Leap of Faith (Iris Boys Book 3)

by Lucy Smoke

  Dr. C looked at the image on the screen as though it were something beautiful, fascinating. I tried looking at it and seeing it differently. It just looked like a monster.

  "I say that change and creation can make a monster, not to scare you," Dr. C admitted, "though I'm sure it will for some of you. I say it because, despite popular belief, monsters are normal. In my class, you will learn that and so much more."

  She stopped and looked at the class. Everyone is quiet. Some looking at her in awe, some looking at her in confusion and indifference. But not me. I kept staring at the monster's image waiting for it to change at any moment, showing me exactly what she meant. It's no surprise that, when class ended, I found myself staring at it even as I passed by to the hallway, on the way to my next class.

  First day, and I was already enthralled by college.

  Harlow!" A familiar voice called out to me as I stared across the vast sea of students dressed in their best for the first day of classes as they mingled in front of a long strip of classroom buildings. Turning on my heel, I smiled when I spotted the top of Texas' dark head bobbing up and down. The reason I knew it was him was because, just behind him, Marv's slightly taller frame took up space.

  "How was your first day of classes?" Texas asked when they finally reached me. I had the distinct urge to look away from him when my throat tightened, and my shoulders drew up ever so slightly. Embarrassment crawled up my spine. It was primarily due to what we had discussed the night before and the fact that I had hung up on him. I wondered if he had mentioned it to Marv. I eyed him out of the corner of my eye. Other than his new sullen and petulant-child look—courtesy of having to live with Grayson now—he looked normal. Texas acted as though none of it had happened. He had no qualms about slinging an arm around my shoulders in a half hug. He was acting so casual, that it helped relax the tension in my shoulders.

  "It’s certainly been interesting," I admitted, trying for a cool, normal tone. "I've got about an hour or so before my next class. I was gonna go to the cafeteria."

  "By yourself?" Marv asked.

  I nodded. "I forgot to get Lizzie's number and I figured you guys might be busy or I wasn't sure if I'd get the chance to see you."

  "Well, we're here now," Texas said brightly, sliding his arm from my shoulders and taking my hand. "Let's go get some food." My skin tingled where Texas’ thumb smoothed over my knuckles. I glanced at Marv briefly, taking in his reaction—or lack thereof when I realized he wasn’t paying attention.

  "Where's Grayson?" I asked, returning my gaze to Texas, as he began tugging me towards the Thompson cafeteria building.

  "Class," Marv grunted.

  I stared at him for a moment over my shoulder before huffing and turning away. We would have to talk about his attitude problem, I decided, sooner, hopefully, rather than later. He and Grayson needed to get along and get over whatever their past indiscretions were or, so help me, I'd lock the two of them in a room together until they did. Maybe I could handcuff them together…I looked over to Texas. He’d totally help me, I just knew it.

  As we headed for the cafeteria, with Texas' hand in mine, I turned my attention to something less devious, making a list in my head for all of the school stuff I’d need to get done. It was easy to get caught up in the idea that I was in college. That we were normal and all I could do was take classes and meet new friends and maybe even kinda date...the guys. Even if having multiple boyfriends was socially not normal. But I couldn't let myself be swept away. We were here for a reason: to find Erika and, hopefully, Grayson's brother, too.

  "So, what's it like so far?" Texas asked as Marv dashed in front and held open the door for us.

  "Classes?" I guessed. "Well, I've only had one so far. It was okay. The teacher seemed...interesting." I honestly didn't know how else to put it. Even as I recalled the different things people said about what they disliked about themselves. When I answered... I don't always try for what I want... I was thinking about the guys, but I was also thinking about other decisions I had made in my life. Quitting gymnastics. Giving up on college before I met the guys. I had resigned myself to giving up a lot of future opportunities just because of my mom. Now, it was almost a shock to see that I didn't have to.

  "Pasta or pizza?" Marv asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

  "Um...pasta?"

  He nodded. "Okay. Texas and I will grab the food. Why don't you find us a table?"

  "Sure..." I started, but Marv was already walking away. I looked at Texas.

