Senior Year Bucket List

by Miller, J. M.

  “Pretty sure you already did. The fair,” I noted, recalling the night she’d shocked me in more than one way.

  “Oh, right.” Her voice was soft.

  “But I do deserve way more punishment. I was a shit.”

  A tiny smile stretched at the corner of her lips, sly and beautiful. I wanted to kiss those lips so badly, devour that sexy smirk.

  “So,” I said, after clearing my throat to prevent myself from groaning or attempting to act out what was becoming a very vivid situation in my head, “you ready?”

  “I think so. Would you be willing to carry the camera bag? I think the urn will fit inside if it makes it easier.”

  “Of course.”

  When we got to the ladder, I thought she would hesitate. But she surprised me by jumping right on and starting up. I followed closely behind her, mostly for support, should she have needed it, but also because the view of her ass was spectacular under the glow of a few safety spotlights affixed to the underside of the tower. I was hypnotized by her all over again. The fluid way she moved. The soothing sound of her voice.

  “Have you climbed some other water tower I don’t know about?” I asked as she slowly and carefully mounted the catwalk.

  She took a step forward then sank to her knees, breathing heavily. “No. I wanted to get it done fast. Cut the preamble, cut the chance of building more fear.”

  “Smart,” I replied. “Congrats. You made it.”

  “We made it.”

  “Well, I did do this once already. My senior year.”

  “Oh. You said you didn’t do your own list.” She shifted her feet underneath, gripped the railing, and stood.

  “Right, not actually a list,” I admitted, standing with her. “Others were doing it. Some things were just fun to do. No list needed for me to join in.”

  “Understandable. Any reason why not, though? Could have been fun.”

  I glanced up at the moon, watching the clouds move fast across the sky, covering and uncovering the light. “Besides already having done part of one and being occupied with work and football?” I paused, knowing my next words were raw and real and could stir up too much, push too far too fast. “It wasn’t the same without you.”

  The wind picked up, blowing her loose hair forward toward me, strands whirling around her face. “I, uh, should have brought a hair tie.”

  I stepped closer and reached out, gathering the strands and helping her tuck them back behind her ear and into her shirt collar. The heat of her was intoxicating. The spring night was comfortable even with the heavy wind, but that didn’t stop my body from wanting her near, wanting to feel her warmth.

  We had a task, though. “You want to get started? I brought the light attachment for the GoPro, but I’d rather not use it. I think it’ll ruin the experience, even if the video doesn’t show much.”

  “Okay,” she agreed.

  When I was ready, I told her, and she began talking. She touched a little on the night we’d been here in the snow, how Merilyn had stayed, fearless and driven. I panned the camera around, taking in the tiny slice of moon as lightning flickered in the distance.

  “That’s not good,” I said with a laugh. “Rain wasn’t in the forecast.” A rumble of thunder followed.

  “Guess it is now. We should probably go. I’m not daring enough to challenge lightning, especially when we’re standing on a huge conductor.”

  I grabbed the urn and handed it over for her to do the honors. As soon as she tipped a small amount over, it disappeared into the night, the wind carrying it off quickly.

  “Can I get my camera for a minute? I’d love to get a few quick shots in,” she said. “Now I understand why Mer stayed up here so long that night, even in the snow.”

  “Yeah.” It was the only response I could manage as a lump formed in my throat. Emotions were a bitch sometimes, closing a mouth that wanted to speak a thousand words. It was her. It was Mer. All of it.

  Her hair escaped its containment and waved out around her again, the ends whipping my face as she steadied her camera onto the rail to set up her shots. I inhaled, needing to capture the moment in my own way, memorizing the fresh water scent that was entirely her and not the approaching storm. House lights blinked in the distance, blotted by the rain.

  Another streak of lightning flashed, and thunder was fast to follow, louder and stronger. Celia backed up against me. I instinctively grabbed hold, wrapping my hands around her, dipping my face down alongside her neck.

