Beards

by Serena J Bishop

  Gina saw that Roni had grown paler. “Give us a minute, Early.” He gave a nod and followed Steven and Monica.

  “Let’s sit down, sweetheart,” Gina directed Roni over to a bench. As they sat, she rubbed small circles on Roni’s lower back. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

  Roni was instantly comforted with Gina at her side and by marrying Steven, it was a way to keep Gina by her side forever. Her protector. Her bee charmer. “It’s okay. I’m going to say those vows while I look at you, because I’m doing this for us.” Roni hugged Gina tightly and Gina returned the intensity, mindful not to wrinkle Roni’s dress. “Besides, I don’t want to have a child out of wedlock.”

  ***

  Roni, Gina, and Early watched out of the bay window of their home as Steven escorted his sister to her car. Monica gave him one last bear hug and a kiss on the cheek before she drove back to New Jersey.

  “At least she was nice to me,” commented Roni. “Even if she was insistent that I not have any champagne. That reminds me,” she tapped Early on the arm, “where’s the rum and diet Coke you promised me?”

  “Coming right up.” Early left for the kitchen and fixed the drinks while he continued the conversation. “I don’t know Monica well, but she did practically raise Steven, so I’m glad she was able to come. Did you call to tell your family yet?’”

  “No. I’ll call them and Allison tomorrow. That’ll be fun.”

  Steven came back into the house as Early brought in a tray of drinks. “I figured everyone might like a refreshment. If not, Roni can have all four. She’s earned it.”

  “Yes, she has,” agreed Gina. “Steven, why did you tell Monica that Roni was pregnant?”

  Steven picked up a glass and sipped. “Look, I’m sorry I went along with what Monica said, but think about it. It makes sense. Besides, in a month I’ll just call her up and say we lost the baby.”

  “Aww,” Roni said mournfully. “That’s just sad.”

  “It’s sad to miscarry your make-believe baby?” asked Early.

  “A little bit. Yeah.” Roni knew it was ridiculous, but that wasn’t the first time her maternal side had kicked in.

  “While it sounds depraved,” Gina added, “I think Steven’s right. People get married because of pregnancy all of the time. Not that we should tell people that was the reason.”

  ***

  “Hey, hey, Fields.”

  Steven looked away from his locker reluctantly. All he wanted to do was change into his uniform so he could start his shift. “Hi, Underwood.”

  “Is it true?” Underwood came closer, which made the underarm sweat stains of his undershirt even more visible. “You got hitched to that blonde from the barbeque?”

  Steven held up his finger—the one with the wedding band on it. He would have preferred to show Underwood the finger beside it.

  “Is the other rumor true?” He waggled his eyebrows. “That she’s pregnant?”

  Gina’s going to kill me for this. Steven suddenly wore his cockiest grin. “What can I say? Condoms are only effective ninety-nine percent of the time. It was statistically bound to happen.”

  Underwood slapped him on the back howling with laughter as he walked away. “You’re a dog, Fields.” Then, he actually howled.

  ***

  Roni was appalled. She started her least favorite lesson in school earlier, she had an exam later in the evening, and now there was this. “Steven said what?”

  “That it was bound to happen based on how much you two have sex,” Gina answered. “Don’t worry though, I slapped Steven upside the head pretty good for that one.”

  “Thank you.” Roni hoped people wouldn’t whisper “nympho” whenever she walked by at the next police picnic. “When I talked to my parents last night, they asked me if I was pregnant too.”

  “What did you tell them?”

  Roni sighed. “I said ‘yes’, and that was after I told them about Steven. I think Dad actually dropped the phone when I said he’s black.”

  “I bet. Did you call Allison?”

  “I chickened out. I’m going to meet her for dinner before our class tonight to break the news.”

  ***

  Allison narrowed her eyes at Roni. “There is no fucking way you’re pregnant.”

  “I could be,” Roni argued. “After spending so much time with Steven, maybe I fell madly in love with him and switched teams?”

