Millie shrugs. “Okay, then. Whatever you say.”
As we reach Bojangles a few minutes later, I glance through the window of the café, just to make sure they’ve got enough space for us. This place gets heaving on the weekends. Inside, I can see a couple sitting at the table where we always sit.
When I look closer, I realise it’s Danny.
With Jade.
I can’t believe he brought her here. To our place. In our seats.
Silently I watch the waitress put the drinks down on the table in front of them. Danny’s got his usual Coke, but Jade is drinking hot chocolate. With cream and marshmallows. Exactly like the one I’ve been dreaming of all morning.
That’s my drink. That should be me.
“What’s wro— Ohhhh,” Millie says, spotting what I’ve seen. “Are you okay?”
“Yep, course,” I say brightly. It’s a shame I couldn’t stop my voice shaking, otherwise I could’ve almost sounded convincing.
Jade glances up and sees us staring in the window. She smiles slyly, and shuffles closer to Danny, draping her arm round him as she tries to feed him a marshmallow.
Danny pushes her hand away.
Serves you right, I think meanly. If you knew Danny like I do, you’d know full well he hates marshmallows.
Undeterred, Jade pops the marshmallow into her own mouth and strokes Danny’s hair, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
The thought of charging through the café, tearing her away and shouting, “Get your hands off him!” is very, very appealing. But I have to remember Danny’s not my boyfriend any more. He chose Jade over me.
It does make me feel a tiny bit better when I notice how uncomfortable Danny seems. I mean, he’s not kissing her back or anything. In fact, he seems kind of, well, squirmy.
“Shall we go somewhere else?” Millie says awkwardly.
I shake my head and heft my bag higher onto my shoulder. “I think I’ll go home.”
“Oh, Suzy, no, come on – there’s that other coffee shop we can go to instead if you like…”
“I’m sorry, I just want to go,” I tell Millie. “See you at school tomorrow, yeah?”
“See you,” Millie replies, looking concerned. “I’ll text you later, okay?”
When I get home, the first place I head is the fridge. I need calories, and I need them fast. Which is a shame, because all that can be found in the kitchen is half a lettuce, a bag of carrot sticks and an out-of-date tub of hummus. Yueurch. Hardly the comfort food I was after.
I slump down onto one of the kitchen chairs, and pull out my mobile, scrolling through my list of contacts until I get to Danny’s name. I open up a blank screen and my thumb hovers over the keypad, ready to text.
What am I doing? I don’t know what to say to him. I can’t exactly tell him I wish he wasn’t with Jade, can I? Or that I’m annoyed he took her to Bojangles. It’s a public place, and I’ll just sound pathetic.
“Suzy, there you are!” Mum says, hurtling into the kitchen. I quickly press the cancel button, and shove my phone away.
“Do we have anything decent to eat?” I ask, walking over to the cupboard. When I fling it open I see it’s full of jars and jars of pickled onions and mayonnaise. “I can’t remember when we last had biscuits in this house,” I grumble, shutting the door in disgust. “It’ll be a relief when this wedding’s over and you’ve all stopped these weird diets. I’m a growing girl, I need my nutrients.”
“Suzy, stop that and listen, something terrible’s happened,” Mum says dramatically.
I spin around in alarm.
Oh no. Her face is all pale and she looks dead shaky. My imagination shoots into overdrive. “What’s happened? Is something wrong with Dad? Or Amber? Has Harry had an accident?”
“No, no, it’s much worse than that,” Mum says, flapping her hand. “It’s the dresses for the wedding. The shop rang just after you left to say that the adjustments still haven’t been made on yours and they’ve made a mistake with Amber’s and ordered the wrong one in!”
“Oh thank God.” I sag with relief. “I thought something terrible had happened.”
“Suzy, it is terrible,” Mum says, sounding shocked. “Everything has to be perfect. Amber’s been in her room crying ever since. Mark’s up there now, trying to calm her down. I don’t know what’s got into you lately. I know you’ve had a difficult time with Danny but that’s no excuse to take it out on everyone else. Stop being so self-obsessed.”
