number of chirps during 15 seconds and add 40 to the number! (Or look at the thermometer.)

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  CRUNCHY CRITTERS

  Uncle John found this disgusting (yet delightfully crunchy) recipe for all you cricket lovers.

  Crispy Cricket Cookies

  •2-1/4 cup flour

  •1 12-oz. bag chocolate chips

  •1 tsp baking soda

  •1 tsp salt

  •1 cup butter

  •3/4 cup sugar

  •3/4 cup brown sugar

  •1 tsp. vanilla

  •3 egg whites

  •1/2 cup dry-roasted crickets

  •1 cup chopped nuts

  Preheat oven to 375 F. In a small bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt. In another bowl combine butter, sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla; beat until creamy. Then beat in egg whites. Gradually add flour mixture and crickets. Mix well. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts. Drop rounded glops of dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 8-10 minutes. Cool cookies and let the cricket-crunching begin. Enjoy your crunchy critters with a cold glass of milk. Bon appétit!

  There have been 37 different animal shapes in Animal Crackers since their invention in 1902. Current shapes include bears, gorillas, monkeys, seals, and giraffes.

  TOYS ‘R’ WEIRD

  More strange tales of toys.

  SEA MONKEYS

  What are they? The magical, mystical Sea Monkey’s scientific name is Artemia nyos. It’s a close relative of the tiny brine shrimp and is a true freak of nature. This shrimp is born with one eye—but by the time it reaches adulthood, it grows two more. Three eyes! It also breathes through its feet.

  Just Add Water

  But the Sea Monkey is most famous for its seeming ability to come back from the dead. In 1957 an amateur naturalist named Harold von Braunhut noticed something weird about the tiny brine shrimp: It creates a protective cyst (kind of like an egg) that helps it survive without water. In this stage, it uses no energy and appears dead. When water is reintroduced, it springs back to life.

  Three years later, von Braunhut began marketing little packets of brine shrimp eggs as Instant Life. He sold them through ads on the backs of comic books. Readers—mostly kids—would buy a package, add water, and voilà, Instant Life!

  In 1962 Instant Life was renamed Sea Monkeys. Von Braunhut claimed their long tails made them look like monkeys (they don’t). He also claimed they could perform tricks and be trained to race each other (they can’t). Still, there must be something appealing about them because people have been buying sea monkeys for more than 45 years.

  PET ROCKS

  One day in 1975, Gary Dahl was hanging out with his friends when the conversation turned to pets. Dahl didn’t have a dog or a cat. He didn’t have a bird or a fish either. According to him, real pets were too messy, too time-consuming, and too expensive. So, just for fun, he told his friends that he had a “pet rock.” He said, “It’s the perfect pet. Always behaves. Never makes a mess. And doesn’t require food or water.”

  His friends loved the idea so much, Dahl was inspired. He spent the next two weeks writing a Pet Rock manual. Then he went to a building supply store and found the most uniform and inexpensive rock he could find—the Rosarita Beach stone from Baja, Mexico. (He paid a penny apiece.)

  Dahl packaged his pet rocks with the manuals inside a cardboard box designed to look like a pet carrying case. Within six months, he had sold three tons of Rosarita Beach stone bundled in pet-carrying boxes for $3.95 each. More than five million pet rock owners “paper-trained” their rocks, taught them how to “roll over and play dead,” and eventually faced the inevitable “pet burial”—in the backyard. And Gary Dahl? He laughed all the way to the bank.

  Fill 'er up: Apples, avocados, melons, radishes, and raisins can all give you gas.

  IF YOU WERE BORN IN THE YEAR OF…

  According to Chinese legend, Buddha invited all the animals of the earth to a huge New Year’s party. Only twelve showed up, so Buddha decided to honor them by awarding each one a year of its own. Chinese astrology uses these animals to tell us something about our personalities. What animal are you?

  Rat (1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996)

  Think rats are nasty? Think again: they’re a symbol of good luck and wealth in China and Japan. If you were born in the Year of the Rat, you are blessed with charm, wit, intelligence, and excellent taste. You love to flaunt your style wherever you go. But if you aren’t careful, your devotion to your own self-interests might lead to greediness, boredom, and unhappiness. So think of others and you’ll do just fine.

  Ox (1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997)

  Oxen are natural leaders who never lose sight of their goals. If you were born in the Year of the Ox, you are loyal and honest—and possess the ability to achieve great things. The world may think you’re stubborn, but your friends and family know you’re really tender and affectionate. Your challenge: Learning to overcome your judgmental nature and allow others into your heart.