  “You did not!” She continued to stare at her friend. “This is what I think. I think that Early and Gina are each others’ beards and now you and Steven are each others’ beards.”

  “Beards?”

  “How could you have never heard of that term? For all of your reading, you can be really clueless sometimes.”

  Roni was taken aback by her friend’s assessment. “I am not clueless. This makes sense given the society we live in.”

  “Oh my God, Roni! Will you listen to yourself? Yes, being gay isn’t the norm, but being fake married and having fake miscarriages isn’t really normal either.”

  Roni knew it would be a difficult conversation, but hadn’t expected to be so agitated. “Well, what do you know about being gay in today’s society?”

  “I know enough. Remember, I was a participant in our Sisters Loving Sisters fundraiser.”

  Roni learned a lot about herself that night. Actually, she learned a lot about Theresa too and grinned briefly at the nostalgia. “Okay, so what if we are each others’ beards? This is a great idea.”

  Allison mirthlessly laughed. “I know that this may seem like a great idea, but these lies are going to snowball and the stress from it is going to build fast. I hope you guys know what you’ve gotten yourselves into.”

  SEPTEMBER 2014: OFFICIALLY FAMILY

  STEVIE DRANK THE REST OF his soda until the half air-half liquid suction created a distinctive slurp. “So, that was Mom and Dad’s big wedding day and aftermath.”

  Bradyn wore a frown as she rested her pointed chin in her hand. “That’s kind of sad.”

  “Why would you say that?” From his point of view, it was a unique story, but he would never dare call it sad. Once his best friend Devin described his parents’ marriage as the two faces of Greek theatre. Stevie could understand that view. But sad?

  Bradyn comforted her boyfriend with a brief squeeze of his hand. He could leap to conclusions so quickly sometimes. “The marriage isn’t sad. The part about your Mom’s side being full of racist assholes and the charade they went through just to be together is.” She thought about one final matter. “Although, phony miscarriages register pretty low on the happy story spectrum, too. FYI.”

  Stevie’s green eyes sparkled. “But things got less phony shortly after that.”

  MARCH 1994

  “IT’S ALWAYS LIKE GUESS WHO’S Coming to Dinner,” Steven commented to Gina as they entered the station house, “but they know exactly who is coming to dinner! And Roni does her best to talk me up. ‘Steven’s a Marine. Steven played in the Little League World Series. Steven treats me with respect.’ I’m glad they live far enough away so we won’t get the pop in visit.”

  Gina knew Steven had it rough when it came to Roni’s family. “I’m sorry you have to go through all of that, but at least they’re fake in-laws. I’m sure over time they’ll warm up to you.”

  “Just like Monica’s warmed up to you?”

  “Touché.” She hung her police hat and collapsed in her rickety, swivel chair at her designated spot in “the desk farm” to complete her paperwork from patrol.

  Steven sat with his reports in front of him. “What tipped you off that little kid was involved with the graffiti too?”

  “His eyebrows were tinted blue. How could you not see that?”

  “He had dark hair.”

  “It was two o’clock in the afternoon! Or maybe you couldn’t tell from being all the way up there?” Steven did have almost two feet on the ten-year-old delinquent.

  “Possibly,” said a deep voice from abo
ve her, “sometimes you miss details from certain angles.”

  She rested her pen and gave the voice’s owner her full attention “Captain. What can we do for you?”

  Captain Louis Morris had a year-round tan that made his white hair even more pronounced. Like most days, his tie had been loosened by ten a.m. and his pockets were full of mint wrappers. “I’d like to speak with you for a moment in my office. Just you though, DiCarlo.” As quickly as he arrived, he left.

  “Oh. Okay.” Gina scrambled to put away her forms and asked Steven, “What’s this about?”

  He was just as puzzled. “I have no idea, but I’ll make sure I see it from this angle to give you a different perspective.”

  “Shut up.” Gina passed a few other officers on her way. All gave her stares that made her especially uneasy. She knocked softly on the open door of her superior’s office. “Sir?”