  Her tense body loosened in my arms, and she breathed deeply. “We should go.” It was a whisper.

  “Yes,” I agreed, releasing her then packing her camera. “I’ll go first. That way if you fall, you’ll kill both of us.” She laughed lightly as I started down the ladder. “No pressure.”

  “You’re such a shit.” Another round of thunder followed her words.

  She moved a little slower on the way down but made it without killing us both and gave my arm a generous smack right at the bottom.

  “We still on tomorrow for the quarry?” I asked, needing reassurance since it was almost painful having to say goodnight.

  “As long as this storm passes, yeah. I have to admit that I’m nervous about that one, though.” She took hold of the bag when we reached the cars.

  “I’m sure that’ll pass as soon as we get there. And I promise not to be as big of an ass as I was then.”

  “You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” It was likely supposed to be a joke, but it seemed to hit something else as her voice softened and her eyes drifted away.

  Damn. A million things were swimming in my head, so many thoughts I wanted her to know. I still felt like it was in bad form to unload it all on her now, to risk the fragile meeting place we’d been given. Despite Mer’s faults, I wouldn’t want to ruin her last request by running Celia off due to my lack of self-control. That had been the cause of many of my problems in the past—no patience, quick action. I needed to wait.

  “I hope I haven’t been that bad during this to make you feel like I wouldn’t.”

  “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” Her words tumbled out in a whisper.

  Following another flash, rain started falling. There was no sprinkle lead-in, only fast, fat drops pounding down to the ground and onto us.

  “We better go,” I said, feeling the water soak into my hair, my T-shirt, and watching it do the same to her.

  “See you tomorrow.”

  We parted, both retreating to the dryness of our vehicles. I opened my door and set the GoPro and Mer’s urn onto the seat. For a moment, my eyes remained locked there on the metal containing my sister’s ashes, the biggest regret of my life flashing into my mind. Mer and I were the same in many ways, especially with our rash decisions, over-the-top antics, and drive for adventure. I knew she had her own regrets when she requested Celia and I revisit the list. She knew she’d broken two hearts the night she convinced me to let Celia go. I’d believed Mer’s reasoning. If I had followed through with my promise to Celia that night and we’d stayed together, she would have returned every weekend that fall, forgoing lots of experiences, holding her back from the life she deserved to begin.

  Given Celia’s reserved personality, there had been logic in Mer’s argument. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have agreed. I wanted what was best for Celia too.

  I had no idea what might have happened had I chosen differently. But I knew now that life didn’t wait. Things could change. People could die. I was wrong before. Curbing my impulses had been an essential part of growing up, sure. This wasn’t the right time for that, though. I needed to stop waiting and stop wasting time.

  “Celia!” I yelled, turning around as another streak of lightning lit up the night sky.

  She had already started her car, the headlights beaming at me and the back of my truck. When she noticed me walking toward her, she opened her door, stepped out, and yelled, “Something wrong?”

  My feet stopped moving halfway between us, all m
y courage disappearing as I watched the rain thoroughly wet her hair and stream down her gorgeous face. I’d lost all thought staring at her.

  A look of alarm crossed over her features. She closed her door and walked right to me, not caring about the rain, about the storm.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, all other words failing me despite the amount swirling inside my head.

  Her eyes squinted and her head tilted. “You already apologized, and I already forgave you.”

  “Not only for the wake. For everything. For all the times I messed with you. And for never showing up …” That night.

  “Caleb, why are you saying all this now? We can talk tomorrow, okay? It was over a long time ago. But if you need to hear it again tonight, I forgive you.”

  Without thought, I took one last step closer so my body was flush with hers, palmed her wet cheeks, and lifted her face. I tipped mine down farther, mixing our breaths together. “I’ve missed you so much. And I know this isn’t the perfect time, place, or situation—with the list and Mer and everything else—but I couldn’t wait another minute to tell you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I can’t let you go again.”

  “What about the girl at the wake?”

  “That was over the moment you busted into Mer’s room,” I admitted honestly.