  The average American consumes 26 pounds of candy a year.

  Tiger (1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998)

  Tigers are courageous and noble. If you were born in the Year of the Tiger, your sense of authority makes you a natural leader, and as such, you are demanding—but also charming… and fun. With a good cause to defend, you’ll fight to the very end. Occasionally, you’ll suffer mood swings and without focus, you tend to race aimlessly through life, but once you’ve found your center, you’ll accomplish great things.

  Rabbit (1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999)

  Rabbits are extremely attractive, sweet, and sensitive beings. If you were born in the Year of the Rabbit, you are very popular. You love to entertain, so your home will have the most comfortable and tasteful furnishings. Never one to fight, you will do everything you can to avoid conflict, even if it means looking like a pushover. By learning self-worth and assertiveness, the happy Rabbit will go far.

  Dragon (1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000)
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  If you were born in the Year of the Dragon, you are truly blessed—it’s the luckiest and most powerful sign in the zodiac! You love being at the center of attention, and with good reason—you’re a charismatic leader who loves to get the ball rolling and get everyone to play. But if you have to follow rules, you’ll become miserable. You would do well to learn to balance your quest for success with flexibility, compassion, and tolerance.

  Waaaaah! Hermit crabs pee through pores near the base of their eyestalks.

  Snake (1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001)

  Snakes are courteous, charming, diplomatic, and popular (which all applies to the BRI’s own snake in the grass—Uncle John). If you were born in the Year of the Snake, you possess beauty and wisdom that is irresistible…and even a little bit dangerous. Highly intelligent and intuitive, you are often considered lucky in money. But it is really your willingness to work hard and your clever sense of perception that makes you successful. For you to feel more comfortable and less insecure, you must realize that confidence comes from within.

  Horse (1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002)

  Always wanting to run free, the Horse is the wanderer of the Chinese Zodiac. If you were born in the Year of the Horse, you are energetic, love to travel, and are very good with money. Big bonus: you’re a babe/dude magnet! You are also self-reliant and willing to do the work necessary to get ahead. But you’re also impatient. Instead of waiting for things to happen, you’d rather get things done yourself. Once you learn to see the big picture, rather than just following whims, you will actually get a lot accomplished. So stay on course, you wandering Horse!

  Sheep (1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003)

  Sheep are happy to spend the afternoon daydreaming. If you were born in the Year of the Sheep, then you are highly creative and spend a lot of time alone. You’re not very well organized, preferring instead to be guided by your imagination. Your sensitive, timid temperament means that you often suffer bouts of insecurity and worry. But with plenty of love, support, and reassurance, you can learn to relax and trust others. Then your creativity can really shine!

  Greenland is the world’s largest island…but it has only 50 miles of paved road.

  Monkey (1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992)

  The happy-go-lucky Monkey is a party animal! If you were born in the Year of the Monkey, you love to have fun. You are also a good listener. You are intelligent, knowledgeable about a wide range of topics, and even a bit of a show-off… which sometimes gets you into trouble. But having fun is what you’re all about, even if it means being a little careless and accident-prone. Once you loosen up and learn that the world doesn’t revolve around you, you won’t be quite so easily discouraged.

  Rooster (1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993)

  Think of lawyers, brain surgeons, rocket scientists, accountants—that’s the Rooster! If you were born in the Year of the Rooster, you are a quick thinker who is practical and resourceful and possesses a keen attention to detail. You’re also honest and straightforward. But you tend to be a perfectionist—you expect everyone else to have the same high standards as you and often dismiss those who fail to meet your expectations. Roosters need to live and let live—not everyone needs to be like them. Just remember: It’s all good.

  Bare fact: Gymnastics is from a Greek word meaning “to exercise naked.”

  Dog (1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994)

  Dogs are generally considered “man’s best friend,” but in Chinese astrology, they are a little more complicated than that. True, those born in the Year of the Dog tend to be loyal, trustworthy, faithful, and honest, but only after their trust has been earned. If you were born in one of these years, you expect your friends and family to root for the underdog, you know the difference between right and wrong, and you fight injustice whenever possible! If you have a problem, just lighten up a bit. Relax. Don’t worry, be happy.

