Uncle John's Electrifying Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!
Page 21
4. Dollars and sense. You have one $50 bill, one $5 bill, and four $2 bills.
5. Light Speed. It was daytime—the room wouldn’t get dark for hours.
6. Soaked. One of them was bald.
7. A-quiz. Dead.
***
Never test the depth of a river with both feet.
—African proverb
How does he brush? A lobster’s teeth are inside its stomach.
MASTERS OF DISGUISE
(Answer from page 99)
How Are the Masters Disguised?
Uncle John is the knight, J. Porter Newman is the gorilla, and Mr. Tidball is the Teletubby. How did Elbow Room figure it out? Here’s how:
• He knew that Hairball’s guess was wrong on all counts. Therefore, Tidball was not the knight, Uncle John was not the gorilla, and J. Porter Newman was not the Teletubby.
• Since the man in the gorilla suit whispered to Tidball, then Tidball wasn’t the gorilla. If he was neither the knight nor the gorilla, he must have been the Teletubby.
• If Tidball was the Teletubby, Uncle John couldn’t have been the Teletubby and since he wasn’t the gorilla, he must have been the knight.
• Which left J. Porter Newman as the gorilla.
C-O-D-E BREAKERS
(Answer from page 151)
“I need help! Meet me at three o’clock near the throne room. Please be there and don’t be late. A secret surprise will greet you. Bring the plunger!”
***
Q: What’s a good thing to part with? A: A comb.
Research shows: Less than half of homemade dinners served in the U.S. include vegetables.
RIDDLE ME THIS
(Answers from page 256)
1. ALL of the children are boys, so half are boys…and so is the other half.
2. Did you say three? Nope—that’s wrong. After you took two duckies, there were three left on the counter…but you have two.
3. The letters in the top line have curves; the letters in the bottom line all have straight lines.
4. Did you say 26? Wrong! There only 11 letters in “the alphabet.”
5. A sponge.
6. Throw the ball straight up in the air.
7. On the bottom.
8. A towel.
9. A mirror.
10. Nothing.
***
THANK GOODNESS IT’S FRIDAY
One hundred years ago, the British government sought to debunk the widespread superstition among sailors that sailing on Friday was unlucky. A special ship was commissioned, named H.M.S. Friday (H.M.S. is a British abbreviation for “Her Majesty’s Ship”). They laid her keel on a Friday, launched her on a Friday, selected the crew on a Friday, and put her in command of Captain Jim Friday. Finally, H.M.S. Friday embarked on her maiden voyage—on a Friday—and was never seen or heard from again.
RESOURCE GUIDE
Hey! We’re not done yet! Now’s your chance to take it beyond the pages by checking out some of these:
FOR YOUNG AUTHORS
• Stone Soup
A magazine written entirely by children.
Gerry Mandel, Editor
Stone Soup
PO Box 83
Santa Cruz, CA 95063
www.stonesoup.com
• Highlights for Children
A kids magazine that holds an annual fiction contest.
Fiction Contest
Highlights for Children
803 Church Street
Honesdale, PA 18431
www.highlights.com
Websites That Publish Young Writers
• TeenLit.com:
www.teenlit.com
• Dawn of Day:
www.dawnofday.com
• Kids on the Net:
kotn.ntu.ac.uk
• Katharsis:
www.katharsis.org
FOR SECRET LANGUAGES
• Pig Latin translator:
www.snowcrest.net/donnelly/piglatin.html
• Oppish translator:
www.davew.orcon.net.nz/oppish/oppish.html
• Ubbi-Dubbi translator:
pbskids.org/cgi-registry/zoom/ubbidubbi.cgi
FOR VOLUNTEERING
• Kids Care Clubs
975 Boston Post Road
Darien, CT 06820
(203) 656-8052
www.kidscare.org
• Kids F.A.C.E.
P.O. Box 158254
Nashville, TN 37215
(615) 331-7381
www.kidsface.org
• Kids Can Free the Children
Suite 300, 7368 Yonge St.
Thornhill, Ontario
L4J 8H9 Canada
(905) 760-9382
www.freethechildren.com
MORE WAYS TO VOLUNTEER
• Youth Service America
1101 15th Street NW,
Suite 200
Washington, DC 20005
(202) 296-2992
www.ysa.org
• Earth Force
1908 Mt. Vernon Ave.,
Second Floor
Alexandria, VA 22301
(703) 299-9400
www.earthforce.org
“There are millions of people in the world—but it just takes one to make a difference! Do something important—it has to start somewhere and with somebody. Start now! Be Somebody! Be One In A Million!”
—Melissa Poe, founder of Kids F.A.C.E.
Come on…
TAKE THE PLUNGE!
To read a few sample chapters, go to our website and visit the “Throne Room,” at www.bathroomreader.com
THE LAST PAGE
FELLOW BATHROOM READERS:
Bathroom reading should never be taken loosely—we must sit firmly for what we believe in, even while the rest of the world is taking pot shots at us.
So sit Down and Be Counted! Join the Bathroom Readers’ Institute. It’s free! Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope and your email address to: Bathroom Readers’ Institure, P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, Oregon 97520. You’ll receive a free membership card, our BRI newsletter (sent out via email), discounts when ordering directly through the BRI, and you’ll earn a permanent spot on the BRI honor roll!
UNCLE JOHN’S NEXT
BATHROOM READER FOR KIDS ONLY
IS ALREADY IN THE WORKS!
Is there a subject you’d like to see us write about in our next Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader For Kids Only? Write to us or contact us through our website and let us know. We aim to please.
Well, we’re out of space, and when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. Hope to hear from you soon. Meanwhile, remember:
Go with the Flow!