  "Don't mind him." Texas turned to me and leaned down, brushing a whisper-soft kiss on my cheek. I blinked, surprised as I inhaled sharply, and butterflies erupted in my stomach. "He's just pissy because he has to spend so much time around Grayson lately."

  I frowned as Texas let go of my hand. "He's gonna have to get over it sooner or later."

  Texas nodded. "I know that, and he knows that—Knix had a talk with him. But it’s easier said than done." Texas turned and walked away, leaving me standing there, feeling a little bad for being so frustrated with Marv's feelings towards Grayson.

  When I had first met Grayson, I hadn't liked him all that much either. He had seemed pompous and arrogant—too much so. I needed to remember that Marv and Grayson—and, I supposed, Iris in general—had a history. More history than I did with either of them.

  Turning, I headed for the other side of the cafeteria where several rows of tables were filled with students. As I roamed up and down the aisles looking for a clean, empty table, I spotted one in the far corner near a girl in a lime green t-shirt and jean shorts, sitting alone, eating a salad with her phone on the table in front of her. I scooted past her and sat down at the empty table just as a couple of girls in athletic-wear made a beeline for it. The tallest scowled at me as I planted my butt like I was planning to grow roots, but merely turned away and stalked towards the other side of the cafeteria while her friends trailed after her.

  “Found her!” I jerked as Texas’ voice floated over to me. He and Marv walked up with three steaming plates of pasta just as I was sliding my bag under the table. Surprisingly, they had also managed to carry over a few glasses of water. Texas carried three glasses in one palm, all with their bottoms balanced precariously. He moved with such grace, though, I wasn’t worried. I had only seen more experienced servers pull that maneuver.

  Texas paused at the end of the table and set the plate down first before he handed me one glass and set the other two down. Marv moved up next to me and, when he hovered, I realized he wanted to sit next to me, so I scooted over. Once we were all sitting, Marv pulled out silverware wrapped in napkins and handed them out. We all worked like one, big, well-oiled machine. It made me smile…and miss the others.

  “I wonder what Knix and Bellamy are doing while we’re away,” I contemplated aloud as I speared a bowtie noodle with my fork.

  “I’m sure they’re keeping busy,” Texas said as he shoveled a forkful into his mouth.

  Marv tilted his head back and looked at me. Tornado gray eyes met mine. “You can call them later if you want. Are you coming back to the house with us?”

  “The house?” I blinked as I realized what he meant. He was talking about the house that he was sharing with Grayson and Texas while we were here. “Oh, yeah, sure, I can do that. I have class again after lunch, though.”

  Marv nodded. “We do, too, though Texas will apparently be going on a little field trip. So, I’ll just come pick you up from your classroom.”

  A part of me wanted to comment on Texas’ little field trip—it obviously had something to do with the mission. A possible lead was just what we needed. I paused with my fork poised at my lips and slowly lowered it back to my plate as I leaned forward.

  “Where are you going?” I asked curiously, eyeing him.

  Texas paused, mid-chew, before swallowing. “It’s just a hunch,” he said as though he wasn’t really comfortable saying anything just yet. I wondered if he was just afraid to get my hopes up. “We’re not really
sure of anything, but Grayson and I are going to be heading to the upstate rehab facility that Josh was in before he disappeared.”

  I nodded with exaggerated slowness even as I scanned him for any more hints and clues before turning to look at Marv. It didn’t surprise me that he wouldn’t be attending that field trip. “Okay, then, I guess I’m with you this afternoon.” I smiled before reaching for the bag that I had stowed away. “Hold on, I think I have the classroom building and number in here.”

  Marv waved his hand before lifting his glass to his lips. When he was done, he set it down with a small, reserved thud. “Don’t worry about it.”

  I paused, my hand hovering over my bag. “How are you gonna find out where my next class is?”

  Texas laughed. “Well, for one, Spider-Monkey, Marv’s gonna walk you to your class, and two, we already have your schedule.” He stabbed his fork into another noodle. “It’s in all our phones, just in case.”

