Saving Grace

by Denise Hunter

  Linn fell into her arms, and Natalie held her. “I was so worried,” Linn said. “I was stupid to say that last night.”

  “It’s OK. I wasn’t thinking straight myself.” She held Linn for a moment more before the girl pulled away and wiped her eyes on her shirt-tail. “Stupid hormones.”

  Natalie asked if Linn had set a doctor’s appointment, but Linn shook her head no.

  “Tell you what. Tomorrow, you set that appointment, and I’ll make an appointment for this week to get the adoption process started.”

  Linn nodded, her lips tipping in a smile. “It’s really going to happen. My baby’s going to have a cool family, and I’m still going to get to go to college next semester and finally get out of this rinky-dink town. I feel like celebrating!”

  Maybe a celebration was in order. “That’s a terrific idea. Let’s plan a little party with just us and the boys. Do you work Saturday?”

  “I get off at four.”

  “Perfect. Keith is bringing the boys home at two, so we can have a special dinner together.”

  Some emotion Natalie couldn’t define crossed Linn’s face.

  “What is it? Do you have other plans?”

  “No, I was just … This is Keith’s weekend with the boys?”

  Natalie was baffled by Linn’s dampened enthusiasm. “Yeah, but he’s only going to have them for part of Saturday, so it won’t interfere with our celebration dinner. Sound like a plan?”

  Her face cleared, and her sunny smile came out. “Sounds like a plan.”

  They talked the rest of the night about their celebration dinner and Linn’s plans for the future. Whatever had come over Linn disappeared as quickly as it had come. By the time Natalie went to bed, she was so excited about the future that she lay awake for over an hour.

  It turned out their plans for the celebration dinner had to be put off, since Natalie couldn’t get an appointment with Kyle until the end of the following Friday. Linn’s appointment with Dr. Hart was scheduled for the same day, and they had squeezed her in because of how much time had passed in her pregnancy already. At nearly twenty-four weeks, Linn definitely looked pregnant, with her belly pooching out and resting snugly against her T-shirts.

  Nat had desperately wanted to go to the appointment with her, but she wanted to get the adoption plans underway. She gave Linn her insurance card and made her promise to call if they decided to do an ultrasound. For that, she would leave her appointment early if she had to.

  They’d planned the celebration dinner for that night, and Natalie thought that was perfect, since both of them had their appointments that day. She was eagerly awaiting a chance to talk with Linn about the doctor’s appointment when she got home. She breathed a prayer for a healthy baby.

  On her way home from Kyle’s office, she’d stop and pick up the steaks and potatoes and some balloons for good measure. They had so much to be excited about and thankful for. The boys had insisted on making signs to hang up around the house. Taylor drew a little figure with a big head and hair that stuck out on the ends. “That’s our baby, mommy,” he’d said. Alex’s artwork was more complex and was labeled with big block letters spelling out “Congratulations!”

  When it came time to go to Kyle’s office, Natalie eagerly left the center and made the short drive. His office building was on the second floor of the Ellis Building above Pica’s Mexican Restaurant. She pulled into a slot directly below his office and took the stairs up to the wooden balcony that rimmed the upper floor.

  When she entered the office, an older woman with hair as black as soot greeted her from behind a desk. “Good afternoon.”

  Nat had seen the woman around town a few times but didn’t know her by name. “Hi, I have a four o’clock appointment with Kyle.”

  “Natalie.” Kyle peeked out from what she assumed was his office doorway. “Come on in.”

  Natalie slipped into his office, noting that it was very tidy and very small. His desk took up half the room, and he seemed to take up the other half. She slid into a chair across from the desk and told herself that she was nervous about the adoption. Not about the man behind the desk.

  “Big day for you,” Kyle said. “You ready to get the ball rolling?”

  She nodded, unable to stop a smile from curling her lips. “This is all so new to me.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll guide you every step of the way.”