“Me self-obsessed?” If I wasn’t so angry, I’d laugh. Does she have any idea what she sounds like?
“Yes, you. Your attitude lately has been shocking. Your sister’s getting married and—”
“I know she’s getting married. It’s not like I can forget when it’s being shoved in my face twenty-four hours a day, is it?” I shout. “All you care about is Amber and this stupid wedding.”
Mum’s stunned. “Suzy, you can’t mean that?”
“I can. For once, I’d like someone to actually care about me. I just… oh, forget it. I’m going to my room,” I say, walking off.
And that’s where I stay for the rest of the day, feeling properly sorry for myself. Everything sucks. It sucks at home, it sucks at school, it sucks with my friends, it sucks everywhere.
Even after Mum comes up and apologises to me, I refuse to budge.
Every time I leave my bedroom something awful seems to happen.
So I figure maybe it’s best if, for now, I just stay put.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Hand in your essays on the way out,” Mr Patterson says at school next day when finally, finally, English is over and it’s lunch. Mr Patterson’s classes are usually my favourites, but today I just can’t concentrate.
I roll my eyes at Millie. “It’s lunch. Praise the saint of all foodstuffs.”
“Tell me about it,” she agrees.
“I’m really thirsty; I need a drink. Then do you want to go and find somewhere to sit down?” I ask, glancing out of the corridor window. “It’s stopped raining, though I bet it’s still flipping freezing.”
“I can’t,” Millie says. “I’m really sorry, but I said I’d meet up with Jamie. I haven’t seen him since Friday night, so…”
“Okay, no probs. I’ll grab a bottle of water and come with you.”
“Well, you see the thing is Danny’s going to be there too.” Millie’s voice trails off.
Oh. I can see why she thinks that would be awkward. Especially if Jade is with him.
“Right.” I nod quickly. “I’ll see you later, then.”
“You’re not going to be on your own, are you?”
“No,” I scoff. “Course not. Do you think I’m a total loser?”
But after Millie’s gone, I gaze wistfully around the corridors at the groups of friends, talking and laughing together.
Because I am on my own.
For as long as I can remember I’ve hung out with Danny, Millie and Jamie. And although Millie has been super supportive since Danny and I broke up and spent lots of time with me, it’s only natural that she’s going to want to see her boyfriend too.
But that leaves me as a total Norma No-Mates with no idea of what to do with myself.
I get my drink, then go and sit behind the humanities block, where I busy myself for a bit painting my nails radioactive orange.
Then I wander over to the IT block, where I surf the internet for a while. I can never get on the PC at home much – Harry or Dad’s always hogging it, or Amber’s on the wedding forums. But after updating my Facebook page and checking a couple of gossip websites, I’m getting bored and a bit fed up of being alone.
What to do, what to do… Oooooh, I know – Zach. I’ll go and find him and see if he wants to spend the rest of lunch with me.
Down on the field, Zach’s playing a game of football.
“Whoooo, good shot!” I cheer loudly, as Zach scores.
Several heads swivel towards me and then the boys start laughing.
�
��Ooh, Zachky baby, is that your girlfriend?”
“Ooh, Zach, you are wonderful,” one boy coos in a high-pitched voice, blowing kisses. They’re all shoving at him, and Zach swears at them crossly.
“What are you doing here, Suzy?” Zach says, pushing the lads out of the way and jogging over to the sideline.
“Came to see you. Wondered if you fancied hanging out,” I say nonchalantly.
“Er, no? I’m in the middle of a match.”
I try to hide my disappointment. “Oh. Okay, then. Do you fancy doing something after school instead?”
Zach’s gaze flicks past my shoulder, then he grabs my shoulders and abruptly pulls me forwards. Before I know what’s happening, he’s landed a heavy kiss on my mouth.
Crikey. Clearly ‘subtle’ is not in Zach’s vocabulary. And he’s going with the nippy, licky kissing technique again. Which I’m still finding kind of ick.
I can hear all of Zach’s mates wolf-whistling and shouting. Someone (I suspect Ryan, but I can’t see because my eyes are shut) bellows something totally x-rated. Which is kind of embarrassing. Everyone’s watching us!