  My mouth gaped, and I twisted back and forth between them. “Why don’t I have your class schedules then?” I asked.

  Texas paused, his laughter stopping as he frowned. “Uh…well…I guess, we just didn’t think about it?”

  “Is that a question or your answer?” I pursed my lips at him.

  “An answer?” he tried again.

  “You can have our schedules, Sunshine,” Marv said, drawing my gaze. “We’re sorry, we just didn’t think of it.”

  “It’d be nice if you thought of it more,” I said quietly. I turned my face away as I tried to hide my hurt. It wasn’t necessarily easy to hide it, however, especially as I kept talking. “If I’m going to be part of your team, you need to treat me like I am. If everyone else gets my schedule, then I should get yours as well.”

  “We just focus on you because we want to keep you safe,” Marv replied softly. Though his tone was understanding and suitably chastised, the knowledge that they hadn’t thought to include me still stung.

  I shook my head. “And I appreciate that, really, I do. But it’s not a fair trade.”

  Texas looked at us with wide eyes. “Yeah, okay,” he said, holding out his hand. “Just…um…give me your phone and I’ll put in our schedules.”

  I handed over my phone, feeling a mixture of relief that they weren’t fighting me and irritation that I even had to point out the unfairness of it in the first place. When we were done eating, I stood up as Marv took our plates, cups, and silverware to the dish disposal area. Texas handed back my phone. “I’m sorry, Spider-Monkey.”

  I sighed, my shoulders drooping. “I just want to be as much a part of the team as you all are,” I said. “That’s it. I don’t think it’s too much to ask, right?”

  He nodded. “We’re not used to it, but I know how you feel. When Bellamy brought me in, I was the low man on the totem pole. We’ll get used to it, I promise. It’s just gonna take a hot minute or two. We didn’t mean to upset you.” I knew they hadn’t. They weren’t being malicious or cruel. They weren’t even being sexist—most of the time. They just weren’t thinking of me as part of the team yet. Not a full-fledged member. I hoped that this was a step closer to that.

  “Can I have a hug?”

  I huffed out a laugh. “You never have to ask,” I said, going into Texas’ open arms.

  “Even if you’re mad?”

  “I’m not mad,” I assured him. Frustrated? Yes. Hurt? Definitely. But mad? Well...I knew their intentions were well-meaning, but that didn’t mean I had to like them.

  “I have to go get Grayson,” he admitted. “I’ll text you when we get there.”

  I gave him a small smile. “I’d appreciate it.”

  Marv stopped at the table and grabbed my bag. “Ready to go?”

  Texas released me, but not before pressing another kiss to my cheek. Because my face was turned towards Marv, I noticed the slight firming of his lips. But surprisingly, he didn’t look angry. Just uncomfortable. Like he thought he should look away to give us some privacy.

  “I’ll see you when I get back, Princess.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Pick one name,” I said. “Not both. It’s either Spider-Monkey or Princess.”

  “What about Spider-Monkey Princess?” Texas challenged.

  I blanched.

  “Spider Princess?”

  I lifted a brow.

  “Monkey Princess?”

  This time, I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Oh, my God.” I pushed at his chest. “Just go already.”

  “You know you’ll miss me,” he called over his shoulder as he walked away.

  He wasn’t wrong.

  Chapter 4

  The "house" that Grayson, Texas, and Marv were sharing turned out to be a duplex much like the one I had lived in with my mom. Marv and I walked back from my second and last class of the day, cutting through one of the staff and faculty parking lots. We were going to be alone for a few hours. With everything going on, I hadn’t realized how deeply my relationships with the guys were changing. Before, I might have been unsure or awkward for a completely different reason. Now, I kept wondering if he would try to kiss me again. When we arrived, I glanced at Marv out of the corner of my eye as he unlocked the front door and held it open for me. He didn’t appear as phased by our proximity or relative aloneness as I was. Maybe I was reading too much into the moment.