  Kyle explained what they would need to do, starting with lots of paperwork. He asked about her client, and Natalie realized she would have to tell him who it was if he was going to do the adoption plan. She bit her lip. How would he react to that? Would it change his mind about helping her? Linn’s family had been nothing but cruel to him since Jillian’s death.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  She looked down at her purse resting on her lap. She twisted the straps in her fingers. “I’ve never given you the name of my client—the birth mother. I suppose you’re going to need that information sooner or later.”

  “This is a small town, and believe me, we’ve arranged adoptions with birth mothers we know. We’ll handle everything carefully and confidentially.”

  “That’s not what I’m worried about.” Her mouth felt as dry as sawdust. “I’m more concerned about how you’re going to react.” Before he could speak, she continued, “The birth mother is Linn.”

  Kyle’s mouth parted slightly, lines of concern furrowing between his brows. If his silence was any indication, she’d taken him completely off-guard. The crinkles at the corner of his eyes disappeared completely.

  “Linn?” His eyes softened until she thought they seemed to glaze over. He looked down at the paperwork he’d begun.

  “I know this must come as a shock. I would’ve told you before, but there’s client confidentiality, and I didn’t want to—”

  He held up a hand, palm out. “I understand.” He leaned back in his padded chair and steepled his hands. “Poor kid. She must be scared.”

  She’d expected anger or bitterness, not this. His compassion stirred something in her that made her squirm in her chair. “She’s doing OK now.”

  “Ed must be having a fit.”

  It took Natalie a minute to realize he was talking about Linn’s father. She explained how Linn’s dad had given her an ultimatum and kicked her out of the house, and how Linn was now living with Nat temporarily.

  He slowly shook his head.

  Immediately, her walls of defense went up. “She had no place else to go. I know it’s probably not wise for a birth mother and adoptive mother to live under the same roof, but … really. Well, what else was I supposed to do?”

  “You are something else, Natalie.”

  She didn’t know what to say. Didn’t quite know what he meant.

  “First you agree to adopt her baby, and now you take her in because she has no place to go. If every Christian put her feet to her faith the way you do, the world would be a different place.”

  She felt heat coil in her neck and wondered if it was now flowing into her cheeks. She could see from the expression on his face that he meant every word.

  “I’ve embarrassed you. I’m sorry, but I wanted you to know that.” He paused, folding his hands on the desktop. “Thank you for taking care of Linn. Jillian loved her little sister very much. She would have wanted someone like you to take her under your wings.”

  Natalie felt her own eyes glazing over and looked down at her purse again. She swallowed past the lump in her throat.

  “Does she need anything? Is there anything I can do to help?”

  She breathed a laugh. “You are helping. You’ve agreed to give me a much-needed discount.”

  He absently straightened the stack of papers on his desk. “In light of what I know now, I can’t charge you for the adoption plan, Natalie.”

  “No, Kyle, that’s not why I told you.”

  “I want to do this. For Linn. For Jillian.”

  The lump in her throat felt like a whole can of Play-Doh.
She never dreamed, never expected … “Thank you.”

  The awkward moment stretched, and she felt a connection with Kyle. She was adopting what would have been his niece if Jillian were still alive. She wondered if the connection she felt could ever evolve into anything significant.

  Linn’s words from the week before thundered in her ears. He cheated on my sister, you know. He was a two-timing jerk, and I don’t care what you say. He wanted her dead so he could run off with his girlfriend!

  Natalie could easily discount the last part. She already knew enough about Kyle to know that couldn’t be true. But maybe he’d had an affair. Maybe that’s why he felt so much guilt over Jillian’s death. Maybe that’s what they’d been arguing about in the car when he’d had the accident.

  As they got the paperwork underway, Natalie decided it made sense that Kyle had had an affair. It would account for his self-blame over his wife’s death and explain the antagonism Linn’s family felt toward him. She didn’t want to think it of him, but she’d learned the hard way that it can happen to just about anybody, given the right set of circumstances. No one would have suspected her ex-husband of being unfaithful either, and he had managed to keep it a secret for months. An ugly mass of hurt surfaced, and she shoved it away. It was all in the past now. No sense dredging up ancient history.