  “And there’s … no one else?”

  “No. There’s never really been anyone else for me. It’s always been you.”

  Her eyebrows knitted together, and she released a breath. When her brows relaxed, all I could see was the relief in those big fucking eyes, as if she’d been waiting too long to hear those words. And, man, didn’t that make me want to go back in time and kick my own ass.

  But I wouldn’t dwell on that because I had her in my hands, and it was time to live in this moment.

  I leaned in and touched my wet lips to hers as the rain continued to fall. Her mouth opened with mine, our tongues meeting gently, like a tentative taste of the sweetest dream, making sure it was real after all. My body surged from the contact, pulsing with so many emotions. Her hands inched up my chest, and I pushed harder, with my tongue, with my mouth, while holding her face as carefully as I could manage. But holy hell I needed to feel more of her.

  Dropping my hands and breaking the kiss, I scooped her ass and lifted her body against me. She laughed and braced her forearms on my shoulders while her hands wrapped around the back of my head, fingers curling into my longer strands of hair up top.

  “Caleb,” she whispered with a smile above my lips.

  “Tarsier,” I replied, unable to stop myself, enjoying the way she was clinging to me like the adorable little big-eyed primate I’d nicknamed her after.

  She released a breathy laugh. “Did you do this on purpose?”

  “What?” I asked, closing my eyes for a long moment to focus on the feeling of her in my arms.

  Her lips came down to mine, brushing softly.

  Fuck. I was overloaded with sensation. Wet clothes. Slick skin. Celia’s lips on mine. My hands grasping her ass and thighs. So yeah, my dick strained against my jeans. I stifled a groan.

  “This. Kissing in the rain. It was another task I hadn’t done.”

  I smiled. “No, I’d forgotten about that girly shit.” We’d seen it when looking over the list at the arena, so she knew I hadn’t forgotten. But I hadn’t planned it either.

  She pinched my lower lip between her teeth—a lovely response to my joke about when we’d started the list—and this time I didn’t stifle my groan. Against my mouth, she whispered, “We don’t need to film this one.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

  Because there was no fucking way I’d share that moment with anyone else.

  15

  ______________

  Caleb

  -then-

  Dipping out of school probably wasn’t the best idea, but there were always worse things to get in trouble for. If we got caught, this day would be worth it. Senior skip day. I hadn’t planned on partaking. For one, I was a junior, which Mer and Celia both liked to remind me of constantly. And second, well, I wasn’t really wanting to get spun up in the hype. But—oh yes, there’s a but—when big sister called to say her Corolla broke down, guess who decided to save the day? Especially after finding out skip day would entail a task from the bucket list. My task, to be exact. The one I’d suggested from the start. So you’re damn right I’d be there.

  And since he was my best friend, Jacob—another junior on the varsity football team—tagged along.

  “I’m glad you didn’t tell anyone else we were ditchin’,” he said, holding his hand out the window and tapping on the roof of The Beast, trying to keep the beat of “Can’t Hold Us.” He was a bigger guy. Defensive linebacker. Saw a lot of action on and off the field. Couldn’t blame the chicks. He was a good guy and good-looking for a dude who’d had his nose broken at least once and went heavy with the hair product to style his way-longer locks up top.

  “If you hadn’t been standing next to me before the bell, I wouldn’t have told you either,” I said with a laugh.

  He slugged my arm, reaching me easily from the passenger side. “Good thing I’m not as clueless as you, like on the field during a blitz, running back. Wow, this place is a little hike. Where’d they break down? On the Mason-Dixon line?”

  “Close. She said it’s off the turn before the Maryland border. There,” I said, spotting the car pulled over down the gravel access road that led through the woods to the quarry.

  Mer and Celia stood outside of the Corolla, which was already jacked up in the back, ready for a tire change. I stared at Celia’s bright legs under the strong springtime sun. They glowed and practically sparkled as if they were calling for me.