  As I entered, at first glance, the place seemed small. Even smaller than my old duplex. The living room was barren except for a threadbare couch shoved under the front windows that overlooked the rickety porch. In front of it was a scarred, cheap, black coffee table that didn't match the wooden entertainment center holding the tiny box television across the room. I blinked as I looked at it, and Marv laughed.

  "Yeah, I didn't know those things still existed outside of junkyards either."

  "Does it work?" I asked.

  He shrugged. "Dunno. I can try and see if it'll work, but I thought you wanted to call the others."

  "I do," I replied immediately. "I just didn't want to call them in the dorm or anything because of my roommate."

  He nodded. "I figured. That's why I offered the place. You know this is our base of operations for the time being. Before you leave here today, I'll give you a key in case we're not here to let you in."

  I moved further into the house, peeking down the hall. "You can use any of the rooms," Marv offered. "I'm sure you'll want privacy."

  I paused on the threshold of one of the proffered rooms, the door hanging open and revealing a double wide bed, a dresser, and not much else. "Are you really okay with doing this?" I asked. I hesitated to look back at him.

  "Doing what?"

  "The...you know...the dating thing." I finally turned and faced him.

  Marv's gaze met mine and he stepped closer. My breath caught, and my heart picked up the tempo of its movements against the inside of my ribcage. I felt like it was racing faster and faster, trying to run away from something...or maybe to someone. "I don't begrudge them," he said. "The others. I understand it. You're amazing, Harlow, whether you realize it or not. I knew you'd be trouble the second Bell and I saw you jump after Cleo." Marv's hand raised, and his fingers brushed my hair away from my shoulders. "If I had to guess, I'd say Bell fell in love with you right then and there. You have him firmly entrapped, but I'm sure it's one prison he'd never want to escape from."

  I frowned, confusion clouding my thoughts. "I don't want to be a prison for anyone."

  Marv's lips twitched. "It's not a bad thing—maybe prison was the wrong word for it. In every relationship there are expectations, there are rules. You have to respect the other person and they have to respect you. Rules seem like a prison to some people. But in a healthy relationship, it's merely a side note to all of the other things. The safety. The care. The love."

  "And you think Bellamy is already in that relationship with me?" I wondered if he was right. After all, Bellamy and I had gone a lot further in the intimacy department than any of the others.

  He nodded. "I do, but I'm
not afraid."

  "You're not jealous?"

  Marv laughed sardonically, his chest rising and falling quickly with the sharp movement. It was the kind of laugh that made it clear he didn’t truly find it funny. "Oh, I'm incredibly jealous," he finally admitted. "Bell is a good person, though. He'd never take advantage of you or hurt you." A dark emotion passed over his expression and he stepped back. "With him, I'm sure you'll be just fine. I'll be in the kitchen, let me know when you're done with your phone call."

  Before I could say anything, he turned and left, heading back down the hallway and back into the main portion of the house. A weight settled on my chest, filling me with dread, sinking deep in me like rocks to the bottom of a lake. With a frown, I entered the bedroom and slowly closed the door behind me. The more I was reminded of their expectations, the more I felt like I was the one trapped in a prison—a prison of choice.

  Shaking away the foreboding thoughts, I set my bag to the side and dragged my phone out, quickly dialing Knix's number. He answered on the second ring.

  "Harlow?"

  I smiled at the sound of his voice—deep and steady. "Hey," I said, "I'm just calling to check in on you guys. How is everything there?"

  "Everything is good. Alex has us working on some stuff here. Bell checked on your mom. He visited her yesterday; she's doing okay."

  I sniffed, tears misting my eyes. "Thank you," I said. "That was really thoughtful."

  Knix's voice softened. "Harlow, we look out for our own. She's important to you. There are no thanks necessary."

  I sniffed again and released a breath. "Did he talk to her doctors?" I asked.

  "He’s here with me; you can ask him about it." I waited as the phone exchanged hands and then Bellamy's voice came through the speaker.

  "Sweetheart?"

  My hands slipped against the phone and a tingle erupted in the palm holding it to my ear as I recalled Marv’s words. Is it true? I wondered. Is Bellamy in love with me? "Hey," I breathed out the word, a smile rising to my lips.