And then I realise how daft I’m being. I always moaned at Danny for not showing me any affection in public. This kind of attention is just what I wanted from a boyfriend.
Isn’t it?
As Zach pulls away, I discreetly wipe my mouth.
“What were you saying?” he asks.
“Um, I just wondered if you wanted to do something after school?”
“Yeah, sure,” Zach says, but he’s distracted now, watching the ball as it flies down the other end of the field.
“Where do you fancy going?”
“Wherever you— Oh come on, Gibbo, what are you doing? Pass it here… pass it!”
“I’ll meet you by the gates later, then,” I shout after Zach, as he runs off and slides into a tackle.
“Sure,” he yells back distractedly.
As I turn to walk away from the football field, I see Jade standing on the path behind me, not too far away.
Hah! I bet she’s jealous and starting to realise Danny’s totally emotionally stunted. Not like my new boyfriend.
I grin triumphantly to myself. I’m moving on from Danny and things with Zach are going to be great. I just know it.
Okay. It’s 4.15 p.m. Zach was supposed to meet me half an hour ago and there’s still no sign of him. It’s drizzling and it’s cold, and I suspect my hair is clinging to my head like a squid on a rock.
Maybe he’s been held up somewhere. I’m sure he’ll be here any second. And it’s not like I’m never late for anything, is it?
I suppose it makes a change that I’m the one waiting for once. It is pretty annoying. Now I know why Danny always got so irritated with me.
The crush of people streaming through the main gates has trickled away. Everyone, teachers and students alike, usually vacate Collinsbrooke at home-time like there’s been a bomb scare, leaving it deserted in three seconds or less. My phone is clutched in my hand, ready to receive the text from Zach which I’m sure must be arriving any minute now, explaining where he is. This would be a lot easier if I had his number… then I could just ring and find out what he’s up to.
Actually, why hasn’t he hasn’t he given me his number yet?
Uh oh. The paranoia’s kicking in again.
I check my watch for the squillionth time, then open up my bag and rummage through, trying to appear important and busy, like I’ve got every reason to still be here.
I’ll just give it a few more minutes.
“Why are you loitering, Suzy Puttock?” Miss Lewis asks suspiciously as she walks past, clutching her briefcase tightly and sporting a particularly ugly purple and yellow tracksuit.
“I’m waiting for someone,” I tell her, smiling sweetly.
“Hmmm,” Miss Lewis says, flaring her nostrils. “If you say so.”
Of course that’s what I’m doing! I wouldn’t lie about it. Does she think I have nothing better to do with myself than hang around this dump? That there aren’t a billion and one other places I’d rather be? Honestly, teachers are insane.
I wait for a few more minutes and the rain starts coming down harder. When I look up, a particularly large drop splats into my eye.
I swallow down my disappointment. It’s time to admit he’s not coming.
He must have got held up or something. I’m sure there’s a good reason, because he wouldn’t just leave me standing out here, freezing my tush off.
Hitching my bag over my shoulder, I stick my coat over my head, and am about to make a run for home when I hear loud voices talking behind me. Zach’s walking down the school steps with a bunch of his mates.
I smile prettily and wave. “Hi, Zach.”
“Suzy? What are you doing here?”
What does he mean, what am I doing here? Did he… did he forget about me?
“Um, waiting for you?” I reply, apprehensively.
Ryan, standing nearby, coughs something that sounds suspiciously like, “Stalker!”
I ignore him. “We were supposed to meet after school?”
“Oh yeah… right. Sorry, Suze. We had a game to finish off and I kind of forgot.” Zach runs his hand through his hair. It’s wet and flops back sexily onto his forehead.
Wow.
He’s the only boy who could get caught in a rainstorm and end up resembling a male model instead of a drowned rat. My insides are doing faster flips than a Russian gymnast.
“So do you want to go somewhere now?” I ask.
“I can’t. I’m going round Stevo’s to play on his new console,” Zach says.
Say what now?