  “Holy shit,” Jacob murmured, and I instantly fucking regretted bringing him and thought of ways to ditch him on the side of the road. “Damn, your sister is fine as fuck.”

  Annnd he could stay.

  I shuddered after what he said actually registered, though. Ew.

  As I pulled The Beast up behind the Corolla, Jacob whispered in a rush, “She dated Dean for a bit, right? But is she seeing anyone now?”

  “I have no clue, man. I’m not about knowing my sister’s dating life.” Now, about Celia … She’d gone on another date with Murph the weekend after the water tower, but it didn’t continue. Supposedly, she’d also gone out with some guy she’d waited on at The Shack, a senior from our rival school Woodland Prep. A few weeks before, I was happy to overhear her telling Mer that she’d eighty-sixed him after he asked to suck on her feet. I had to give the guy credit for asking. Not that I was into the foot fetish thing, but Celia’s were damn cute, and I probably wouldn’t say no if she wanted me to kiss ’em.

  “Think I’ve got a shot?”

  I side-eyed him as I cranked the stubborn steering column shifter into park.

  He shrugged with a laugh then jumped out of the truck with a smile as bright as Celia’s legs. “Ladies! Your friendly neighborhood mechanics are here to help.”

  Mer dropped her sunglasses and scowled at me. “About time.”

  I shrugged. “Uh, it’s over a half-hour drive.”

  “Do you have a tire iron or not? Someone forgot to put the one in this car back. And why is the bed of your truck stacked with dining room chairs?”

  “You didn’t tell me you had a flat,” I replied, watching Celia avoid looking at me again as Jacob said hi to her. “I have an iron. I’ll have to dig. And I was supposed to drop the orders off before school and forgot.”

  “Dad’s gonna have your ass.”

  “Yeah? Well, guess that’ll be two of us when he finds out we both ditched today.” I moved to the back and started digging inside the mounted toolbox. Nothing. Not even Dad’s ratchet set. I jumped down and went inside the cab, reaching into the small storage area behind the seat. Nada.

  “Don’t even tell me,” Mer said, shaking her head. “Well, most people were going to Murph’s
house today, but we told a few people our plan. Nobody’s passed us, so they might be there already. Just give us a ride. Someone’s bound to have a tire iron. We can snatch a ride back here when we leave. You won’t need to stick around.”

  “Ha! Yeah, like staying isn’t an option? Get in,” I said, climbing behind the wheel.

  And whaddya know? There was no room for anyone to jump into the back. Mer and I both would rather her walk than sit next to me. And I’d drop dead before I let Jacob squish up on me. So after they chucked their bags and towels into the bed, Celia climbed in first. Mer was next. Then Jacob managed to squeeze the passenger door shut with the four of us in the seat. It was cozy all right. Jacob was having a hard time hiding his grin as Mer settled in at his side. He ended up tossing his arm over the back of the bench seat so his wide shoulder didn’t eat more space, making it even cozier. Mer didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she started chatting after I put the truck in gear and took off.

  Celia smelled fantastic. She battled to keep most of her body pressed against Mer, but it was impossible. As she shifted her position, her hand pressed onto my thigh. “Sorry.”

  “Sure you are,” I joked, inhaling deeply and clenching all my muscles in an attempt to fight off the semi forming in my pants.

  She pursed her pretty lips at me with a shake of her head then tried her best to turn away, her hair spilling onto my shoulder as she readjusted. I had no idea what was happening on the other side of the cab. The chatter wasn’t even registering. I was surprised I could even focus on the damn road. She was hypnotizing, and I was enchanted by every move she made.

  When we pulled into the quarry, we saw a few other cars parked with people hanging around the cleared grassy space along the edge of the water and the rocky cliff face to the side. The space was open but surrounded by trees and set back far from the main road, keeping it hidden enough that most people weren’t even aware of it unless they lived close. There were rumors of a few drowning deaths throughout the years, but there was no fencing or signs to ward off visitors.

  “Celia,” I said as Jacob and Mer hopped out of the truck.