  Pig (1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995)

  If you were born in the Year of the Pig, you are a most generous and honorable person. You have a heart of gold and you’re happiest when you’re helping others. Highly intelligent and forever studying, you love to learn. You also love to take a nap or a bubble bath or just hang out with your friends. You are saddest when you don’t feel needed. It would be good for you to open yourself up to all of life’s experiences, even the ones that you can’t fix.

  John Quincy Adams was the first U.S. president to be photographed, in 1843.

  FUTURE PERFECT

  The world of tomorrow… brought to you today.

  Today’s Problem: You accidentally leave your lunch in your locker…for a month.

  Tomorrow’s Solution: The U.S. Army is now working on a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich that lasts three years. It doesn’t taste like cardboard, and will still stick to the roof of your mouth.

  Today’s Problem: You want to eavesdrop on your older brother, but the old cup-to-the-wall trick just isn’t working.

  Tomorrow’s Solution: Simply slip on your invisibility cloak and walk into his room, totally unseen. An inventor named Ray Alden has applied for a patent for just such a device. Here’s how it works: Using photodetectors and light emitters, clothing will map the surrounding area and change the fabric’s coloration to match it—very much like a chameleon changes its coloring—making the wearer virtually invisible.

  Today’s Problem: You’re going for a hike in the woods and want to take your computer along.

  Tomorrow’s Solution: Grab your miniature hard drive, roll up your computer screen, and then drop them both into your backpack. Roll it up? Toshiba has already invented a computer screen that rolls up like a piece of paper. When you want to use it, unroll it and plug it into your portable hard drive.

  Hot topic: Some scientists predict the global temperature will rise 37°F by the year 2100.

  Today’s Problem: Your family loves your house but not its location.

  Tomorrow’s Solution: Simply move it! A prototype of a “balloon cargo lifter” is already sitting in a giant hangar in Brand, Germany. This huge blimp is 20 stories high and is made of a high-tensile-strength fabric. It will be able to float a house from one location to another without worrying about roads, power lines, or traffic.

  Today’s Problem: You’d like to spend spring break on the Space Station, but there’s no way to get there.

  Tomorrow’s Solution: A rope is dropped to Earth, you hop into the transport vehicle attached to it, and ride up like a yo-yo. How could a rope that long (200 miles) hold the weight? It’s called BioSteel—made from spider silk, the strongest known natural fiber. BioSteel may soon be used for sutures, bulletproof vests, fishing lines, and really, really long rope.

  Today’s Problem: You’ve lost the stupid remote control…again!

  Tomorrow’s Solution: Lie back and relax. There’s an amazing new remote control—a pillow with wire sensors embedded in the fabric. Embroidered on the pillow are graphics of numbers and volume controls. No more searching for disappearing remote controls, but look out for pillow fights!

  We didn’t invent this fact: On average, one U.S. patent is granted every minute.

  DUMB CROOKS

  And still more proof that crime doesn’t pay.

  COULDN’T BUY A CLUE

  A man walked into a gas station with a knife and demanded that the attendant give him all the money in the cash register. The attendant replied that he had to buy something before she could open the register. The confused robber told her that he had no money, so he couldn’t buy anything. The clever attendant told him that she was very sorry, but there was nothing she could do—she had to follow the rules. And the would-be crook left…empty-handed.

  LOVESICK LOSER

  While robbing a bank, the thief fell head-over-heels in love with the teller he was robbing. He got away, but he was so smitten that he actually called her, at the bank… to ask for a date! She talked to him—but not to make a date. She kept him on the line long enough for the police to trace the call.


  HELLO, MY NAME IS…

  In Long Beach, California, several employees of a large aerospace company got the bright idea to rob a bank on their lunch hour. They had it all planned out—except for one thing: They forgot to remove their I.D. tags while they were robbing the bank.

  In 1992 St. Augustine, FL, passed a law requiring horses in the downtown area to wear diapers.

  ANSWERS

  BRAINTEASERS

  (Answers from page 54)

  1. Apples and oranges. Steve is an orange-eater. Why? The letter E appears twice in his name, as it does in the names Rebecca, George, and Helen.

  2. Chop shop. The barber with the good haircut may seem like the obvious choice, but he’s not. Since there are only two barbers in town, they would have to cut each other’s hair. So the barber with the bad haircut is actually the better barber. The townspeople all know it, too, which is why they all go to the mop-head barber.

  3. A fine find. Whoever made the coin would have had no idea that it was B.C. (before Christ). That symbol did not come into use until much later.