“You know, I’m so pleased I waited around in the rain, only to find out that you forgot all about me, and now you have actually bothered to turn up, you’re blowing me out again. Cheers very much, Zach,” I say furiously.
I regret the words the second they’re out of my mouth when I see Zach’s startled expression. What am I thinking?
“Whooooooo,” Ryan sings mockingly. “Get you!”
Oh, would you shut up, dodgy-pants boy.
My teeth are starting to chatter. “Fine. You know what, I’m going home. I’m freezing.”
“No… wait.” Zach huffs, then says something to his mates. There’s a chorus of jeers and loads of boys jab their thumbs to their foreheads as Zach heads towards me.
Haha! He picked me!
“Where are we heading, then?” Zach says, as we huddle under my coat. “Please don’t tell me we’re going to yours.”
The only place I can think of right now is Bojangles. Which is kind of a special place for me and my friends. But I guess if Danny can take Jade, there’s no reason why I can’t take Zach.
“There’s a cool café round the corner,” I say.
“Oh yeah, Starbucks?” Zach says, perking up a bit. “Cool. They do the best Frappucinos in there.”
“No, not Starbucks,” I tell him. “The one a bit further down, Bojangles?”
“That hippy place?” Zach wrinkles up his nose.
“It’s quirky. And cool. And they do the best hot chocolate.”
“Whatever,” Zach says tetchily. “I’d still rather go to Starbucks.”
Why’s he in such a grump? It’s not like I forced him out with me or anything. It’s probably because we’re cold. That has to be it. Please, let that be it. It’ll be okay when we’re inside drying off, and a bit warmer.
“Are you sure you want to go to this place?” Zach says, as we finally arrive at Bojangles’s door.
“Behave, you’ll love it,” I say, pushing him playfully. Unfortunately I catch Zach off balance. He stumbles and falls into a puddle that comes nearly up to his ankles.
“Argh!” Zach yells. “This water’s freezing. What did you do that for?”
“I’m sorry… I was only messing about.”
Zach shakes his head. “Let’s just go in, okay?”
Inside I try to relax. It’s busy – se
ems like everyone had the same idea of escaping the rain – but there’s a table for two over in the corner that’s perfect.
“God, it’s crowded,” Zach grumbles as we push our way through the tables. “There’s no room in here. And it’s full of kids.”
“It’s cosy,” I correct him.
Zach gingerly sits down on a seat that’s really old and scruffy. He squirms as I dump my dripping coat and bag onto the floor.
“What’s wrong?”
“There’s a spring poking out of the cushion and going up my bum,” Zach says, feeling the seat pad and scowling.
“Oh, have you got that chair? Danny and I always joke about it when we come in…” My voice trails off. Zach doesn’t look like he thinks it’s very funny.
“Can you swap it?” I say. But all the other chairs are taken.
“Hi, guys,” the waitress greets us, hurrying up and looking frazzled. “What can I get you?”
“Hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows for me, please,” I say.
“Do you do Frappucinos?” Zach asks.
The waitress is confused for a moment, and then laughs. “Er, no. Sorry. We could do you a coffee milkshake?”
Zach pulls a face. “I don’t want a milkshake. I’ll have a Coke float.”
“Coming right up,” the waitress says cheerfully. “It might be a couple of minutes, we’re very busy at the moment.”
“Whatever,” Zach says, dismissively.
Ugh, he’s being so rude. But it must just be because he’s cold and wet. I’m sure he’ll snap out of it soon enough.
After the waitress leaves, we sit in awkward silence. Zach picks up a coaster and starts trying to spin it on its corner.
“I think the rain’s stopped,” I say, staring out of the window.
Zach just grunts.
This is a disaster. He’s not even talking now.
I know. He loves football. I’ll try that. “Did you win your match?”
“Nah.”
“Oh. Never mind. What have you been up to since Saturday?”
“Nothing much.”
It would be easier trying to get blood out of a stone. Who knew someone this gorgeous could be so freaking dull?
Whoa. I’m shocked I just thought that. I didn’t mean it. Of course Zach’s not dull. I just need to find the right thing to talk to him about. Think, Suze, think.
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