  After the appointment with Kyle, she picked up the boys and headed toward the grocery. While she drove, she determined to keep her head when it came to Kyle. It would be hard enough to trust any man again, but she would never put herself into a relationship with a man who’d already proven himself untrustworthy. Her heart couldn’t take that kind of betrayal again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Natalie flipped the steaks on the grill and checked her watch for the dozenth time. Why was Linn’s appointment taking so long? If she’d known it would go so long, she would have joined her at the doctor’s office after her appointment with Kyle. She’d expected Linn to be here after she’d returned from the grocery, and now she was getting worried. Natalie had had sufficient time to start cooking, and the boys had put up all the decorations. What if something was wrong with Linn or the baby?

  Oh, she should’ve just postponed her appointment with Kyle and gone with Linn. Maybe something was wrong, and Linn was there all by herself.

  Don’t be such a worrywart, Natalie. Doctors run late all the time, especially obstetricians. She was just getting ready to call Dr. Hart’s office when she heard the front door open and shut.

  “I’m out here, Linn,” she called through the screened patio door. She slid the screen open, glad the boys were playing next-door with Brandon so she and Linn would have a chance to talk. Linn was wearing a smile, and everything in Natalie went limp with relief.

  “Everything went OK, then?” Natalie asked.

  Linn nodded. “It took forever, though.” She crinkled up her nose. “And the exam was, like, so embarrassing.”

  “I know. Believe it or not, you’ll get used to it. At least Dr. Hart is a woman.”

  “No kidding. I can’t imagine letting a strange man do that to me. Oh, and I got to hear the heartbeat! That was so cool.” Linn’s excitement was contagious.

  “I wish I could’ve been there,” Natalie said. “Did you set your next appointment? Will they do an ultrasound?”

  “Dr. Hart thought they should ’cause I’m so far along and ’cause of my age, I guess. They set it for next Tuesday. Can you come?”

  Natalie smiled as a rush of anticipation went through her. “I wouldn’t miss it. They can tell the sex now, you know.” It occurred to her that maybe Linn wouldn’t want to know. “Unless you don’t want to know.”

  She shrugged. “I think it would be OK.” Linn went to the grill and checked on the steaks. “Actually, it would be great.” She glanced back at Natalie before turning to the steaks again. “I’ve kind of started a journal for the baby. You know, just thoughts and stuff I’m having while I’m pregnant. I was thinking you could, like, give it to him or her later.”

  Natalie’s heart squeezed. “Oh, Linn. I think that’s wonderful. What a beautiful gift. Someday this child will be able to read your thoughts and know how much love you had for your baby.” Natalie’s eyes burned.

  Linn nodded but didn’t turn to look at her, and Natalie wondered if she was having trouble getting her emotions in check.

  Finally, Linn turned and gave a watery smile. “Would you look at me? This is supposed to be a celebration, and here I am getting all weepy.”

  “Linn!” Alex called as he ran to the patio. “Did you see our decorations?” Taylor followed him, his chubby little legs working hard to keep up with his brother.

  “I sure did! You guys did great.”

  “Let’s celebwate!” Taylor said.

  Natalie and Linn laughed.

  “I think the steaks are done,” Linn said.

  Natalie retrieved the baked potatoes from the oven and took the phone off the hook while Linn stacked the steaks on a plate. They’d decided to eat in the dining room, where the boys had put streamers of crepe paper around the walls.

  Since the dining room opened up to the living room with the vaulted ceiling, they’d tied the balloons to the back of the chairs to keep them from getting away. Natalie had set the table with her ivory tablecloth and gotten out the delicate china she and Keith had received as wedding presents. They’d only been used a handful of times and didn’t have a chip or scratch on them. Watching Taylor settle into his chair beside her, she hoped she could say the same thing by the end of the evening.

  Linn took a seat next to Alex, against the wall, while Natalie distributed the steaks, cutting one in half for Alex and Taylor.