  “Have a seat, DiCarlo.”

  “Thank you, Captain.” She sat in the visitor’s chair and wished for a mint to ease her stomach. She hadn’t done anything that she could think of that may have landed her in the hot seat. “I didn’t do anything wrong, did I, Captain?”

  “Not that I know of. I called you in because I wanted to thank you for the help you provided the other day when you translated for that elderly woman.”

  “Oh.” The tension she felt in her shoulders and acid reflux that had built immediately vanished. “You’re welcome. It was the least I could do. Did she make it back home safely?”

  “Well, I know she made it back to Philadelphia social services safely. They’re going to launch an investigation into the facility she ‘escaped’ from and how she ended up on that bus here. But that incident brings me to why I called you in here. I want to talk about you and your career.”

  “My career, Captain?”

  “Yes.” He gave her a rare grin, which made the crows feet surrounding his eyes even deeper. “You’re incredibly bright, DiCarlo. You do things by the book. Your reports are always clear and concise. You can outrun and outmaneuver most of your male colleagues. And even when you’d be totally justified to, you never tell Underwood to go shove it.” Behind Gina’s back, Underwood feigned getting shot in the chest. “Overall, you’re an excellent police officer.”

  Gina smiled broadly enough for her dimple to show. “Thank you, Captain. That means a tremendous amount coming from you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He opened his center desk drawer and pulled a sheet of memo paper with several dates and a phone number written on it. He handed it to her.

  “What’s this?”

  “That’s the phone number to schedule your detective’s exam and those are the dates it’s being offered. I think you should consider it. I don’t know how many spots will open up this year, but in the next few years there will be a few old timers retiring. That’s going to open up positions. I think you should have one of those spots.”

  She stared at the paper in her hand, flabbergasted. Without a college degree, she never thought that she’d be recommended for the test. At least, not before her ten years of service were complete. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you. Thank you so much, Captain.”

  “You’re the one who’s done the work. You should thank yourself. Now, go finish up your paperwork and head home. Any plans tonight? Now that you and Fields have a first shift, hopefully, you’ve been making some.”

  “Yes, sir. I have dinner plans. An anniversary of sorts.”

  “Very good.” When she continued to sit and stare at the paper in her hands, he prompted, “You’re dismissed, DiCarlo.”

  Steven saw Gina approach her desk with the true definition of a poker face. Usually, he could pick up on subtle features that gave away her mood—her lips pursed together from tension or when she combed her fingers through her short hair repeatedly. But he couldn’t pick up on anything. “What did the Captain want?”

  “He just wanted to thank me for translating.” She grinned and went back to her reports.

  ***

  Gina took a sip of the Amarone that had been poured for her and nodded her approval to the sommelier. It had been a genuine quest to locate a restaurant that served that significant variety of wine. He poured two glasses and after he gave Gina hers, handed Roni the other. In their cozy corner, the candlelight of the table was even more pronounced now that the crystal stemware had been added.

  Gina waited until she and Roni were alone. “You look positively radiant. I just love that dress.”

  Early and Roni had been out shopping together, a favorite activity of theirs, when Early had spotted a halter dress the same color green as Roni’s eyes. Since March wasn’t exactly sleeveless weather, she had a wrap of a darker green to wear over her shoulders. Between the colors and candlelight, her hair shimmered like gold. “If you like it so much you can try it on. Might be a little tight in the bust though,” Roni teased with a mischievous smile.

  “I only like it because you’re the one who is in it.” Gina held up her glass of the full-bodied red, “To the three best years of my life and let there be many, many more.”

  “To three great years.” Roni clinked her glass against Gina’s, the high-pitched ring signaled that their special evening could begin. “I never thought we’d ever be able to celebrate our anniversary, out to dinner, on the actual day without you having to bribe your Captain. I can’t tell you how much I love the fact that we share the same schedule most of the time now.”

  “You’re not sick of seeing me?”