  Alex picked up his fluted glass and sipped the milk from it. “This is fancy, just like TV.”

  She dished out the French-cut green beans, giving the boys a tiny serving, and watching Alex’s nose crinkle up.

  “This smells heavenly. I’m so hungry,” Linn said.

  “Me, too. I skipped lunch.” Natalie put a hand on Taylor’s as he was about to shove a bite of potato in his mouth. “Wait for prayer.”

  Finally, they were all settled around the table, and it grew quiet. Natalie held out her hand for Taylor, and Linn joined in until they were all connected.

  “We have so much to be thankful for.” She looked around the table at her boys and the young woman God had brought into their lives. “Not only has God blessed me with two wonderful boys, but He’s brought you into our lives, Linn.”

  Though Linn looked down at her plate, Natalie could see she was pleased. “You’ve enriched our lives just by being you, and we’re grateful we’ve had the chance to get to know you.”

  “And she plays a wicked game of Uno, too.” Alex’s serious expression only made the comment more comical.

  Natalie chuckled, then paused a moment until the room grew serious again. “I’d like to offer a prayer of thanks now.”

  Everyone bowed their heads. Natalie closed her eyes and took a moment to formulate her thoughts.

  “Our dearest heavenly Father. We are so grateful for the love You have for us. For keeping us safe and giving us peace and joy. Right now, we’re so thankful that You’ve brought us together at this very special time in our lives. Thank You for making Linn the special person she is, and for helping her see the dear value of the life she carries. Thank You for this wonderful opportunity You’ve given me to raise another child. What an awesome responsibility. I pray that You will help the boys and me to be everything this child needs.

  “Bless us now and keep us safe. Help us to bear with one another and love one another. Help us to be fully committed to doing whatever task You have for us, always keeping You first in our lives. For it’s in Jesus’s name we pray, Amen.”

  “Amen,” Linn said, her glassy eyes focusing on Natalie.

  Natalie picked up her goblet and held it in the air, waiting for Linn and the boys to do the same. Alex quickly caught on, but Taylor only watched with furr
owed brows.

  “Put your glass up, dummy,” Alex said. Before Natalie could correct him, he apologized.

  Taylor put his glass up as high as he could reach. “Are we gonna get the baby now?”

  Linn chuckled. “No, sweetie, it’s not ready to be born yet.”

  “And sides,” Alex said, “we don’t have no baby bed to put it in yet.”

  “My arm’s getting tired,” Taylor said.

  “To Linn,” Natalie said. “For her willingness to share the most precious gift in the world.” Natalie started to clink her glass with Linn’s, but Linn pulled back.

  “And to you and the boys,” Linn said. “For being willing to love and raise this baby.”

  Natalie and Linn shared a smile, and for a sweet moment, it felt as if their hearts were connected by a string. “Here, here.” They all clinked glasses, and nobody said a word when Taylor’s milk sloshed out a bit.

  The boys mimicked the way Natalie and Linn took a sip from their goblets and set them down.

  Before they could pick up their utensils, Linn started to get up. “Wait a minute. I have something I want to read to you. I wrote it this week in my journal.” She scooted her chair out and dashed around the table and up the stairs.

  “I’m hungry. Can we eat?” Alex said.

  “Wait a minute. Linn has something special she wants to share.”

  “Where’s the baby?” Taylor asked.

  “It’s still in Linn’s tummy,” Natalie said. “But in a few months the baby’ll be born. Would you like to help feed the baby?”

  “I will. I ain’t changing no diapers, though,” Alex said.

  Natalie thought she heard a car pull into the drive and sighed. She didn’t want their celebration interrupted. It was probably Paula or Hanna dropping by to chat. She got up and peeked out the picture window.

  Keith. A ball of disappointment formed in her belly. Shoot. Of all the people she didn’t want showing up right now, his name topped the list. He was picking up the kids tomorrow morning, so why was he here now? He got out of his car, so she walked to the front door at the base of the stairs to head him off. She swung it open as he was getting ready to ring the bell.