  “Seeing all of you, all the time is far from sickening. Although, I have gotten to work a little later than usual on a few occasions.”

  “That last time was completely your doing and you know it. Tease,” Gina smirked and sipped some of her wine. “So, speaking of Captain Morris—who would never take a bribe—called me into his office today. He started by thanking me with the translation I did and then he gave me some very interesting information.” Gina’s eyes glinted with excitement. “He wants me to take the detective’s exam.”

  “Oh my God! That’s great!”

  Gina smiled. “It really could be. The hours may be a little strange, but the pay would be better and it would actually be challenging work. But challenging in a good way.”

  “This is fantastic news, babe. I’m so proud of you.” If possible, Roni’s smile was larger than Gina’s. She had been telling Gina, even before they were officially a couple, that she was destined to be a leader.

  “Had you not encouraged me to go the extra mile like you did, I’m not sure it would have happened. And truthfully, I wasn’t sure how excited you’d be, considering the timing of this. Since you’ll be graduating with your Master’s in two months—”

  “Hallelujah.”

  “And you might want to move up the ladder too, this could lead to a lot of changes for us. Not just us, but the whole house. Mostly, I’m worried how Steven will accept the news that I want to take the test. We’ve been partners for six years.”

  “You didn’t tell him when you were at work today?”

  “No,” Gina downcast her eyes, ashamed of what she had done, “I kinda lied. Well, no. I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell him.”

  “Why not?” That seemed out of character for Gina. They had agreed that omitting the truth was essentially the same as a lie.

  “He’s my best friend. Me taking the test is basically saying, ‘I don’t want to work with you anymore.’”

  Roni sipped her wine and thought about the situation. “I know he’ll miss you as a partner, but he loves you as a friend more. You should tell him before you take the test. Who knows, maybe he’ll be interested too? Or he’ll have heard some inside information? Regardless, I think he’d want you to do this.”

  “I should make dinner to butter him up.”

  “Couldn’t hurt,” Roni said with a small shrug.

  ***

  “Something’s up,” Early sat thigh-to-thigh with Roni and scratched his head thoughtfully through his slightly lo
nger hair. Toni Braxton was his new diva of choice, which meant he didn’t have to wear a wig for his shows anymore. “Gina has all the ingredients out for eggplant parm and she never cooks except when there’s something big happening. What do you know?”

  She put the book she had been reading down. “You’re so suspicious. Do you know that?”

  Early cocked his head inquisitively. “And you just answered a question with a question, which is what you always do when you’re hiding or stalling. Did you know that?”

  “No,” Roni sheepishly admitted. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but you can’t tell Steven,” she said seriously.

  Early clapped silently. “Gossip! Okay, spill.”

  “Gina wants to take the detective exam.”

  Early’s spirit deflated and his narrow shoulders sank. “Oh, honey, I knew that. That captain really should learn to shut his office door. Apparently, the whole department heard about it through that Underwood creep. I thought maybe the fancy dinner was a way to civilly discuss the thing Monica asked Steven.”

  “What did Monica ask?”

  “Oh, I’m so not going there,” Early stood and briskly walked away. He did not want to be the one who brought this up to Roni. “I’ll let my man handle that at dinner.”

  A few hours later, the dining table was packed to the brim with Gina’s Italian feast. “Everything is from scratch so the amount of sugar in the sauce is cut down.”

  “I appreciate you not trying to kill me,” Early said.

  “Anytime,” Gina took her place at the table to join the others. “I hope you all enjoy it even though apparently everyone knows my big news.”

  “I should have told you that I knew, Gina,” Steven said, as he scooped up a generous portion of eggplant Parmigiana. “It’ll be a hard transition not to work with you, but I have a feeling they’d shift us around once we got to the ten-year mark anyway. I just pray that I won’t have to partner with Underwood. Please, pass the salad,” he directed Gina.

  She handed him the bowl, “You’re talking like I’ve already gotten the job.”

  Steven smiled, “That’s because you will. Roni’s not the only one who knows you’re smart.”